You and I both know you haven’t been paying for $30 SoulCycle classes because you “just love the way exercise makes you feel.” You’ve been working hard to look good, and now it’s time to show off your butt that you’ve been working so hard for. Sure, you could rock those high-waisted shorts with the hemline that’s literally at your ass cheeks, but that might not work in all occasions, like work and family gatherings. Or like, maybe it’s cold outside, IDK. So you want to make your butt look round and toned without actually exposing it. Life is hard. Keep in mind as you shop for your own butt-flattering ensemble that there are a few key outfit components that will help draw attention to your derriere. I’ve styled three occasion-specific outfits that will best show off your butt. And don’t worry if you’re ass is basically nonexistent—these outfits will work for flat and bubble butt girls alike. There is a god.
For Being Out & About Running Errands…
You probably already know what I’m going to say here. Yup, YOGA PANTS. Ask any guy on a college campus (or like, in existence) and he’ll tell you the wonders of yoga pants and the magic they do for a girl’s ass. To up the ante even further, wear your Lulus with a crop top to show off your midriff and really accentuate your waist. This will draw attention to the contrast in size between your tiny waist and now-looking-extra-fat ass.
From left: Brandy Melville Serena rainbow top; Lulu Lemon Wunder Under hi-rise tight full-on Luon 28″
For When You’re Daytime Casual
Daytime casual can pretty much mean anything from shopping with your friends to dinner with your boyfriend’s family. These are the outfits you wear when you want to look like a put-together classy lady and not like your true trash bag self headed to 1Oak. This is the instance when you’ll most likely reach for your jeans, so let’s discuss what to look for in your denim specifically.
When shopping for denim to accentuate your ass, look for styles that will contour your butt. I know it sounds ridic, but then again what don’t we contour these days? You want to look for jeans that have strategically placed sanding—basically, envision your best Mudd jeans from middle school. Remember how the butt was a lighter shade than the rest of the pants? There was a reason for that. That’s the same kind of style you’ll need now in order to perfectly flaunt the shape of your butt. Lighter washes of denim in general will help draw additional attention to your ass, so get yourself a pair of Levis which are vvvv trendy right now.
Another thing to look for when choosing your jeans is back pocket details. Details, such as pocket flaps and zippers, add volume to your butt and draw more attention to it. But be careful, because huge pockets will make your butt look smaller, so look for smaller pockets. You should also always look for high rise styles to, again, highlight the contrast between your butt and waist. Pair your high waisted denim with a peplum top which automatically accentuates curves.
From left: Ale by Allesandra x Revolve Caridad top; AGOLDE Jamie high rise
For When You’re Out On The Town…
Head to your local Body Central or Wet Seal (if that still exists) because the only thing you’ll need to show off your ass is a bodycon dress! If you want to look *slightly* more classy, pick one with a high neck and long sleeves. This style will make you look hot without looking like you’re trying to look hot, even though you are trying to look hot. I know, being a girl is hard. Anyway, a solid colored style of dress will look chic as hell and show off your ass without distracting away from it.
Cue “Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj ‘cause you’re ready to show off that ass whatever the occasion!
Images: Brandy Melville; Lululemon; Revolve (2); Free People
Since I’m originally from upstate New York, a place you probably only know as like, “near Canada” where people wear a grotesque amount of John Deere, or whatever that camo brand is, I only know weather as being hot or cold. There isn’t really an in-between. When it’s cold, which is more often than not, I wear leggings religiously. When temperatures hit 80 degrees or more, I get a little too excited and break out my Dukes of Hazzard-looking denim shorts. This is only slightly an issue when I have to go to that thing called work, or attend an event where people think when I say “I drink” only means having an occasional glass of wine.
Ha. Ha. Imagine.
Well, thanks to the latest pant ~trend~, I found a solution: pants that aren’t technically Bermuda shorts (no fucking thanks) but, are more like modernized gaucho pants (??). Just hear me out. They’re not too creepily short or long, they’re lightweight for summer, and they come in millions of styles so you’re bound to find the perfect look for you. Start with these 5 trendy styles picked out by yours truly.
1. Sensi Studio Cropped Tasseled Crinkled-Cotton Pants
For your first pair, start with black—something you’re comfortable and too familiar with. These pants are made out of a breathable cotton, so no worries about sweat stains. The cuffs are finished with tassels to provide a carefree, playful look to your OOTD. Accentuate the high waist with a fitted top or tuck in a flowy blouse to add volume. Just make sure it doesn’t actually look like an awk muffin top.
2. Cleobella Xico Wrap Pants
I’m probably being biased because I’m embarrassingly short, but this style is my fave only because I can’t find a maxi skirt without having to get it hemmed afterwards. These comfortable pants come pretty close, with v sexual leg openings for a slutty free-spirited feel. They’re made out of sheer rayon so you’ll be able to withstand suffocating heat and stay remotely cool all day long. For a boho chic look, wear with a flowy crop top or tucked in bardot shirt.
3. AMUSE SOCIETY Riya Pant
Get crazy and loud with a fun tropical pattern. Wear these to your next happy hour or to your next vacay overseas. Pair with a solid white or black tank, or to hell with that, make it easier for your (lazy) self and just get the matching shirt.
4. Kobi Halperin Lainey Pants
Find a silky, ivory pair like these for your next lunch date to breeze through the afternoon with no problem. Take these from day to night(club) with their scallop cutouts and high waistband. Pair with your fave wedges and a bright colored shirt to really make a statement. No cranberry and vodkas though because like, white, duh.
5. Leith Drawstring Crop Pants
These will probably be your new hangover pants. With its adjustable drawstring waist, you can wear these as loose as you want (just don’t get crazy) and stay comfortable all through brunch with your mimosa bloat. Wear with a loose-fitted T-shirt or white crop top to balance the stripes. Maybe if you’re lucky, you can wear these to work without showing everyone you actually made no effort in your outfit. Maybe.
