The Fourth of July is like the unsung hero of drinking holidays in that it comes along in the dead of summer, when the weather is beautiful but I’m still trapped indoors at my 9-to-5 and need to be reminded of my will to live. Preferrably through shots. Furthermore, I wholeheartedly support any holiday that gives me an extra day to black out focus on me and my needs and also one that encourages a theme. Despite the fact that New York is probably going to be sweltering hot this weekend, I will one hundo percent be decked out in some form of red, white, and blue and be drinking on a packed, sweaty rooftop somewhere in support of this great country that elected an orange man with Polly Pocket hands to run it. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it drink until they forget about it. So here are the bars you should live your best life and black out in on this Fourth of July because, IDK, freedom or something.

1. Mr. Purple (LES)

Ah, my favorite place to go to and forget the fact that I have the same income as my G Little who just graduated from college two weeks ago. If you haven’t been to this bar yet then I feel sad for you and the life you lead because you are missing out on a fun fucking time. It’s boujee AF and located on the roof of a hotel that I’d probs have to sell my eggs on the black market just to be able to afford their cheapest room. The views are the best I’ve seen in NYC and that’s saying a lot because I pride myself on being a person that is annoying AF on Instagram frequents rooftop bars. Plus in the summer this place gets v exclusive when they open the pool. Basically, it’s the perfect place to debut your new Bad Betch one piece and also feel rich AF.

2. The Standard Beer Garden (Meatpacking)

If you’re looking to day drink with old AF frat bros in khakis then you’re in luck, girlfriend, because this place is the mecca for white dudes looking to reclaim their lost youth. I love it here. Located directly beneath the High Line, it feels tucked away from all the annoying AF tourists walking around (gags) while also keeping the charm of the meatpacking district. It’s a good spot day or night to drink beers that weigh more than my winter body weight and still feel somewhat classy doing it.

3. Night of Joy (Williamsburg)

This place is so blatantly hipster it’s this close to growing a beard. But, like, it’s got a gorgeous rooftop so I guess I’ll ignore the fact that there’s a distinct pretentious douchebaggery to it (or is that sandalwood?) and that every guy at the bar is wearing a smaller jean size than me. And, yes, having a rooftop is the only criteria needed for me to get blackout at an establishment. That and $3 cans of Tecate, which they also have in spades. Praise be. My only advice is that you don’t bring your Urban Outfitters Polaroid camera with you when you go. They won’t think you’re being cute or ironic, they’ll just low-key conspire against serving you at the bar. Which I know from absolutely no personal experience. Just saying. You’ve been warned.

4. The Boat Basin Cafe (UWS)

I know what you’re thinking, the Boat Basin Cafe? Isn’t that, like, upstate? 79th street, but yes, it absolutely is. Just don’t tell the regulars at this bar that, lest you be lectured on the real estate market for park adjacent apartments. But if you’re willing to make the journey have your sanity tested by off-peak hours MTA service, then you should def hit up the this place. Your eyes will one-hundred-percent be assaulted by a crowd of people in pastels and probs grown men wearing rompers but it’s worth it for the views. The drinks are kind of pricey, but then again can we really put a price on a fire waterfront selfie that will make every boy who follows you on Snapchat jealous? Yes, but only if you’re an ex-Bachelor contestant whoring herself for Instagram ads.

5. Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden (Astoria)

Speaking of places that are far as shit, Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden is located in Queens, which I’ve only ever been to twice and both times involved a sassy Uber driver and the G train. *shudders* BUT it’s still a solid choice for those looking to kill their last remaining brain cells over Independence Day. The indoor section isn’t much to look at, but the outdoor part is ideal for throwing back beers and forgetting that you just aged five years trekking to Queens. Tbh I blacked out the last time I was there (which seems like the point) and I don’t remember much other than that their drunk eats were on point. That feels like reason enough to give this place a(nother) try.

6. Extra Fancy (Williamsburg)

I’ve got two words for you: Frozen. Rosé. ON TAP. And before you start some shit with me about how rosé is on its way out as everyone’s favorite summer beverage, I would just like to say that I will fight this one to the end because anything that’s pink and looks good on my Instagram story will be a drink I choose in this life and every other. Just saying. This place itself is an interesting mix of uptight hipsters and basic bitches like myself who are only there for their Instagram story. That being said, the space is huge and it’s got the whole indoor/outdoor thing going for it in case the weather decides to sabotage your July 4th plans by raining. Also, the drinks are v cheap—$8 for a solo cup of frosé (A SOLO CUP) and $5 for draft beer and wine—so it’s the perfect place for day drinking and getting white girl wasted enough to scare the hipsters back to the Bushwick artist dens they crawled out of.

Hipster: *tries to sell me on some bullshit about not believing in monogamy or labels or capitalism*

Me:

7. Pod 39 Rooftop (Murray Hill)

This place is bro-y AF and you know I’m here for it. The vibe is very Cabo with all of its terra cotta columns, Mexican-tiled tables, and a menu full of nothing but tacos, tequila, and bad decisions with a guy who’s tall, dark, and you’re drunk enough for him to be handsome. Also the guy in question is definitely not Mexican but instead someone who says shit like “why can’t they speak just speak the language.” Well we can’t have it all, girls. Aside from the clientele, the view is amazing and the margs are making me want to write a pleasant review on Yelp, which are words I never thought would leave my mouth.

8. The Delancey (LES)

Imagine spending hours willingly ingesting poison Snake Juice, but instead of doing this in some dingy bar with barely any light and vomit lining the bathroom walls where that behavior is socially acceptable *cough* HAIR OF THE DOG *cough* you’re sitting on a rooftop among white chaise lounges and palm trees. It’s a dangerous combination because on the one hand you’re getting fucked up off of Champagne and vodka that costs more than your internet bill, but on the other hand the setting is making you feel more entitled than Paris Hilton in a tracksuit.

^literally me last Saturday

This place is legit ground zero for drunk texting your ex and picking a fight with your bestie in a public bathroom. It’s really quite lovely. Hit this place up Sunday through Thursday from 5-7pm for happy hour and also if you’re feeling like setting fire to your personal life. 

So, like, summer is officially here, and somehow I don’t have the bikini body of Gigi Hadid despite working super hard on not eating and only drinking vodka sodas. Rude. Since I’m all about giving up and giving in to temptation these days (lol yolo), I figured we skip the low-cal vodka drinks and questionable hard seltzers (we’ve hit a new low as a society) and go right for the drink of psychopaths—gin. Weirdly, this liquor reminiscent of cleaning solution goes beautifully with things like fresh berries and mint aka the prime farm-to-table crops of summer. To get in the spirit, we mashed ’em all up together and made an alcoholic bev that’ll keep us cool and happy when we’re getting our tan on.

Ingredients

• 1 6-oz container of blackberries OR raspberries … or a combination of the two. IDGAF, it’s your life.
• ½ cup white sugar
• 2 cups gin
• 1 cup fresh lime juice
• 1-2 bottles of that hard seltzer shit—we used Spiked Seltzer
• Mint

1. Grab your Vitamix or poor people blender and combine the blackberries and sugar. Once you’re done blending, stir the concoction until the sugar looks dissolved, which honestly may take a while. You can also put it on the stove in a small saucepan and heat the mixture until the sugar is alllllll gone.

2. Once you’ve got that where you need it, strain the mixture through a fine sieve into a pitcher so you can throw out the seeds. Ain’t nobody want those.

3. Grab your gin and lime and pour into the pitcher with the blackberry stuff. Then divide among glasses and top with the hard seltzer and sprigs of fresh mint.

It’s like totally healthy because there’s fruit in it, fucking duh! 

We’re approaching the part of summer when the temperature in NYC becomes absolutely unbearable. The “concrete jungle” isn’t so fun once you realize it’s actually just a massive heat trap and the city decides it no longer needs to collect its 10,000 pounds of rotten garbage anymore. God forbid you have to get on the subway at any point, that’s just game fucking over. Anyways, our respite from all of this is either 1) the Hamptons, obvi or 2) scenic bars where we can cool down with some extremely overpriced beverages. Here are the best places to get drinks with a view of the city this summer, because I don’t care if there are beaches, I’m still not going to Jersey.

1. Le Bain (West Village)

Le Duh. This rooftop bar is located at the top of The Standard and is basically the only place in Manhattan I’m willing to tolerate that doesn’t have central AC pumping throughout the entire thing 24/7. TBCH the glass rooftop can get exceedingly hot on a sunny day but is worth it for the views, the pretty people and the pitchers of cocktails, in that order. Oh and there’s also a pool if you feel like getting herpes.

2. Frying Pan (Pier 66)

If you want to be as close to the water as humanly possible without drowning then Frying Pan is your place since it’s literally a boat that’s permanently docked. During the day it’s basically a giant frat party which can be extremely fun if you don’t get seasick because again, it’s a boat and it moves. You’ll probably be feeling pretty wobbly from the alcohol regardless, so either way it’s whatevs.

3. Loopy Doopy (Battery Park)

You already know this place even if you don’t think you do, since it’s the bar where everyone ‘grams a picture of their boozy popsicles dipped in champagne. It costs almost $30 for that drink, which is good, but like, not that good. It’s also filled with lots of annoying (sorry not sorry) finance people, so this is a one-and-done kind of venue unless you enjoy your Prosecco with a side of douchebag.

4. Refinery Rooftop (Midtown West)

It’s not the most “lit” bar in NYC, but then again if you went to Frying Pan every day you wouldn’t have a liver. Refinery Rooftop definitely has its charm in an industrial-chic kind of way, which makes it perfect for anything from after-work drinks to your go-to spot for shit-talking people while drinking rosé. The food is pretty decent too, if that’s a thing you’re doing this summer.

5. Gallow Green (Chelsea)

When the last plant you’ve seen was the succulent you killed last year, Gallow Green provides a nice urban oasis that’s perfect for weekend day drinking. It’s more chilled out than some of the more packed venues listed above, which means you can both cure your heat stroke and not come into physical contact with any bro who’s fully sweated through his button-down.

6. Hotel Chantelle (LES)

Most times I’ve been here I’ve been extremely blacked out, but from what I can recall this rooftop is a spacious area that’s great for large groups of drunk people. They do brunch during the day, which turn into club tables at night aka the perfect section to get free drinks from and then walk away immediately after.

7. Rock & Reilly’s (Midtown West)

This place is a hidden gem but I guess I’ll share it with you because I’m feeling somewhat generous. If you work or live near Midtown and don’t feel like schlepping far away for some nice scenery and drinks, this place has both and a ton of space. There’s an indoor section (which has a sports bar vibe) and outdoor section with its own bar area. There’s usually never a line, so please don’t completely blow up my spot k thanks bye.

Iced coffee is one of the best things invented by whoever accidentally left their morning cup of coffee out, had it get cold, tasted it, and was not immediately grossed out. When you combine a finely made cup of coffee with cream, ice, and a sunshiny day, your life is just instantly better.

Of course, a betch does not live on coffee alone. When you add alcohol to the mix, you’re in for a good fucking time. Like, the possibilities are endless. Do you want an iced Irish coffee? A splash of Bailey’s? Shit, do you wanna add a boatload of Kahlua and call it a day?

Whatever your alcoholic coffee adventure, here are our two fav recipes to guide you:

Fancy Iced Coffee: Adapted from Cooks with Cocktails

Ingredients

• 4 oz. Kahlua
• 1 cup whole milk (or Almond or Coconut milk)
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 4 oz. Bailey’s
• 1 vanilla bean — yes, really

Grab two glass Pyrex dishes. In one, add the coffee and Kahlua, stirring until totally incorporated. In the other, add the milk, cream, Bailey’s, and the inside of the vanilla bean, mixing with a whisk until everything is incorporated. (If you can’t like, travel to Madagascar in order to acquire a whole vanilla bean, just use like, 1 tsp of vanilla extract.) Put both containers in the freezer for 45 minutes. After that, take em out and scrape them with a fork to move them around. Put back in the freezer for another 45 minutes—keep repeating the scraping until both mixtures are slushy.

Grab a glass and add some of the coffee slush—top with the creamy slush. Andddd serve. No ice required.

Simple Iced Coffee: For the lazy

Ingredients

• 1 ½ oz. whipped cream flavored vodka — looking at you, Pinnacle
• 2 tbsps. heavy cream
• Cold brew coffee — again, you can buy this shit now, so don’t bother making it unless you’re a hipster barista

Fill your glass with ice. Pour in the vodka, cream, and fill to the top with coffee. Bam, alcohol coffee.

In case you haven’t seen Entourage, day drinking and living in LA go hand in hand. Because what else are you supposed to do in perfect weather when you don’t have a real job? Rooftop bars are perfect for day drinking because you can get drunk while looking down on everyone working on your tan. In honor of Memorial Day weekend, here are the best rooftop bars in LA to make questionable decisions at.

1. The Standard Downtown

The Standard has one of the best hotel happy hours on their rooftop bar. There’s a beer garden, a cocktail bar, and a pool (duh). It’s right in the heart of downtown, which means you’ll be able to bar hop your way around once you get tired of being above everyone else.

2. EP & LP

This West Hollywood bar was very trendy when it opened a few years ago and it still is. There’s an Asian fusion restaurant downstairs, because of course there is. The sleek gray interiors and hot gay waiters and waitresses set the mood for Hollywood types to sit and spend. The convenient rooftop bar also makes it easy for you to transition from a business meal to getting wasted on the roof. It’s a good place to people watch, but don’t wear flats here or you’ll feel underdressed. 

3. The Red Lion Tavern

This Echo Park bar is very hipster and chill, which is good for groups (aka co-ed groups) that might not be into a scene type of place. The Red Lion is an old school German beer garden type, so the bar maids and bartenders are slow and a little grumpy, but the good news is the beers come in boots if you want to order more and save yourself the hassle of having to get the bartender’s attention again. The roof is small but nice especially during the day when all of Silverlake and Echo Park is out. If you’re hanging out in this area, chances are you live on the East Side and you’ll probably run into at least three people you know, including someone you went to high school with.

4. Perch

Another downtown rooftop bar with a great view of the city. The vibe here is definitely more work crowd than struggling artist, but you’ll enjoy talking to people without them asking you to read their screenplay or worse, check out their reel.

5. Hotel Erwin

So Venice might not technically be LA, but fuck it it’s almost summer and you belong by the beach. This is a great bar to take visitors in the summer because they’ll want to (ugh) see Venice and you can pop over to Hotel Erwin after for some watermelon cocktails and amazing views of the sunset. Just don’t fall in love with the DJ here or you might never leave Venice.

6. Mama Shelter

This rooftop bar is kitschy but cute and sits on top of a hotel in Hollywood. They’re also a restaurant with food served until late night if you get drunk munchies. It’s also close to all the clubs in Hollywood, or if you want to go dance at Davey Wayne’s you’re right around the corner.

7. Skybar

This is part of the Mondrian Hotel in Hollywood, but there’s a separate secret entrance to get up to the rooftop. This is like a go-out-all-night-because-IDGAF kind of bar, so expect to get blackout or see the sun come up. Probably both simultaneously. Chances are if you’re going out with your girlfriends here, somebody is on the rebound. Nothing like going to a rooftop bar in a hotel to remind you that the fuckboy who dumped you probably couldn’t even make it past the lobby. Sorry, but I’m too far above you to care what he’s saying.

Want to read about the best outdoor bars in New York? Click here!

Memorial Day is like the unsung hero of drinking holidays in that it comes along when we least expect it to save us from spring weather that is legit moodier than me day one of my period and finally bring us to the promised land aka summer. Furthermore, I wholeheartedly support any holiday that gives me an extra day to black out focus on me and my needs and also one that encourages a theme. Despite the fact that New York is trying to rob me of my happiness going to have shit weather this weekend I will one hundo percent be decked out in some form of red, white, and blue and will be drinking in support of this great country that elected an orange man with Polly Pocket hands to run it. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it drink until they forget about it. So here are the bars you should live your best life and blackout in over MDW because patriotism:

1. Mr. Purple (LES)

Ah, my favorite place to go to and forget the fact that I have the same income as my G Little who just graduated from college two weeks ago. If you haven’t been to this bar yet then I feel sad for you and the life you lead because you are missing out on a fun fucking time. It’s boujee AF and located on the roof of a hotel I’d probs have to sell my eggs on the black market just to be able to afford their cheapest room. The views are the best I’ve seen in NYC and that’s saying a lot because I pride myself in being a person that is annoying AF on Instagram frequents rooftop bars. Plus in the summer this place gets v exclusive when they open the pool. Basically, it’s the perfect place to debut your new Bad Betch one piece and also feel rich AF.

2. The Standard Beer Garden (Meatpacking)

If you’re looking to day drink with old AF frat bros in khakis then you’re in luck, girlfriend, because this place is the mecca for white dudes looking to reclaim their lost youth. I love it here. Located directly beneath the High Line, it feels tucked away from all the annoying AF tourists walking around while also keeping the charm of the meatpacking district. It’s a good spot day or night to drink beers that weigh more than my winter body weight and still feel somewhat classy doing it. 

3. Night of Joy (Williamsburg)

This place is so blatantly hipster it’s this close to growing a beard. But, like, it’s got a gorgeous rooftop so I guess I’ll ignore the fact that there’s a distinct pretentious douchebaggery to it (or is that sandalwood?) and that every guy at the bar is wearing a smaller jean size than me. And, yes, having a rooftop is the only criteria needed for me to get blackout at an establishment. That and $3 cans of Tecate, which they also have in spades. Praise be. My only advice is that you don’t bring your Urban Outfitters Polaroid camera with you when you go. They won’t think you’re being cute or ironic, they’ll just low-key conspire against serving you at the bar. Which I know from absolutely no personal experience. Just saying. You’ve been warned. 

4. The Boat Basin Cafe (UWS)

I know what you’re thinking, The Boat Basin Cafe? Isn’t that, like, upstate? 79th street, but yes, it absolutely is. Just don’t tell the regulars at this bar that, lest you be lectured on the real estate market for park adjacent apartments. But if you’re willing to make the journey have your sanity tested by off-peak hours MTA service, then you should def hit up the this place. Your eyes will one hundred percent be assaulted by a crowd of people in pastels and probs grown men wearing rompers but it’s worth it for the views. The drinks are kind of pricey, but then again can we really put a price on a fire waterfront selfie that will make every boy who follows you on Snapchat jealous? Yes, but only if you’re an ex-Bachelor contestant whoring themselves for Instagram ads.

5. Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden (Astoria)

Speaking of places that are far as shit, Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden is located in Queens, which I’ve only ever been to twice and both times involved a sassy Uber driver and the G train. *shudders*  BUT it’s still a solid choice for those looking to kill their last remaining brain cells over MDW. The indoor section isn’t much to look at, but the outdoor part is ideal for throwing back beers and forgetting that you just aged five years trekking to Queens. Tbh I blacked out the last time I was there (which seems like the point) and I don’t remember much other than that their drunk eats were on point. That feels like reason enough to give this place a(nother) try.

6. Extra Fancy (Williamsburg)

I’ve got two words for you: Frozen. Rosé. ON TAP. And before you start some shit with me about how rosé is on its way out as everyone’s favorite summer beverage, I would just like to say that I will fight this one to the end because anything that’s pink and looks good on my Instagram story will be a drink I choose in this life and every other. Just saying. This place itself is an interesting mix of uptight hipsters and basic bitches like myself who are only there for their Instagram story. That being said, the space is huge and it’s got the whole indoor/outdoor thing going for it in case the weather decides to sabotage your MDW plans by raining. Also, the drinks are v cheap—$8 for a solo cup of frosé (A SOLO CUP) and $5 for draft beer and wine—so it’s the perfect place for day drinking and getting white girl wasted enough to scare the hipsters back to the Bushwick artist dens they crawled out of.

HIPSTER: *tries to sell me on some bullshit about not believing in monogamy or labels*

ME:

7. Pod 39 Rooftop (Murray Hill)

This place is bro-y AF and you know I’m here for it. The vibe is very Cabo with all of its terra cotta columns, Mexican-tiled tables, and a menu full of nothing but tacos, tequila, and bad decisions with a guy who’s tall, dark, and you’re drunk enough for him to be handsome. Also the guy in question is definitely not Mexican but instead someone who says shit like “why can’t they speak just speak the language.” Well we can’t have it all, girls. Aside from the clientele, the view is amazing and the margs are making me want to write a pleasant review on Yelp, which are words I never thought would leave my mouth.

8. The Delancey (LES)

Imagine spending hours willingly ingesting poison Snake Juice, but instead of doing this in some dingy bar with barely any light and vomit lining the bathroom walls where that behavior is socially acceptable *cough* HAIR OF THE DOG *cough* you’re sitting on a rooftop among white chaise lounges and palm trees. It’s a dangerous combination because on the one hand you’re getting fucked up off of Champagne and vodka that costs more than your internet bill, but on the other hand the setting is making you feel more entitled than Paris Hilton in a tracksuit.

^literally me last Saturday

This place is legit ground zero for drunk texting your ex and picking a fight with your bestie in a public bathroom. It’s really quite lovely. Hit this place up Sunday through Thursday from 5-7pm for happy hour and also if you’re feeling like setting fire to your personal life. 

Ever since someone (probably a dude) figured out that drinking fermented yeast makes you feel funny, humanity has been on a noble quest to figure out how to prevent a hangover. Nerds and people who don’t understand the concept of “fun” will tell you that the easiest way to avoid a miserable morning-after is to drink less. Since the very idea of not getting wasted every weekend is unfathomable, the only proper response to this is to point and laugh.

But there’s only so much coconut water and aspirin a betch can take without going crazy, so it’s in your best interest to try to mitigate a hangover before you go out. If you take the following precautions, you might spend only three hours in bed tomorrow morning instead of the usual six. Best of luck, comrades.

1. Alternate Shots & Water

Most betches understand the science of hangovers better than anything they learned in biology class, but in case you missed it, the headache is mostly the result of dehydration. Alternate a shot of alcohol with at least a little water, and you might wake up tomorrow feeling merely gummy instead of like a desiccated corpse. Yes, you’ll be in and out of the bathroom all night, but suck it up and take some drunk selfies while you’re there.

2. Go Easy On Bubbly

According to a decent amount of research, fizzy alcohol gets you drunk faster because carbon dioxide or something. You obviously know your limits, but know that you’ll get lit way too quickly if you accept that offer to do a keg stand with Champagne.

3. Eat Dinner (A Real One)

Eating a legit dinner before you go out seems counterintuitive to me. Why would you eat a bunch of food when it’ll just soak up the alcohol and make it harder to get drunk? Plus, even clear liquors have calories, so you’ll just feel fat. Research shows that food slows the absorption of alcohol, so it’s true that you won’t get drunk as quickly as you would if you skipped dinner.

But getting drunk slower also means you won’t get wasted and puke in someone’s trashcan at the pregame—save that for when you’re rolling up to the club, where it’s totally acceptable to boot and rally (as long as you do so discretely). In the morning, you’ll hate yourself less because you didn’t go full-on blackout, and you won’t wake up starving to death. It’s a win-win.

4. Stock Up On Juice

Alcohol causes wacky blood sugar levels, so keep some juice in the fridge to help it even out in the morning. IMO, you’re totally justified in claiming you’re going on a cleanse this weekend.

5. Stick To Light Liquors

Hangover researchers (aka heroes of the modern age) think that these things called congeners make hangovers worse, and they’re found in dark alcohols like red wine and whiskey. Good thing vodka sodas are already a betchy classic.

6. Take A Vitamin

According to Harvard’s School of Public Health, which probably knows what it’s talking about, alcohol depletes your body of important stuff like vitamins. After work on Friday, run to the store for those Flintstone gummies everyone loves.

7. Get Sleep The Night Before

Half of what makes hangovers so terrible is the sheer exhaustion. Getting legit sleep after a night of drinking is pretty much impossible, but you can at least get enough sleep the night before or nap before going out. Who doesn’t enjoy an excuse to sleep more?

8. Make Brunch Plans

Above all else, make sure you have plans for brunch the next morning. After a few mimosas, you won’t even feel the hangover anymore.