New Year’s Eve is the one night it is socially acceptable to wear head to toe sparkles, and for that one reason only I will be going out. NYE plans are always changing at the last minute (you should see my group chat right now), but no matter what, it’s always a struggle to figure out what to wear. Whether you’re going for something a little more reserved, or all-out glam, you want to look great. I’ve put together three outfits for three different occasions, and of course, they’re all looks for less.
My first look is inspired by Kourtney Kardashian’s birthday dress. Maybe Kourtney will spend this NYE babysitting Sofia Richie? This is the quintessential New Year’s sparkle dress. I found this dress from Get Choosy, which perfectly replicated Kourt’s sexy look. To complete the look, I paired the dress with a simple heel and a hoop earring to, just like Kourtney. Throw on a black fur with this and it’s the perfect New Years Eve party look. The best part about all of this? The dress is only $55.
My next look is perfect if you want something a little flashy, but aren’t feeling the full glitter fantasy. I found this silk mustard dress from Zara, and paired it with thigh-high boots and a sheer bodysuit underneath. This look is great for a nice New Year’s dinner, whether you’re hitting the club after or not. This particular dress is a great purchase, because it can be worn in so many different ways, and this color is also very on trend right now. Full disclosure–I added the slit in this dress, and I think it really makes the look. If you don’t spend a lot of money on something, you don’t feel as bad changing it up!
My third look is for the person who wants to go all out this New Year’s Eve. This set is from Zara but the bodysuit and top can be worn long after the ball drops. This bodysuit is perfect with black pants or jeans if you’re staying low-key but want a pop of sparkle for a fun night out! These pants can also be worn with a simple black top and a chic pair of pumps. The set is perfect together for your over the top NYE glam, but it’s also a good investment piece. This specific set is sold out online, but it is still in stores, and here is a similar look!
If these looks are not your vibe and want to wear all black, I’ve totally been there. To add a little something interesting, here are a pair of statement earrings that will turn your low-key outfit up a notch. New Year’s fashion is all about having fun, so play around with your personal style, and take a risk!
Images: @kourtneykardashian / Instagram; Shutterstock; Alexandra Gordon (3)
It’s only December, and I can already feel my winter weight creeping up on me. I’m sure it doesn’t help that my job’s cafeteria hosts Taco Tuesdays, either. I’d like to say I’m being proactive by running to SoulCycle or eating healthier, but by 1am, I find myself digging through a package of Oreos because salads are fucking disgusting. I can’t even think about the calorie-loaded holiday dinner with the fam and how much my grandma will try to “fatten me up.” I have a tight-ass dress to squeeze into shortly after for NYE. As much as I’d like to give my right arm to be skinny overnight, I’m left with no immediate option other than the dreaded but adored shapewear. It’s such a buzzkill to wear sometimes, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Since it’s literally never to cute to have your shapewear show underneath your dress or have visible thong lines under your leggings, here is cute af shapewear to make you look three pounds thinner.
1. Jewel Toned The Major Mini Dress
Jewel Toned is only a few years old, but the life-changing shapewear and lingerie brand is slowly becoming a game-changer, and more people need to know about it, tbh. From mesh going-out mini skirts to this LBD we can never have too many of, the brand offers a ton of apparel pieces that can basically be worn as your next outfit. Wear this dress alone next time you’re itching for vodka sodas and you won’t have to worry about bloat, awkward panty lines, or feeling like you can’t breathe after 30 minutes. You’ll def have your next Insta flooded with, “OMG, you look sooo good.” I can personally vouch for this as I’ve worn it after eating my weight in pasta and no one suspected a thing.
2. Spanx Essential Leggings
Since we’re all too familiar with the struggle of having to constantly buy high-quality black leggings, these leggings are like your favorite ones, but a million times better. Not only do you not—and I repeat, *not*—have to suck in while wearing, but the purposely structured design makes your butt and legs look as though you’ve done squats for weeks.
3. DKNY Firm Control All-In-One Mesh-Cup Bodysuit
Obviously, we all own a bodysuit by now, regardless of how long it took for us to give into the trend and purchase it. However, more often than not, they usually show our muffin tops and other flaws we desperately try to hide. With this contouring and all-over shaping bodysuit, you’ll look v skinny with perf cleavage and can even pair it with high-waisted jeans and heels for a chic last-minute outfit.
4. Maidenform Light Tummy-Control Comfort Devotion Camisole 2018
At the end of the day, we all need camis. I mean, we can’t just rely on bralettes from Victoria’s Secret if we have like, professional and adult-like activities to tend to. Whether you’re saving it for the summer or need an extra layer under that revealing sweater your HR passive-aggressively gave you shit for, Maidenform’s style is super comfy, breathable, and specifically targets the stomach for a flatter fit. Bless.
5. Bali Sheer Sleek Desire Brief
Because we’re only human, sometimes we need an extra confidence boost before jumping into bed with our next fling. With this basic-yet-totally-hot underwear, you can hide even the smallest of bloats and also make your butt look phenom and contoured. He literally won’t even know it’s “shapewear” (I doubt he knows what that is anyway) and will still find you sexy af.
I used to think that spring was my favorite season because it meant it was finally warm enough to wear something other than sweaters and leggings, but without the humidity that makes my hair frizz. But recently, as I’ve been tearing through as many malls as possible looking for cute spring shit, I’ve realized that it is actually the tackiest season of all. I’m going to go out on a limb here and blame it on the fact that once spring rolls around, stores start trying to sell us fugly clothing covered in lace.
My eyes are already irritated enough from allergies (and I’m in a bad mood because I accidentally rubbed off my winged eyeliner), so the last thing I want to do is pick through a rack of lace overlay eyesores. It’s time for grown-ass betches to quit dressing like doilies and stop trying to make lace happen.
Lace clothing is kind of like the boxed wine of fabrics. Like, it definitely derives from something that was upscale at one point, but is now cheap and makes me want to vom upon first sight. Except the difference is that boxed wine actually has made me physically ill, but I still effing love it. Just like toting a box of Franzia around tells the world that you’re ready to black out, a lace bodycon dress screams “I have ‘classy, but a bit smart-assy’ with the bow emoji in my Instagram bio.”
The worst thing about lace clothing is that it’s always obvious that what you’re wearing probably wasn’t your first choice. Seriously, the only person who actually goes into a store (probably Charlotte Russe) looking for a “cute lace dress” is Tomi Lahren. Every single one of us has found ourselves in a fugly lace shift dress in the fitting room at the Topshop section of Nordstrom the night before an event at least once. It’s always a last cry after you’ve tried on a ton of dresses you actually wanted to wear but didn’t fit, and now your cleavage is semi-visible through a dress that Katherine Heigl might have been forced to wear in 27 Dresses.
The only thing more confusing than lace dresses is lace club wear. Whoever decided it was okay to get drunk and make out with a stranger wearing a bodysuit made from their grandmother’s tablecloth was seriously disturbed. It was probably initially an attempt to appear as if one is wearing as little clothing as possible while still actually wearing clothing, but now that the Kardashians rule the world, you can just wear a bra as a top and nobody will question you. There is literally no reason for this shit:
I guess my point is, stop wearing clothing that is made out of the same material as all of your underwear in an attempt to look classy. It’s 2017 and everyone can see your Snapchat stories. The gig is up.
Spring cleaning is the one time a year you’re allowed to put your shit in garbage bags without looking as trashy as Angelina moving into the Jersey Shore house. In fact, I’d even go as far to say that you’re not just allowed to do it, but encouraged. Especially if you have any of these things hanging out in your closet. Here are a few heinous items you should purge from your wardrobe during spring cleaning and what to replace them with instead.
1. Anything With Mesh Paneling
We live in an advanced society where there are approximately three billion ways to make your boobs look good, so there’s no reason to keep anything with poorly designed mesh paneling for cleavage-related purposes. You should have left that bodycon with a mesh v-neck on the floor of that frat guy’s room in 2013, so there’s really no excuse to still be holding onto it now.
Go all out and replace it with something that’s mesh all over, like a full mesh bodysuit.
Line & Dot Rima top
2. Ugly Cotton Maxi Skirts
There is literally not one flattering thing about a cheap cotton maxi skirt, yet every Saturday night, girls in clubs across America are raising their vodka crans, trying to make it happen. Like, congratulations. You’ve found a way to expose both kneecaps in something floor length. Throw it out.
However, a maxi skirt done properly can still give you total a total Jessa Johansson “I just bathed in the stream and then I ran through the field to dry off” vibe.
Soprano wrap skirt
A long wrap skirt is such a step up. Just do not wear this to the club—that should be obvious but in times like these, I’ve got to take every precaution.
3. Caged Necklines
I’m not even throwing shade here, but I’m actually pretty certain that caged necklines were designed for flat-chested betches because they’re the only ones who can pull this off. However, this look is awful, so they shouldn’t even bother.
If you’re a betch with a B cup or lower, you can rock anything with a high neck and look amazing. Swap your creepy caged neckline out for literally any other high-neck bodycon.
Pretty Little Things Aniqah white high neck split detail bodycon dress
4. Dumb Bodysuits Like This One
I guess there’s nothing like, offensively wrong about wearing one of these, they’ve just kind of run their course. It’s kind of like how college couples always break up during the beginning of senior year. It’s not necessarily the worst thing ever, but it’s time to see what’s out there while you’re still hot enough to pull of a bodysuit.
This off-the-shoulder bodysuit is probably going to be the basic betch’s go-to top when invited to drink on a week night at the last minute.
Missguided petite scuba bardot bodysuit
5. Crop Tops With Weird Cutouts
“Damn, look at that one inch of exposed skin on that girl’s torso,” said nobody, ever. Crop tops with weird cutouts are pointless.
If you feel that you like, absolutely need an additional tiny strip of fabric on your crop top, at least go with something that has a tie or some sort of purpose. (And now I have Justin Bieber singing “Purpose” stuck in my head, which I’m so not mad about.)
Missguided white tie front crop top