There are definitely good things that come along with being famous, but attention doesn’t always make life easier. Case in point: celebrities are like, constantly falling victim to robberies, presumably because everyone knows they have nice things. Yesterday, it was reported that Harry Styles was mugged at knifepoint in London, close to midnight on Valentine’s Day. According to the police report about the incident, he handed over some cash and came away unharmed, but it’s terrifying nonetheless. I’ve never been mugged, and I hope to keep it that way *knocks on wood*, but this situation at least makes me feel good about my lifestyle of literally never carrying cash.
Sadly, Harry Styles is far from the first famous person to fall victim to robberies over the years, and some of the stories are really crazy. Let’s revisit some of the most interesting celebrity robberies, because chances are you forgot some important details.
Kim Kardashian
We all remember the time that Kim Kardashian got robbed in Paris, but the details of the robbery are seriously dark. In October 2016, Kim was in Paris for Fashion Week when five men dressed as police officers broke into her hotel room, bound and gagged her, put her in the bathtub, and escaped with over $10 million worth of jewelry. Kim has recalled “begging for her life” in that moment, and I honestly can’t imagine going through something so traumatic.
At the time, there was tabloid speculation that Kim staged the robbery for attention (which she later sued over), but I have to ask—how could Kim Kardashian really want more attention? Like, is there anyone on the planet that gets more attention than Kimberly Kardashian? Also, she’s never gotten any of the stolen jewelry back, including her ~$4 million engagement ring. Yeah, I don’t think she’s that desperate for attention.
The Bling Ring
Also known as the Hollywood Hills Burglars, the Bling Ring were a group of teenagers who broke into numerous celebrity homes in 2008 and 2009, stealing millions of dollars worth of luxury goods. The group hit stars like Audrina Patridge, Lindsay Lohan, and Orlando Bloom, and all told, broke into over 50 homes. Their biggest target was Paris Hilton, whose house they broke into numerous times, and she had so much stuff, she didn’t even realize she was being robbed at first.
The Bling Ring has since become an iconic pop culture moment—Sofia Coppola made a movie called The Bling Ring in 2013, which is pretty fun, and contains Emma Watson making her best attempt at a Valley girl accent. But more importantly, this whole sh*t show gave us the most iconic reality TV show moment during Pretty Wild, which is an amazing document of this time in history when people still wanted to date Ryan Cabrera. Thank god for this show, because it gave us the phone call—you know what I’m talking about. Alexis Neiers, you’re a real one.
The Bling Ring 2.0
Any good crime inspires copycat crimes, and in 2018, there was a new string of Hollywood burglaries that low-key put the OG Bling Ring kids to shame. Instead of a bunch of rando teenagers, these robberies were done by a group of 13 gang members, and most of them were armed. Over the course of a year, they first started robbing CEOs and businesspeople whose homes had been profiled in magazines, then moved on to celebs like Rihanna, Christina Milian, Chief Keef, and NFL player Robert Woods, among many others. At the time they got caught, their list of planned targets was made up of A-listers such as Viola Davis, LeBron James, and Matt Damon—I guess everyone wants to dream big.
Lupita Nyong’o
Lupita Nyong’o mostly stays out of the public eye aside from when she’s doing promo for a movie, but in 2015, her name got launched into the press for reasons completely out of her control. At the 2015 Oscars, she wore a Calvin Klein dress that was covered in more than 6,000 pearls. It was extra AF, and I loved it. Obviously, dresses covered in pearls don’t come cheap, and this one was reportedly worth around $150,000. That’s why it was, um, kind of a big deal when, later that week, Lupita returned to her Hollywood hotel room and the dress had mysteriously disappeared.
The plot thickened later that week, when the dress was found dumped in a bathroom at the very same hotel. The thief, who was never caught, wrote that he returned the dress upon figuring out that the pearls were actually fake. LMAO. As sh*tty as it was to take the dress in the first place, I kind of love how this ended. Like, never mind, keep your dumb dress, I didn’t even like it that much to begin with. We love a burglar with standards.
Cara Delevingne
If you pay attention to the entertainment world, you know that the Cannes Film Festival is the prime time of the year for famous people to show up and show OUT. We’re talking big gowns, amazing glam, and an intense amount of priceless jewelry. During the 2013 festival, things went awry when a safe containing over a million dollars worth of Chopard jewelry was taken from a hotel room. The jewels in question were to be worn by Cara Delevingne on the red carpet, so I really hope she found another necklace to go with her dress.
Fun fact: The robbery occurred in the evening, while a little movie called The Bling Ring was having its premiere at Cannes. If you’re gonna steal someone’s jewelry, at least do it in an ironic way.
Are there other celeb robberies that stick out in your memory? Obviously there’s no such thing as a chill robbery, but these are definitely some of the craziest ones.
Images: Jim Dyson/Getty Images; Giphy
It’s been a big year for Lindsay Lohan. She opened her beach clubs in Mykonos and Rhodes, and is supposed to be getting a new reality show sometime soon. I’m not sure whether I love her or hate her at this point, but I’m still fascinated no matter what. For the past few months, she’s basically just been hanging out in Mykonos, posing for pictures with famous people and randos that come to her club. Her mom came to visit, as did my favorite Trump child, Tiffany. But a few days ago, I saw a photo that really made me feel nostalgic. Lindsay was hanging out with Nico Tortorella, one of the names on Lindsay’s infamous “f*ck list.”
If you don’t know about the f*ck list, prepare to have your mind blown. Back in 2014, Lindsay was staying at the Beverly Hilton Hotel with her friends. For reasons unknown, Lindsay filled out a literal Scattergories playing cards with 36 names of people, all of whom it’s assumed she slept with at some point. There are a few names that have always remained blurred out in the photos, but there’s still a ton of material here. Let’s walk down memory list, and check in on some of the greatest hits of Lindsay Lohan’s f*ck list.
Nico Tortorella
Nico Tortorella (who uses neutral pronouns) definitely isn’t the most famous person on the list, but they’re one of the most interesting. Also, they’re probably one of the few that she actually keeps in touch with. This is just a guess, but I’m pretty sure Zac Efron isn’t texting LiLo on the reg. Nico has been in lots of random TV shows and movies, but they’re best known for playing Josh on Younger. Nico is married to Bethany Meyers, and they’re both queer and hot and very into expressing themselves. Lindsay and Nico have been friends since at least 2011, and he even proposed to her as a joke one time. Glad they’re still friends—Lindsay needs some people in her life who aren’t Russian oligarchs.
Jamie Dornan
I gotta say, Lindsay really got in early on this one. Way back in 2006, she and Jamie were rumored to have a fling, but it didn’t really lead anywhere. That was the same year that Jamie had his first movie role, and it was a full nine years before Fifty Shades of Grey came out. I’m pretty sure this means that Jamie Dornan owes his entire career to Lindsay Lohan? Maybe I just need to sleep with Lindsay too, and then my life will stop being a mess.
Justin Timberlake
I must admit, I had truly forgotten about this one. It’s wild to think back to a time when Lindsay Lohan and Justin Timberlake would have been at the same parties. It’s a little unclear exactly when and how this happened, but there is one plausible theory. In 2009, they were allegedly at the same club in New York, and then later Lindsay tweeted (then deleted) “where’s jb cheater?” Speculation is that “jb” could be Jessica Biel, and I’m just thoroughly confused. There’s a 99% chance JT has Lindsay’s number blocked.
Ashton Kutcher & Wilmer Valderrama
Hooking up with both of the hot guys from That ’70s Show is really a classic LiLo move. It’s a known fact that Lindsay dated Wilmer way back in 2004, when she was just 18 years old. Lindsay most likely got with Ashton in 2006, shortly before he started dating Demi Moore. That truly feels like a lifetime ago. Do we think Wilmer was mad at Ashton for sleeping with Lindsay? Bless this mess.
Orlando Bloom
The only known connection between Lindsay and Orlando is that they were both robbed by the Bling Ring. Wow, I really miss 2000s Hollywood. They were both robbed in the summer of 2009, and Lindsay was the last victim before they were arrested. At the time, Orlando was living with Miranda Kerr, but maybe he and Lindsay bonded over their lost stuff? Idk, they also could’ve had sex at literally any other time within the last 15 years. Fun fact: Orlando is a Buddhist, so I feel like he might vibe well with Lindsay’s spiritual energy.
Riley S/Riley G
One of the most random, not famous inclusions on Lindsay’s list is also a personal favorite of mine. The evidence points to this being Riley Giles, a snowboarder who Lindsay met in 2007 in rehab. They apparently dated for a while, and then Riley did some tell-all interviews after they broke up. Cute, I’m sure she appreciated it. Riley said that Lindsay “quit coke and got hooked on sex with me,” and I just threw up in my mouth a little. He called her a “nymphomaniac,” and said they escaped rehab and went to a mountain cabin, where they went at it “like rabbits.” Okay, I hate Riley.
Stavros Niarchos III
Ah yes, Stavros. He’s the heir to a massive shipping fortune, and naturally that’s always made him desirable boyfriend material. In the mid-2000s, he was dating Paris Hilton, and Lindsay allegedly tried to move in on Paris’ territory. It was always rumored that this was the reason Lindsay and Paris stopped being friends, even though Lindsay claimed that’s false. More recently, Stavros has been seeing Dasha Zhukova, which makes a lot of sense. Dasha is a Russian businesswoman who was previously married to Roman Abramovich, a Russian oligarch who’s worth $11 billion. Dasha is clearly good at following the money, and I applaud her. She and Stavros both have private Instagrams with less than 1,000 followers, which is a total power move.
All The Rest
There are a lot more famous names on the f*ck list, so we could be here for days. Highlights include Zac Efron (Lindsay spelled both his first and last name wrong), Joaquin Phoenix, Adam Levine, Heath Ledger, James Franco, and Benicio del Toro. Someday, I really hope Lindsay writes a book in which she explains each and every one of these encounters, but that would probably result in approximately 10,000 lawsuits. I’m also very curious to know who’s been added to the list since 2014, because I bet there are some really interesting artistic choices. Thanks for all the great memories Lindsay, please never change.
Images: @trackers88 / Instagram; @nicotortorella / Instagram; Giphy (2)
