I really never anticipated that I would be thinking about the Jonas Brothers this much in 2019, but life is crazy sometimes. Obviously, everyone was losing their minds when they released their comeback single “Sucker,” but things aren’t slowing down. Just in the past 24 hours, they announced their first tour in nearly a decade, performed at the Billboard Music Awards, and had a wedding. That’s right, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner tied the knot last night in Las Vegas, after attending the BBMAs together. We’ve got the Game of Thrones predictions on lock this season, but this was one plot twist we definitely didn’t see coming.
Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have been together since late 2016, and they first announced their engagement in October of 2017. That’s a pretty long engagement, but we had no idea when the wedding was coming. This honestly makes sense, because Sophie Turner seems like one of the chillest people in Hollywood. She’s quickly become one of my favorite people, thanks to her DGAF attitude on social media, and this legendary chug seen around the world:
Sansa can hang. The details of Sophie and Joe’s low-key Vegas wedding are pretty amazing, especially considering this is less than six months after Joe’s brother Nick Jonas married Priyanka Chopra in one of the most extra weddings the world has ever seen. But to each their own, and Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner just wanted a Vegas wedding officiated by an Elvis impersonator. Works for me. There definitely wasn’t a People exclusive for this wedding, but luckily Instagram still gave us a closer look at this sacred occasion. Specifically, Diplo documented much of the evening on his IG Story, before he left for his DJ set at a club. Diplo, an ultimate icon.
Looks like Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas are getting married!! pic.twitter.com/zSW17g5cHC
— Myeisha Essex (@MyeishaEssex) May 2, 2019
At the ceremony, country duo Dan + Shay performed an acoustic version of their song “Speechless,” because casual. I would’ve preferred an acoustic rendition of “Tequila,” but for some reason no one consulted me on the music choice. Rude. In the video, you can see Sophie and Joe exchange Ring Pops, and honestly this is the kind of beautiful wedding tradition I’m here for. Who needs diamonds when you can have delicious candy?
It’s unclear if Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner will have any kind of a bigger wedding celebration, but this intimate, random ceremony feels pretty appropriate for such a fun couple. At the very least, I hope they have time for a kickass honeymoon before Joe gets busy with tour rehearsals. Wherever they go, I just hope that Sophie doesn’t forget to post hilarious Instagram stories while they’re there. Her stories are basically the only thing getting me through at this point, so I need this. Sansa Stark might not be one of the G0T characters with big d*ck energy, but Sophie definitely does.
Sadly, this means that all three of the Jonas Brothers are officially off the market, closing an important (imaginary) chapter of my life that started when I was in middle school. Kevin, Joe, Nick, I’ll always love you guys. Well, Kevin not so much, but it felt rude to leave him out. Now, if you want to bag a Jonas brother, your only hope is 18-year-old Frankie, also known as the Bonus Jonas. Ew. Congrats to Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, I feel like a proud parent.
Images: @betches, @sophiet / Instagram; @MyeishaEssex / Twitter
Let’s be real, usually my reaction to rich AF celebrities in sparkles at ceremonies honoring their own accomplishments trying to make edgy political statements is a heavy eye roll. But last night, while hosting the Billboard Music Awards, Kelly Clarkson brought so much unfiltered realness to her opening speech that I’m crying and you all should be too. Commenting on the recent school shooting at Sante Fe High school in Texas that left ten people dead and ten wounded, Clarkson fought off tears as she begged for something to finally be done.
Clarkson began her speech by throwing some slight shade at how the producers suggested she handle the tragedy, saying, “They also wanted me to do a moment of silence. And I’m so sick of moments of silence. It’s not working.” Wait, what? Thoughts and prayers and moments of silence don’t change how guns are destroying our country? Huh. Guess we’ve been doing something wrong…
The mother of four and native Texan continued, “Why don’t we not do a moment of silence, why don’t we do a moment of action?” Bringing it full circle to all of the most recent gun tragedies, Clarkson reminded parents that we should be able to send our children to, “school, to church, to movie theaters, and to clubs,” without fear.
“We’re failing our children, we’re failing our communities, we’re failing their families,” she pleaded. And she’s right as hell.
Honestly the more I watch this speech the more impressed I am with how brave it is. A moment of silence is safe. It doesn’t offend anyone, it doesn’t make a statement. She could’ve just moved onto the dresses, songs and Taylor Swift drama and called it a successful night. A call to action divides, but sometimes it takes a divide to conquer.
It’s good to know we’ve still got the real American Idol.
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