Haps Birthday, Libra betch! Now that it’s officially your time to shine, the other signs also reap the benefits of the good-natured Libra spirit. We can all treat ourselves a little bit better. Maybe you need to forgive yourself for a relationship transgression that happened while the Sun was in Virgo. Maybe you need to be kinder to your liver by, like, actually drinking water and, no, the ice in your cocktail doesn’t count. Anyway, here are your weekly horoscopes for September 24-28:
The Full Moon is in your sign to start the week. That means things can feel a little intense for you, especially at work. The Moon squaring up with Saturn in your career house means you might question whether you’re on the right path. Bumping heads with authority figures at this time is also probable. So, like, remember your reusable mug for your coffee so when you’re late to work, your boss doesn’t automatically know it’s because you knew you were going to be late and stopped at Starbucks anyway.
This week, the position of Mars can bring a lot of uncertainty in life. Does he like me? Did I pick the right major? Do I spend too much of my time reading recaps of television shows I already watched? You might not find answers to those burning questions by the end of the week. Just accept that not knowing is part of life. Live in the uncertain, you nosy betch.
With the Sun now in Libra, your two sides are ready to find some balance. Find relief in knowing you probably won’t feel like you’re being pulled in two opposite directions all month. You might be able to stick to a workout regimen since your lazy side will just give up on fighting it. I mean, it’s more likely that you just accept you’re a lazy POS who pays to never go to the gym, but at least you’ll come to terms with that. This week is all about inner peace. Namaste.
The Full Moon in Aries energizes you to make your mark on the world. You’re passionate. You’re public. You’re going after what you want. You’re the betch that’s too busy calling her senator about the Brett Kavanaugh hearings to respond to the text from the guy who left you on read all last week. You know what? This is actually the better version of you. Keep not texting that guy back.
It’s time for you to take a step out of the spotlight for a little bit. With the Sun in Libra, you’re motivated to pamper yourself and rejuvenate your spirit before really getting back into it to crush the end of the calendar year. This is the week to finally use that nine dollar bath bomb you’ve been saving for so long that it probably doesn’t even fizz anymore.
The Sun and Mercury are in your money house starting this week. Even though your birthday month is over, the planets continue to bless you with opportunities to impress your bosses, professors, and, like, anyone with some power over you. This is the week to ask for too much vacation time over the holidays and also probably a raise while you’re at it. You’re a valuable member of every team you’re on. Don’t let anyone, especially your boss, forget it.
The Full Moon in Aries energizes your partnership zone. This is really the week of all weeks to examine your relationship status and if you’re getting what you want out of whatever you call what you’re in. Start your personal year off on the right foot checking in on your feelings and checking out on dating f*ckboys.
It’s been kind of hard for you to fall back into a routine now that summer is over. You, like, so totally still have summer brain. This week, though, the planets align in just the right way for you to get your sh*t back together. This is the week you stop forgetting about assignments and maybe answer an email or two in a timely manner. Whoa, things are really getting wild.
The Full Moon at the beginning of the week is honestly going to be a little stressful for you. It’s going to illuminate some feelings you didn’t know you had. It’s also going to bring some issues to light you’d rather keep hidden. Maybe see a therapist before these feelings manifest into a total freakout/break down or, worse, a really poorly thought-out Halloween costume.
Mars controls your situation with your family and home. Now that Mars is moving out of bounds this week, arguments and passive-aggressive stalemates will come to an end. Weird sh*t with your family or roommates will work itself out. So that’s good! This could be the week that you get your roommate to finally wash that bowl of mac and cheese that’s been sitting in the sink. Probably not, though.
Since the Sun has moved from Virgo to Libra, your focus now shifts from work to romance. Charli XCX’s “Boys” could be your theme song this week. Your coworkers will definitely catch you on Hinge at the office. Also, be aware of where you’re taking those flirty Snapchat selfies. Your boss doesn’t need to see you adjust yourself for the perfect amount of photo-ready cleavage.
The Full Moon in Aries makes you industrious and prosperous this week. If you’ve been looking for a money-making opportunity, this might be the time it falls in your lap. Your Pisces-level patience pays off. Maybe collecting all those crystals has now made you an expert in balancing Chakras or some sh*t. IDK what that means, but if you can use your mystical skills to scam some idiots out of money, you totally need to do that.
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