If you were looking for an excuse to skip work this week, maybe the planets can help out. It’s probably a better mental exercise to throw out your phone, stop looking at the internet, and just sit quietly on your patio until everyone wears a mask, Trump stops tweeting and the Karens of the world crawl back into their Live Laugh Love-adorned homes. If that isn’t an option, though, and you still need to pretend to be a functioning member of society, allow the universe to provide some vague clues as to what’s in store.

Cancer

Get ready for the emo feels, Cancer. The moon, your ruler, is taking you on a rollercoaster of emotions this week, so get ready to overreact to everything. Pizza didn’t reheat correctly? Breakdown. Boss unknowingly unmuted you while you farted on that Zoom call? Instant tears. Mom not answering your call while you’re bored? Anxiety attack. Oh, and be careful toward Thursday and Friday, when you’re likely to come THIIIIS close to telling your director to shove it.

Leo

The sun is making your work-life mental balance a breeze this week, Leo. Take the opportunity and tackle a work project and home DIY project that’s been sitting on your to-do list for like, a while. If work takes the wind out of your sails by Tuesday, though, it’s okay to be a little less gung-ho and tackle something easier, like making dinner for yourself instead of ordering out again. Regardless, the planets will def be on your side.

Virgo

It’s all about learning this week, Virgo. Your work life may benefit from your need to soak up awesomeness and new skills this week, so make sure you’re reminding everyone what a valuable asset you are to the team. It could be as simple as learning how to Photoshop better or as difficult as mastering crystal reporting in Excel. Whatever the case, you’ll sail through this week ready to celebrate how great you are by the weekend.

Libra

The moon and Venus are in the perfect place for you to push boundaries this week, Libra, but less in a rock-the-boat way and more in a happy adventure sort of way. Like, it could be a great week to talk up your latest project with your boss and be rewarded because of it (maybe even with money!). It could also be a great opportunity to challenge your partner to try that new, kinda weird thing in bed. Sure, it’s a Wednesday night and he might be tired, but I’m pretty sure if you couch it the right way, safely exploring new frontiers shouldn’t be a hard sell.

Scorpio

It may be an emotionally tense week, Scorpio. Relationships may feel confusing and murky, so don’t feel bad if you and your S.O. are clashing more than usual. Like, should you have a screaming match over dishes in the sink or finding dirty, crusty socks in the couch? No, but the planets make us do weird sh*t sometimes.

Sagittarius

Money is on the horizon this week, Sagittarius, so it’s a great time to get your spending under control and your budget in order. Try to focus on the future, and not on things you think you want right now. The end of the week will put the onus on your relationships, so get ready to feel extra connected to your loved ones (even if you can’t see them IRL ATM).

Capricorn

You’re going to feel a pull to get serious this week, Capricorn. It could be about your future, about a relationship, or about your career. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to speak your mind and ask for what you want. Time that sh*t for the end of the week, though, because the moon is being a non-communicative asshole before then. F*cking planets.

Aquarius

Give in to the romance this week, Aquarius. Normally, the workweek doesn’t feel like the ideal time to explore intimacy, but Venus will be all about it Monday through Friday. Take time for some stimulating convos, indulging in sh*t you both enjoy, and lots of sexy time. If you’re single, use this week to explore what you’re truly looking for in a relationship. Sounds crazy, but actually understanding what you want may save you a lot of time, heartache, and sh*tty dates.

Pisces

It’s all about the warm and fuzzies this week, Pisces. FaceTime your mom and recount all of your fav old family stories, or fire up the grill with dad via Zoom so he can yell at you for flipping the burgers one too many times. Connecting with those closest to you will leave you feeling refreshed and renewed as you head into the weekend.

Aries

Rewards may be on the horizon, Aries. Lean in and make the most of it, and by that we mean once your boss says “good job on that PowerPoint/staying awake on that Zoom call/putting on pants for work today,” it’s time to treat yourself with an after-office-hours margarita and some terrible TV. You earned it.

Taurus

The moon and Uranus are all like, “switch it up, Taurus.” And you’re all like, “meh.” But, if you want this week to be productive, change up your routine a little. Maybe instead of hitting snooze four times before rolling into the ol’ home office, get up early two of five days for morning yoga or jogging. Or just try it once and tell everyone about it. Toward the end of the week, your foray into changing things up could actually give your romantic life a boost, too.

Gemini

The COVID times have made it difficult to connect with your loved ones, Gemini, but this week you’ll feel more at peace with the current state of sh*t than usual. It could be a call with your mom or a beer with a sibling that helps break up the monotony. Whatever the case, use the emotional boost from your fam to push through and get to the f*cking weekend.

Images: Giphy (12)

Welcome to Cancer season! Being that Cancer is the emo kid of the zodiac, don’t be surprised if you spend the next month fighting the urge to bust out the guitar and scream-sing about the one that got away. This hyper-sensitive time is perfect for examining yourself and your relationships, even if that means reactivating your LiveJournal and revisiting all your old bad poetry.

Aries

This Cancer season will be all about finding stability for you, Aries. Chances are there have been some destabilizing forces in your life lately (Miss Corona…I’m looking at you), but now is the time to get yourself back on solid footing. Or at least, semi-solid footing. Like, not quicksand.

Taurus

If you’ve been ceding control to your partner on hard choices lately, that ends now, as Cancer season is giving you the strength you need to put your foot down. Yes, sometimes it is easier to just roll over and let your significant other put up their college Pink Floyd lady butts poster in your shared living space even though it reminds you of stale bong water, but some things are worth fighting for.

Gemini

That conflict you’ve been avoiding? Yeah, that’s bubbling back up. Hard. You may have been hoping someone else would fight this battle for you, but it looks like you’re gonna have to take this fight into your own hands like a millennial Fa Mulan. Now go! Bring honor to your family!

Cancer

This is your season, baby, so get ready for a journey. Your emotional strength is at an all time high, so don’t be surprised if this birthday month you’re given the gift of major personal breakthroughs. And hopefully like, some AirPods or some sh*t too.

Leo

Anything you need to apologize for, Leo? You sure? Cancer season might put some past bad behavior into perspective, making you realize an apology is in order. And I mean a real one, not the Notes app kind. Remember, it’s never too late to say “I’m sorry for laughing the time you got diarrhea at Barnes and Noble and I’m sorry for telling everyone about it and I’m sorry for repeating it now.”

Virgo

Cancer season has you craving your crew, which means a socially distant and CDC compliant hang out is in order! Grab some to-go beers and meet up at a local outdoor location (or restaurant with outdoor seating depending on where you live!). And if that’s not an option for you just yet, there’s always Zoom. Good old Zoom…

Libra

While Cancer season is making everyone else relationship crazy, it’s asking you to do the opposite. It’s time to pull focus from your love live and move it to something else. Maybe there’s a project at work that could use the attention you’ve been devoting to deep stalking the girl your crush is quarantining with at the moment. (Hint: that’s his cousin Amanda.)

Scorpio

Time to finally take Lizzo’s advice and stop settling for people who don’t know your worth! Cancer season is all about connecting with yourself and realizing the badassness of you. It’s also about cutting loose anyone who hasn’t gotten the memo. How can you find Mr. Right if your DMs are clogged with a million Mr. Wrongs?

Sagittarius

Boundaries…have you heard of them? If the lines have been blurred in quarantine, it’s time to reassert your independence. Or at least, try to curb some of that codependence. Not saying you have to go back to holding in your farts in front of each other (impossible at this point) but maybe sparing your partner every detail of your quarantine toe fungus could help bring back the romantic allure.

Capricorn

If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines waiting for your crush to come to you, now is the time to make the first move. You usually like to be the one that is chased, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way and you’re lonely af right now so why not say f*ck it and slide into those DMs? The worst that can happen is they don’t answer you, and then you can just delete the message and mute them as if they never existed.

Aquarius

Is there a burned bridge weighing on your conscience? Cancer season could be the perfect time to repair it. Remember, Aquarius, it’s okay to admit when you’ve f*cked up. Even if that means admitting you’re the one who lost your sister’s chocolate Uggs twelve years ago.

Pisces

An old flame might pop back into your life in an unexpected way this Cancer season, but be sure to check in with yourself before responding. Is this someone you really want to reconnect with, or are you just on one of the “nostalgic” days of your menstrual cycle? It’s always okay to leave someone on read while you figure your own feelings out. Especially an ex.

Images: Giphy (12)

Welp. It’s here. Mercury will be going into retrograde this Thursday, and staying there until July 12th, meaning we’ve got a month of f*cked up communications and technical issues ahead of us. Lol at you for thinking you’d finally gotten the hang of hosting your own Zoom meetings. You know what they say: man plans, Zoom laughs.

Aries

You’re finishing off Gemini season strong with some serious mood swings. How festive. Feeling sad or stressed? Wait an hour. Feeling insanely pissed off for no reason? Have a snack and check again. This week you’ll be embracing the twin energy by changing your mind abruptly and often. TL;DR: Save the drastic hair decisions for another time.

Taurus

Got some important emails to send this week? Might wanna read those over again… and then again for good measure. With Mercury in its hot mess phase, communication can be tough, especially when that communication is via the interwebs. Ultimately, now might be a good time to take that social media break you’ve been talking about for the past seven years.

Gemini

Hope you didn’t spend all those birthday checks at once, because with a retrograde Mercury in your house of money, you’re gonna want a little more in savings. Don’t panic—it’s not because you’re cruising for a financial crisis. Mercury retrograde just has you appreciating the stability of a solid nest egg that’s accruing interest. In other words, you’ve officially turned into your parents. Congrats.

Cancer

With Cancer season right around the corner, it’s important that you not let other people’s mess dull your shine. It’s your birthday month, goddammit! Now is not the time to take a back seat or to let others put their name on your work. Now is the time to let people know that, despite all that’s going on, you’re still finding ways to thrive. (Even if your mask-related acne is out of control right now.)

Leo

Your Mercury retrograde motto: less is more. Use Mercury’s backpedal as a cosmic symbol to slow sh*t down and take it easy, Leo. Lean into the lazy summer vibes and leave the work and stress for the hours between 9 and 5. This week, as soon as the workday is done, it’s Do Not Disturb on, pants off. That’s an order.

Virgo

Mercury has you feeling some type of way, and now you’re in for an emotional week. See a dog? Cry. Think about your mom? Cry. Realize you haven’t cried in a long time? Full f*cking sob. Embrace it. It’s okay to be raw and emotional sometimes, even though your sign typically prides itself on keeping it together. This week, let the emotions flow, and let your friends be the ones comforting you for a change.

Libra

Feeling in a rut lately, Libra? Mercury retrograde is the perfect time to change things up. Rethink your strategies, revise your plans, and get to work. This is the perfect time to take a step back and see if the big picture has changed. Chances are with the whole global pandemic and historic civil unrest thing, it has.

Scorpio

TMI alert! Your gauge of what is or is not okay to say is way, way off. Be careful what you share this week, especially on social media. Not everyone needs to know all the details of your sexual awakening via Hulu’s Normal People. We’re happy for you, but please stop.

Sagittarius

Mercury retrograde doesn’t always have to mean something bad. Sometimes it can mean… romance! Pay attention to your attractions during this period, as they could lead to an even deeper connection, maybe with someone you hadn’t noticed before. And hey, after three months of social distancing, we know you need it.

Capricorn

Beware, Capricorn. With Mercury retrograde in your house of partnerships, you could end up hurting someone with an offhand comment or momentary lapse in judgment. Be particularly careful with sensitive subject matters this week, as you could end up misunderstood, and then the argument spirals and suddenly you’re arguing about a text neither of you can exactly remember from the year 2013.

Aquarius

Time to take a whole host of steps back, Aquarius. This retrograde, your assignment is to take a look at your life. Is there something you’ve been neglecting that is actually screaming for your attention ASAP? Chances are you already know what it is, you just don’t want to admit it because then you’d have to do something. Do it. Delete the number.

Pisces

Just as Mercury is popping into retrograde, people from your past might start popping back into your life. But remember, just because someone wants your attention doesn’t mean you have to give it to them. Check in with yourself before agreeing to any catch up conversations, and feel free to leave people on read as needed.

Images: Giphy (12)

Welcome to Mars in Pisces! This week, we’ll all be enjoying dreamy, creative Pisces energy. This week will be about following your intuition, going with the flow, and the occasional wine-fueled cry sesh. And by occasional I mean daily. Look, we’re all just doing the best we can right now, so let it out. No judgment.

Aries

With your ruling planet in Pisces, things are about to get dreamy. And we mean that literally. You may notice more vivid dreams this week (both the day and night varieties) as Mars chills out in this inquisitive sign. So like, if you haven’t already gotten the quarantine dream journal started, now is the time. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.

Taurus

Mars in Pisces has you wanting to get out there and make new connections, but how do you do that when “out there” is full of infectious disease and all potential new friends have to stay six feet away? Go back through your rolodex and connect with with an old pal, or join an online community around something you already like. That way you can stop texting “I’m bored” to the same five people over and over.

Gemini

With Mars in Pisces, you’re feeling motivated to get out of your comfort zone and try new things, particularly with regards to your career or field. Pisces is an extremely intuitive sign, so go with your gut when it comes to shaking up your routine, trying a new approach with your boss, or finding new ways to relate to your coworkers. And yes, this does also mean that the GIFs you send in the company Slack will be particularly inspired.

Cancer

Mars in Pisces is pushing you to explore more and broaden those horizons, but that doesn’t mean now is the time to say YOLO and start licking subway poles (there is never a time for that). Now is the perfect time to learn something new, whether it be by signing up for an online course, or finally embarking on your journey to plant motherhood. Try not to kill all your children!

Leo

You’ve been losing your fucking mind trying to figure out where to direct your quarantine energy, but Mars in Pisces is here to say, “It’s Pinterest time, baby!” You’re feeling in touch with your artistic side this week, so find a creative outlet to really pour all your energy into and watch as the quarantine hours start flying by! Just in time for states to start reopening again…

Virgo

This week has you focused on your relationship status, Virgo, and Mars in Pisces is giving you the confidence you need to speak your mind and get things on the right track. What you really want out of a relationship will start coming into focus, and you’ll finally be able to answer one of the most pressing questions of the modern era: is he the one, or is he just the one who is stuck in my apartment with me right now?

Libra

Health and fitness routines slacking under quarantine? Same girl, same. This week, expect wellness routines to come back into your life in unexpected ways. No, you won’t get the sudden urge to sign up for a 6am HIIT class, but you might find yourself taking longer socially distant walks than normal, or starting impromptu dance parties with your roommates. You might even find yourself doing the impossible: craving vegetables over pizza rolls.

Scorpio

Spring fever is hitting you hard, Scorpio. Normally you’d be out on the town flirting with anyone that has a name, but in light of the current situation that is probably not possible. No worries! Fire up the old apps and let yourself start as many conversations as possible, knowing full well they will never amount to anything. So like, how most men already acted during normal times.

Sagittarius

Mars in Pisces will be lighting up your desire to stay the f*ck indoors, which is helpful but like… could you not have done this three weeks ago? Would have been helpful. Make the most of this astrological stay at home order by upgrading chez Sagittarius in whatever way is available to you. That could mean filling your Wayfair cart with abandon, or rearranging the sh*t you already have. Moving your bed to the other wall is 100% free (even if you do ultimately decide to move it back two days later.)

Capricorn

Don’t fight the urge to reach out to old pals or a neglected family member this week, Capricorn, as Mars in Pisces has you in the mood for a little TBT energy. This week will be all about reconnection for you, and as group Zooms start getting more and more niche (McKinley Middle School Bus 3 whaddup?!?), you shouldn’t feel shy reaching out to your old college roommate or hometown friend. And as an added bonus you can both talk sh*t about the girl you know who’s clearly not social distancing on Instagram.

Aquarius

While Mars in Pisces is turning most people into hippies, you were already a hippie, so it’s having the opposite effect. Funny how the universe works like that, eh? If you’ve been struggling for a little discipline, it’ll come roaring back this week as you’ll find the motivation to set the alarm a little bit earlier, or actually make the Zoom pilates class your sister keeps bugging you about.

Pisces

Mars is in your sign for the first time in two years meaning now is the time to seize the day—with gloves on, of course. Listen to your intuition because it’ll be particularly sharp, especially around your goals and plans for the future. Pay attention to what you think will serve you, and what you feel like is probably a f*cking waste of time. I.e. every single calendar invite from Carole.

Images: Giphy (12)

This week is all about karma and destiny as the Moon’s North node shifts into Gemini, and its South Node slips into Sagittarius, ruler of all things karmic. This week’s astrology is perfect for growth and expansion of the self, pushing us all to go further and achieve more in different aspects of our lives. So basically, this week has Cardi B energy. And who the f*ck doesn’t need a little of that right now?

Aries

The world is buying what you’re selling this week, Aries, as you’re able to harness the gift of gab to get whatever the f it is you want. You’re able to convince anyone of anything (even that you’re “getting a lot done” in quar), so the only question that remains is whether you’ll use your powers for good or evil. Decisions, decisions…

Taurus

You’re getting creative with your finances this week, Taurus, and tbh what better time than the present? The state of the global economy means that now is the perfect time to rethink your ten-year plan, and start looking outside the box when it comes to your financial future. Jobs, investments, and opportunities you’ve written off in the past might look different now after two months of quarantine. And just to be clear, I’m not talking about the men on IG who DM you saying they need a sugar baby… or am I?

Gemini

You’ll likely find yourself stepping into a leadership role this week, Gemini, and lucky for you it’s a role you were literally born to play. Lean into whatever the world throws your way with confidence, and you will surely reap the rewards. Even if that just means everyone hearing a client sing your praises at the morning Zoom meeting.

Cancer

This week is all about karma, Cancer, and you’re going to be bringing some good karma your way by giving back. You’re feeling the desire to be of service in some way, whether it be by taking an elderly neighbor some groceries, or volunteering to handle your one roommate’s weekly coronavirus meltdown so the other can get some sleep. Large or small, giving back is what will help you feel fulfilled this week. And as an added bonus, we all know that sh*t will come back to you tenfold.

Leo

Someone wants Leo to take the spotlight? No need to ask twice. This week you’ll have multiple opportunities to take charge and be a leader. And I’m not talking about in a “silent mastermind” or “woman behind the man” (yuck) kind of way. I’m talking about in a “Miranda Priestly Face of The Company/Evil Mastermind” kind of way. Plan your outfits accordingly.

Virgo

Now is not the time to be humble, Virgo, so set that modesty aside for a sec. This week, an opportunity to advocate for yourself will come up in a big way, and you don’t want to let it pass just because you were afraid of stepping on someone else’s toes. Not saying you need to start sabotaging any coworker who might be up for the same promotion as you, but it never hurts to remind the boss just why you’re such a valuable member of the team (and why Meghan from Accounts Payable sucks ass).

Libra

What is the meaning of quarantine? This week you’re trying to find out, Libra, as cosmic shifts put you into a philosophical mood. You may find yourself more open to new ideas and a greater willingness to question your routines. Like why exactly do you always watch Love Island and *then* Too Hot To Handle? Why not switch it up?

Scorpio

Long term efforts will come to fruition this week, Scorpio. Now the only question left is what to do next. But don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments before moving onto your next fitness challenge/Pinterest project/juice cleanse. Your body deserves a carb every now and again.

Sagittarius

An important partnership is going to become your focus the next few weeks, Sagittarius, so get ready for dynamic duo mode. This could come in the form of off-hours Zoom chats with a coworker you’ve been missing, or simply developing a greater appreciation for your roommate’s eccentric cleaning habits. Dishes under the couch cushion, eh? Interesting…

Capricorn

Your body and mind have been feeling completely out of whack lately, and literally no one can blame you. Luckily, this week will bring some focus and renewed energy to your health and wellness routines, helping you get back on track. Now is the perfect time to pick one healthy thing to incorporate into your routine. And we mean one. Nobody is going to run a 5k, cut sugar, increase their step average, and start drinking enough water all within a single work week.

Aquarius

This week you’ll be wanting to strut your stuff, which is a little tough with nowhere to go. Don’t be surprised if you see an increase in your selfie output, or if you succumb to the latest TikTok dance (mostly as an excuse to show off your cute new loungewear). Let loose and let yourself have a little fun. There’s no way you’ll ever be the most embarrassing person on TikTok. Not while influencers exist.

Pisces

Whether you’re years away from your dream home or living in it now, this week you’re looking to create your oasis. This can mean a full scale HGTV style redo or your living room, or something as simple as buying a chic new bedspread that says “this is my office now.” Whatever route you decide, at least one night of putting things in your cart from the Container Store’s website and then never proceeding to checkout is in your future.

Images: Xan Griffin / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Aries season begins on Thursday, and its fiery ambitious energy could be exactly what we all need to stay sane through the CDC’s recommended eight weeks of social distancing. Shakespeare wrote King Lear while on quarantine for the plague, so there’s no reason why you can’t get to inbox zero. Okay, so who are we kidding, even inbox 100 would be preferable.

Aries

Welcome to your season, Aries! Unfortunately any celebrations are going to have to be remote. Keep an eye out for rash decision-making, as being cooped up during your time to shine starts making you antsy. Like, no, your 2am dick appointment isn’t safer “because it’s your ex.” Come on now…

Taurus

Social distancing? Taurus, you’ve been training for this their whole damn life. Your friends used to shade you for your love of staying home, but you were just ahead of the curve. Lean into the self-care skills you’ve been developing all year long. Whose laughing at your collection of handmade soaps now?

Gemini

For you, Aries season will be all about individual connections, which is great because group hangs are kind of not a thing right now. Set up phone dates to keep updated with your friends, fire up G-chat, and maybe even start an old school letter-writing campaign. And by “letter writing” we mean “email sending.” It’s still 2020 after all.

Cancer

There’s no better time to stay in with your vision board, Cancer. Aries is giving you the drive you need to achieve your dreams, and coronavirus is giving you the time to actually hunker down and get sh*t done. That project you’ve been putting off for months? Now is the time. Try by devoting your typical commuting time to a project of your choice. Then freak out over all the time you wasted in your f*cking car.

Leo

I hate to say it Leo, but that travel bug has hit you at the exact worst time. Aries season is making you want to GTFO, just as the WHO is saying to STFI (stay the f*ck in). Since you can’t go on a journey with your physical body, why not go on a journey of the mind? Re-read Harry Potter. Finally finish Game of Thrones (you’ll be disappointed by it, it’s fine). See what this Star Wars sh*t is all about. Anything to make you forget that you’re stuck in your apartment with your roommate and not fighting space aliens with young Harrison Ford.

Virgo

Do you have your quarantine bae? Aries has you in an intimate mood, so what better time to call up your favorite asymptomatic individual and see if they’d like to self-isolate with you. Preferably someone who lives close by so they can f*ck off to their own house if/when sh*t hits the fan.

Libra

It’s time to finally download one of those meditation apps, Libra, because it’s mindfulness that’s going to get your group-loving sign through the next two weeks. Focus on enjoying your own company before you start naming your hair ties and start talking to them like they’re real people. (“Can you believe Stephanie just SNAPPED like that?”) It’s the only way you’ll make it through.

Scorpio

Aries season has you in the mood for a major purge, and lucky for you you’ve got nothing but time to go through literally all of your stuff. Spend the time you would have spent schlepping to and from work to connect with your inner Marie Kondo and downsize the f*ck out of your stuff. Just be sure to thoroughly wash anything you donate.

Sagittarius

Bust out the adult coloring book, Sagittarius, because Aries season has you connecting to your inner artiste. Use this mandatory indoor time for your favorite kindergarten rainy day activity: arts and crafts. Collages, painting, cute-ass embroidery sets—anything to take your mind off the monotony of life in self-isolation. You know, Frida Kahlo did some of her best work on bed rest.

Capricorn

The CDC says we should all up our hygiene and cleanliness regimens. Capricorn says challenge accepted. Is there anyone better suited to a regimented life in quarantine than you, Capricorn? I’m honestly jealous of how much fun you’re going to have disinfecting your space. Spend this Aries season turning your home into the germ-free sanctuary of your dreams, which fuckboys will ruin with their nasty-ass shoes the minute the CDC says its okay to hang out again.

Aquarius

FaceTime keep dropping? Emails coming off as either way too harsh or psychotically friendly? Aries season is disrupting your communication center and making it hard for you to navigate an already difficult time. Take a deep breath and realize that you’re not the only person trying to pretend the audio isn’t totally f*cked on a digital meeting. As long as you get the broad strokes you’ll be fine.

Pisces

You’ve been keeping things casual your whole season long, Pisces, but now it’s time to get serious. No, you’re not gonna be able to keep going to yoga right now. No, you can’t still maintain your weekly date schedule. And for the love of God, please stop going to crowded bars. Please.

Images: Giphy

This week, unfortunately, is all about waiting. Waiting for the weekend. Waiting for time off work. Waiting for Venus to enter Aquarius and revitalize all of our lives. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Maybe next year we can find a way to make December only three weeks long? Just a thought…

Aries

Your body is in the week, but your brain is in the weekend. Basically, it’s all holiday parties, happy hours, and the occasional half-assed work assignment for you from now until 2020. Luckily, Venus moves into Aquarius on Friday, making you the life of literally every party. Single Aries should also keep an eye out for a new person to pop up at one of these events—they could end up being your winter boo.

Taurus

Now is not the time for giving up! Now is the time for a last-minute productivity push. While everyone else is blacking out on eggnog every night this week, you’ll be drinking a more reasonable amount of eggnog and showing up for work on time and ready to go. Don’t let your slacker friends talk you out of this instinct, because it could all come together in a big way Friday, when Venus brings some intense good vibes to your 10th House of professional success.

Gemini

You should start charging an hourly rate, because this week you’re basically a therapist. You can’t help it—your advice is just that good. At times it’ll seem like the whole world is coming to you for guidance, and you should try to help them the best you can. It could come in handy starting Friday, when Venus moves into Aquarius and has you dying to skip town. Maybe one of the people you helped has a cabin you can spend a weekend (or three) at?

Cancer

Your work life might feel particularly frustrating this week as you can see the holidays on the horizon, but don’t let yourself get bogged down in despair. Use this time to get your goals for 2020 in order because on Friday, Venus will be moving into your House of eroticism and your mind will be on, shall we say, other things from then until the new year.

Leo

A creativity boost will help you in achieving a major goal this week, so don’t write off your craziest ideas. They might secretly be genius ideas that are just a little drunk right now. Lean into wherever this creative energy takes you. At the very least, it’ll keep things interesting while you wait for the work week to be over.

Virgo

You’re letting optimism into your life, which is kind of a rare occurrence for you, Virgo. Make sure you extend the rosy outlook to yourself and ease up on the negative self-talk. Take this as an opportunity to be gentle with yourself this week, because Venus moves into Aquarius on Friday and will pull you right back into your usual grind.

Libra

You might find yourself playing the voice of reason a lot this week, which isn’t usually your thing. You’re typically more likely to be the friend cheering on the sidelines than the one calmly explaining why getting in a fight with the rude bartender is probably not a good idea. Embrace this role reversal for now, and just know that on Friday the clock will strike midnight and you’ll turn right back into the bad influence you were always meant to be.

Scorpio

Your professional life is on fire right now, Scorpio! So much so that you may even be seeing a windfall of cash this week (hello, end-of-year bonus!) Be sure to save at least some of it right away. On Friday, Venus will bring you into a period of intense hibernation, meaning you’re more likely to blow all your money on takeout than on shots at the bar.

Sagittarius

Work on setting goals for 2020 this week, and really let your ambitions take the wheel. Seriously, the sky’s the limit. Go wild on that vision board. Sure, “become Beyoncé” is kind of a hard goal to actually achieve, but you’ll worry about filling in the details later. This will come in handy over the weekend, when Venus will have you wanting to do anything but work from now until January.

Capricorn

You’re feeling very generous this week, which is pretty perfect, considering ‘tis the season for giving. You’re killing it at the office secret santa, slaying the thoughtful cards, and absolutely destroying at your friend group’s white elephant. Basically, this week you’re Santa, which is good because starting Friday, Venus will be in Aquarius, electrifying your house of personal finances and luxury, meaning you’ll be wayyy more interested in spending that hard earned cash on yourself.

Aquarius

Time to check in with your core crew before the year is out, Aquarius! Make sure you’re not letting an important relationship go ignored, and let your besties know how much they mean to you before Friday rolls around and Venus enters your sign—meaning you’ll be literally mobbed with strangers vying for your attention. It’s not your fault you’re so popular.

Pisces

You’re experiencing a renewed focus on health right before the holidays, which is great for you, Pisces. Not many people can say the same. Get those extra sweat sessions and green juices in before you go into full holiday hibernation mode starting Friday. After that, you’ll be legally obligated not to leave your mom’s couch or turn down a single one of Grandma’s famous cookies.

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