You guys know Kendall Jenner, right? I mean, of course you do. She’s super famous, has been her entire life, and is one of the highest-paid supermodels in the world. Her face is everywhere. If there is one thing I know about Kendall, it’s that she’s very, very thin. She has to be, being a supermodel. She’s like, nine feet tall and weighs 87 lbs. Now, we all criticize our bodies, and feel like we could stand to lose weight, tone up, be thinner, etc. But you would think if you’re a supermodel and are one of the thinnest women in the world, you’d probably get over that. You’d be happy at your size and feel thin enough. Right? YOU WOULD THINK.
Which brings us to today’s Photoshop Fail of the week.
When Kendall posted this photo, I thought it was realistic. Yes, those body portions are insane. It looks unnaturally thin. But isn’t Kendall the definition of unnaturally thin? If we were all that tall and thin, we’d all be supermodels. She just has this crazy specific body type. (Sidenote: this is also why it’s so important that we move away from all models being scary tall/thin. It’s not a good representation of what clothes look like on the rest of the population.)
However, even for Kendall, the way her chest is almost shelved compared to her waist looks off to me. And her waist-to-hip ratio is crazy. The thing is, if you have a waist this thin, you probably also have teeny hips. You can’t spot-reduce just your stomach. I mean, I guess you could get lipo, freeze the fat, that awful thing that sucks fat out and puts it in your ass, etc. Which in this family is very common practice. But could it be realistic? I mean. I guess?
But that’s when I noticed that the walls looked a little wonky. BENT, even. Are you telling me that Supermodel Kendall Jenner still does not think she’s thin enough, so she Facetuned her body to make her look even thinner?
A lesson for all of you, real quick: walls don’t need to be perfectly straight to the camera. Your camera could be/most likely is held slightly crooked. And sometimes, walls are crooked due to structural issues. I live in a crooked apartment, actually. It’s only really noticeable when I tried to use a level to hang my artwork, or when I cook and all the oil in the pan shifts to one side. But here’s the thing. Even if that’s the case, the walls still would not bend. The wall would just be at a diagonal, but the line itself would be straight. A wall doesn’t start going one direction and then curve to the right without intention/design. So back to the photo.
Every single wall is bent, and they’re all bending at Kendall’s waist, head, or arms. I also would like you to note that the floor even has wavy lines only on Kendall’s side. Her dress, coincidentally, also has a blurred line on that side, too. That back door frame is the worst of it, curving waaay to the right (also coincidentally next to Kendall’s blurry arm lines). You can see that the top of the doorway is perfectly straight, so we’re not in some weird, crooked apartment like mine. The wall lines all begin perfectly straight until they get near Kendall.
You can also see the perfectly straight lines of the picture frame on the left, compared to the bent lines on the right picture frame. All the lines around her male companion (I don’t know who this man is) are straight and even. It’s just that Kardashian/Jenner force field that causes all objects to bend in their wake.
Also? What is going on in the upper lefthand corner? It looks like Kendall somehow accidentally stamped that column twice? I’m not sure what she was trying to fix there, it just doesn’t look like it makes sense in the structure. And also below that, the wall holding up the column suddenly juts out and misses it entirely? What did she try to fix?
But seriously, why did Kendall do this to her photo? This misshapen background can be explained by Kendall moving her arms and waist to be smaller, head and hips to be bigger. Why do people make their heads bigger, you ask? It makes the rest of the body look smaller and eyes and lips bigger. She’s lucky her male friend was wearing all black, otherwise we can guarantee there’d be some wonky lines around that waist.
So just in case the state of the world was not depressing enough, there’s this. It doesn’t matter how thin/rich/beautiful you are, no one is ever thin enough or happy enough with their body. And if you see a photo where you’re like, “I’m sorry, no one is that skinny,” you’re probably right. Can’t we just all agree to say f*ck it and go out for burgers? I don’t care for this insane kind of pressure.
Did you notice something off when you saw Kendall’s photo? What do you think about insanely thin girls editing their body even further? Do you think people like Kendall are responsible for the toxicity they spread on what the “ideal woman” should look like? What other Fails have you spotted recently? Let me know in the comments!
Images: Instagram (@kendalljenner); Giphy (3)
So in the interest of full disclosure, my favorite breakup movie ever is the work of Jenny McCarthy. It’s called Dirty Love and it’s absolutely trash. And I love it, I really do. I make everyone I know watch it. And it was written by and stars Jenny. It’s one of the funniest movies ever, especially if you’re going through a breakup. However, Jenny then decided to ruin my love for her by becoming a very vocal, dumbass anti-vaxxer. Guys, I love Dirty Love, but I’m pretty certain that bitch is not a doctor. The Playboy Mansion doesn’t even have a medical school. If she’s who you consult for medical advice, I’m surprised you’re literate enough to even read this article. So, because Jenny has taken it upon herself to single-handedly contribute to spreading the black plague amongst us all, it’s really my civic duty to roast her for her egregious Facetune use.
Jenny, you think making fun of plastic surgery and photo editing is bad? Try having smallpox.
In addition to spreading medical lies to the general public, Jenny also enjoys spreading lies about her face. More specifically, what it looks like. I have to be honest. When I saw her at the Emmys, I did not recognize her. Her face has had a lot of bad sh*t done to it. I don’t understand this about celebrities. They think having a plastic surgeon butcher their face will make a 50-year-old woman look 20 again, which is super weird because that’s literally never happened. What instead happens is that you look like you’ve had a LOT OF WORK DONE. Which isn’t really impressive/attractive to anyone. Who are these surgeons? They need to calm down.
However, Jenny knows how to work Facetune, because when she posted the below photo, it really did look like she always looked (and very much in her 20s-30s):
BUT THEN. Unfortunately for Jenny, I was like, uh no, I’m looking at you on the TV right now, and that is not what you look like.
So I found receipts.
And I mean, right? Is that even the same person? And to make it worse, I made a GIF. Which did require flipping the image, but you get the point.
It’s fun because it looks like the second image is the mother of the first girl. Except with a surgically butchered nose, blowup doll lips, and what can only be described as a SHIT-TON of makeup. Guys? It’s fine to age gracefully. Smacking an entire container of Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation up on those fine lines make them look a million times worse. Stop it.
So here’s the shortlist on what Jenny adjusted on her personal photo: she swapped out her nose for one of the very popular Generic Facetune Noses, which I honestly don’t blame her for, because her actual nose looks like it went to see Michael Jackson’s surgeon. She made her eyes/eyebrows way bigger. The jawline was made smoother/soft. She gave herself a tan. Those are also Generic Facetune Lips. And she airbrushed and changed the color of her entire face so that there are no lines, no shadows (aside from cheekbones—which also were edited in), no skin texture. I mean, look at her neck. In an effort to remove what I’ll politely refer to as an old lady turkey neck, she created a smoothed plastic neck devoid of any and all light. It’s especially strange when you compare it to the skin on her chest, which actually has texture and clearly years of tanning bed and sun damage.
So there you have it. Jenny lies about lots of things, not just medical stuff that endangers the lives of millions of people. Also? The plastic surgery is very aging. Maybe don’t do so much of that, and then you won’t need to Facetune. Jenny honestly looks older than Christina Applegate, who Jenny just shaded her at the Emmys, saying she wanted to be Christina when she grew up. They’re basically the same age. Who is even hiring Jenny to do interviews anymore? I thought we agreed to stop supporting anti-vaxxers after I threw out all my Kat Von D makeup?
In short, don’t Facetune, don’t get a ton of plastic surgery, don’t spread bullshit medical information, and don’t come for Christina Applegate.
Do you still like Jenny McCarthy? Did you think she looked totally different? Did you recognize the Facetune in her Instagram post? What other celebrities have butchered their faces recently? Let me know in the comments!
Images: Getty Images; jennymccarthy / Instagram; Giphy
Okay, you need to read the title in the same, chant-like fashion that the gang kept saying last season: ANGELINA-AIN’T-GOT-POUNDED-OUT-IN-A-LONG-TIME. It’s a super funny title and I sat here for like five minutes chanting (and clapping? for some reason) to make it Photoshop-related and still make sense. Please appreciate my efforts.
In this week’s episode of my desperate attempt to show you that celebrities/influencers all lie all over social media (and also regular media), I bring you Angelina from the American classic Jersey Shore. Hopefully these articles help you realize how full 0f sh*t everyone is, and that even celebrities don’t look like celebrities without the makeup, editing, surgery, etc. So, here we go with this week’s Photoshop fail. Angelina posted this pic last week.
First of all, I love her romper. It’s cute af and I want it, which makes me slightly ashamed because when I was in college, we had Jersey Shore themed parties where we’d dress like the cast as a joke. Now I actually like Angelina’s style? WHAT has happened?
Secondly, she did something very bad to this picture. Can you see it what it is?
If you’ve read my articles, you know the NUMBER ONE GIVEAWAY OF AN EDITING APP IS WAVY F*CKING LINES. And actually, I didn’t line them, but even the columns to the right are warped! This is why you should always check the backgrounds. See also: be happy with your body and don’t f*cking do it in the first place.
I mean. REALLY? This is sooooooooo poorly done, it’s actually crazy. Angelina, a real person, looked at this and went, “Yes. Cute.” She pushed all the lines around to make her waist and legs look thinner. In the process, she gave herself HORRIBLE bowlegs. Like what? Her left leg looks like it’s going to snap in half?
I’m not a doctor, but pretty sure that ankle would be broken?
Also. Sidenote. Those shoes don’t fit. Her toes are literally hanging out of them. Seriously, walking around like that, you would probably break an ankle for real.
What’s weird to me is that I’ve seen Angelina IRL, and honestly, she’s pretty thin. Like, why is nothing thin enough for you people? I’m sure that romper was perfectly flattering. Can’t you just leave this sh*t alone? Angelina, the woman who publicly shat her pants in a cab and announced it on TV without shame, is too embarrassed to post a pic of her real size. Which is still thin. This is what’s so crazy to me. It’s like, all these celebrities edit their photos just to look as thin as each other, when it’s all lies. Can I petition for a mass movement where everyone deletes their editing apps and stops Photoshopping themselves?
Or for the love of God, at least fix the background. I was gonna say, hasn’t Angelina taken a basic perspective class and/or anatomy class and can see how wrong this picture is? But I guess most people don’t learn those subjects. Also, I would be really surprised, like genuinely shocked, if Angelina was literate. Like, at a third grade level, even.
So to recap, children, Angelina is a super thin celeb who has already had a TON. A TON. of surgery. And she still feels the the need to pretend to be even thinner for social media. I hope this shows you why you should never compare yourself to anyone, whether it be reality stars, actors, singers, influencers, or models. They are ALL edited, ALL Photoshopped, ALL full of sh*t. The thinnest, most beautiful women in the world still somehow edit their photos (and get surgery). Comparing yourself to these images is like being mad that you don’t have Jack Skellington’s body type. They are fiction.
I also want to be clear, I actually love Photoshop. It’s my favorite software to use. I usually use it for drawing and painting, and I have brushes that simulate my real ones in my real life. But even photo editing has its uses. Using it for red eye, bad lighting, acne at an important event, getting rid of weird background stuff, I am all for. In fact, someone I know just got married and had horrible, HORRIBLE tan lines in her wedding photos. I mean, it’s distracting. Like hi, plan your bathing suit to your wedding dress. But let me tell you, if I was the photo editor, that would be something I would 100% have fixed and smoothed out to make it less noticeable.
My point is, Photoshop and editing have their uses. But please don’t use them to completely warp your face and body. It just perpetuates this idea that we all need to look like stick figure blow-up dolls with giant breasts and giant asses and tiny waists. Hopefully from these articles, you see that no one really looks like this.
For some reason, Angelina thinks women should look like this:
She’s sad because her bowlegs can’t hold up her giant boobs. (You are WELCOME for the original artwork. Can you tell I have a $200k art degree?)
Now chant it with me, everyone: ANGELINA’S-SUCKED-AT-PHOTOSHOP-FOR-A-LONG-TIME!
Send me any bad edits you find, I LOVE seeing your guys’ suggestions!
Images: Instagram @angelinamtv; Giphy; Holly Hammond, Super Serious, Professional, and Talented Artiste