Well friends, because time is a social construct, we’ve somehow already made it to May again. The fact that we’re already a third of the way through 2021 feels deeply wrong, but there’s nothing we can do about it, so this weekend we’ll just do our best to go with the flow. Europe just announced that vaccinated Americans can travel there over the summer; we haven’t had to use the phrase “the President tweeted…” in, like, a while; and our summer is looking up. Maybe the stars will align for a chill, relaxing weekend, too? Let’s dive in.

Taurus

Jazz snaps for you, Taurus! This weekend is going to be, as the kids say, “lit.” Plan to get out with friends on Saturday and, if you’re fully vaccinated, ditch the mask for outdoor hangs where you can actually SHOW OFF YOUR DOPE LIPSTICK. OMFG. Sunday, your boss may reach out with weekend work or a question, but it’s best to balance your professional self with some self-care (i.e. answer your boss or deal with projects while having a glass of wine).

Gemini

Try not to bicker this weekend, Gemini. The passion you feel could either start a fight over nothing, or be repurposed into some very good, very weird sexual energy. Lean into that sh*t. Things will calm down Sunday, and it’s a good opportunity to get out of the house and enjoy nature solo.

Cancer

Friday will end the workweek on a high note before you sprint into a romantic weekend, Cancer. You’ll be passionate, but volatile, so avoid topics with your S.O. that tend to start fights. Remember to pick your battles. Plan some time with friends on Saturday so you can take a breather before heading back home. Communication will be better on Sunday, so if you do need to pick a fight about something important—like how he hasn’t been showing enough interest in your dog’s daycare report cards—you’ll more easily find the words to get your point across.

Leo

Get creative af this weekend, Leo. The moon wants you to get your hands dirty, so maybe it’s time to tackle that kitchen reno, or like, something smaller, like replacing the knob that snagged your fav pants and tore a hole. Sunday will actually be a great day to convince your friend or partner to help you with said project, since the moon is making you smooooooth with your words and negotiation skills.

Virgo

Stay home and snuggle up in your sweatpants in the AC, Virgo. Even if it’s beautiful outside, it’s cool to stay on the couch and admire from afar. Less allergies to contend with, right? Yeah. Like literally everyone else, you could experience some tongue-tying in the beginning of the weekend, leading to misunderstandings. The best solution? Don’t f*cking talk to people after work on Friday, and keep your lips closed until Saturday night. That’ll teach the stars to f*ck with us.

Libra

Overall, you’re in for a nice, boring lil weekend, Libra. Shocker—spirits are high on Friday after work, and it’s a good night to go out and grab a bite with friends. Saturday, you may experience a bit of a mood shift because #planets , but it should die down in time for you to enjoy a quiet night at home with good, greasy Mexican food and a Netflix murder doc.

Scorpio

Maybe like, isolate yourself a little this weekend, Scorpio—at least on Friday and part of Saturday. The planets are gearing up to make anything you say come off meaner than usual, so sensitive friends beware. Instead, use your energy to do something artsy and creative, like painting your boyfriend’s car with watercolors or creating a sculpture out of face masks, IDFK. Communication gets back on track on Sunday, so call your mom and ask about the money she still owes you from your 15th birthday party.

Sagittarius

Money and material are the theme for the weekend, Sagittarius. Start the weekend off right by not adding an extra appetizer to your DoorDash order on Friday night. It’s those kinds of adult decisions (that, and avoiding avocado toast) that’ll clearly set you up for success long-term. Saturday and Sunday the responsibility continues, so try not to blow money on dumb sh*t. Instead, strong-arm your friends into buying you drinks if you go out.

Capricorn

Steer clear of topics that will cause disagreements in the beginning of the weekend, Capricorn, because come the end of the weekend, you’ll be really putting that communications degree to good use. If your schedule and vaccine status allow, head out of town with your S.O. and soak in the scenery away from home. Taking a breath of fresh non-stale non-house/apartment air will do you both good.

Aquarius

Avoid work drama on Friday, Aquarius, unless you want more work over the weekend. Stay out of office politics completely, and scoot out early to snag drinks with a friend. Saturday is for sleeping in and exploring whatever weird dreams you’ve been having lately. Who knows, the universe could give you some weird insight into the important convos you need to have with a close friend or family member on Sunday.

Pisces

Like everyone else, there’s potential for some disagreement on Friday and Saturday, Pisces, so we recommend drinking to the point of blackout one or both days so you and your bestie/S.O. don’t remember what you argued about. Honestly, that seems like a solid solution. The rest of the weekend should be spent nursing a hangover and driving the struggle bus before you head back to a SH*TTY workweek on Monday. Godspeed.

Aries

Have fun this weekend, Aries. Ya know, avoid drama, grab drinks, befriend your Uber driver, make out with a stranger—don’t, no, wait—not yet. Soon. Plan to enjoy the weather with a low-key dinner and drinks party outdoors with a few close friends. You can test out that f*cking banana bread recipe you absolutely perfected in quarantine.

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Bye, Aries! Take your toxic moods and GET. It seems like, even though Aries has left the building, we’re still going to be dealing with some nasty moods this weekend, thanks to the Libra moon. We recommend puppies, long walks, vacations in Bora Bora, and having millions of dollars. Okay, so only half of that list is actually doable. Puppies and long walks it is!

Taurus

It’s your time to shine, Taurus, so try to make it worthwhile this weekend by leaving the couch, eating something other than your microwave cooking for once (sad!), and not checking your work email. You’ll have a surplus of energy this weekend, so spend it on some sort of creative endeavor on Saturday. Paint a picture, do chalk art in your driveway—IDFC. The moon is actually going to help you reach a goal come Sunday, so why not combine the two and start some sort of house DIY Saturday then threaten your S.O. until he finishes it on Sunday? Goal achieved!

Gemini

It’s totally grool if you want to be a homebody this weekend, Gemini. The universe wants you to put on your sh*ttiest sweatpants and clean your house just so you can feel accomplished, which is like, really thoughtful. Beware, though—the stars may have you feeling frustrated for no reason Saturday morning, so if you’re starting to identify with the serial killers on the murder docs you’re watching, it could be time to step away and take a bath/drink a bottle of wine/go for a jog.

Cancer

Give yourself some time, space, and allowance to ghost literally everyone this weekend, Cancer. You’ll find the need to pull away, so if eating lunch solo at a nice f*cking restaurant for brunch on Saturday just so you can experience some goddamn peace and quiet feels right—go for it. Luckily, by Sunday you’ll feel able to interact with other human beings, so maybe you can muster the energy to grab a seltzer with a friend.

Leo

Money, #mood, and your mouth can sum up your weekend Leo. First, keep an eye on your finances—things could go poorly if you decide to blow a ton of money on something you don’t need. I know the Reformation dress is cute, but you have nowhere to wear it. Secondly, you’ll feel the need to communicate a lot this weekend, but the stars are making your words extra spicy, and not in a cute way. Watch your mouth, and watch your money.

Virgo

After work on Friday, spend some time spoiling yourself, Virgo. Take the long way home, listen to weird music, spend quality time with your sex toys—whatever gets you going. On Saturday, the moon in Libra is making you feel too many feelings, so try to relax and hang around people who are least likely to get on your nerves. That sh*t luckily passes by Sunday, and you’ll be back to kicking ass and not cry over dumb sh*t.

Libra

You’d think that the moon in your sign this weekend would be awesome, Libra, but you could be wrong. You’ll have some wacky dreams Friday, so plan to sleep late on Saturday in an effort to stay in that dream world where you’re banging Brad Pitt and avoid the feelings-fest that’s due to happen Saturday. Try not to pick fights; they’re liable to blow tf up. Things should cool down by Sunday, so if you did start a fight, we suggest making it up to that person with a bottle of wine, or something equally heartfelt.

Scorpio

See some friends, do some stuff, and drink a drink, Scorpio. This weekend starts off with a desire to be social, so plan an evening out for Friday with some close friends. Saturday you’ll actually want to be away from people, so, all the more reason to go hard Friday night so you can nurse your hangover the day after. Sunday, the solitude mood continues, so get some organizing out of the way and weed through your pajama collection. If it’s more than 10 years old, it’s time to say bye.

Sagittarius

Get mad, Sagittarius. The moon vs. your own star vibes on Friday may result in a sh*tty mood, but luckily by Saturday morning you should be back on your regular bullsh*t (the fun kind). It’s actually a good few days to try and accomplish a goal. So, if you’ve been trying to run a mile in under 15 minutes, bake a cake without burning it, or finish a Netflix series in one sitting, it’s your time to shine.

Capricorn

Deal with all the sh*t you’ve been putting off, Capricorn. Or, at least whatever you can manage to take care of in one weekend. Maybe you can manage to take the trash out AND mail a return. Saturday you may want to be wary of your words, as they could start a fight between you and your S.O. Be extra nice to them this weekend—they’re going to be feeling a little delicate. If you’re bored on Sunday, peruse stocks that Reddit tells you to buy. Maybe you’ll stumble on the next Dogecoin.

Aquarius

Check in on any shared assets you have with your partner this weekend, Aquarius. Maybe you can get your adult on and refinance your house or pay off one of your student loans (lol). Give yourself space, though, if you start feeling extra irritable. The moon and Mars are teaming up to make you feel extra moody.

Pisces

Plan a date night, Pisces. It’s been a while since you had a night out with your S.O., so make it a point to get away in the romantic sense on Friday or Saturday night. The passion can go either way, though, so choose your battles and don’t pick at dumb sh*t to start a fight, even though being right is *the best*. If you’re single, plan a few outings where you can easily run into people (with masks on) and potentially bump into someone special. Not like, literally though, because #pandemic.

Aries

Take care of yourself this weekend, Aries. If you’ve been uber focused on work lately, it’s time to step back and do something else—especially on Saturday. Unplug, go for a run, or just zone out while eating pizza and rewatching Puppy Dog Pals with your kid. There’s potential for a fight on Sunday with your partner, so try to avoid confrontation even if he’s being an idiot.

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Welp, here we are again, praying that the universe is kind this weekend and that Aries—that tricky, fickle bitch—doesn’t cause unnecessary drama, fights, or #feelings just because it doesn’t have any zodiac friends. Like, don’t take it out on us, Aries. Maybe it’s time you gave therapy a try.

Anyway, maybe this is the weekend that things go super right and everyone is in a great mood? We can hope.

Aries

It’s probably best you aren’t around people the first half of the weekend, Aries, since you’re likely to blow up and say mean, hurtful things without really meaning them. Luckily, by Saturday evening the fog will have lifted and you’ll be sorta nice again. Use Sunday to rearrange sh*t in your house so you can feel like you paid someone a bunch of money for interior design work. It’ll be fun.

Taurus

Your brain won’t STFU or turn off this weekend Taurus, and although that’s usually really f*cking annoying, you should use it to your own benefit. If you’ve been trying to impress your boss, tackle that work project you’ve been putting off. If you hate work and are looking for your big break, this weekend is the time to write your memoir or pursue becoming some kind of influencer. Idk if it’ll work (probs not), but the stars are telling you to believe in yourself, so go for it.

Gemini

You’re dying to be the life of the party, so head out somewhere you can socially distance on Saturday and surround yourself (from six feet away) with people who will soak up your awesomeness. Sunday is all about adult sh*t, though, so stick close to home and go through your spending from the last week. You may find that you’ve gone a little off the rails with takeout this month, so maybe it’s time to research meal planning and easy recipes.

Cancer

Chill tf out, Cancer. You may have some trouble powering down on Friday night, but if you can’t sleep, maybe you can do something productive, like a puzzle, or the dishes that have been there since Tuesday. Saturday will be much more relaxed, so plan on sticking close to home and wearing a lot of stretchy loungewear.

Leo

You’re dying to be social this weekend, Leo, so make plans with some friends after work on Friday and find a restaurant or bar where you can tip well, support local, and get maybe a little bit tipsy. Nurse your hangover on Saturday with some much needed r&r in the form of Netflix murder mysteries, then head to bed early because the universe wants to fill your head with some weird dreams.

Virgo

Work sucks, Virgo, and you’re kind of fighting the urge to let a string of inappropriate no-no words fly at your boss on Friday. Calm down, leave, and use the weekend to recharge, update that resume, and try to get your head around the whole situation. The moon is like, “talk to a friend,” so take that advice and call up some of your favs for a “what would you do” chat.

Libra

Consider the stars your excuse for getting off the couch this weekend, Libra. Plan a long hike (maybe, like, with wine at the end as a reward) so you can be one with nature on Saturday, and make a conscious effort to keep your phone/computer/screens off and away for at least the day. You may have to deal with some work stuff on Sunday, but it won’t be anything you can’t handle after a margarita or two.

Scorpio

If something has been bothering you, get to the bottom of it this weekend, Scorpio. Maybe you’ve wanted to tackle a few subjects with your S.O., like vacuuming duties or how often he’s been doing Zoom happy hours. Just keep it light, and you should be able to weed through some bullsh*t. Sunday is for funsies, so make time to go out and grab a glass or wine with a friend.

Sagittarius

You’ll need some deep breathing in order to not be the next subject of a murder doc this weekend, Sagittarius. Your S.O. is going to get on your last f*cking nerve, so instead of screaming through it, just get out of the house for the day. Plan a dinner out with your partner on Sunday once you’ve both had some time to breathe and be apart. Maybe some weird makeup sex thrown in for good measure? Idk, you do you.

Capricorn

Ignore work drama, Capricorn, even if a parking lot fist fight between those two toxic bros in accounting is A+ entertainment heading into the weekend. Saturday the moon is all about highlighting your partnerships, so whether you’re in a committed relationship, need time with your bestie, or want to schedule a mommy date, set a few hours aside to be with someone whose company you enjoy.

Aquarius

Sexy times are in store this weekend, Aquarius. If you’re in a relationship, schedule a date night with your S.O. either at your fav restaurant or at home with pizza, sweats, and a movie you can text through. Then, plan a long, fun romp in bed. You deserve it. If you’re single, now is absolutely the time to meet up with your Tinder crush. Keep it casual, like a few beers at a brewery, a walk in the park, or a nacho-eating contest. It could lead to big sh*t.

Pisces

You may feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster this weekend, Pisces. Instead of blowing up at your friends and fam, use your creative, moody energy to do hot girl sh*t around the house, like painting a wall, refurbishing that old dresser, or just perusing home improvement boards on Pinterest. Even if your project doesn’t end up like your vision, at least you’ll have kept from having dumb arguments with people you actually like.

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We’re a few weeks into 2021 and we’ve seen some improvements already. This week gave us the return of fashion, happiness, and hope to the White House. We got the final goodbye from Florida Man and Melania (may they never tweet again) and The Bachelor, though boring, almost felt like a non-pandemic affair. Basically, this week’s near return to normalcy felt like the equivalent of taking my bra off after working a double.

Do the stars share our hopefulness for the future and, like, weekend? Let’s dive in.

Aquarius

Talk about energy, Aquarius. You’re ready to tackle some sh*t this weekend, be it cleaning out your closet, going for a six-mile hike (ew), or finishing that bottle of wine all by yourself. The stars will be pushing you to focus on your nest by Saturday evening, so we’d recommend just going ahead and getting a lot of that spring cleaning out of the way. By Sunday night, though, you’ll want to kick back, relax, and lament that fact that you have work on Monday.

Pisces

Stay home and embrace hygge, Pisces. Whether you decide to tackle making bread, test drive all of your coziest sweaters at once, or just want to lie around and read some classic novels, any kind of cuddling up in your nest is what the stars want from you this weekend. Make sure not to completely isolate yourself, though. Your communication abilities will be on f*cking point, so call your bestie and shoot the sh*t for a while, too.

Aries

Pay attention to your budget (or lack thereof) on Friday, Aries. Like, no, you don’t need to spend $50 on delivery when the restaurant is within walking distance of your apartment. Saturday and Sunday you’ll feel the need to get out and explore, so become a tourist in your own town and try a cafe you’ve never popped into, take your dog to the park, or drive around downtown. It’ll clear your head after what feels like the longest January on record.

Taurus

You’ll get some much-needed attention this weekend, Taurus, so soak up the spotlight. Your self-esteem, in turn, will skyrocket, so after work on Friday be sure to schedule a girls’ night, date night, or out-of-the-house activity that will get you seen. After you blow all your money, Saturday and Sunday are perfect for examining your financial situation. Buckle down and make yourself a budget.

Gemini

You’re going to be feeling psychic af this weekend, Gemini. It’s like you have ESPN or something. You may get some messages in your dreams, so wear your comfiest pajamas and go to bed early on Friday so you can soak up whatever the universe is telling you. Saturday and Sunday are for communication and connection, so if your S.O. is around, it may be a good opportunity to talk about your #feelings and then order and share a pizza.

Cancer

After work, it’s time to drink a beer with your coworkers on Zoom, Cancer. I know you’ve been putting it off because you aren’t sure if you’d like these people OUTSIDE the figurative office, but give it a chance. Hey, even if you don’t, you’ll at least be buzzed. Saturday and Sunday, the stars are sending you messages via dreams and gut feelings, so try to pay attention to any signals that aren’t hunger or indigestion.

Leo

Time to focus on your career, Leo. You may have been putting off asking for that 15% raise with your boss, but grab the opportunity on Friday and f*cking go for it. After that negotiation, you’ll want to use Saturday and Sunday for some social time with close family and friends. Head to a winery and sip something you can’t afford outdoors. Or find a brewery with a fire pit and food truck with some soul-satisfying (see: greasy) food.

Virgo

GTFO of your house this weekend, Virgo. You have the urge to travel, but thanks to the pandemic, that’s kind of out of the question ATM. Instead, take a drive to some nearby mountains, the beach, or a town you haven’t explored. Soak in the scenery and tell yourself that you can go to Europe next year. Maybe. If everyone behaves. Sunday you may want to check up on your work email so you don’t have any surprises waiting for you on Monday.

Libra

Pay attention to your feelings on Friday afternoon, Libra. Your gut is pushing you to do or listen to something in particular, and this time, it’s totally right. So whether you need to tune into the psychic frequency by drinking a bottle of wine or lying in a bathtub, own it. Saturday and Sunday will be more fun, so plan for brunch or shopping local with a best friend so you can like, leave the house.

Scorpio

Talk about romance, Scorpio! This is a prime weekend to schedule date night and maybe celebrate Valentine’s Day a bit early. The universe is making you feel super compatible and on-the-same-page with your S.O., so take advantage and soak up each other’s company as much as you can. Like, maybe it’s a good time to bring up that DIY project or kitchen remodel he’s been sorta against? Just saying.

Sagittarius

Are you taking care of yourself, Sagittarius? Use the weekend to really examine your habits, from your relationship with the UberEats driver to your inability to walk up a flight of stairs without panting to your body’s surprise and delight when you actually drink water. I mean, new year, new you, right? We’re not saying give in to diet culture (f*cking ew), we’re just saying take care of your bod and mind.

Capricorn

Get your hands dirty this weekend, Capricorn. Creativity reigns, so if you’ve been dying to make a spun sugar sculpture, or get really weirdly into plants, or repaint a room black, this is the time to do it. Otherwise, the universe wants you to give in to joy this weekend, so try to stay off the grid. On Sunday, a small work emergency may pop up, but it can probably wait till Monday.

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Is everyone ready for Zoom Thanksgiving? Should be a super great time and like, isn’t it fun that we’re trying to avoid superspreader events considering the original Thanksgiving kinda kicked off the whole intentionally spreading disease to other people thing? The irony!

Anyway, while we all wonder how to actually cook a turkey, the planets are gearing up for a super fun week of emotions and social distancing. Can’t wait. But, hey—at least Scorpio season is over.

Sagittarius

Communication and like, wanting to learn stuff are on the docket this weekend, Sagittarius. We don’t necessarily recommend calling up your conservative relatives and schooling them about COVID, the election, and other common sense sh*t (although that’s hilar). Maybe try learning a language or reading a book about interesting Thanksgiving recipes your mom will get mad at. Sunday is all about home, so vacuum your room and maybe dust something since you like, tend to neglect that quite a bit.

Capricorn

Pay down some bills, Capricorn. Since you have a little time before the holiday shopping gets serious, use Saturday to review your gift ideas, figure out a budget, and stick to it. If you’re careful, you could throw a lil extra toward your car or student loans this month. Communication prevails on Sunday, so if you were planning on writing up some SOPs for work or just playing with the idea of having a deep feminist discussion with your bestie, now’s the time.

Aquarius

How are you feeling about you, Aquarius? Use Friday night and Saturday morning to spoil yourself—whether that looks like ordering in a box of tacos or a bubble bath with champagne or just scrolling through Target’s early Black Friday deals. Sunday is all about helping others and getting a pulse on your finances, so combine the two and volunteer your time somewhere like an animal shelter, then build in donations to worthy causes into your budget.

Pisces

Get ready for some weird f*cking dreams, Pisces. You’ll probably wake up in a cold sweat on Saturday morning after reliving some childhood trauma like throwing up on yourself in 3rd grade, but try to get past it and connect with some friends over a drink or two later. Sunday is for boosting your own self-esteem, so break out some hair masks and face masks and cozy slippers and martinis cause, sis, you deserve it.

Aries

Spend time with your friends this weekend, Aries, in whatever way you can so as to not be responsible for giving a bunch of people the ‘rona. We’d suggest a Friday night FaceTime wine and whatever’s-in-your-fridge happy hour. Just think: you and all your friends sitting in pajamas, miles apart, drinking wine straight out of the bottle and eating cheese/leftover pizza together. Sounds amazing tbh. Saturday the planets are pushing you to be generous, so maybe it’s time to clean out your closet (including your old winter coats) and donate them to the poor and slightly less fashionable.

Taurus

The moon is making moves in your career sector, so use this weekend to review your life and professional goals. Update your resume—it’s safe to remove that job at the dog kennel you had when you were 15 (just saying). Check out your LinkedIn and make sure it’s profesh-to-death i.e. great pictures, samples of your work, an updated resume, and everything you’d want to see if you were looking to hire a PA or something. Finally, plan to sit and chat with your boss on Monday and prepare for said convo on Sunday. You won’t get what you don’t ask for.

Gemini

Get ready for an adventure this weekend, Gemini. And since it’s 2020, adventure means taking a drive and not interacting with strangers, which we’re not that mad about. Take a trip to a cute town within an hour’s drive and shop local for some early holiday gifts. Amazon doesn’t need your money. After you’re mini-trip, relax on Sunday with House Hunters: Europe edition. It’ll be JUST like traveling.

Cancer

It’s all about you and your partner this weekend, Cancer. Make time on Friday night to cuddle up and enjoy each other’s company. Whether it’s breaking out fuzzy handcuffs or just sitting and watching serial killer dramas together, do whatever appeals to both of you. On Sunday, you’ll both be ready to get out of the house and explore a bit, so opt for a hike or nature walk in the early hours together. If that doesn’t sound fun, order brunch for delivery and stay in bed.

Leo

It’s all about intimacy this weekend, Leo, so if you have a partner, it’s prime time to cuddle up and do nothing but each other all weekend. Aside from physical intimacy, you should also make time for riveting discussion, enjoying activities that aren’t sex together (like eating and walking), and talking about future goals. If you’re single, the stars are aligned for promising dates on Friday and Saturday, so don’t be afraid to go outside the comfort zone.

Virgo

Are you being healthy, Virgo? This weekend the planets want you to examine your lifestyle and really question whether or not your routine is helping or hurting. Are you crazy burned-out at work? Are you getting enough sleep? Is your bra giving you a rash? etc. As the holidays sneak up on us, it’s a good time to sit back, relax, and think about how you’re spending your time and if it’s good for your overall well-being.

Libra

Get ready to feel artsy af this weekend, Libra. Whether you’ve been dying to redo a room in your house or just really want to make a macaroni and glitter painting for your mom, the stars are totally aligned for you to get your creativity on. Saturday night you may have a tiny crisis regarding if you’re really happy or not re: your job. Try to compartmentalize your feelings and figure out what’s making you happy and what isn’t in your 9 to 5.

Scorpio

The moon wants you to cuddle up and nest this weekend, Scorpio, and considering the onslaught that is the holidays sneaking ever closer, it’s probably a good idea. We recommend sweats and binging season 4 of The Crown so you can feel classy. Sunday the stars demand you call your mom, dad, or fav sibling and just shoot the sh*t for awhile. Though it may be exhausting in the moment, time with your family—even over the phone—will help you feel refreshed going into the next week.

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Are we all just collectively screaming into the void at the point? Are we experiencing cautious enthusiasm? How many hours of election coverage do you have to watch before you don’t feel feelings anymore? The good news is that, one way or the other, it’ll all be over soon. On top of that, looks like everyone is in for a very chill weekend, thanks to the planets reading the f*cking room and not piling more sh*t on top of us. Grool!

Scorpio

The moon is going to heavily f*ck with your emotions on Friday, Scorpio, so know that along with your election and COVID anxiety, you’ll have some regular anxiety, too. Saturday you’ll be craving emotional stability, snuggles, and love, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself smoothing over any arguments or tiffs in the interest of everyone getting along.

Sagittarius

Lean in to adventure this weekend, Sagittarius. Honestly, with the amount of stress we all just lived through, it’s a great time to go tf outside and ditch your phone for as long as possible. Bonus points if you try a new activity/sport/challenging hike you’ve never done before. Sunday you may feel some internal tension between wanting to stick to your budget and blowing your whole paycheck on something from Tiffany’s because, dammit, you deserve it. Just try to find a middle ground.

Capricorn

It’s the battle of your needs vs. everyone else’s, Capricorn. This weekend, you’ll find yourself pulled every which way emotionally, so try to center yourself, breathe, and balance. You’ll find on Saturday that communicating is f*cking difficult, so try to explain to your S.O., family, and friends that talking/texting is difficult atm, and you need some space so you don’t say things you don’t actually mean.

Aquarius

Tackle your f*cking problems, Aquarius. On Friday, you’ll have some bright ideas about how to better attack your work projects AND get your boss to appreciate you. That’ll be cause for heading out for a socially distanced and responsible beer with a friend or two afterwards. Saturday and Sunday you may feel some emotional tug-of-war between your wants and your partner’s, so try to meet in the middle. Like, if he wants pizza and you want nachos, compromise and get nachos.

Pisces

You’re feeling super creative this weekend, Pisces, so make a plan to redecorate your apartment, paint a random room, or rearrange your mom’s furniture just to piss her off. After your HGTV-ness, take some time on Sunday to think about your career. Are you truly happy? Does your resume need updating? Should you take up that old guy that slid into your DMs about being a sugar daddy? Just saying.

Aries

Love is in the air, Aries, so gear up for a date with someone new or spend some time with your S.O. this weekend. Things may get off to a rocky start and tensions may be a little high, thanks to the moon and planets pissing each other off, but rest assured that everything will smooth out by Saturday afternoon. Sunday is all about you, so order in and watch people f*ck up Genoise sponges on The Great British Baking Show again.

Taurus

Write a book, make up a recipe, or just call your mom and yap for a while this weekend, Taurus. I’m sure channeling your nauseous energy re: the election into something communicatory will be easy. Saturday is also prime for romance, so if you’ve been swiping through Tinder lately, it may be a good time to finally make a date. If you’re already in a relationship, try doing an activity that is neither Netflix nor chill with your S.O. this weekend.

Gemini

Relax, Gemini. The moon is heightening your #feelings all weekend, so if Saturday looks like a good opportunity for laying around, taking a bubble bath, and writing in your journal, go for it. Sunday you need to make a plan to get tf outside and enjoy what’s probably the last of the decent weather. Bring a bottle of wine and make your friends enjoy the sun with you.

Cancer

It’s all about your romantic relationship this weekend, Cancer. Friday night you may feel some tension with your S.O., but you’ll probs smooth it over with pizza and wearing that lacy underwear he enjoys. Otherwise, you should probably focus on your budget this weekend—you know, the one you haven’t been adhering to like, at all. Get that sh*t onto an Excel spreadsheet and formulate how to afford traveling again in 2022 and also how to not spend $400 every weekend at Target.

Leo

Pay attention to your dreams on Friday night, Leo, since they may actually mean something this time around. Saturday and Sunday you’ll be feeling especially nice—i.e., your election/COVID/seasonal depression and anxiety will take a hiatus for the day—so call up some friends and do something fun. Bonus points if it involves toasting one to several mimosas to our new president.

Virgo

Time to turn inward and snuggle the weekend away, Virgo. Friday after work you may be craving some fam and friend time, so head out for dinner or plan a long phone call with a friend. The rest of the weekend is for tidying your f*cking apartment, reading, and being away from other human beings, since this week was so emotionally exhausting.

Libra

Friday may be rough, Libra, but the weekend won’t be. Just accept that the last day of this week will be about as painful as the rest of it has been. Then go to bed and sleep it off. Saturday and Sunday you’ll be in better spirits and in the mood to mingle with your favs, so pick a brewery or a nature trail to spend some socially distanced time together.

Images: Giphy (12)

What’s everyone doing for Halloween? Dressing up as work-from-home moms? Watching spooky sh*t on Netflix? Just screaming into a pillow? Grool. It’s the last weekend before we know who may take over this sinking ship of a country, so, that’s something to fit right in with Halloween.

The planets are lining up to give most of us a quiet, thoughtful, and smooth weekend, so that’s something to be thankful for. Shall we?

Scorpio

Spend time working on your relationships this weekend, Scorpio. Watch whatever sports your partner insists need to be on, call your mom and listen to her complain about dad not raking the leaves again, and grab a glass of wine with your sister or best friend. Sunday is great for quiet relaxation, so grab a creepy novel or just catch up on the news, which is equally scary.

Sagittarius

Yikes, time to look at how healthy you are or aren’t, Sagittarius. Chugging vodka, eating pizza, and washing it all down with coffee the next day may have worked in college, but you aren’t like, that young anymore. Time for some water, kale, and a jog. Take the weekend to truly spend some time on yourself and focusing on chilling tf out.

Capricorn

Hooray for creativity, Capricorn. Since it’s the Hallo-weekend, channel your inner artist and carve a creepy pumpkin to ward off herds of wandering children. Or, create an obnoxious costume out of your different pieces of loungewear. You could also explore the super fun world of culinary creativity by making yourself something other than takeout for dinner. Just sayin’.

Aquarius

Be a homebody this weekend, Aquarius. Like, honestly, put on your favorite not-okay-to-go-out-in sweats, make a big pot of tea, coffee, or wine (yep, make a pot of wine), and snuggle in for the next 48 hours. The most you should be doing is laundry or dishes. Seriously, after the week you’ve had, you need to just focus on clearing some head space and doing absolutely nothing.

Pisces

If you can safely go out for Halloween, meet up with a friend or two, or just be out in society (with a mask), go for it. You’re going to be craving human contact and conversation, so it’s best to indulge a little bit so long as you’re being responsible about it. Plus, maybe it’ll give you a chance to see if that Halloween costume from college still fits.

Aries

The full moon is like, “spend all your money, lol!” but you should probably ignore the urge to blow hundreds on something you’ll wear once. You’ll be fighting the urge to online shop Saturday morning, so maybe it’s best to appease yourself with something small rather than something that’s going to f*ck up your budget for the month.

Taurus

You’re going to be feeeeeling yourself all weekend, Taurus, thanks to the planets sending you super positive vibes all day Saturday and Sunday. Since hosting a Halloween party and making everyone soak up your awesomeness isn’t really chill rn, we’d suggest brunch with a friend or two on Saturday then a hike with others later in the afternoon. That way you can spread your positivity and energy all around without spreading germs.

Gemini

Indulge in the Halloween spirit this weekend, Gemini, and wear a costume out for groceries, to dinner with your S.O., and just around the house while you do laundry. Bonus points if you can transition a Halloween outfit into the bedroom without it getting too weird. The planets are pushing your creative boundaries, too, so this is a great opportunity to finish that DIY project you’ve been putting off. Like, if redoing that dresser requires some chalk paint and interesting hardware, get to Home Depot and get that sh*t done.

Cancer

You’ll be itching to see friends and family this weekend, Cancer, so fire up FaceTime and see how many people you can chat with at the same time. I’m not sure the limit exists. If the weather is nice on Saturday afternoon, maybe you can grab a spooky glass of wine with some non-spooky coworkers. You can talk about all the scary sh*t your boss does! Sunday is for calling your mom and checking your work email, so plan for a chill day and cancel any plans that don’t spark joy.

Leo

It’s about to be a successful weekend, Leo, so spend your time wisely. Whatever task you attack on Saturday and Sunday will have great results thanks to the planets totally having your back for the next few days. So if you’ve been thinking about writing a novel or punching through the drywall in your kitchen to open things up or presenting a plan for your boss to give you a 25% raise, go ahead and reach for the stars.

Virgo

Be bold this weekend, Virgo. The stars want you to actually leave the house, so it’s a good excuse to put on a costume or, at the very least, break out those fall boots you haven’t had a chance to wear yet. Saturday presents a great opportunity to stroll through your fav small town’s main street (with a mask on, obviously) and support local. Sunday, grab a friend or two and have mimosas at your casa to ward off the Sunday scaries.

Libra

You’ll be embracing the spooky season this weekend, Libra, with a slew of weird feelings, dreams complete with dead relatives, and intuitive moments. Set aside some quiet time so you can filter through all that sh*t, then make time to connect with a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. Sunday is for naps, so get your Snuggie out of storage and bring on the cuddle times.

Images: Colton Sturgeon / Unsplash; Giphy (12)