Navigating relationships and sex drives in 2020 has been a total trip. Virtual and IRL dating has been wild AF, the thirst has been realer than ever, and living in general has basically felt like riding a roller coaster without a seatbelt. Especially with COVID-19 cases on the rise again, it’s time to do what’s safest by continuing to f*ck ourselves. Literally.
With the holidays right around the corner, you owe it to yourself to gift yourself one (or all) of these 14 awesome sex toys. Because let’s face it, we all deserve (read: need) them and the stress reliever that comes along with masturbation right now.
1. Sweet Vibes Charmed
As one of my personal favorites, I’m naturally putting it at the top of the list. Charmed is a powerful wand vibe that has a fun little fin on the head for pinpointed pleasure. Slip the tip in between your lips (please appreciate this rhyme) to stimulate the clit directly. If you’re on the more ~sensitive~ side, use the smooth back of the ball to please yourself. With four super powerful vibration settings to choose from, I promise you’re gonna have a good time.
2. Honey Birdette Bullet
This bullet vibe hits the spot every time. It’s small enough to hide in your nightstand and powerful enough to please TF out of you with five intensities and patterns. Oh, and it’s waterproof, making it a perfect toy to slip into your bathrobe and sneak into the shower with you.
3. We-Vibe & Womanizer Golden Moments Kit
If you’re a toy fan, you might already know about the Womanizer. If you’re into toys and in a relationship (nearby or LDR), you probably already know about the app controlled We-Vibe. If you don’t know about either, now’s your chance to buy both at a discount! This limited edition kit combines clit suction Womanizer Premium and dual stimulating We-Vibe Chorus to offer you $100+ off the OG prices of buying both toys separately. It’s basically the perfect gift for yourself… and your partner, if you decide to share.
4. Vibease Bluetooth Erotica Responsive Panty Vibrator
Do you like audiobooks? What about vibrators? Now what if I told you we could combine those two things to give you the most satisfying reading experience known to humankind? Introducing: the Vibease Bluetooth responsive panty vibe. Slip into a good book and masturbation sesh at the same time with this vibe that fits in your panties and vibrates according to what you’re listening to (via Bluetooth). Yes, really. This gives erotica a whole new meaning.
5. Desire Remote Control Butt Plug
Prostate owners, get you one of these remote controlled butt plugs. Actually, if you don’t have a prostate, you should get one, too. This silky smooth silicone plug has a flared base (which is IMPORTANT so it doesn’t get lost in your body) and is designed with a dented tip in an effort to maximize P-spot stimulation. It also boasts 8 modes and 12 intensities so your booty can experience all the sensations.
6. Zumio X, S, or E
Zumio is another masterpiece of a toy that I’ve been obsessed with for a while. Its SpiroTip™ technology doesn’t vibrate, but rotates in teeny tiny circles that please your sensitive parts with ease. There are three Zumio models to pick from: X, S, or E. You can read more on their website about each of their intensities, but TL;DR: X has a long stem and medium tip, S has a shorter stem and large tip, and E has a curved, rigid stem and precision tip. Plus, they’re offering a free special gift (25-page self-pleasure guide) with purchases this holiday season.
7. CalExotics Shameless Seducer
CalExotics’ Shameless Seducer is one of the more expensive products on the list, but that’s because it offers a LOT of stimulation. It’s penetrative, self-thrusting, and *very* unapologetic to whichever hole you’re using it on. It’s basically in the shape of a classic rabbit vibe, but it offers seven vibe patterns, four thrusting modes, and an additional flickering teaser that mimics a tongue. It’s wild. You’ve been warned.
8. CalExotics My Pod
If you’re a tech fan, you’re going to love My Pod. This toy is self-cleaning. Did you hear that? SELF-CLEANING. That means when you’re lazy AF after you’re done playing with this vibrator, you can literally throw it back in its pod and it’ll cleanse itself. No more forcing yourself to get up from bed and wash it in the bathroom. A miracle.
9. Unbound Puff
Where are all my clit suction toy lovers out there? I can’t see or hear you, but wherever you are, trust that the Puff is for you. As one reviewer in the comments writes, “Puff the magic dragon” is “LIFE CHANGING.” It’s a compact suction vibe with five different settings that’s waterproof and quiet (which is perfect for anyone living in close quarters during quarantine).
10. Emojibator Fruit Basket
Buy yourself a fruit basket this holiday season! But not just any fruit basket… one that vibrates. LOL. Emojibator bundled a bunch of their super cute and fun veggie- and fruit-shaped toys to give us the gift of ~sexual vitamins~ this year. With 10 vibration settings and the funniest sh*t to potentially put on your kitchen table, you can’t go wrong buying this. It comes with an eggplant, banana, chili pepper, and a pickle. Absolutely amazing, and if nothing else, funny AF home decor.
11. Organic Loven Rianne S Heart Vibe
The Rianne S Heart Vibe brings “love yourself” to another level. This 10-speed vibe is rechargeable, made of medical-grade silicone, and packed discreetly but designed beautifully so you’ll probably want to showcase it on your bookshelf or nightstand. Want the gift that keeps on giving? You can also subscribe to one of Organic Loven’s adult subscription boxes full of goodies like toys, condoms, books, and more.
12. Le Wand Arch
Arch is from Le Wand’s Stainless Steel Collection, and it’s absolutely beautiful. Not only is it a gorgeous product, but it’s also perfect for those who crave G-spot stimulation with its special curvature and girth. Bonus: throw this in the fridge to chill it up a bit before sliding it in. You’re welcome.
13. Satisfyer Love Triangle
Satisfyer is a staple brand in my toy box(es) for good reason. Their products are always made with body-friendly silicone and pack super strong stimulation abilities. The Love Triangle is a clit suction toy that syncs with an app and combines Satisfyer’s award-winning air-pulse tech with deep vibes to please us in allll the ways. It also comes with a hygienic cap so you can keep the toy safe from allergens and dust and crap when you’re not using it.
14. b-Vibe Anal Training & Education Set
If you’re a butt play beginner, get yourself b-Vibe’s anal training set. This kit comes with products and training guides that everyone needs to kick off their anal journey as safely, knowledgeably, and pleasurably as possible. If nothing else, you’d be giving yourself the gift of booty education this holiday season. You’ve already baked all the different breads. Why not learn something else?
Happy holidays, friends! Well, maybe not happy, because, you know… 2020. But may your holiday season be as pleasurable as possible. These toys can definitely help.
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.
IMAGES: Pexels, GIPHY, Sweet Vibes, Honey Birdette, Lovers, Lovehoney (2), Zumio, CalExotics (2), Unbound, Emojibator, Organic Loven, Le Wand, Satisfyer, b-Vibe
Let’s have a moment of silence for all the hookups that can’t happen right now due to social distancing orders…. andddd now let’s move on. If you’re single, thirsty, bored, and stuck inside without anyone to bang hang with at the moment, then you’re well aware by now that the struggle is real AF. But there’s good news! You’ve got the solution right at your fingertips… literally. There are just about a million solo sex toys on the market (not an official figure), and we have nothing but time (to try them all out).
“Masturbation is not only pleasurable, it’s also extraordinarily healthy and one of the safest ways to boost a positive connection to self while reducing stress and supporting overall health and well-being, which is exactly what we need during this quarantine,” says Megwyn White, somatic sensuality guide and director of education at Satisfyer, a pleasure product company. “So next time you feel stressed, under the weather, or can’t sleep, try a little self-love. It can make a real difference in shifting your state and giving your body the boost it needs.” Say no more, sis. Here are some of the best solo sex toys you need to try during isolation that won’t break your bank and will give you that ~release~ you’ve been desperately craving.
1. Zumio X
If you thrive on strong vibrations, then you gotta get a Zumio. This thing is POWERFUL but also super quiet, which is perfect if you’re quarantined with family or roommates right now. It also has a trademarked tip called the SpiroTip that rotates in super small circles for hyper-pinpointed action. It feels ah-mazing.
2. Honey Birdette Taurus
I recently tried the Taurus because I’m a newfound wand vibrator fan. Trust me, a sex toy-loving Scorpio: You need this wand. It comes in black or purple, offers five different (strong) intensities, and is 100% waterproof. It’s the perfect thing to spice up the showers you’ve only been taking twice a week. Nope, just me? K, moving right along.
3. The Chickie Emojibator
Yes, this is a sex toy shaped like a baby chick. Yes, it looks just like the emoji. And it’s actually f*cking awesome. With eight vibration settings and eight more suction settings, your clit is getting allllll the love it wants and needs with this body-safe silicone chickie. The Emojibator brand also sells chili pepper and eggplant emoji vibes. Do with that info as you will.
4. Le Wand Bow
Okay, first off let’s mention how sleek and sexy stainless steel sex toys are. Now, let’s talk about how amazing Le Wand’s Bow is. If you love internal play, the Bow is specifically designed to curve toward the G-spot or P-spot areas for maximum penetrative pleasure. It’s even ribbed for added sensation. Bonus: You can also throw it in the fridge to experiment with temperature play. You’re welcome.
5. CalExotics California Dreaming Malibu Minx
Do you like penetrative toys? What about clit suction toys? What would you say if I told you there’s a brand out there that combined those two into one magical product? Yup. CalExotics created a penetrating, clit sucking vibrator that will rock. your. world. The Malibu Minx has 10 different vibration patterns and three vibrating speeds to rotate and enjoy. Oh, and did I mention this thing is also waterproof? It’s basically the whole package.
6. Satisfyer Pro 2
White says this device is a brand best-seller and ideal for solo stimulation. Why? Because “it uses Satisfyer’s proprietary Air-Pulse Technology and mimics the sensations of oral sex through pressure waves which activate the sensitive 8,000 nerve endings of the clitoral glans.” That sounds super science-y and official, so let me just say that I’ve used it and can confirm that it definitely stimulates those nerve endings. 10/10 would recommend (which is why it’s on this list).
7. Satisfyer Strengthening Balls
I know what you’re thinking. Kegel balls??? Yep. According to White, “wearing the love beads for about 15 minutes a day trains your pelvic floor muscles, the muscles that enable you to experience breathtaking orgasms.” And what better time to start training than now in quarantine, amiright? Upon insertion, here’s her advice on how to use it: “Inhale deeply to expand the lower abdomen, and then slowly exhale as you concentrate on contracting the muscles of the vaginal canal, and then release allowing orgasmic energy to ripen within the body. Be mindful to focus on the deeper muscles and not to grip the glutes or abdomen.” She also recommends using this with the Pro 2 (above) to achieve a ~blended orgasm.~
8. Snug Plugs
Maybe you want to start exploring butt stuff during the quarantine. If you haven’t ventured into anal territory yet, but(t) you’re curious about how it feels and what it’s like, train yourself with some colorful weighted Snug Plugs. They come in four different sizes so you can size up or down as necessary. Because if you aren’t learning a new skill with all this free time, what have you really been doing with your time? (JK, I’ve been lazy AF and haven’t learned any new skills.)
9. Lovehoney Gyr8tor
I tested this thing out at sex camp last year, and it’s WILD. This pleasure product is futuristic AF… like, it literally gyrates. WTF is gyration? This thing spins around in circles and dances to the beat of its own rhythm with 12 (!!) different settings inside your vagina, and it feels like no other toy you’ve tried before. I promise.
Image: Stas Svechnikov / Unsplash; Amazon (2); Lovehoney; Babeland; Satisfyer (2); Le Wand Massager; Emojibator; Honey Birdette
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.
