Presented by SkinnyPop
At this point, it’s not a hot take to complain that there are too many streaming services, but I’ll just say it anyway: there are TOO MANY streaming services. Every time I feel like I’m caught up on whichever shows we’re all watching at any given time, I get hit with DMs asking why I haven’t posted about on . It’s too much!
Honestly, I kind of miss the days when all we had was Netflix. Remember that? Netflix and chill was a cultural reset, and they only had like, two original shows that you actually cared about watching. Simpler times. While I love having options, sometimes I just want to open up Netflix and watch whatever is presented to me first. So, in the spirit of simplicity, here’s a breakdown of the best sh*t coming to Netflix this month.
‘Downton Abbey’ – 6/1
If you’re looking for an emotional show to sink your teeth into, it is my pleasure to report that all six seasons of Downton Abbey are now on Netflix. If you’ve never watched, the show follows the family and the servants at an English manor house in the early 1900s. You might be unsure about a show where people wear ball gowns to dinner, but don’t worry, there’s no shortage of messy drama here. Also, you’ll cry… a lot.
‘Happy Endings’ – 6/1
Ever since it ended in 2013, I’ve constantly heard people talk about how Happy Endings is underrated, which makes me wonder if it’s actually underrated, but whatever. This sitcom about a group of twenty- and thirty-something friends living in Chicago is hilarious, and you should watch it whether it’s appropriately rated or not. The only downside is that there are only three seasons, so you’ll be miserable when you finish all the episodes in a week and a half.
‘The Big Lebowski’ – 6/1
Father’s Day is right around the corner, and Netflix really came through this year by adding The Big Lebowski. If this isn’t one of your dad’s favorite movies, it probably actually is, and he just doesn’t remember what it’s called. This one isn’t exactly my cup of tea (don’t @ me), but it’s a cult classic, and everyone should see Jeff Bridges as The Dude at least once.
‘Dirty John’ Season 2 – 6/1
True crime fans, listen up. The second season of Dirty John is finally on Netflix, but it’s a completely new story from season one. Season two tells the true story of Betty Broderick, a New York woman who was convicted of murdering her ex-husband in San Diego in 1989. The case got a ton of media attention at the time, so this is the kind of show you can watch in one sitting, then go on a Reddit deep dive about all the details they inevitably left out or fictionalized.
‘Awake’ – 6/9
Netflix drops original movies these days faster than I dropped my dating standards post-quarantine, but this one looks like it could be worth watching. In Awake, a ~mysterious global event~ wipes out all electronic devices, and makes it so that humans are unable to sleep. As the entire world spirals out of control, one woman (played by Gina Rodriguez) realizes that her daughter may be the answer to whatever the f*ck is going on. Looks creepy, I’m in.
‘Lupin’ Part 2 – 6/11
Lupin, the French show about a professional thief, was one of Netflix’s biggest international hits when it first dropped in January, but they did that obnoxious thing where they split the season in half and only gave us five episodes. Well, now we’re finally getting part two, which is sadly still only five more episodes. Whatever, we’ll take it.
‘Silver Linings Playbook’ – 6/17
I loved Silver Linings Playbook when it came out (I saw it twice in theaters). Now it feels like a time capsule to a moment when Jennifer Lawrence was the most beloved person on the planet, and we were just finding out that Bradley Cooper can like, kind of act? This one still holds a special place in my heart, and if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend stocking up on SkinnyPop for a movie night with friends.
‘Elite’ Season 4 – 6/18
The hot American teens of Euphoria are taking FOREVER to come back with another season, but luckily the hot Spanish teens of Elite are here to hold us over. If you’ve never watched, it’s kind of like a Gossip Girl vibe, but way edgier than the CW would have ever allowed. Also, Netflix already renewed it for a fifth season that will be coming in 2022, so you don’t have to worry about it getting canceled.
Images: NIETE/NETFLIX; Giphy (5); Rotten Tomatoes (2), Netflix / YouTube
The only exciting part of March is the hope for a warm day and your potential drinking plans for St. Patrick’s Day (even though you aren’t even Irish). It’s kinda easy to hate March—it’s really just a filler month. Like, it’s not exactly spring yet, but everyone is so over winter (as if we were we ever into it). Sure, there’s March Madness, but that doesn’t even start until mid-March, and anyway, we know you’ll forget to check your bracket like, the day after you fill it out, and you only chose UCLA to win because you hooked up with a guy who went there one time.
But here’s something we can truly celebrate this March: binging all the new shows and movies on Netflix. From classic rom-coms to new seasons of our faves, there’s a lot in store for us this month on Netflix. Grab your weighted blanket, a bottle of wine, and your bag of SkinnyPop, and get ready to spend countless hours on your living room couch.
‘He’s Just Not That Into You’
Every woman is aware of the basic concept that if a man is not showing interest in you, he really, genuinely, does not have any interest in you. Seems easy in theory, but in practice, we’ve all been through the mental gymnastics that is trying to convince ourselves otherwise. I blame this disconnect on society and movies like this one, that claim to present a realistic take on how relationships actually work, when in reality, they just feed us more of the same bullsh*t like “you’re the exception, not the rule”. But whatever, still a good movie to watch on your couch with a bottle of red.
‘Life As We Know It’
This romantic comedy is the perfect lighthearted movie to watch while texting, even though the premise is slightly grim. Basically, rom-com royalty Katherine Heigl (Holly) and Josh Dumahel (Messer) are set up on a blind date by their married friends (which goes horribly). However, when their friends die in a car accident, Messer and Holly are named the guardians of their toddler and have to co-parent. Even though Messer is the stereotypical frat boy you hooked up with once in the Sig Chi basement and you wonder why he never calls, he ends up being Prince Charming, and we forget the douchey side of him even existed. Spoiler Alert: This doesn’t happen in real life.
No slumber party of any kind can ever live up to this. Four best friends on a scavenger hunt, which involves stealing a guy’s underwear, breaking into nightclubs, and—perhaps the most radical one of all, considering the girls in this movie are supposed to be in EIGHTH GRADE—hijacking one of their dads’ cars to finish all their tasks. All to secure the ever-coveted lunchroom spot next to the water fountain once they reach high school. Anyone who’s seen this movie can try and try, but your slumber “party” will always end up being you and a friend eating way too many chocolate chip cookies, crying to a rom-com, and passing out by 11pm. If you manage to replicate this movie in real life, please give me a call.
‘The Shawshank Redemption’
Without giving away too much, The Shawshank Redemption is about banker Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins), who was sentenced to life in prison after being wrongfully convicted for the murder of his wife and her lover. While in prison, he befriends Red (Morgan Freeman), who teaches him about life and prison. Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins? Like are you kidding me? It cannot get better. If you haven’t seen it, make sure you have nothing planned besides the movie for the day. You will need 24 hours to absorb it all.
This is one of those movies that follows like a million different storylines, and they’re all sort of connected at the end and your mind is blown. Valentine’s Day compiles the stories of a bunch of different couples and how they celebrate the day, from planning a proposal to planning to lose their virginity to planning an “I Hate Valentine’s Day” party. Mark me as attending for that one. Okay, so I love this movie, mostly because every beautiful person at the end of the 2000s is in it, and also Taylor Swift for some reason.
Anything directed by Seth Rogen is bound to be hysterical, so you def won’t be disappointed watching this. The Interview is about two guys who run a celebrity tabloid show—and the show’s biggest fan is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un. The CIA hears of their plans to travel to North Korea to interview him, and recruits the two to assassinate him instead. Remember when real-life Kim Jong-Un was pissed about this movie? Lol, good times.
‘Ghosts of Girlfriends Past’
Serial womanizer Connor Mead (Matthew McConaughey) attends his brother’s wedding and basically convinces his brother not to get married. But after he is visited by his dead uncle, who tells him that he is wrong about women and relationships, Connor has a transformation and has to save the wedding. Not before he is haunted by all his ex-girlfriends, who come to teach him a lesson, of course. Wow, that’s literally like my dream. *Presses play*
‘Ugly Delicious’: Season 2
Chef David Chang (who runs the Momofuku restaurants) travels around the world tasting the best, but maybe not best-looking, food from different cultures and explores how it evolves. Think cooking show-meets-history-meets-mouthwatering meals. Chang usually brings some celebrities along with him, and season 2 features some of my faves, Nick Kroll and Padma Lakshmi. Make sure you have your delivery ready before diving in.
‘On My Block’: Season 3
It might be just another show navigating the horrors of high school, but On My Block is one of our faves for its diverse cast and its ability to make us laugh and cry in the same episode. And it’s back for season 3. If you’re into teen drama and danger, get started catching up before starting season 3. If you’ve already binged, then I know you’re just as excited as I am to find out who kidnapped Jamal, Ruby, Cesar, and Monse in the literal last second of season 2. I have been on the edge of my seat for an entire year.
‘Elite’: Season 3
Guess what? Another teen drama series. Elite is like the Gossip Girl of Madrid, Spain, and it is just as scandalous and unbelievable. High schoolers wear cute uniforms and designer dresses to parties and clubs, which they attend on weekdays like it’s NBD. There’s a murder. A pregnancy scandal. Drug dealers. Steamy hookups. Elite has it all. If you want to brush up on your high school Spanish, this is the one for you (and you will learn all the slang, too). Even if you don’t know Spanish, there are subtitles, and I promise you will be obsessed.
‘Greenhouse Academy’: Season 4
After their mother dies in an astronaut accident (as one does), siblings Alex and Hayley Woods enroll at a private boarding school for gifted future leaders. The siblings become rivals when they join two competing houses at the school, which gives me major Harry Potter vibes. However, when they discover a plot to destroy the world, the two houses have to work together. Let’s not forget that these heroes still have to deal with the trials and tribulations of high school. What could go wrong?
‘Ozark’: Season 3
Jason Bateman (Martin “Marty” Byrde) stars in this crime series, which begins when Marty has to move his family from the suburbs in Chicago to the Ozarks in Missouri in order to grow his money-laundering scheme, but soon gets involved with local crime groups there. Ok, yes please. This is everything you’re looking for in a suspenseful show. The show is fiction, but I know all you true crime fans will be all for this. I’m sure the third season will include just as many deaths and shady characters as the first two, and I’m already binging.
‘Self-Made: Inspired by the Life of Madam C.J. Walker’
This new series is about to be epic. Self-Made is based on the novel On Her Own Ground, by A’Lelia Bundles, and tells the story of Madam C. J. Walker. She rose from poverty to become the first American woman to be a self-made millionaire by creating specialized hair products for African American hair care. This is the perfect watch during Women’s History Month, and I can’t wait to watch Octavia Spencer kill this role.
Now, here comes the sad part. Here are the movies and shows leaving Netflix this month: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers , P.S. I Love You ,The Dark Knight, New York Minute, Hairspray, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, Charlie’s Angels, A Wrinkle in Time, Eat Pray Love, Men in Black, Men in Black 2, and Black Panther (which is now on Disney+). Sad!
Images: GIPHY (12); Tumblr (1)
Hellooooo 2020. Not only are we celebrating this new decade, but Netflix is too. This decade flew by. I mean, don’t you remember good old 2010? I was wearing braces and watching Hannah Montana every night and worrying about what I would be wearing for #BatMitzvahSzn, what were you doing? Though I still watch Hannah Montana on Disney+ today, Netflix has brought in the new decade with some new (and old) amazing shows and movies. Since we’re all going to be deathly hungover and not moving from our beds on New Year’s Day, I thought I’d round up what’s going to be new on Netflix in January. Forget about those resolutions, grab some SkinnyPop and let’s get started.
‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’
Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller? You’ve probably seen this movie a million times at sleepaway camp and can quote every line, making it great background noise while you scroll through Instagram.
‘A Cinderella Story’
Can we just talk about how Hilary Duff (Sam Montgomery) wore a wedding dress to her High School Halloween party? Like um, what? And also how her entire identity is obscured just by covering the skin around her eyes? Plot holes aside, this movie is a classic and Hilary Duff deserves the world.
J.Lo stars in this feel-good funny movie to watch on a boring day. If you have ever met, dated, or even married a “Mama’s Boy,” you can totally relate to their horrible challenging mothers.
‘New York Minute’
2004 Mary-Kate and Ashley star as two teenage girls who find themselves dealing with many problems while adventuring through Manhattan on a school day. Which sounds like every other Mary-Kate and Ashley movie, just with the city switched out, and that’s because it is. My favorite part is Eugene Levy (Max Lomax), the school’s obsessive truant officer, following their every footstep to try and catch them.
‘Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory’ and ‘Charlie And The Chocolate Factory’
The classic Gene Wilder and new(ish) Johnny Depp films will both be available for you to watch in January while you binge eat chocolate. Not gonna lie, swimming in a pool of chocolate like Augustus Gloop did is still a dream of mine… if I drown, so be it.
‘Big Fat Liar’
Throwback to when Amanda Bynes was doing well and Frankie Muniz was relevant. Ah, the good old days. Big Fat Liar is such a classic. When Jason Shepherd’s (Frankie Muniz) class paper gets stolen by Hollywood producer Marty Wolf (Paul Giamatti) to turn into a movie, he travels to LA with his best friend Kaylee (Amanda Bynes), and tries to break into show business—literally.
Need I say more? Well, I will. Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried are on Netflix in one of our favorite movies to sing along with. Enjoy these songs being stuck in your head for days…
Netflix can’t get enough of Meryl Streep, obviously. But seriously, this movie is fantastic and depicts the true story of efforts made by The Washington Post journalists to publish the Pentagon Papers. Learn your history, betches.
I’ve seen Inception. You’ve seen Inception. Every guy who thinks he’s deep has seen Inception and claims it’s his favorite movie. Still, it’s got Leo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon Levitt, so I don’t know what else you really need. Plus you can get high and debate if it really was ~all a dream~
‘Spinning Out’: Netflix Original Series
This new series is about Kat Baker, a competitive figure skater who dreams about making it to the Olympics. After she takes a disastrous fall, she is taken out of the competition and her dream. But then, a boy appears (as always) and helps Kat continue her career in skating as a duo. Together, they face challenges, injuries, and some emotional breakdowns. Get your tissues prepared.
‘Grace and Frankie’: Season 6
After a long wait, one of our favorite pairs are back on Netflix with a new season. There isn’t too much info on what’s going to happen in this season just yet, but we do know that Grace’s marriage to Nick at the end of last season will def carry some tension in the episodes to come.
‘The Ranch’: Final Season
So, I am in love with Ashton Kutcher and that is the main reason I have watched this show, NGL. The show is about Colt Bennett (Kutcher) who returns home to his family’s ranch in Colorado after a failed semi-pro football career to run the family ranching. business. And no, human trash bag Danny Masterson isn’t in the final episodes, so you don’t have to worry about supporting him.
‘Next in Fashion’
Hosted by Queer Eye’s Tan France and fashion it-girl Alexa Chung, this new fashion design competition is about to be epic. Over 10 episodes, 18 designers compete in rounds based on design trends and styles that influence what people wear worldwide. Can I say make it work??
‘AJ and the Queen’: Season 1
This is the first original comedy series by world-famous drag queen RuPaul. In the series, Ruby Red, a penniless drag queen, travels across America to hit different clubs while developing an unlikely sidekick named AJ—an 11-year old orphan. This new series is expected to have a lot of glitz and glam, so be excited.
‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’: Part 3
This series is the much darker and edgier reboot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch from our childhood. It follows the magical story of secret witch Sabrina Spellman (Kiernan Shipka). The new season will be thrilling, as Sabrina recovers from defeating her father Lucifer. Damn, and you thought your dad was evil because he cut you off from his credit card…
‘Good Girls’: Season 2
This crime-comedy series is about three suburban moms who enter a life of crime after robbing a grocery store. It’s a great show that stars Christina Hendricks, Mae Whitman, and Retta (Donna Meagle from Parks and Rec). Think Breaking Bad, but female and funny.
Usually, this would be the point where I would say, “It’s fine that some shows and movies are leaving because others will take their place!” but I can’t say that this month. I’m sad. Super sad. Friends will be leaving Netflix, and I can honestly say that I’m hurt and might not be okay. No one told me life was gonna be this way. Movies leaving Netflix this month are: Grease, Becoming Jane, Something’s Gotta Give, Good Luck Chuck, Zombieland, and Revolutionary Road. At least I can binge away my sorrows with all the new stuff, but it won’t be the same.
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December. What a beautiful month. Though the cold weather is not my favorite, December still has a lot to offer. These quick 31 days are filled with ugly sweaters, dreidels, Mariah Carey’s soul-filled voice, office holiday parties, latkes, and lots and lots of presents (hopefully). Oh, and a bunch of new movies and TV shows to binge and cuddle up to during the dreadfully cold days. Grab your newly cuffed bae and let’s get started. Here’s all the best stuff coming to a Netflix device near you this December.
Ryan Reynolds stars in this action-packed Netflix original movie about six people from all around the world who fake their deaths in order to take down well-known criminals…obviously, as one does. This sounds interesting to me for multiple reasons—the top being that Ryan Reynolds may be my favorite male actor to watch. He. Is. Beautiful. F*ck wait… Dave Franco will also be featured. I will be confused with which man to watch but I guess that’s a pretty good issue to have *wink wink*. This movie sounds crazy, in the best way.
Yeahhhhh you heard that right! Christina Aguilera and Cher make their way back to our computer screens in this 2010 cult classic. I know you all still sing “Show Me How You Burlesque” in the shower and maybe even try to dance to it. Okay so that’s just me, you caught me. But seriously, I’m so excited to rewatch this movie.
‘A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish’
Soooo, Gregg Sulkin is the romantic interest in this cheesy film, and I am so for it. I hope you all know who Gregg is, but if not, let me remind you. 2010. Wizards of Waverly Place. Mason, the Werewolf. Ok, he was also on Pretty Little Liars, but who’s counting. Anyway, this movie is a classic Cinderella tale, which we all pretend we’re over with, but really aren’t.
The ‘Austin Powers’ Trilogy
Get ready for all three Austin Powers movies to make their Netflix debut. Produced, written by, and starring Mike Myers as both Powers and Dr. Evil, Austin Powers is the perfect family movie night comedy to watch when home for the holidays.
‘A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby’
The threequel to the 2017 film A Christmas Prince and the 2018 film The Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding, you guessed it—this one involves a baby! If you haven’t seen the other films in this trilogy, I would suggest doing so before this one. Basically, they’re complete classics, and I’m just confused why these movies aren’t winning all the Oscars.
Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver star in this film about a stage director and his actor wife who struggle through a coast-to-coast divorce that pushes them to their extremes. The story is personal, captivating, and has connections to any family. This is definitely a great movie to watch during the winter season, and it’s already getting major Oscar buzz.
‘Soundtrack’ – Season 1
This new series is about music that connects the lives of random people throughout Los Angeles. This new High School Musical-esque show is coming to Netflix, and I couldn’t be more excited to watch while avoiding all my responsibilities. I have been waiting for the day to love a show as much as 10-year-old me loved High School Musical and this is finally it (I hope).
‘YOU’ – Season 2
Warning: Spoiler Alert
After the dramatic events of last season that saw Joe Goldberg (played by Penn Badgley—or Gossip Girl, as I still like to call him) murder his obsession Guinevere Beck, fans were left on a huge cliffhanger. In season 2, Joe has already moved on from Beck and has his eyes set on a brand-new victim. This thrilling series will have you at the edge of your seats…not gonna lie, way too scary for me. So, you all enjoy it and have fun with your nightmares! I’ll be sleeping like a baby, don’t mind me.
‘Fuller House’ – Season 5
Unlike the original show, Fuller House is centered around the next generation of Tanneritos: D.J., Stephanie, and D.J.’s quirky best friend, Kimmy Gibbler. Unfortunately, still no Olsen twins, which is pretty upsetting. But Fuller House‘s fifth and final season will welcome back several beloved Full House characters, including Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and John Stamos. It doesn’t look like Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin), will be coming back due to her, um, legal situation, but I’m excited for the other characters to make their appearances. After this season, the Full House journey is officially coming to a close. Enjoy the Tanners while you can!
‘Glow Up’ – Season 1
This show is for you makeup lovers out there! On this new show, aspiring makeup artists battle to be named Britain’s next makeup star. According to Netflix, “they navigate colorful challenges to win a career-making opportunity in the beauty industry”. This intense competition will reveal the amazing things makeup can do and its ability to transform you, and probably has some amazing British accents to make it even better.
I hope you’re as excited about these movies and shows as I am. I am very ready for some new stuff in my Netflix queue, and I’m assuming the same goes for you. But when one door opens, another one closes, and there are a bunch of great movies and shows leaving Netflix this month too, including: Daddy Day Care, all the Rocky movies, The Pink Panther, Wet Hot American Summer, Billy Elliot, Frasier, About A Boy, Christmas with the Kranks, Get Santa, Leap Year, Mona Lisa Smile, and Schindler’s List. Sad! Binge these babies before time is up! Starting…now. Good luck!
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You made it through Thanksgiving, but there’s like, so much more holiday season to endure. That means more family, more spending money, more office parties, and more blizzards. What a joyous season. The only good part about December is that it means 2018 is slowly coming to an end. That’s a good thing at least. So to close out the year, here are some of our top movies and TV shows for you to watch on Netflix this December.
Dec 1: ‘The Big Lebowski’
My ex-boyfriend’s Instagram bio was “I don’t roll on Shabbos” and I thought that was a reference to rolling joints. Turns out it’s from this movie, which is about bowling. Basically, these two guys share the same name, Jeffrey Lebowski. But like, one’s an avid bowler and one’s a millionaire whose wife gets kidnapped. Millionaire Jeff doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, so he hires bowling star Jeff to go pay his wife’s ransom. Obviously, sh*t goes wrong because you trusted a guy who spends his time in rented shoes with your money and wife’s life. This movie is apparently a “cult favorite” and my ex-boyfriend’s, so go watch it.
Dec 1: ‘Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs’
This movie is pure nostalgia. Remember the book we all read and loved in like, elementary school or whatever? This is that, but with a twist. Flint Lockwood sucks at inventing things, but one day makes a food machine that flies up into the atmosphere and actually works. His town is f*cking thrilled (as one would be) but end up getting too greedy and fat making the machine go haywire. IDK about you, but this movie f*cking scared me when it originally came out in 2009. People were legit getting squashed by cheeseburgers and spaghetti tornados coming from the sky. Now thinking about it, that sounds like a pretty good way to go.
Dec 1: ‘8 Mile’
Once you’ve binged Lady Gaga and Demi Lovato’s documentaries, you can move on to this. It’s not really a documentary, but more ~based on a true story~. Eminem plays Jimmy, a guy from Detroit who hates his life working at a car factory and want to be a rapper. Brittany Murphy (RIP) plays Jimmy’s love interest and has sex with him in the car factory cause she finds it hot that he stands up for his gay co-worker, Paul, who was getting insulted via rap battle. If that’s not reason enough to watch this, here’s another: Mom’s spaghetti.
Dec 7: ‘Free Rein: The 12 Neighs of Christmas’
If you’ve already watched The Princess Switch and are still in need of your terribly wonderful cheesy Christmas movie, look no further. This movie is based on the show Free Rein, a British TV series with major horse-girl energy. Zoe drops a Christmas ornament and somehow discovers a ~family secret~. Who TF hides family secrets inside Christmas ornaments? How did you even get it in there anyways? This movie includes a Mistletoe Ball, evil b*tch boss, hot elf man, and some sort of Santa in a shack—I like it already.
Dec 7: ‘Dumplin’
This movie is what would happen if Toddlers & Tiaras suddenly became woke. The movie stars plus-size teen Willowdean Dickson (find a more southern name, I actually dare you), who signs up for her mom’s pageant because she wants to start a “revolution in heels”. This is the feminist, body-loving movie I’ve been waiting for. I feel like this is a role Rachel Green would’ve died for had she taken up an acting career. I’m just praying it doesn’t turn out like Sierra Burgees Is A Loser because that was an abomination. Besides, how could something with Jen Aniston AND Dolly Parton SINGING be bad? The answer is simple, it cannot.
Dec 7: ‘The American Meme’
Be #cultured and spend your time watching a documentary starring the likes of Paris Hilton, The Fat Jewish, Emily Ratajkowski, Hailey Baldwin, and more. Watch how these influencers with literally no talent other than posting photos make a sh*t ton more money than you. After showing at the Tribeca Film Festival earlier this year, Netflix jumped to purchase this work of art. Any movie where Paris Hilton and The Fat Jewish are quoted as experts is one I want to see. This documentary may or may not be educational, but either way, it’s going to be entertaining.
Dec 16: ‘Baby Mama’
This movie is one of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s best works. Kate, played by Tina Fey, is a single businesswoman who put her career before her personal life and forgets to have a baby. The struggle is f*cking real. She can’t get pregnant or adopt, so she hires Angie, played by Amy Poehler, as the surrogate. Angie fakes her pregnancy for a little while thinking she could just steal Kate’s money and peace. But then she ends up actually being pregnant with her own baby.
Dec 14: ‘Fuller House’ Season 4
This show is absolute garbage yet I find myself binge watching it with a half-empty bottle of wine more often than not. Nothing will ever live up to the original Full House, but this show has made it four seasons, so I guess it has to be kind of good? Mary-Kate and/or Ashley have still not returned as Michelle and that’s thoroughly disappointing. But there’s a Christmas episode included in this season, so it’s totally festive. Joey dresses up as Santa so like, that might be charming or scary depending on who you are. And we get to find out the fate of Danny Tanner’s love life after Vicky made a return at the end of season three. Thrilling.
Dec 14: ‘Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina: A Midwinter’s Tale’
Even though it only came out a month ago, you’ve probably already binged the entire season of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. If you aren’t scared sh*tless of this show by now, get ready for their holiday special. Christmas time means that the Church of Night (a totally not suspicious name) celebrates the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. They all sit around a fire and tell ghost stories. Sounds cute and harmless until you remember that they all literally worship the devil. This is def not your traditional Hallmark holiday special, but if you’re a spooky b*tch, you’ll enjoy it.
Dec 14: ‘The Fix’
Does reading about the state of our crumbling world make you want to hide in a cave for the rest of existence? Yes? Then this is the show for you. Netflix’s latest panel show hosts top comedians and poses them with questions about how to solve some of the world’s greatest conundrums. Will they solve anything? Probably not. Will they be a hell of a lot closer than our current government is to solving anything? Definitely.
Dec 21: ‘Back With The Ex’
The title of this show is also known as the worst possible text message you could ever send to or receive from your best friend. This Australian reality show takes four singles and reconnects them with their exes. I think I would rather tweeze every hair on my body than partake in this, but I’m totally down to watch other people try. The only thing that would make this show better is if there was a Bachelor(ette) spin-off where they put former couples back in the mansion together. I want a full Jake and Vienna breakup meltdown all over again.
Dec 25: ‘Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown’ Season 11
The second last season of Anthony Bourdain’s show is coming to Netflix to on Christmas, how pleasant. *Wipes tears*. As a world-famous chef and travel documentarian, Bourdain explores unusual foods and fascinating places around the world. This season takes us through West Virginia, Uruguay, Newfoundland, Armenia, Hong Kong, Berlin, Louisiana, and Bhutan.
Dec 26: ‘YOU’
Just in case you needed to hate Dan Humphrey a little more, here it is. Penn Badgley plays Joe Goldberg, a bookstore owner (classic Dan) who develops a crush on an aspiring writer, Beck. Aw, cute. Until it’s not. Turns out, Beck has sh*t privacy settings and Joe knows a thing or two about stalking people (perhaps from his days as Gossip Girl?). In true Dan Humphrey fashion, what starts out as an innocent crush on Serena Beck eventually turns like, criminal. Explore the blurred lines between love-struck or dangerously obsessed with this feel-good show that reminds us all that men are trash.
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