If you, like me, spent the last week exchanging intimate conversation with only your dog and the weird crack on your ceiling, then welcome to quarantine life, betch! This is the bad place. It’s been a weird few days, friends, and I doubt it’s going to get any less weird in the coming weeks. I can confidently say that social distancing has changed me, and it’s changed me for the worse. It’s reduced me to a person who cooks and does home workouts—and I don’t like it one bit! But I will say spending more than 72 hours alone in my apartment with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company has made me reevaluate my skin care journey. And by “reevaluate” I mean think about at all. It’s hard not to when the only face you see all day is yours and it’s looking back at you in the mirror with last night’s pizza sauce on it. But no more! Today is a new day. And since I’m the kind of person who takes one step forward, and then does the entire cha-cha slide backward, I’ve decided that my journey to clearer, softer, more age-defying skin can only be done with a canned hard seltzer in my hand. Baby steps, people. So here’s a list of the best spiked seltzer and face mask pairings to get you started on your quarantine skin care journey.
White Claw Pure + Detox Clay Mask
The time for panic-eating entire boxes of Cheez-Its, ice cream cartons, and the family-size Stouffer’s mac n cheese you bought “just in case” is right tf now. And you know what washes down all of that processed cheese and sodium? White Claw Pure! Unlike other White Claws, White Claw Pure is flavorless so it cuts out all the bullsh*t and feels more… detoxifying? Okay, that’s a stretch, even for me, but it does taste crisp AF which is why I HIGHLY recommend pairing it with L’Oréal’s Pure-Clay Detox & Brighten mask. Like your insides after sippin’ on this knock-off vodka soda, your face will feel pure as hell after using this mask. Coming in at $12, you won’t find a cheaper beauty product, and also, this one actually works. It’s a super efficient clay mask that clears congested and/or dull skin, illuminating skin for a healthier glow. Plus, you can usually find it in the grocery store skincare aisle so just tack it onto your list while you’re there trying to barter for the last roll of toilet paper.
Natty Light Aloha Beaches + Peel Off Mask
Natty Light is the brand of alcohol preferred by people who frequent frat houses and the first guy I ever lied to about giving me an orgasm. No hard feelings, Paul! (Seriously, nothing hard. at. all.) If a global pandemic wasn’t sufficient enough evidence that God is trying to smite us all down so She can start humanity anew, then Natty Light releasing a spiked seltzer should be evidence enough. If you’re still brand loyal to Natty Light, then I’m assuming you’re also brand loyal to the face masks sold in the sale section of Walmart. I assume. For you, my friend, Masque Bar Peel Off Mask is going to be your go-to mask. Like Natty Light’s Aloha Beaches, both are cheap AF but still v effective. It’ll get the job done if you’re looking to kill time between second dinner and rekindling things with your ex from high school just to feel something again.
Bon & Viv Clementine Hibiscus + Hydrating Mask
Drinking Bon & Viv is basically like water, which is not a scientific fact, just my personal opinion. It’s light, refreshing, and I drink 8 glasses of it a day. It’s by far my favorite brand of spiked seltzers, which is why I’m pairing it with one of my favorite masks of all time. Hydrating masks, like Neutrogena’s Hydro Boost face mask, go perfectly with Bon & Viv. Made with purified hyaluronic acid, this sheet mask gives instant results—and I really mean that. Your skin will go from looking dry and flakey to supple and glowy in minutes, and the best part is you don’t even have to drink water to do it!! Why does it work so well? Well, unlike other sheet masks, Neutrogena’s Hydro Boost uses unique hydrogel material to seal in the formula for maximum absorption into your skin. As a bonus, pair it with the Hydro-Boost gel cream moisturizer and literally never have sh*tty skin again.
Seagram Escapes Tropical Rose + Tula Mask
You’ve been influenced and you’ve been influenced hard. You’re the kind of girl that only started drinking spiked seltzers in the first place because you saw it via a swipe-up code three summers ago. While Seagram Escapes Tropical Rose isn’t a seltzer per se, it is canned, and its targeted audience is people who consider Shein products actual fashion, so it counts. Also, the man behind this beverage is none other than Mr. The Most Dramatic Season Ever himself: Chris Harrison. I’m pairing this beverage with Tula’s Exfoliating Treatment Mask because what goes together more than a beverage created by an influencer and a face mask influencers are constantly trying to pimp out to us on Instagram? My heart hurts me to say this, but I’m actually a fan of Tula’s products (it’s me, I’VE BEEN INFLUENCED). I’m a fan of this mask in particular. It’s clay-based, so its purpose is to exfoliate and detox, but the antioxidant-rich blueberry extract in it keeps your skin hydrated for smoother, more even-toned skin. I recommend drinking the Tropical Rose whilst wearing the mask and DMing people on dating apps with Chris Harrison’s best lines. It’s what he would want for us during the quarantine!!
Orange Truly + Hangover Mask
Just because I’m stuck in my apartment for the foreseeable future and literally barred from entering any establishment that sells alcohol as per the shelter in place law for my state, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to turn up, okay!! Instead of pounding drinks at the bars until I reach a point where I think it’s socially acceptable to publicly blast “Lose You To Love Me” from my phone and cry softly into my hands, I’ll just be doing that exact same thing but on my couch while on Instagram Live. What I’m saying is, a pandemic isn’t going to get between me and my toxic choices, so I know I’ll be needing a hangover fix. While I admit the orange Truly isn’t my favorite, someone once said to me it smells like emergen-C, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Think of it like drinking a screwdriver but with less calories and, like, sadder. While you’re working on that hair of the dog, pair it with the Drunk Elephant D-balm Electrolyte Waterfacial Mask. Packed with electrolytes, it’s like gatorade for the skin. You’re welcome in advance.
Wild Basin Cucumber Peach + Gold Foil Mask
Images: RossHelen / Shutterstock.com; Amazon (5); blissworld.com
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If you’ve ever wandered down the skin care aisle of Sephora, you’ve probably spotted some absurdly priced skin care products. And while yes, there are plenty of overpriced face masks that are absolute garbage, there ARE some costly face masks that are actually worth your hard-earned coin. So whether you’re looking to moisturize your dry, flaky skin; brighten your dull, post-binge drinking complexion; or firm up those fine lines, we’ve rounded up the best expensive masks, and some of their cheaper dupes, for when you’re ready to take masking seriously and graduate from those generic brand masks that you only throw on when you’re having a girl’s night in.
To Lift And Firm
Splurge: La Mer The Lifting and Firming Mask
Though painfully expensive (like most of La Mer’s products), their lifting and firming leave-on cream mask will literally make you look like you got a face-lift, minus the recovery time and…ya know, the whole surgery aspect. The mask uses La Mer’s exclusive Miracle Broth, which is a serum strength formula that works in synergy with the skin’s natural renewal process to refine, treat, and firm up the face and neck.
Save: Bio-Miracle Anti-Aging and Moisturizing Face Mask, Vitamin C
If you aren’t already using Vitamin C on your skin, then you need to start. The antioxidant not only stimulates collagen production to give a lifting effect, but it also acts as a preventative to protect skin from aging free radicals. In other words, cop this five-pack of Bio-Miracle’s Vitamin C sheet masks for a cheaper alternative to lifting and firming your face and neck.
To Clean Your Pores
Splurge: Glamglow Super Mud Clearing Treatment
If you’re one of those people who constantly passes out drunk with their makeup still on, Glamglow’s Super Mud Clearing Treatment should become a staple in your beauty cabinet. In just one use the mask clears and purifies skin to get rid of impurities and blackheads and makes skin brighter and smoother so you can instantly reverse the damage of sleeping with your makeup on… at least until next weekend.
Save: Sephora Mud Mask Purifying & Mattifying
Sephora’s Mud Mask also does a good job of ridding your face of impurities and excess oils and leaves your skin with a matte finish without making it super dry. And at $10, you’ll have a clear complexion and can still afford all those new bathing suits you have saved in your shopping cart.
Splurge: Drunk Elephant’s T.L.C. Sukari Babyfacial
If I had to choose only one skin care product to use for the rest of eternity, it would hands down be Drunk Elephant’s T.L.C. Sukari Babyfacial. The exfoliating face mask is perfect for any skin type, and as the name suggests, it leaves your skin looking and feeling like you just got a facial. It’s worth every penny. It exfoliates, clarifies, dramatically improves texture, and literally leaves you with a glowing complexion. Like all of Drunk Elephant’s products, Babyfacial is made with only clean ingredients, meaning you won’t find silicones, chemical sunscreens, dyes, perfumes, or any other stuff that you shouldn’t be putting on your skin.
Save: L’Oréal Exfoliating & Refining, Pure-Clay Mask
If you’re not going to take my word for splurging on Drunk Elephant’s Babyfacial, then at least do yourself a favor and grab L’Oréal’s Pure-Clay Exfoliating mask next time you’re in your local drugstore. The mask uses red algae (in addition to three detoxifying clays) to exfoliate, unclog and tighten pores. What’s more? The mask’s red hue makes for a fun, non-basic self-love Sunday selfie.
Splurge: SK-II Facial Treatment Mask
Sk-II’s Facial Treatment Mask is here to prove that not all sheet masks are the same. Applying the facial treatment is kind of like immersing your skin in really expensive water that leaves your face as hydrated as possible. It loads the skin with Pitera—a fusion of vitamins, amino acids, minerals, and some other stuff—that helps to refine texture and address dryness, large pores, and an uneven skin tone. Basically, if you want the best of the best when it comes to sheet masks, Sk-II’s is your answer.
Save: Dr. Jart Dermask Water Jet Vital Hydra Solution
Dr. Jart’s $6 Vital Hydra Solution sheet mask is made with fine cellulose fiber to deeply penetrate (the skin) and give you a longer lasting hydration—which is more than you can say for your ex-boyfriend.
Splurge: Peter Thomas Roth 24k Gold Mask
Nothing says luxury like applying a face mask that is dripping in actual 24k gold just to brighten your skin. Peter Thomas Roth’s 24K Gold Mask is infused with real gold to help improve the appearance of skin firmness and leave you with an opulent glow. After using this mask just once, you’ll not only notice an insane difference in your complexion, but you also won’t ever want to go back to any other peasant face masks.
Save: Mario Badescu Rose Hips Mask
All right, if you can’t fathom paying 80 bucks to immerse your face in 24 karat gold in the name of skin care, then Mario Badescu’s Rose Hips Mask is your next best option to take your dull, hungover complexion to bright and glowy in just one use. While it isn’t full of luxurious ingredients, it is packed with rose hip oil and rose hips extract to brighten your lackluster complexion. And I mean, if you can’t afford gold, roses are a close second, right?
Images: Amazon (5); Dr. Jart; L’Oréal; Drunk Elephant; Sephora; Glamglow
Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.