A Quick 5-Step Beauty Routine To Help You Not Look Dead In The Morning

By the time you get to college, you pretty much have your going-out makeup routine down to a science. However, I think most of us can agree that 8am is not the time to break out a contour palette and smoky eye. When it comes to looking like you aren’t literally the walking dead, less is often more. If you can wake up early enough to do a 12-step routine every morning, more power to you. Or, if you literally couldn’t give less of a f*ck how you look in class or at work, go you. 

I, however, am a Libra who craves attention and affirmation from strangers. Thus, I’ve spent the last three years of my college career perfecting an effortlessly “pretty” look so that I can sit in a dark lecture hall every morning. For all of the wisdom I have developed through three years of simultaneously being a hot mess and somehow not looking like sh*t at 8am, keep reading.


In the most advanced scientific terms, serums really are THAT b*tch. The best way to both feel and look alive in the morning is to start with a solid, hydrated canvas. (I’m talking about your face.) Dull, dry skin just does not look as good as hydrated skin, no matter how much makeup you put on it. With better hydrated skin comes easier application for the rest of your makeup—or at the very least, higher confidence as you roll out of bed and run to class/work.

I read a sh*t ton of Sephora reviews and also follow Dr. Shereene Idriss (my Glossier, Allure, and American Board of Dermatology-endorsed queen) on Insta, so I am legally allowed to say this: go out and buy yourself a f*cking vitamin C serum. It has done wonders for me in terms of brightening my skin, helping with texture problems, and recurring acne spots. For the best results that will help give your skin that “dewy and effortless” look, be sure to look for ascorbic acid, the most stable and effective form of vitamin C, according to dermatologists.

Pearlessence Radiance Perfecting Serum

My vitamin C serum of choice is the Pearlessence Radiance Perfecting Serum, because Jonathan Van Ness said to use it. This serum has both vitamin C and hyaluronic acid, another ingredient that aids in plumping and soothing the skin. The Ordinary is also a great place to shop for serums, as they use high-quality, pure ingredients but do not mark up their items as heavily as other companies—meaning most of their serums are around $10.

The thing to keep in mind is that the more you prep your skin for each day with various serums or concentrated ingredients, the more refreshed and hydrated you will both look and feel. 


Is this 2018? No. But am I still jade rolling my face? Absolutely. I have terribly puffy under eyes, and this is often what makes you look the most tired after an all-nighter, or what can be a dead giveaway that you spent a few hours crying after an exam. The quickest and most effective way to help your eyes look a bit less puffy is to keep the jade roller in your fridge or freezer, and quickly roll upwards around the eye area and cheeks in the morning. The coolness helps eliminate swelling, and nothing really wakes you up quite like rubbing a cold rock on your face for a few minutes. 

herbivore Jade Facial Roller

Herbivore Jade Facial Roller

This is also a good hack to use on your neck when you get a little sore from studying or staring at a laptop for too long. Do not, however, let Gwyneth Paltrow scam you into spending a ton of money on one of these claiming it is “rose quartz” or whatever. 

Tinted Sunscreen (Or Moisturizer)

I know I sound like a mom telling you to put on sunscreen, but if you want to avoid looking like Yzma in 20 years, just f*cking use it! To kill two birds with one stone in the morning, buy a tinted one. Boom! You literally smear it all over your face for 20 seconds and have a slightly more uniform complexion, while also protecting yourself from sun damage.

Elta MD tinted sunscreen SPF 46

My go-to is the Elta MD tinted sunscreen SPF 46 because I read once that Kendall Jenner uses it and it also has a full five stars on Ulta’s website. As you can see, the standards for what I put on my face are really high. My favorite part about this sunscreen is the tint, as adding a light coloration really quickly in the morning can do wonders for making your complexion look a little smoother and glowy. You also don’t have to worry about harsh lines or patchy spots as you rush to put it on. A lighter, more transparent coat of color will not create the caked-on or streaky look that foundation often does if not applied carefully. 

Cream blush

When my idiot sister tried to show me this trick, I thought she was legit insane, but now I absolutely swear by it. In the morning, after applying your tinted moisturizer/sunscreen, take a cream blush, and LIGHTLY dab it above the apples of your cheeks and then down and on the tip of your nose. By applying it slightly above the apples of your cheeks, you draw the eyes up, which can provide a nice contrast to the exhausted eye bags almost all college students and people over the age of 23 are cursed with. 

Glossier Cloud Paint

The key word here, however, is “lightly.” If you try and recreate this with too much blush you will look like an absolute clown. I recommend using Glossier’s Cloud Paint for this. It is super lightweight, comes in a bunch of beautiful shades, and you only need to use a tiny bit for max effectiveness, making your $18 investment last ages. 

Natural Highlighter

Taking five seconds to dab on a bit of highlighter can give you a natural glow. The Wet n’ Wild MegaGlo Highlighting Powder is literally $6, and surprisingly good quality for a product you can find in a drugstore. Put it at the top of the cheekbones, the top of the nose, and a little on the center of your eyelid. Keep in mind that if you aren’t wearing a lot of other makeup, too much highlighter will look crazy. It’ll likely look less like a glow and more like you were snorting glitter. Remember the highlighter craze à la Jeffree Star? The one about blinding the nearest driver with the reflection coming off of the side of your face? Yeah, this is not that. 

wet n wild highlighting powder

Wet n’ Wild MegaGlo Highlighting Powder

I live and die by these products. However, you need to research various products to find what works for you. Seriously, I can’t stress this enough. Not every product will work the same on everyone. Regardless, these products should take you less than 10-15 minutes to apply in the morning before class. Hopefully, you’ll feel more confident as you integrate them into your morning routine. Now when you show up 20 minutes late to class with an iced coffee, you’ll look good doing it. 

Images: @iyunmai / Unsplash; Wet n’ Wild; Glossier; Dermstore; Amazon; Sephora

Betches may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link and purchase a product or service. The links are independently placed and do not influence editorial content.

Does Foundation Make Your Skin Suck?

Does foundation make your skin suck? The short, the frustrating answer is maybe. It’s possible that your foundation is making you break out, which is a huge bummer. But that doesn’t mean you need to forgo coverage in order to get good skin. Actually, it may be something else you’re doing wrong and not the makeup itself causing all the trouble on your face. (Go ahead, breathe a sigh of relief.) So before you toss your makeup bag and that $40 foundation you just bought, check to see if you’re committing one of these skin care sins.

1. You’re Using The Wrong Foundation

View this post on Instagram

Pro tip: just use the @bliss what a melon collection instead #ad

A post shared by Betches Media (@betches) on

If you feel that your base is breaking you out, it may be because you’re using the wrong one. “Look for a product that is non-comedogenic, meaning it shouldn’t obstruct pores and create acne,” says Los Angeles dermatologist Ava Shamban. This shouldn’t be that hard—these options often clearly say non-comedogenic on the bottle, but it also doesn’t hurt to take a quick scan of the ingredients label just to be sure. While you’re doing that, Shamban says to avoid sodium laurel sulfate, lanolin, coconut oil, and butyl stearate, since they’re the most common pore-clogging offenders. These formulas will tend to be more water-based and lighter in texture, which is another good sign a product won’t produce acne.

2. It Might Be How You’re Applying Your Product

Sometimes it’s not about the foundation, but it’s about what else is touching your face. I’m not psychic, but I know that you’re not cleaning your makeup brushes enough. Literally NO ONE DOES. “You want to wash them once a week,” recommends Shamban. Wow, ok, my entire life has been a lie. The reason is that when your brushes are damp, as they get from liquid makeup, it creates an ideal environment to grow bacteria. Ew. Dr. Shamban also warns against using a compact with a reusable sponge, because touching the applicator to your face and placing it back to the compact can contaminate the product. “Something with a pump is cleaner,” she advises.

3. Sleeping In Your Makeup Is Still The Wooooorst

View this post on Instagram

“What’s wrong?” Nothing, it’s just my face! ?

A post shared by Not Too Pretty (@nottoopretty) on

“Foundation acts like fly paper,” says Shamban. “everything sticks to it—tiny soot particles, air pollutants, car emissions.” Are you horrified? I’m horrified. That’s why sleeping in your makeup is such a huge no-no. You’re leaving all these gross things stuck to your face for extra hours. Up your cleansing game by following your cleanser with a micellar water to make sure you’ve gotten everything off. In a pinch, if you can’t wash your face, it’s still better to use a makeup wipe to quickly get it off than to leave it on all night. 

 4. Makeup Doesn’t Cover Up Bad Skin Care

View this post on Instagram

is there literally any other option | tw: @lurkathomemom

A post shared by diet starts tomorrow (@dietstartstomorrow) on

Keep in mind most makeup floats on top of your skin and can’t fix the fact that you’ve eaten pizza all weekend and haven’t exfoliated since the Obama administration. “I think the biggest problem with foundation is that people use it to cover up all kinds of bad habits,” says Shamban. “When the skin gets dull it’s because it’s not exfoliated or not hydrated.”  Without proper prep, foundation can exacerbate poor tone and texture even though the foundation itself is not the cause. Fix that by exfoliating once a week (either physically with a cleansing brush or chemically with a glycolic acid) to remove built-up skin cells that can congest pores and cause acne and dullness. Every day, you should use an antioxidant to protect your skin against the aforementioned pollution, and be sure to moisturize and use SPF.

5. But Foundation Can Actually Be Good For You, Too! 

The confidence you get from having clear, even skin is a benefit in itself, but certain foundations do even more than that. Mattifying formulas can control oil, and foundations containing sunscreen can, you guessed it, protect you from the sun, which provides longer term benefits to your skin. “Sun damage equals fine lines, wrinkles and brown spots,” says Shamban, which might cause you to want to wear more corrective makeup. The best way to prevent against the damage is, you already know, sunscreen. Options with SPF 30 can go a long way to improving your skin over time.

So now you’re probably wondering what foundations won’t make your skin suck. Don’t worry, I got you. Here are some dermatologist-approved options at a variety of price points, so you can see what works best for you. Everyone’s skin is different, but these options are a good place to start.

It Cosmetics CC+ Cream Oil-Free Matte with SPF 40 — $39

Dermablend Cover Crème Full Coverage Foundation SPF 30 — $39

Clinique Acne Liquid Makeup — $29.50

Dior Backstage Face and Body Foundation — $40

Oxygenetix Oxygenating Foundation — $66

Neutrogena SkinClearing Liquid Makeup — $14.59

Images: Kevin Laminto / Unsplash; betches, nottoopretty, dietstartstomorrow / Instagram; It Cosmetics, Dermablend, Clinique, Dior, Oxygenetix, Neutrogena

I Tried Kourtney Kardashian’s Wellness Routine And Here’s How It Went

Kourtney Kardashian is proof that your body can actually look better with age. She’s also proof that people seriously buy that shit you pass in Whole Foods and ask, “Organic mushroom cordyceps? WTF has this world become?” Aside from working out on a daily basis and adhering to a strict gluten-free, dairy-free diet, Kourtney Kardashian’s diet includes shit-ton of weird supplements and wellness tricks. Like, it’s worse than you’d think. I’ve always been down to try different wellness routines and health tricks, so I took a look at Kourtney’s daily routine and picked five wellness rituals I thought I’d be able to stick to for a solid amount of time. I quickly eschewed the spoonful of ghee butter every morning, but I found five that seemed realistic. Here’s what I learned.


1. Probiotic Supplement

I’ve already raved about the benefits of daily probiotics on this site, so this one was easy for me to take on. I’ve taken different multivitamins and iron supplements in the past and had never actually felt their effects, but when it came to taking a probiotic, it was a game-changer. Probiotics are basically healthy bacteria for your gut, and they help balance the microbiome in our bodies. They’re supposed to improve the immune system, lower blood pressure, and help regulate digestion. I took one in the morning before my coffee, and within a couple days, I already felt like my digestion was better and my stomach didn’t hurt at all during the day. IDK what brand Kourtney Kardashian’s diet includes but I assume they’re all pretty similar, so get on board.

2. Apple Cider Vinegar

Kourtney has raved about this one for a while now: The daily ACV. Kourtney drinks a tablespoon of organic apple cider vinegar mixed with water in the morning, and she claims it does wonders for her skin and body. I was kinda skeptical about this one because the idea of drinking vinegar on an empty stomach makes me wanna hurl, but I sucked it up and did it. Honestly, I’m not sure if it did anything for me. It actually made my esophagus feel pretty acidic and weird, and mixing it with water just made it taste like watered down vinegar. Not a fan.

3. Vegan Probiotic Shot

A key part of Kourtney Kardashian’s diet is the vegan probiotic shot that she takes in the morning before her avocado pudding, and honestly I still don’t know what this is. Luckily I live down the street from Pressed Juicery so I asked them for anything that related to a vegan probiotic shot. They gave me their Digestion Shot, which turned out to be a tiny bottled concoction of ginger, probiotics, parsley, aloe vera, celery, moringa, and yup—that goddamn apple cider vinegar again. The actual shot tasted pretty good and it wasn’t hard to get down. I’ve taken ginger shots in the past when I’ve felt a cold coming on, and this was a piece of cake compared to those things. But like, not actual cake, obviously. It’s essentially a shot of celery and aloe vera. Keep expectations low.

4. Gallon Of Water

I know a gallon of water seems like a lot, but if you’ve watched enough episodes of Keeping Up, you know what the Kardashian’s supply of refrigerated Smart Waters looks like, so it’s not that surprising that this girl is chugging water all day. If I had a designated fridge for water I’d probably drink more of it, too. Anyway, drinking a gallon of water everyday was difficult, especially in the winter. When it’s warm out it’s probably easy to get more water down, but I live in New York City and I don’t really feel like chugging a 24-pack of Poland Spring when I’d rather be sipping on a hot cocoa. I was also running to the bathroom to pee every five minutes. Why don’t they show that on the show?

5. Vegan Protein Supplement

Kourtney eats a lot of lean protein sources, like grilled chicken, fish, and eggs, but she also adds vegan protein powder to her post-workout shakes for some added protein. Once again, IDK what brand Kourtney uses, but I bought an organic blend of pea protein and brown rice protein from Whole Foods and mixed it with vanilla almond milk after my workout. Honestly, it was pretty good. Vegan protein is known for being a little more grainy and not as creamy as whey protein powders, but after an aggressive shake, the powder mixed pretty well and tasted kinda like a watered down vanilla milkshake. It sounds gross but like, it’s a vegan protein shake… IDK what I expected. Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.

Images: Giphy (5); Shutterstock

6 Beauty Mistakes That Are Sabotaging Your Skin And Hair

There are certain beauty products we as betches can never get enough of—tanning lotions, hair masks, and occasionally, a good set of falsies will truly amp up our chances of getting triple-digit likes on Insta and a “U up?” text at 3am. Since we obviously can’t ever have nice things and all good things must come to an end eventually, the truth is some of these daily life-changing beauty hacks are causing you more harm than good if used excessively—and this is most likely case. Turns out the stars are against us (fucking shocker) and using too much of the things we swear by is secretly ruining our lives. I guess better late than never, right? So, here’s everything you def use on a regular basis you should probs chill out with so you don’t end up with fugly breakouts or scarred skin.

1. Primer

Primers are our best friend but secretly a backstabbing, scum-sucking road whore. I know it makes our skin look amazing by hiding any evidence that we’re slowly becoming ancient and covering up pimples the same size as some third world countries, but primer is also composed of sneaky silicones. Silicones make your face look hella smooth, but by doing so, block pores and cause a buildup of sweat and oil which increases acne. Vom. Use sparingly and be sure to wash thoroughly before bed.

My Pores Are Huge

2. Cleansing Brushes

Cleansing brushes are only relevant because we’re too lazy to use our fucking hands to wash our faces, so we use a brush instead of exerting any form of energy. While this concept seems like a good idea when you’re trying not to fall asleep with makeup on (again), using cleansing brushes too often actually roughens up your skin. This can cause v serious skin problems such as eczema and psoriasis, both of which fucking suck. Believe me. Try not to use your Clarisonic more than a couple times a week.

Washing Face

3. Hair Masks

Pampering your hair is great and all, but it def needs a break in between washing and using masks. Honestly, no matter how much you love it, you should only use a hair mask once a week. More than that can weigh your hair down, leaving it flat and super oily. If you find yourself flying through dry shampoos, make sure you’re using one specifically for your hair type and leaving it in for the appropriate time.

Flat Hair

4. Eyelash Extensions

Falsies are deceiving, to be blunt. Sure, your thotness is amplified more than ever, but honestly, unless you’re a cougar on Real Housewives, the whole process is expensive and like, a fuck ton of responsibility. I can’t even remember to eat dinner before a nightly planned blackout, how the fuck am I going to remember to upkeep my goddamn eyelashes? Even the organic/vegan/gluten-free/whatever “healthy” extensions can damage your natural lashes since they’re literally glued on. Eventually your natural lashes will like, fall off and be damaged forever so if you reaaally have to, try a one-time use to stay clear of looking like this:

False Lashes

5. Scrubs

Exfoliating is pretty much essential for fab skin, but since scrubs often contain beads (which can hurt like a motherfucker), they can literally scratch off your skin and expose extra fresh layers to bacteria. Um, how about not? Too much of that can cause like, really bad shit to happen, such as bleeding and scarring so only use once or twice a week max. In the words of TLC, sing it with me:

I Don't Want No Scrub

6. Self-Tanner

We can prevent cancer if we still want to be tan year-round by using fake tanners (cool), but that doesn’t clear us from encountering other skin problems when we try to use self-tanner at home. Try to use a self-tanner only once a week, regardless of how strong the temptation is. Any more than that can make your skin peel off like Samantha in Sex and the City. Like, ok, just fuck me up. I’ll just be pale and ghostly for nine months out of the year. It’s fine. It’s fucking fine.

Samantha Sex And The City

Read: 6 Beauty Mistakes That Are Ruining Your Selfies
How To Get Ready Faster In The Morning So You Don’t Get Fired For Excessive Lateness

I’m not a morning person by any means, so waking up anytime before 1pm 11am honestly crushes my soul. Not sure what asshole made 9-5’s a thing, but I’d like to change that please. Until those dreams become a reality, I still have to go to work and wake up at soul-crushing hours, but if I can afford an extra minute of sleep, I’m def going to hit the snooze button five consecutive times maybe once or twice. This means rushing out the door yet still looking like a functioning member of society who gets more than six hours of sleep and doesn’t “forget” to wash her hair a couple times a week. Since half-assing my makeup makes me look like I got ready while drunk and I’d rather have a Starbucks barista fuck up my coffee than finish my makeup on the subway, I’ve learned how to condense my routine and find shortcuts to perfecting my contour without wasting 30 minutes. Here are the tricks I have up my sleeve to help you get ready much faster.

1. Make Dry Shampoo Your BFF

Yes, it’s true. By Friday, my hair is approximately 68% dry shampoo. If you know what’s good for you, then you know a good dry shampoo will save your life, one spray at a time. If you wake up early enough for a morning shower—first of all, you’re already winning—skip the whole shampoo-conditioner-blow dry thing, and use some dry shampoo to soak up any oily, greasy shit in your hair. Comb your fingers through and give it a good shake for extra volume and body. Blowout or just good dry shampoo? No one will tell the difference.

Dry Shampoo

2. Contour Using A Kabuki Or All-In-One Brush

Unless you’re a makeup artist or an Instagram thot aspiring beauty vlogger, nobody has the fucking time to use 100 brushes for contouring when you’re on a time crunch. It’s just not possible and it’s too time-consuming for anyone’s good. Instead, opt for a simple kabuki brush (my fave is the E.L.F Ultimate Kabuki Brush) or a multi-purpose brush like the BECCA The One Perfecting Brush. Rub it in your bronzer and starting at your hairline, work it onto your face by making a “3” on both sides. Don’t forget to blend in entirely or you’ll look like a fucking idiot with 3’s on your face. When I hit my rock bottom started following Kim K on Snapchat, she shared this beauty secret and I’ve used it ever since. And people say she doesn’t have a talent.

Kim Kardashian Contour

3. Skip Highlighter, Use Lighter Concealer

Applying highlighter doesn’t even really take up that much time, but it’s still an extra step you don’t really need. Instead of making a glittery mess, get a concealer that’s at least a shade lighter than your usual color. Apply it before foundation to hide those corpse-looking bags under your eyes and along your cheekbones to really make them glow. The light contrast will give you the same wide-awake, refreshed look you need to look like a human at work.


4. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Mistakes AKA Liquid Eyeliner

In the time of a crisis, aka missing the last possible train before running late (again), we’ll need to forfeit a winged eye. This is only acceptable during Monday-Thursday because Fridays are when we take the office glow to happy hour hoe and with that, we’ll need winged eyeliner. But for the rest of the week, skip that shit. In place of liquid eyeliner because that’s just too much of a risk, use a nude eyeshadow as your base. After that, make a thin line where you’d use eyeliner with a dark eyeshadow shade. Or, honestly, just skip eyeliner altogether if it’s unnecessary there’s no cute guys in your office.


5. Use Mascara For Both Your Eyebrows And Your Lashes

If you haven’t made a trip to your eyebrow lady and you also know filling them in takes 2,000 years, buy a colored mascara (brown, brown-black, whatever) to fix this struggle. Shade in your eyebrows with the mascara brush, which gets the job done and still makes them look natural. Then, load up on your lashes to kill two birds with one stone.


6. Put On Some Lipstick And You’re Good To Go, Betch

Lastly, to really complete your look and fool everyone into thinking you woke up extra early to slave over your makeup for hours, put on a bright red lipstick or your fave nude pink to finish it off. A red lip is perf for a boss-ass bitch going into work and it looks good on everyone, so honestly so you can’t go wrong. For something more subtle, apply a natural-looking nude pink as you head out the door and you’ll look as put-together as you ever will for the next 8 hours. See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?

Mean Girls Lipstick

Read: How To Look Noticeably Hotter By The Time School Starts
7 Habits You Think Are Sabotaging Your Skin But Actually Aren’t

Is anyone else feeling personally victimized by the weekend? Idk about you and your life but I just spent the last 48 hours sabotaging my health and happiness by living like a gluttonous asshole. My body/skin/bank account are all screaming at me to get better life habits, but you know, not everyone can be perfect a functioning human. And because I’m always looking for the easy way out I thought I’d put my journalistic skills to the test and see if my bad habits are really bad for me or just fake news. I’m going with the latter. And for once America’s dermatologists are not out to get me and are actually supporting my lazy-ass self because here are 7 bad habits that won’t sabotage your skin.

1. Drinking A Shit Ton Of Coffee

Dermatologists go back and forth as to if drinking coffee is actually detrimental to your skin, which I’m convinced is a direct attack on me and everything I hold dear. That being said, drinking coffee in “moderation” (lol) can be beneficial to you, as coffee has antioxidants in it and other chemicals that help fight Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, liver cancer, memory loss, and other scary shit. The bad news is if you’re one of those who shows up to Starbucks and is just like “fuck me up fam” to the barista (Hi) then you’re probs overdoing it with the coffee. And this is why we can’t have nice things.


2. Not Washing Your Face In The Morning

There are a lot of things that take priority in my morning routine—like snoozing my alarm for two hours and drinking enough caffeine to give a lesser human a heart attack—so, like, taking the time to wash my face in the morning takes the backseat most days. But, good news, my inability to keep a schedule is not sabotaging every aspect of my life like I originally thought it was. In fact, dermatologists say that there’s no real reason to wash your face in the morning, especially if you washed it the night before. A splash of water can be enough to refresh your skin most mornings. 

Washing Face

3. Sitting In Your Sweat

After I work out the first thing I want to do is consume twice the recommended amount of daily calories and the last thing I want to do is, like, take care of myself and shit. Like, I just spent the last 30 minutes Snapchatting on a mat pushing my body to the fucking limit sooo I think it’s time for me to do whatever tf I want. And you better believe I put off showering for as long as I can because at my core I am a garbage human. A lot of people The self-proclaimed makeup guru in your friend group assumes that sweat is terrible for your skin because it causes breakouts, but she assumes wrong. Like, just because you have steady hand and a Mac palette doesn’t mean you know WTF you’re talking about, CHERYL. Dermatologists say that a little bit of sweat can actually open up your pores and release dirt, so embrace your degenerate lazy lifestyle. 


^^^ Actual footage of me after a workout

4. Tanning

As someone who gets about as tan as Wednesday Addams I’ve been told my whole life to stay away from tanning, an obvious ploy to sabotage my summer selfies happiness. What my mother, physician, and my very tan, very condescending BFF from grade school didn’t tell me was that the sun’s rays can actually provide a healthy dose of Vitamin D, which can help prevent colds and flus and even more serious conditions like rickets. See, mother? Would you like me to have glowy skin or rickets?? That being said, if you plan to be outside for more than, like, an episode of The Office then you should def invest in some sunscreen because too much sun, as we all know, can give you wrinkles, skin cancer, and other generally undesirable shit. Tanning is really a double-edged sword. Sigh.


5.  Casually Drinking

First of all, I said casual drinking, as in the 2-3 glasses of wine you’ll consume tonight watching Rachel socialize with shameless fame whores try and find love, not the ratchet amount of vodka sodas you’re pounding on any given Saturday night. Moderate drinking can have some benefits for your skin, especially if your drink of choice is red wine because that shit has tons of antioxidants in it, which can improve wrinkles and lines, stimulate collagen production, and decrease the risk of skin cancer. Blessings.


6. Wearing Makeup All The Fucking Time

If you’re the aforementioned Cheryl in your friend group then you’re probably extra af when it comes to your makeup. Like, no one’s seen your real face since 2012 and you want to keep it that way. And while most people will try and get in the way of you living your best life by saying that all the makeup you wear is bad for your skin, you really shouldn’t listen to them because they are jealous and full of lies. Words I whisper to myself every morning. But seriously, that shit’s not true. In fact, there are plenty of benefits to wearing makeup every day. For example, products like foundation offer a protective barrier for skin, as well as SPF protection. Tbh if you have the patience to contour your face every damn day then, like, keep doing you. I applaud the effort.

Bitch I'm Flawless

7. Being Lazy AF With Your Beauty Regimen

If you’re anything like me then your beauty regimen consists of doing the bare fucking minimum 5 days of the week and treating your skin like Kim Kardashian at a photo shoot the other two days of the week (take a wild guess as to which days those are). But for once doing the least is actually beneficial to your skin. Getting extra with your skincare can fuck up your skin more than you think because it strips your skin of its natural oils, causing your body to overcompensate for the loss of moisture (/wetness/beauty). Plus if you’re more prone to breakouts you could be scarring your face with all of the exfoliating you do. Scarring. Your. Face. *shudders* NOPE. This is the face I present to the world my Instagram followers and I’m not about to fuck with that relationship so I think I’ll stick to doing the bare minimum, thx.


Read: How To Get Amazing Skin Using Shit In Your Fridge