Since I am an underpaid peasant, most of my clothes are from Zara. Tbh I have nothing against Zara because I like looking fancy as f*ck in my crisp, cropped blazer over my tea-length flowy skirt, and knowing that I spent less than $100 on the lewk. However, as I enter my 27th year, I want to wean myself off of fast-fashion and invest in higher-quality pieces, AKA shirts that won’t unravel on the gentle cycle of my washing machine. That said, I’m not about to walk into Saks and buy myself a new wardrobe because, like I said, I’m poor. The solution? Shopbop’s bi-annual sale!
Now, if you’re not familiar with Shopbop, climb out of the hole you’re living in and join society. Shopbop, which finally has its own storefront on Amazon, carries literally thousands of designers that are perfect for people who want to graduate from Zara but not quite reach Saks. Shopbop is affordable and that is why I love it on any given day; obviously, I love it a little more when everything is up to 25% off (with the code SPRING). If you get overwhelmed easily, allow me to share our favorite things on sale, and make sure to buy before the sale ends on March 8th!
Rag & Bone Razor Booties, $495
I am that annoying girl who wears boots in the peak of summer and guess what, idgaf. I have no shame in my game because boots—booties, to be more specific—are stylish all damn year. Rag & Bone sells all sorts of stuff, but the brand is most-loved for its amazing leather boots. My bank account weeps every time I admit that I own three pairs, but there’s a very logical reason for that! The leather is thick af, which makes me feel a little fearless when I wear them because they’re basically indestructible. I will say, though, the white definitely gets dirty, so make sure you get yourself a good leather balm to keep them clean.
Soludos Lauren Espadrille Sandals, $85
I never would have bought these because they are obviously a tad loud, but I got them in one of my Trunk Club boxes and they are literally my favorite shoes. They are so f*cking cute and they surprisingly go with everything. I’ve worn them with a pale blue fit-and-flare dress, I’ve worn them with denim cut-offs and an oversized white tee, and I’ve worn them with skinny jeans and a cropped denim jacket. Seriously, they’re more versatile than they seem. The only tiny issue is that they are definitely not made for long strolls. They do have a rubber sole, but it’s very thin, so be careful where you wear them. Other than that, they’re perfect.
Schutz is the underdog of shoe brands because I always forget about it when I’m on the hunt for a specific style, but they always end up having the exact pair I’m looking for. I have a pair of kitten-heeled boots, silver ballet flats, and sky-high, strappy stilettos from Schutz (can you tell I have a shoe addiction?) and the one thing they all have in common is that they are f*cking comfortable. Like the Soludos, they aren’t meant for a walk along the beach, but if you are going to a dressy event and know you’ll be on your feet for most of the night, these babies are the move.
Tbh, I can’t really say why this top is speaking to me so much because I haven’t worn a crop top since 2012, but there’s something about this hot pink number that I absolutely love. I would probably wear it with an aggressively high-waisted skirt, but I am also loving the way the model is wearing it. Even though it’s obviously a very specific look, you can pack it for a trip and wear it a few different ways. I would, however, make sure it’s the highlight of the outfit because anything that would compete with a top like this wouldn’t be a good look.
Stateside Poplin Twist Front Shirt, $162
I have a weakness for white button downs. Whether they’re boyfriend style or super crisp, I don’t even care. I want them all—especially this one. I am absolutely loving the menswear vibe and think it would look chic af French tucked into a pair of tailored bootcut jeans. A classic white shirt is timelessly elegant, but I love that this one has a little bit of a style moment with the subtle twist on the front. Obsessed.
Birds of Paradis Carla Blouse, $218
For the record, I would not classify my style as preppy, but I appreciate very preppy pieces when they’re paired with something a little grungy. For instance, this top, which screams Blair Waldorf circa season one, would look amazing with a pair of distressed boyfriend jeans and a pair of beat up high-tops. Or, of course, you could go the more neutral route and wear it over a pair of skinny jeans and metallic flats. Either way, this top wins.
I am a big earrings gal and I am proud to admit that I have about a million pairs. It’s a rough estimate. Anyway, as you can guess, I have multiple piercings and I would probably wear these with a few studs or smaller hoops in my other holes. **Cringes** These are a nice, contemporary shift from the classic gold hoop and I’m definitely into it. They aren’t the kind of earrings someone will stop you on the street to ask about, but they can be the finishing touch on any look. Next!
Botkier Cobble Hill Mini Crossbody Bag, $198
If color scares you, fear not because this very chic bag also comes in white with a tortoise shell handle. Tbh I love the yellow because it’s attention-grabbing, but not too in-your-face because it’s pretty pale. Another thing I love about this bag, aside from the sharp, structured shape, is the fact that the leather is textured, as opposed to smooth. If you’re wondering what the f*ck difference that makes, let me just say, it makes a huge difference because all you have to do for smooth leather to scuff and scratch is, like, breathe near it. Textured leather, however, is tough af and, in my experience, is incapable of scuffs/scratches.
Krewe Prytania Sunglasses, $275
I lose every pair of sunglasses I come into contact with, so I never spend too much on them. These are definitely a little bit of a splurge, but they’re so stylish and timeless that I will put extra effort into not losing them. Of course, these will look good or horrible depending on your face, but this oversized rounded square shape is generally pretty flattering. The tri-color detailing on the upper rims make them a serious fashion find.
FARM Rio Mini Cashew Mini Dress, $155
Yes, this is a dress with a cashew pattern, but it’s so cute that it’s nuts! I hate me, too. Personally, I think all dresses with a snatched waist like this are flattering regardless of your body type. You obviously have to be pro-color if you’re going to buy this dress, but one thing I love about the palette is that it’s pretty muted. This is something I’d wear to dinner on a beach trip with a pair of straw wedges and a big-ass pair of sunglasses.
LOVESHACKFANCY Edie Dress, $295
I don’t know how they do it, but the designers at LSF make extremely flattering and sexy peasant dresses. This is the kind of dress, though, that would only look good in white. If it were in any other color, it would look like a nightgown my grandma would love, but in white, it looks like something a Grecian goddess would show up to brunch wearing. The eyelet details and the high slit in the front make it young-person friendly, and I am excited to wear it since I fully just purchased it as I am writing this article. I’d wear this with a pair of lace-up flat leather sandals or a pair of cork wedges. I seriously cannot get enough of this dress; it better fit me.
Z Supply The Reverie Dress, $60
As you can tell, I like a good oversized piece of clothing, and this dress is no exception. I love that it’s cotton because that means I can get away with wearing it as a cover-up to the beach and to dinner later that same day! It is my personal opinion that everything looks good with heels, but I actually think this dress would look pretty stupid with anything other than a sensible flat. The dress is so casual that trying to dress it up with any type of heel just wouldn’t work.
Images: Jakob Owens / Unsplash; Shopbop
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It’s time to face the music and finally admit it: Montauk f*cking sucks. It’s a seemingly ironic yet blatant fact that you and your friends can’t seem to come clean about, so I’ll do everyone a favor and admit it for you. Gone are the days of a quaint beach town where you shack up with your besties and make your own fun, while of course peppering in a few nights at the happening spots in town. (Keyword here: few.)
Before Instagram blew up your newsfeed with all the “see and be seen” spots, navigating Montauk ran on an “if you know, you know” mentality. A drive through the small main strip of town will only reveal a handful of all that Montauk’s heyday had to offer. Before Montauk (in basic bitch term) “blew up”, it was only by word of mouth that you knew about Navy Beach (and where the hell it was). You knew that while The Lobster Roll looked like a roadside dive, it was the best stop for lunch before heading into town. The Harvest was all the rage and absolutely nothing topped a post-beach happy hour at The Sloppy Tuna. After a day of charter fishing, the boys in your share house knew to take their fresh catch to get prepared and served at Wok & Roll. I’d tell you to still keep that one a secret, but they recently closed (because of course they did). You could do it all, and the best part was that you could do it without having to get decked out in your best city attire. Back then it was golden hour, every hour: chill vibes, chill dress code, great times. Sounds amazing, right? Well, it WAS amazing, until it all came to a screeching halt.
A little throwback history real quick:
It might surprise you to learn that Montauk used to be an extremely quiet, isolated fisherman’s town. As local beach towns became popular weekend getaways, crowds flocked to the luxurious allure of The Hamptons. The houses were lavish and all the latest hotspots (RIP Pink Elephant) were full of beautiful people with beautiful Chanel bags on their arms. To solidify The Hamptons’ status, exorbitant amounts of celebrities began to buy summer megahomes there. Glitz and glam took The Hamptons by storm, and all the while, Montauk remained virtually the same: a humble, family-friendly beach town.
Today, the scene has totally changed, and sadly, it’s been for the worse. We’ve officially entered “book your summer house” season, and I’m here to inform you that, unfortunately, Montauk is so six summers ago. As someone who’s spent every summer of my life going to Montauk, I’ll preface this detailed list of reasons for its demise with a brief foreward: similar to an ex, MTK will always hold a special place in my heart, but things have reached the point where it’s officially time to break up (cuz I’m bored).
1. The Dreaded Drive
I get that good things come to those who wait, but is the 3+ hour drive to Montauk worth it? Absolutely not. I drove there this past summer over 4th of July weekend and it took us 4 ½ hours to get there. It’s gotten to the point where you think you’re being smooth by taking the back roads, and even the back roads are filled with traffic. It’s utter first-world misery, and if you’re a Montauk veteran like myself, then you’re also O-V-E-R I-T.
And don’t even get me started on the 3 hour+ train from Manhattan filled with rowdy amateurs, snapping pics with their BFFs to show the world they’ve begun their miserable voyage to beachside hell. Everyone has their bulky luggage in tow (New Yorkers are very extra when they travel). It’s loud, it’s long, and if you think you’re actually scoring a seat on this train, that’s really cute of you.
2. The Less-Than-Stellar Lodging Options
This one really kills me. Simply put, here are your four options for your stay in Montauk:
- A garbage hotel with a 4-night minimum that costs a small fortune
- A decent hotel with a 4-night minimum that costs an actual fortune
- Apply the two options above to your share house options
- A luxurious stay at your rich friend’s parents’ house, who you of course never forget to give a TY shoutout to. (I see you Joe! Bless.)
Haven’t we been in the workforce long enough to realize these options are a total waste of our hard-earned money? For the love of God, take that money and go to Europe.
3. The (Extremely) Overhyped Scene
You know it’s officially time to stop going somewhere when there are TV shows about it. Which, by the way, The Lobster Roll seriously needs to get over its five minutes of fame from The Affair. (Seriously though, f*ck that show and all its sus sexual misconduct amirite?!)
Anyway, the scene is totally out of control. High heels and beach towns should only be a legal combination at the Jersey Shore. I’m all for a glam night out, but it’s become next level bougie up in this bitch. Hard pass.
This past summer, I realized in my 3am drunken stupor that everyone in line at Pizza Village were very much out-of-towners and not New York natives. I couldn’t contain myself and just had to ask the people in front of me why they were all the way out in Montauk (my gripes towards Montauk have clearly been festering for quite some time). Ready for their response? “Because we saw it was the new hot spot on that TV show!” Kill me. But also, don’t judge me for going to Pizza Village, you know we’ve all been there… literally.
4. The Growing Presence of City Brands
Remember how earlier I said:
“A drive through the small main strip of town will only reveal a handful of all that Montauk’s heyday had to offer.”
Well that’s still true today, except all the other places Montauk has to offer now are exactly the same businesses we frequent on a daily basis in Manhattan. Seriously Montauk, why the hell did we need a Tacombi, Bluestone Lane, Scarpetta, Van Leeuwen, etc. in the middle of this beach town? An even bigger question: who the f*ck thought a Common Ground pop-up was necessary here? The Meatpacking location is a nightmare in and of itself, but leave it to Montauk to encourage yet another location of these types of places. And the SoulCycle! …I’m totally kidding, we absolutely needed one of those here.
But in all seriousness, what’s the point of leaving town when you’re surrounded by all the same brands you have at home? Isn’t the point of a beach getaway to escape your everyday routine and indulge in a change of pace?
5. The Eroding Sea Shore
As Al Gore boldly phrases it, global warming is an inconvenient truth. Nothing pulls at my heartstrings more than the devastating effects of climate change. (Seriously, do your part and go green— our time is running out!)
Montauk’s beaches are just one of the countless casualties of climate change. There’s such a small amount of the shoreline left that I nearly tear up every time I step foot there. It’s almost as if Mother Nature herself is over the Montauk hype and is doing whatever she can to literally push the degenerates out. The size of the beach is utterly incomparable to my childhood memories, and you’ve probably been too drunk summer after summer to even realize it. Get woke gals.
6. Amateur Hour at Every Turn
Okay, I’m genuinely confused about this rookie sh*t.
Popping bottles of champagne raging on the beach? Save it for the frat house.
Being forced to eat Ruschmeyer’s abysmal food just to avoid the 2 hour line? For shame!
Bottle service at Memory Motel? LOL. (No seriously I’m really laughing as I write this, that’s how comical the sheer idea is.)
I seriously feel like Daria watching Sick, Sad World when I see this BS go down. Do you people realize Montauk residences have held several town hall meetings about how they want to abolish the horrible crowds that their beloved town now attracts? We’re better than this lunacy and can absolutely take our talents elsewhere.
It’s nonsense like this that has not only made patronizing these places miserable, but has also contributed to the immense lack of integrity a present-day Montauk business has. Why would they even try to have good food or drinks when they know the crowds will come regardless? Which brings me to my next point…
7. Overpriced Eats
Whether you opt for a grab-and-go cafe or a three-course fancy dinner, it’s impossible to eat here without breaking the bank. And look, I’m always more than happy to drop bills on food as long as it’s actually good, but the food scene is seriously hurting here for the price. @ NavyBeach: GTFO of here with your $20 price tag for six pieces of fried calamari. Don’t mess with a girl who’s been drinking all day and her ravenous appetite, because that’s some serious soul-crushing stuff.
8. Absurd Uber Surges
We all loathe an Uber surge, but in Montauk they’re next level. This past summer, my friends and I paid $140 for a whopping 7-minute Uber from Common Ground to our hotel. I wish I was kidding… about both the surge and the fact that I actually did go to Common Ground this summer.
9. Way Too Many People Finessing Their ‘Gram Status
I’m all for doing it for the ‘gram, but for god’s sake, be cool about it. If you’re gonna take a pic with your crew on the Ronjo tiki head, make it snappy and then get to happy hour already. Do not stay on your phone posting videos of where you are all night. Do not go somewhere just for the location tag. Do not go to The Lobster Roll to take pics of where Noah f*cking met Allison. Do not pass MTK Highway, do not collect $200.
10. Last But Not Least, How Much It’s Strayed From What It Once Was
A wise philosopher (I think his name is Drake?) once said: “Nothing was the same.” And in all seriousness, it’s truly sad how much this amazing beach town has changed. Fond childhood memories of shopping at stores like A Little Bit of Everything and relaxed nights out are all donezo, because they literally don’t exist anymore. Beach bonfires are plagued by drunks and the only chill bar left in the entire town is The Gig Shack. A few summers ago, a genius company was selling “Make Montauk Less Great Again” hats outside of The Point. Politics aside, the satire was SO spot on because Montauk really was at its pinnacle before it underwent this revamping no one asked for. The hat had a steep price tag of $50, but to this day I’m happy I made the investment, and you best believe I wear that hat very proudly. Part of Montauk will always feel like home, but ultimately I’m f*cking over it. And you know you are too.
Images: Clay LeConey / Unsplash, Giphy (3)
Planning sucks, and bachelorette parties are a ton of work. So we’re taking all the guesswork out of planning a bachelorette party by breaking down top bachelorette destinations. Our guides will tell you where to stay, eat, party, how to get around, and give you a sample itinerary that you can follow. You’re welcome.
For any bride who loves tanning by the beach while drinking rosé, dancing on tables at rooftop parties, and flirting with super-hot Israeli guys before
you’re stuck with one d*ck forever you marry the love of your life, there’s no better destination for a dream bachelorette party than Tel Aviv. This gem of a city is one of the few places we know of that combines all the benefits a city has to offer—shopping, bars, restaurants—and everything we love about beach vacations (doing nothing all day besides sitting in the sun and talking sh*t). So, get your notebooks out and pay attention like Elle Woods trying to get into Harvard Law, because you’re about to get the official Betches Bachelorette Guide to Tel Aviv.
How to Get There
Considering Tel Aviv is almost 6,000 miles away from New York City, getting there is no easy feat—unless your sugar daddy (or actual dad) has a private jet, or you fly business. For the rest of us, though, the first step to a bachelorette party in Tel Aviv means spending about 10 and a half hours (if you’re on the East coast) in an economy seat crammed between screaming children and college kids on Birthright. BUT it’s honestly not that bad if you just watch movies the whole time and have a few drinks. Trust me, the vigorous journey to Tel Aviv is totally worth it. From New York, you can take a direct flight from Newark Liberty International Airport or JFK for about $1,000. If that’s too much, you can take a flight with a connection in Ukraine, France, or Italy. Connecting always kind of sucks, but saves hundreds on the plane ticket. Since you’re probably dropping a rent check on flights alone, you’re going to want to stay for at least a week to get your money’s worth.
If all goes as planned, you and your
minions bridesmaids will land safely at Ben Gurion Airport ready to take over the city that actually never sleeps. Once you grab your luggage and pass customs, you’ll need to take a 25-minute cab drive to Tel Aviv. DON’T take a ride with the drivers sneaking around the airports, mumbling “taxi,” under their breath, even if they’re wearing fancy suits. If you accidentally do, don’t freak out, they won’t do anything to you except rip you off (no, this isn’t Taken). Instead, follow your fellow passengers and wait in line OUTSIDE of the airport for a taxi to Tel Aviv, which should cost no more than 180 shekels (~$50). Ever. If the cab driver tries to negotiate a higher price in his Israeli accent, which he probably will, pull up this article and use the same accent to say no, or in Hebrew, “lo!”
How To Get Around
Honestly, the overall best, most fun, most Insta-worthy, and most cost-effective way to get around Tel Aviv is—bear with me—the electric scooter. Besides the fact that this mode of transportation is environmentally friendly and reduces pollution, electric scooters are an easy way to get around the city’s super heavy traffic. All the locals use them, so DW about looking like a tourist. All you have to do is download an electric scooter app like Lime or Bird, put in your credit card information, and ride. The companies have a 5 shekel (~$1.40) starting fee, and then charge 0.70 shekels (~$0.20) for each minute you’re on the scooter. Still, if you’re not into the whole scooter thing, you can step outside and hail a regular taxi or download Gett, which is the like Israeli version of Uber. If you stay within the boundaries of the city, it’ll cost around 80 shekels or so per cab ride ($23), depending on the driver’s mood.
You can also save your sheks and take the bus using the transportation app Moovit, which tells you exactly what station to go to and how long it’ll take. Tel Aviv is only 20 miles squared, which, since numbers mean nothing to us, is about half the size of Miami. Getting around should be quick, easy, and considerably cheap (a bus ticket is only 6.70 shekels (~$1.90) if you do it right.
Some people prefer renting a car on-demand with AutoTel for 1.7 shekels a minute (~$0.48), which is an app that lets you hop into a random green car, drive to wherever you need to be, and park the car in designated spots for free. But good luck finding parking.
If none of these are doing it for you, most hotels are right on the beach, so walking is also a great option to burn off the tequila from last night if you’re one of those “I don’t go to the gym on vacation” betches like me.
Where To Stay
You’ll probably find the best deals for bachelorette parties on Airbnb, considering you can get an entire apartment to yourself with a balcony you can take Instas on, but having to do the dishes and (god forbid) clean up after yourself doesn’t exactly count as a vacation. So, if you’d rather order room service, soak in a bath, and longingly stare at the totally off-limits overpriced minibar, check out these hotel options.
The Norman: Unlike Drake, I’m starting from the top. This is one of the most expensive hotels in the city (RIP savings), but since you only get married
probs twice once, go big or go home, right? This hotel is everything. The rooms are equipped with an espresso machine, 300-thread count cotton sateen sheets, complimentary homemade treats, and, you guys, fresh flowers. There’s also a world-renowned sushi restaurant that I’ve only been to once considering dinner there is, like, half of my monthly paycheck, but omfg, everything on the menu is mouthwatering.
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Bite me! ❤️ . Signature Tartare Chips @dinings_tlv on our 3rd floor roof terrace. . *NOW OPEN FOR WEEKEND LUNCH TOO * 🎉 03 543 5444. [email protected] . #sushi #telaviv #restaurant #luxuryhotel #japanesefood #awardwinning #culinary #foodporn #goodstuff #freshfish #instafood #datenight #weekend #lunch #dinner #tartare #instalove
The Setai Tel Aviv: This place is an urban resort with only 120 rooms and it will give you and the Mediterranean feel that you can’t get anywhere else. It used to be a jailhouse, but has since turned into a five-star hotel and spa that you’d probably be fine with being held captive in, tbh. The rooms have original stone walls, rainfall showers, and an enormous bed that you might actually mistake for a cloud. Oh, and don’t get me started on the Spa at the Setai. This spa is known for its Traditional Eastern experiences, which basically means they lather you up with heavenly oils until you unwind and relax like the deserving bride-to-be you are. By the time you’re done, you’ll be feeling healthy and glowy, and no one will have any idea you downed copious amounts of rosé
that morning last night.
Hilton Tel Aviv: What can I say about the Hilton? For a more affordable, but still Insta-worthy, hotel, this place is my go-to. It’s located smack dab in the middle of the city, right on the most hopping beach you could ask for. With beach parties, electronic house music, and bottle service, you might think you’re at the Scorpios in Mykonos for a second. Honestly, this hotel is the perfect place for you and your girls to GTL: get drunk, talk sh*t, and lay out.
Where to Eat
Café Popular: Can’t decide between having dinner at a restaurant or getting drinks and appetizers at a bar? This place is both. You get amazing food and the dimly lit lounge atmosphere that makes everyone look good. Order the Dardar cocktail, eggplant falafel, and Foie Gras Baklava. Make a reservation for as early as you can, and ask for seats at the lounge and not at the restaurant, because that’s where all of the hot guys are. Oh, and during the day, this place has the best brunch.
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TYO: As we all know, no bachelorette is complete without a sushi and sake night. Most of the food at this place is raw or grilled, and the salads are delish. Plus, the music is lively and the waiters are cute. Plus it’s right in the center of the city, so it’s close to tons of other great bars and clubs in the area.
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Port Said: This is a Middle-Eastern outdoor restaurant by the most famous chef in the country, Eyal Shani. Order the baked sweet potato and the minute steak, and the French toast for dessert. There’s a catch, though, because sometimes things are too good to be true. The wait time to get a table there is at least an hour if you go for dinner, and they don’t accept reservations. It’s worth it, though, I promise.
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Romano: I’m literally tearing up thinking about this place, that’s how amazing it is. Romano is the perfect spot for you and girls to grab dinner and drinks, and then just stay there to dance. How fun is it to not have to take a cab to another place and wait in line to get in? If you have dinner at the Romano, you’re already in, and most nights they have DJs. The food is to die for, and the atmosphere is hipster meets “we still shower, though.” Perfect combo.
Teder: This place is the downstairs area of Romano, but it’s so good it has its own name. If you don’t feel like spending a fortune on dinner and want something quick and delicious, this place literally has the BEST pizza in the city. There aren’t that many pizza options to choose from, just cheese and vegan (!) and, honestly, that’s all you really need. Sometimes you’ll see Eyal Shani (the famous chef) hanging outside the kitchen, but you probably wouldn’t recognize him considering he isn’t Gordon Ramsay. You’ll be rubbing elbows with other celebrities there too, especially Israeli models… not that you would recognize them either, but still.
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Tonight: staying warm under our winter roof with hot pizza + fiery radio shows ~ Upstairs at the Ballantine’s TMS: Club Media #6: the Rise of the Machines – Analyst & digital mastermind @eyalbason discusses the impact of artificial intelligence & algorithms on the music industry ~ 9pm | free entry At Heder: lo-fi beatmaker @ninjaman420 launches his new remix compilation out on @watashiwa_records ~
Shila: At this high-end seafood restaurant, every entrée is more Instagrammable than the last. Caution: there are four $$$$ on Google Reviews for this place so don’t hate me when you wake up hungover with a v empty wallet.
Thai House: When you’re wasted after a day of drinking, what’s better than stuffing your face and digging into enormous piles of pad Thai, delicious platters of beef pad see ew, and crunchy pineapple chicken? Since you’ll probably be craving Thai food at least once during this trip, make a reservation sooner than later because this place gets packed.
Where to Party
Abraxas Bar: Grungy but still classy, this darkly lit lounge and nightclub is right in the center of the city. Get escorted to your table, order as many tequila shots as you want, and get ready for a night to (not) remember.
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JIMMYWHO Bar & Lounge: This OG Tel Aviv club has been around for a while and is still going strong. Tuesdays and Saturdays are hip-hop night, and if for some reason you’re looking for tourists and 7-foot-tall basketball players, this is where you’ll find them.
Veranda: When it’s hot as hell in Tel Aviv, you probably don’t want to spend your evening outside, right? Wrong. Veranda’s outdoor bar has a magical breeze and the cocktails are amazing. Go here before clubbing to watch the sunset and snap some Instagram stories that your followers will just swipe through anyway.
SpeakEasy: As per my last suggestion, you really can’t go wrong with a rooftop bar. Located on the roof of the same building as the Jimmy Who, Speakeasy is a gem and is considered one of the most exclusive addresses in town. Locals might find it tricky to get in, but they’d never say no to a cute group of American girls on a bachelorette, so don’t even worry about it.
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Emesh: When I think “dancing like a wild child on the bar, accidentally falling off, and then getting back on”, I think of the Emesh. This description may or may not have been just my personal experience, but either way, I totally recommend going to this club for one of the craziest nights of your bachelorette. This place blasts our fave artists, from Beyoncé to Israeli superstar Omer Adam, and I can promise you zero dull moments. Be sure to make reservations on the bar for drinks and food, and let the night escalate from there because whether you like it or not, it will.
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Haiku Skybar at the Lighthouse Hotel: This place is one of the most stunning rooftop cocktail bars in Tel Aviv and also serves delicious sushi. Drinks, a gorgeous view, beautiful people, and sushi? Have I died and gone to bachelorette heaven? What could be better?
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Thursday, Day 1
Pro Tip: The weekend in Tel Aviv is on Friday and Saturday instead of Saturday and Sunday (aka their Sunday is our Monday) so Thursday is fun AF to go out in the city.
- Check in to your hotel, change into your favorite swimsuit, and head to the pool, where you can order drinks and bar snacks, since you’ll probs be super hungry after the flight.
- After bathing in the sun and catching that deep mocha tan only Tel Aviv can offer, head up to your luxurious hotel room and take a nap. You deserve it.
- Wake up and get ready for dinner at Romano, which is the perfect option for Night 1 because it’s also a bar/lounge (see above) so you don’t have to go anywhere afterwards (yay!).
- Thursday night is the night everyone goes out, so if you’re not too jet lagged, get ready for a fun but still considerably chill night.
Friday, Day 2
Pro Tip: everything except bars and restaurants closes early on Friday, so if you’re in dire need of Band-Aids or Advil, make sure you get your errands done before 2pm.
- Wake up, dial room service, and order coffee up to your room while you get ready. Bring a bathing suit in your bag or wear it under your clothes.
- Brunch at Café Popular where you can stuff your face and order mimosas.
- When you’re done, you can walk to Tamara, a smoothie place everyone loves.
- Take your smoothie with you and walk along the Tel Aviv Promenade.
- Spend a few hours at the promenade taking pictures and tanning.
- Go back to the hotel and CHILL.
- Do dinner at TYO.
- Friday night is THE night to go out in Tel Aviv, so while you might be tired, get over it, you can rest tomorrow.
- Take a shot of espresso at the end of your meal, because next stop is Emesh to dance on the table.
Saturday, Day 3
Pro Tip: Saturday is the best day for the beach because nobody has work and everyone just wants to chill and tan and drink under the sun. Bottoms up!
- Wake up and chug four full cups of water.
- Spend the entire day at Hilton Bay beach reading and relaxing. Don’t forget a beach towel.
- You know what’s next—go back to the hotel and NAP!
- Wake up, find something cute to wear, and settle in for some of the best food you’ll probably ever eat at Shila.
- If you’re looking for something a little less intense than the night before, go to the SpeakEasy for cocktails and a rooftop view.
Sunday, Day 4
Pro Tip: Sunday mornings in Tel Aviv are like Monday mornings in the USA, which basically means that everyone’s busy, horns are honking, and traffic is heavy. So why not take it easy today, since everyone has work and you don’t?!
- Sleep in late and enjoy the luxuriousness of the hotel bed like you’re Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
- When you’re finally up, dial room service and order breakfast.
- Throw on your bathing suit and drink, tan, and sleep by the pool.
- Have dinner at Thai House (YUM).
- Since you relaxed all day, you will have enough energy to get drinks at the Haiku sky bar and see where the night goes from there.
Monday, Day 5
Pro Tip: Shopping in Tel Aviv means that nobody else will be wearing what you’re wearing for the inevitable return home.
- Hop in a cab, grab a croissant or mini sandwich at Brasserie Bakery, and walk down Dizengoff Street for some hardcore shopping, because what kind of girl party is this if you’re not spending money on unnecessary sh*t?
- Keep going, stopping in stores along the way, until you get all the way to Dizengoff Center, an indoor mall, and spend an hour walking around one of the oldest shopping malls in the city.
- Walk back and grab an authentic Israeli lunch at Port Said.
- Go back to the hotel, shower, get somewhat presentable, and have sunset drinks at the Veranda.
Tuesday, Day 6
Pro Tip: If I haven’t said this yet, make sure you have a water bottle and two Advils by your bed at all times so you don’t faint at the beach.
- Spend the day at the beach eating watermelon and drinking Chablis or whatever.
- Go to the hotel and put on your shortest skirt
- Take a cab to the JimmyWho—it’s hip-hop night, so get ready to dance.
Wednesday, Day 7
Pro Tip: If you want to survive the flight home, pack a bachelorette essentials bag for the flight made up primarily of Advil.
- Scrape yourself out of bed, pack up your sh*t, take a cab to the airport, and hop on a night flight back to reality.
Images: Shai Pal / Unsplash
To those who may or may not know, there’s an uninhabited island in Exuma called Pig Beach (aka Big Major Cay) with yes, wild pigs. From what I’ve seen on Instagram (and in the Fyre Festival promo video), it’s a place like no other.
Mesmerized by the surreal photos on Instagram from influencers and pig whisperers alike, I had to visit Pig Beach for myself. The best way to get there is to fly into Exuma and check into Grand Isle Resort and Spa. From the penthouse, you can literally see the mansion Billy McFarland stayed at while Fyre Festival was almost, maybe, trying to be a thing. Through a local adventure company Triple A Adventures, resort guests can book a half or full day on the boat through concierge to visit the pigs, as well as nursing sharks and wild iguanas.
After visiting the infamous pigs, I learned that not everything on Pig Beach ends up on Instagram. And that pigs can’t fly, but they certainly can swim. This is what it’s actually like to swim with the pigs in Exuma.
Pig Beach In Exuma Is F*cking Unreal
First, you find yourself in arguably the most beautiful water in the world. Water so clear you’d be a fool to put a filter on your photo. Then you add in a wild pig just roaming the water. The juxtaposition of the two makes you wonder if you’re witnessing real life, or if you died and went to heaven. Approaching the island, I found myself with a dumb smile on my face as the pigs swam up to the boat because it was just the most WTF-is-happening moment.
Big Pig Energy
Once you process that there are about 20 wild pigs swimming around you in the most beautiful water in the Caribbean, then you begin to realize how big they actually are. We’re not talking The Three Little Pigs. That’s a fairytale. These are some big-ass f*cking pigs that went to The Bahamas and not to some market.
Beware Of The Biters
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Earlier this year, a video of one of the pigs biting a model’s ass went viral. It’s not exactly glamorous, but it can and does happen to tourists in search of that perfect Insta. “That one’s a biter,” my boat captain warned me. He pointed out which pigs are more likely to bite, as they each have a personality of their own. They’re more intimidating than cute, but in the water they’re moving in slow motion. So worst case scenario, you can outrun a giant pig.
We Fed Them White Sliced Bread To Get The Money Shots
How do you get the pig to jump up on its hind legs for that money shot? Sliced white bread. Bring a lot of it—like, an entire loaf. I definitely didn’t expect that’s what would do the trick, but it worked and was low-key a little scary because I didn’t want a 400lb. wild pig falling on top of me after jumping up to get some Wonderbread.
The Beach Is A Pigsty, Literally
The beach itself isn’t all that glamorous, unless you love the smell of pigs in the heat. It’s literally a pigsty with everything the piggies need, including ample shade, water, and small pens for the piglets. Another thing you might not notice from Instagram alone? Each pig was tagged, as they are registered, and frequently checked up on by a local committee of caretakers made up of residents at Staniel Cay. They’re responsible for maintaining the large enclosures for the swimming pigs, including a special nursery for the piglets, replenishing and servicing the permanent water installation, and coordinating vet visits to the pigs throughout the year.
The Piglets Don’t Like Being Held
The piglets don’t like being held by strangers—I mean, would you? Tourists chase them, and they squeal, loudly. I had a camera in my hand and the other pigs on the beach started squealing and coming at me as I was standing between them and my friend holding a screaming piglet. So just leave the piglets alone, okay? It’s uncomfortable, and it’s not worth however many likes you would get on Instagram… and you can’t see likes anymore anyway, so leave the f*cking piglets alone!
So even though Pig Beach isn’t exactly like what it looks like on Instagram, it’s not a total Instagram trap either—and still reigns supreme on our bucket list. After you get your perfect Instagram shot, put your phone away and enjoy it, IRL.
Images: James Barrett; michelle_lewin / Instagram; BlueOrange Studio / Shutterstock
I’m sure that with all your upcoming beach weekends you’ve already began swimsuit shopping. However, I’m not so sure that you’ve started shopping for the other v important beach essential, a great cover-up. And like, cover-ups are just as important, if not more. Hear me out.
It’s not just about what you’re wearing to and from the beach. Cover-ups also serve as your “outfit” when going to the bar for happy hour post-beach. Cause, tbh, once you start drinking at happy hour, the likelihood you’ll want to go home, shower, and change just to go back out is slim. And luckily, since it’s summer, you’re not expected to be at the bar each night in your best club attire. You really don’t need to go home and change if you reallllly don’t want to. (Which like, feels.) But you also can’t get away with wearing a blatant beach cover-up still once it’s 7pm. All that being said, here are some cover-ups that can pass for a casual beach outfit so you don’t have to interrupt your day drinking buzz.
1. MINKPINK Mahi Oversized Shirt & Cuffed Short
This button-up and shorts set is the perfect cover-up outfit combo for both on and off the beach. It’s lightweight, with a neutral stripe print that makes it totally suitable for the beach. Yet, it’s also nice enough to wear as an actual outfit to the bar. Not to mention, both pieces individually will make excellent versatile additions to your beach weekend wardrobe. They can easily be worn separately or together, and still be super cute both ways.
2. Solid & Striped Shift Cover-Up Mini Dress
This striped cover-up dress could easily just pass for a cute summer mini dress. It’s ideal for that post-work week Friday afternoon when you know you’ll want to hit the beach for an hour before heading to happy hour right after. This dress is pretty much your new ride-or-die drinking buddy. Wear it over a strapless swimsuit and no one will have any clue you actually just went straight from the beach to a night-long personal bar tour. Well, unless you take a little too much advantage of those early happy hour deals, then your stumbling might just give you away.
3. Beach Riot Ruby Top & Jasper Skirt
Sure, you might look a bit extra wearing this onto the beach. But being extra is “in” (at least I think it is, according to memes on Instagram). You’ll look totally flawless hitting the bar in this set after a full beach day lounging in the sun. Realistically, you could even just wear the skirt with your bikini top onto the beach, and then just pack the top to slip on before you head to the bar after. It’s basically the perfect set to accommodate your vacation agenda of beach, then booze.
4. L*Space Riri Jumpsuit
This striped linen jumpsuit from one of my fav swim brands, L*Space, is the epitome of a beach-to-bar outfit. Again, you can easily wear it over a strapless swimsuit and no one will have any clue you still have your bikini on underneath. As long as you don’t have one of those obnoxious backpack beach chairs on your shoulder as your accessory, everyone will totally believe you changed into this cute jumpsuit specifically to go out for the night!
5. House of Harlow 1960 x REVOLVE Capistrano Dress
This loose-fitting dress is stylish and chic, and just like the aforementioned sets, works just as well on the beach as it does off the beach. It’s casual and lightweight enough to be worn as a cover-up, yet polished and stylish enough that no one would think twice about you wearing it post-swim. You could even toss some heeled sandals in your beach bag to switch into before the night’s festivities, and voilà!
I get that these cover-up options aren’t exactly cheap, especially if you usually get yours from Marshalls for $14.99. However, these are more than just cover-ups; they all work as actual outfits. So even if you aren’t necessarily wearing it from the beach to the bar as suggested, you could easily wear it as a casual summer outfit just as well. Plus, I’m going to go ahead and assume that these ones are all a hell of a lot cuter than the one you got from Marshalls (no shade, just stating the facts). But again, that’s just a hunch, like, what do I know???
Images: Seth Doyle / Unsplash; Revolve (2); Nordstrom; Shopb0p (2)
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The Fourth of July is almost here, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll be spending your long weekend in a darkened room with everyone’s favorite obligatory psychotic jackass, Logan Echolls. Thanks for saving me money on sunscreen, Hulu! But, if you’re not as antisocial as I am, I’m sure you’re prepared to get some sun, drink some cocktails, and force your sister to take 95 photos of you on a flamingo pool float until she gets your “perfect angle.” Hypothetically, of course! One of those photos—or if you’re really full of yourself photogenic, a few of those photos—will end up posted on Instagram in yet another attempt to convince your followers that you don’t spend your days looking at memes and obsessively emailing your therapist about the state of your life. I SEE YOU. Once you’ve got the photo, then comes the actual hard part: the caption. While you’re tipsy on frosé and freedom, you might be tempted to throw out a basic bitch 4th of July caption, and here’s where I have to beg you: PLEASE NO. My heart can’t handle any more of them. Plus, I have faith you’re all more creative than that. And if you don’t know what I mean, I’ve conveniently come up with a list of the basic 4th of July captions to avoid this year. You’re welcome.
1. Captions About Alcohol
If you’re over 21, or I guess, even if you’re under 21 and somehow not afraid of the wrath of your mother and the eternal judgement of your soul (just me?), you’re probably going to be enjoying a nice, cold glass of alcohol over the weekend. Congratulations! This is something many adult humans do. So, when you’re thinking about what you should caption that photo of you and your frozen margarita on the beach, there’s no need to say “Red, White, and Booze.” This isn’t original, and booze is not a color. There’s no need to say “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Alcoholism.” Alexander Hamilton would be ashamed of you. There’s no need to say, “Make America Drink Again.” Because my GOD if I’m not sick of puns using this phrase. And America has literally always been drinking! I mean, except for that brief time when there was prohibition, but I’m pretty sure I learned
from The Great Gatsby in history class that people were STILL drinking. So yeah, skip the 4th of July captions about booze, because it’s like florals for spring: groundbreaking.
^^ this is what red, white, and booze looks like
2. Patriotic Captions, Accompanied By A Thirst Trap
Ladies and gentlemen, I have no problem with you posting a thirst trap. However, there is an etiquette rule that I abide by when it comes to these photos (and honestly anything you post/say/do), which is this: if you’re going to do something, be transparent about your reasons for doing it. By this, I mean don’t obscure your desire for compliments on your hot bod by dragging America into this. There are plenty of captions that you can use to acknowledge that, yes, you look great, and yes, you want to be acknowledged for it. That’s why they invented “felt cute, might delete later idk.” I’ll even allow you to make a self-deprecating joke about eating a ton of pizza and hot dogs even when we all know that you haven’t consumed a single gram of saturated fat since 2011. But what I will not allow is this:
Hi Alyssa. You are very pretty, and your body is bangin’ (are the kids still saying bangin’ these days?). Great job. But can we please nix the 4th of July caption? Do not pretend you “dressed” like this for your friend’s backyard barbecue! Friends, I have no problem with nearly nude photos. I’m just asking if we must we drag America into it?
3. References To Fireworks And Pop Songs
Cool, you have a boyfriend. Cool, he’s wearing an American flag tank top. Cool, he just drank 13 PBRs and then lit a Roman candle in his hand. This does not mean that you can caption the photo “Baby, you’re a firework.” This does not mean you can caption the photo, “I see sparks fly whenever you smile.” This does mean you should call 911. And find a boyfriend who still has all 10 fingers.
4. Awful Hashtags
Shout-out to my coworker Conor, who reminded me of the prevalence of the hashtag #murica even though he claims he “is not like that.” Conor, I love you, but your Jersey Shore summer house and pastel pants beg to differ.
When I went to search #murica on Instagram, I was alarmed to find lots of posts about guns and not as many frat bros in American flag Chubbies as I expected. That was enlightening, and yes, I am calling the police. So unless you want to end up with a knock on your door from the local PD courtesy of little old me, I’d just stay away.
^^Just because Emily Blunt says it doesn’t mean you can
And those are the 4th of July captions to avoid. I hope you all have a happy and healthy holiday, and don’t take my advice because then it’ll give me something to make fun of!!
Images Giphy (4); miss_alyssaarce, arielwinter/Instagram
Summer seems like the most fun time of year almost by default, but it can be tricky to navigate for the people who are trying to stick to healthy habits. Temptation is everywhere: there are drinks constantly being poured, fried food, ice cream, and your skinny friend who orders whatever the f*ck she wants because she has that gene you weren’t blessed with that allows her to eat literally anything without gaining a single pound. While all this swarms you, there also exists the perpetual thought looming over your head of most of your body being exposed when you want to lay out in the sun or go for a swim. It seems almost impossible, but surviving a beach weekend really doesn’t have to be so difficult if you keep some healthy hacks in mind that will trick yourself into feeling like you’re actually indulging, which we talked about on the latest Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast episode. Here are some of the best ways you can skip both the food FOMO and the diet-breaking regret.
1. Bring Frozen Fruit To The Beach
Eating frozen grapes, mangos, or pineapples is basically like eating nature’s version of an ice pop. Freezing these fruits not only turns them into healthy and delicious snacks, it also makes them stay cold and fresh for longer when it’s hot out and slows down your eating to add a little extra control. If I went and ordered ice cream and then my friend whipped out some frozen mango I would feel like an unhealthy piece of sh*t who is jealous of her tasty-looking frozen mango.
2. Start Your Day With A Walk Or Bike Ride
It’s scarily easy to spend an entire weekend at the beach lying on a lounge chair and barely moving a muscle. If you decide to start your day with a nice walk, though, you will feel good about taking in the summer air and being somewhat productive, which will set the tone for a healthy rest of the day. You can also post an early morning Insta story to show everyone that going out the night before didn’t stop you from being the epitome of wellness and serenity that you obviously are.
3. Don’t Fall Prey To High Calorie Drinks
Squeeze half a grapefruit into a vodka on the rocks and you have yourself a nice, refreshing summer drink that will get you good and f*cked up without the calories of rosé or a margarita. Plus, grapefruit is great for your metabolism. You could also soak berries in vodka if you feel like supplementing your alcohol with some antioxidants, or if you want to go the extra mile, you can even put seltzer in a wine glass and then just use your imagination.
4. Do Not Skip Any Meals
Skipping breakfast or lunch during a beach weekend seems like an easy way to cut out calories but it ends up working in the opposite way. You’ll be so hungry that you’ll want to eat like a pig later, and you’ll feel like you deserve it because you didn’t eat before. It may seem annoying to stay on top of your usual eating schedule when you’re trying to enjoy and relax at the beach, but your body will thank you for it later.
5. Bring Sporty Games To The Beach
If you bring fun activities to the beach, you’ll get in a workout without even realizing it. Bring a volleyball to play with or a football to throw around so you get your body in motion. The best way to do a workout in disguise, though, is by playing paddleball. Passing a tiny ball between wooden paddles is all fun and games, but when the little f*cker gets caught in the wind and you have to chase after it through the sand, you get some serious cardio in. You could also take advantage of the body of water in front of you and actually go for a swim. Fighting the current takes some exertion and makes you do more than just snore under the sun.
6. Bring Healthy Crackers Instead Of Chips
All the delicious crunch and none (or at least not as much) of the fat. If you must snack, eating fiber-filled crackers instead of chips will satisfy you AND keep you full. Keep the Lays out of sight and out of mind so you can stay on track like the healthful goddess that you are. I believe in you.
7. STAY HYDRATED.
This seems like an obvious one, but for some reason, it is truly so hard to remember to drink water. If you’re out in the sun all day and especially if you’re drinking, your body literally needs you to stay hydrated. Also, drinking water will keep you full so you won’t feel like you have to snack as much. So just do it! Drink water and while you’re at it put on some sunscreen so you can make the most out of your beach weekend as YOUR! BEST! SELF!
For more healthy eating hacks that will save you this summer, listen to the full episode of Diet Starts Tomorrow below.
Images: Giphy (7); Vitaly Sacred / Unsplash
A romantic vacation sounds fab right about now, but as good as shamelessly loud hotel sex and day drinking are, the price of it all may be worse than your college debt. But fear not, I’ve done the boring af research and found a bunch of vacation spots that won’t empty your bank account … but maybe your boyfriend’s. These are the best places to travel with your SO on a budget.
1. Dominican Republic
All-inclusive resorts are like a temporary visit to paradise. Free booze. Free food. What more can you ask for? With a $99 price tag, you cannot get much better than that. There’s a minimum stay of three nights, but if you’re schlepping all the way to the Dominican, are you really gonna stay less than that? Just remember that the sun is way hotter there, so be v careful with your sunscreen. The last thing you want to do is pull a Lila from The Heartbreak Kid and be too sunburned post-beach to have sex. What do you call a romantic vacation if you don’t have sex?
2. Myrtle Beach
When I think of romantic getaways with bae, I think about From Here to Eternity and I’m all in. I know, I know. Another beach vacation. But when I said nothing could be better than a budget-friendly vacation at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican, I lied. Starting at just $44 a night, you’ll stay in a room with a king bed and a gorgeous ocean view. Although this vacay is not all-inclusive, the price is so cheap it justifies itself. Book ASAP and you can be on the beach and making out in the sand before you know it.
Warning: you will get sand in your vagina and it will take ages to get it out. I swear, sand is the herpes of your vacation — once you touch it, it NEVER goes away.
3. Killington, VT
The sex is always best when you’re relaxed. Honestly, stress wreaks havoc on your relationship. Have you ever heard of a husband being murdered by his wife at a spa? Didn’t think so. Ergo (my college profs are defs so proud rn) there is nothing more romantic than a spa getaway with your SO. $229 per person per night may sound a little pricey, but hear me out. A three-night stay at this spa includes all amenities, aka meals, yoga and fitness classes, access to multiple different hikes (if you are an active betch), and a massage! This is a vacation Meredith Blake would definitely enjoy more than her “new family bonding” camping trip. They also have a promo going on for $50 off every couple’s vacay. If you and bae are the outdoorsy type, this getaway is definitely for you.
4. Sebago Cabins State Park, NY
I swear this cabin in the woods will defs be more romantic than the horror movie of the same name. But then again, Chris Hemsworth was in that movie… Regardless, your SO will have to do. Depending on how bougie you want to be, your vacation in the woods of Harriman State Park (just an hour and a half outside of the city) can cost as little as $266 for the entire week. A full week of
obnoxiously loud sex since no one is around to hear good ol’ fashion time with nature? Count me in.
5. Cruise To The Bahamas
The perfect opportunity for you and bae to recreate The Titanic, minus the whole drowning/freezing to death part. If you haven’t noticed already, Groupon is your friend for finding cheap vacations. For $199, you can go on a 2-night Bahamas cruise. Meals and booze included. Need I say more?
6. The Ultimate: Paris
Ending this list with a bang. What city is more romantic than Paris? For $599, you and bae can be in the City of Love for six days. All I have to say is “voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” But all I ask is that you do not decide to propose on the top of the Eiffel tower. Unless you want to be the most clichéd couple, or risk her saying no.
Images: Giphy (6)