Summer is coming, and with beach days and pool parties come sweat, humidity, and sunburn. Unless you want to look haggard af and not be cute enough to get into the rooftop pool bars (is this a thing everywhere?), you need an arsenal of beauty products on hand at all times. You should be focusing on pounding margs on a weekday that you called in sick to work, not how to hide your very obvi pit stains in the 110 degree weather. Not to mention, nothing—and I mean nothing—makes me more miserable than when I am too hot. If I am overheated and hungry, there is a good chance someone will die. Stay cool and chic no matter what the sun does to you with these summer beauty products.
1. SPF and Cooling Setting Spray
Get a makeup setting spray to stash in your purse (they even come in mini versions) to keep your makeup from melting down to your cheekbones in the worst of humidity and sweating. Make sure it has SPF, so you can reapply sunscreen without fucking up your makeup, and you won’t get the oh-so-sexy sunglasses burn halfway through happy hour. Bonus points if it’s also cooling and smells good to cover up the smell you get when you’re outside for long periods of time that I can only refer to as “recess”. You fucking know exactly what I’m talking about. This one from Supergoop! is my fav. It smells like rosemary and mint, keeps your cat eye on point, and is SPF 50. Btw, I hope you’re not still paying full price for shit at Sephora right? You can find a mini version of this pretty often as a points reward, so it’s technically free.
SUPERGOOP! Defense Refresh Setting Mist Broad Spectrum SPF 50
2. Mini Deodorant
I don’t care if it’s summer or not, always, always carry mini deodorant—and perfume, for that matter—in your purse in case of emergency. I can’t think of a single thing that will make me blind-rage-hate you faster than having to smell your B.O. because something happened—like, idk, it’s hot out—and you are sweating. Please spare us the grossness by taking fucking showers before hanging out with me, and also, bringing backup. This mini deodorant is natural and smells like vanilla, so it won’t give you cancer and will cover your scent.
LAVANILA The Healthy Deodorant Mini
3. Waterproof Mascara
Is anything sexier than raccoon eyes from your mascara dripping down your face? Fuck yes, and it’s literally everything else in the world. Spare yourself the nasty mascara goop thing that happens when you’re sweating or excessively oily by investing in a good waterproof mascara. This Dior one is the best, mostly because it isn’t flaky like many other waterproof formulas and goes on pretty much exactly like the regular, except it’s bulletproof and impossible to get off. But like, in a good way. A good waterproof mascara will take you from your 9-5 to happy hour at the beach to getting hammered and jumping in the ocean to accidentally killing a guy and hiding the body, without a single under eye crease. Idk, I don’t know your life.
DIOR Diorshow Waterproof Mascara
4. SPF Lip Balm
Your lip skin is super delicate and can be burnt just like any part of your body. Especially in the heat where you’re sweating, dehydrated, and probs not drinking enough water, you want to load up on the lip balm. Prevent your lips from burning, which fucking hurts and makes them peel and crack and look repulsive, with a thick af lip balm with SPF. This Jack Black one lasts forever and is mint flavored so it’s soothing and will disguise your margarita breath. But like, also bring Listerine strips or breath mints, you heathen.
JACK BLACK Intense Therapy Lip Balm SPF 25
5. Sea Salt Spray
My rule when it comes to dealing with humidity is to embrace the frizz instead of piling on so much oil product that you look like a drowned rat. A sea salt spray creates texture and gives you chic Serena Van Der Woodsen beach waves with little to no effort. Also, it’s way easier than trying to straighten your hair and the humidity giving you a fucking crease halfway through the day that you can’t fix. This set from Sephora has a few different ones to try so you can find what works best with your hair.
SEPHORA FAVORITES Instant Texture Dry Styling Spray Collection
6. Evian Spray
This is extra, but if you’re bougie af, it’s really a have-to-have. This mini Evian spray is sooooo refreshing and keeps your skin hydrated throughout the day. Especially if you’re outside for a while—think walking anywhere, sports games, beach days, theme parks, etc. It’s great to have on hand to cool you down quickly before the sweat ruins your blowout.
EVIAN Brumisateur® Natural Mineral Water Facial Spray
Images: Emily Goodhart / Unsplash; Sephora (6)
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In addition to roasting under the sun,
creepily eyeing flirting with the hot lifeguard, and day drinking for no reason other than the fact that the sun is out and it’s summer (duh), the beach provides an endless amount of glorious benefits. That’s why when people say they don’t like the beach for no good reason whatsoever, I usually just delete their number and refuse to associate myself with them ever again. Either you’re socially awkward or you think you’re Edward Cullen, you vampire freak. Moving on. One of my fave, yet severely underrated, perks is how sexual the ocean makes my hair look after I’m done swimming like a fish gasping for air magical mermaid. It’s like I can come to the beach on my fourth second unwashed hair day and no one would ever know because my hair suddenly looks full of life (for once) and has waves for days.
This becomes really convenient because on most days I’m drinking at the beach and I naturally lose track of how Lime-A-Ritas I’ve had. By the time I’m pretty drunk, I somehow convince myself and the two friends that actually put up with my shit that we should definitely go out to a bar after we’re tan (and drunk) enough to tell everyone we just came back from Turks and Caicos. Since I usually take forever and a day getting ready when I’m sober, it’s like a whole different story when I’m basically doing my hair and makeup with one eye open and one-half of my usual levels of hand-eye coordination.
Swimming in the ocean can make your hair look great and all, but if you’re crunched for time (or get too drunk like I usually do), styling your hair after the beach can be an issue when you still want to pull off an Herbal Essence commercial-worthy look while putting in the least amount of effort possible. Whether it’s just adding texture spray, throwing it up in a high ponytail, or simply leaving it wet after the shower, here are some hairstyles you can easily (and drunkenly) take straight from the beach to the bar.
1. Messy Waves
Like I mentioned, chances are the ocean was feeling pretty generous and gave you some salt water goodness, so your hair probably already has this look down pat. However, too much salt water can dry your hair out and leave you looking like Medusa, so scrunch your hair and use a texturizing spray like Reverie’s MARE Mediterranean Sea Mist to restore strength while maintaining the look you love.
2. Wet Hair, Don’t Care
Thank you, Kim, for blessing us once again with your trendy ways and making it socially acceptable to step out in public with wet hair. Otherwise there’s no way in hell anyone would ever let it slide. Imagine? “You just got out of the shower? That’s hot.” More like, “You just got out of the shower? Are you having a midlife crisis showing up here like that?”
After you’re done channeling your inner Bey during your shower, add some Kendra Professional Platinum Revive Oil—the same oil Kim used (assuming it’s good because like, Kim)—as a finishing touch.
^What I probs look like in the shower aka why I take 100 years to get ready
3. Own That Ponytail, Work That Updo
You can never go wrong with a fucking ponytail. Feel free to leave in loose waves for a beachy look or make it a high pony because your hair looks sexy pushed back. Spray on some hairspray, and off to tequila sunrises you go.
4. Loose Braid
I mean, clearly, we can’t all be Blake Lively no matter how many times we wish for it on our birthdays. It’s just not going to happen. The closest we’ll ever get is *attempting* to do a braid that looks as chic as this. If you’re like, creative, I guess (because a regular braid is good enough for me), opt for a loose fishtail braid with pieces of your hair framing your face. In a top 5, a braid is probably number one for the best summer hairstyle. It takes seconds to do and your hair is already pulled back from your face in case too many shots send you running for the bathroom.
5. Messy Bun
When all else fails and your fucking hair just isn’t cooperating with you, which happens to me 9/10 times, throw it up a messy bun and call it a day. After a few drinks, you won’t even care and let’s be real, it’ll probably get ruined anyway.
Now, go chug vodka because this was probably way more stressful than it was supposed to be. As fucking usual.