I don’t know when Nashville became the unofficial bachelorette party capital of the United States, but it seems like every single person on this Earth who is getting married is having their bachelorette there. Don’t get me wrong, $2 PBRs and Hattie B’s hot chicken are great and all, but who was the bridezilla who decided that every single bride in America was going to have their bachelorette party in the same city? And why did we all just follow blindly while simultaneously acting like it is an original idea? (And don’t even get me started on the concept of destination bachelorette parties. I’m convinced these were just invented for Instagram. Oh, wait, you got me started.) But the internet is collectively laughing today, when it occurred to ladies everywhere—to the dismay of their maids of honor—that this weekend the NFL draft is also taking place in Nashville. And boom goes the penis-shaped dynamite.
Nashville overrun by brides-to-be and hundreds of thousands of football fans with beer guts? It’s a sight I’d literally pay to see—like, if I thought I could catch a flight down to Nashville in time to witness all the temper tantrums, I would. And as you can guess, the internet is having a field day, mostly due to two blonde women Twitter has dubbed “bachelorette Becky”, who were interviewed by a local news station. Here is a picture of them, which I think says it all.
Yes, these are quite literally the poster children of Nashville bachelorette parties. I shudder to think what these women would do if their favorite brunch place ran out of avocado toast, or if Starbucks messed up their iced latte order.
“I don’t want to hang out with a bunch of football guys,” the bride fumed in an interview conducted by the station. “I already have to watch football on Sundays, I don’t need to see any more of that.” She added, “I found out three days ago and it made me want to cry.”
So I guess there are zero football fans in Nashville otherwise? Like, who did you expect to hang out with in Nashville, just your bridesmaids and zero other locals or tourists? Lol. Nice try, Jessica.
In all seriousness, I get that hundreds of thousands of extra people and having roads being closed off and sh*t is an inconvenience for your bachelorette party. But how are you gonna be mad at the NFL for your own failure to plan? Imagine having the audacity to think the NFL should cater to your schedule. THE NFL.
Of course, these women aren’t the only ones having their bachelorette party in Nashville this weekend. A few brides took to Twitter to express their shock and lack of enthusiasm.
Terrible weekend to have a bachelorette party in Nashville
— Erica Woytek (Allenspach) (@WoytekErica) April 26, 2019
Me, literally attending a bachelorette party in Nashville this weekend. ? pic.twitter.com/voUZj85HUB
— Katie Brennan (@KatieBrrr) April 26, 2019
As someone who lived in Atlanta during the March Madness Final Four, I can imagine what these people are going through, and don’t envy them having to fight through crowds of people to get literally anywhere and pay Uber surge pricing out the ass. It sucks, but also, the NFL released their plans for the draft on January 30th, so it’s not like this was a surprise. Would it suck if you planned your bachelorette party in Nashville six months out and then later found out about the draft after everything was already paid for? Yes. But like, to be pissed off that football fans are ruining your weekend is hilarious, considering I’m sure the actual population of Nashville has been tired of screeching bridal parties ruining their weekends for years.
To be fair, there are plenty of people on Twitter who are attending bachelorette parties in Nashville this weekend and taking the extra crowds in stride. And, really, if you wanted a great story for your bachelorette party, you couldn’t have picked a better one.
Accidentally booked the bachelorette party in Nashville the same weekend the NFL draft is in Nashville. HERE WE GO?????
— Tacie Shannon (@tacieshannon) April 22, 2019
I’m going to be in Nashville this weekend for a bachelorette party. And the NFL Draft will also be happening at the same time. Taking tips on how to survive this, please.
— Sophia Alvarez Boyd (@sososophia16) April 25, 2019
So the situation is less than ideal, but what can you do? Well, if you’re Bachelorette Becky, you can take it out on your future husband, even though he had nothing to do with this. She says, “The person who’s gonna pay for this is my husband when I refuse to watch football the entire season. I’m talking no Super Bowl. Nope. Because you get married once. How often does the draft happen? Every frickin’ year. Every year.”
Welp, I’m sure this interview won’t at all come back to bite these ladies in the ass! But congrats and best of luck on your wedding day, when nothing at all will go wrong at the last minute!