Planning a bachelorette party, even without a pandemic, comes with a lot of stress. How many vacation days do you have to take? How much are you going to pay out of pocket? How many bitches are going to bail last minute, leaving you to pick up the bill? And of course, the dreaded, what will our theme be? Now, obviously, the biggest question bachelorettes face is, “is this ever f*cking happening?” With summer and fall weddings getting postponed, bachelorette parties are also getting pushed out—but if you ask us, that just means more time to plan and make it perfect.
I know we all make fun of theme nights/darties, but let’s be real, we all do them because of the attention. The only problem? If you go with the expected matching T-shirts, you’ll end up at the bar where no less than four other bachelorette parties are doing the exact same theme, stealing your well-deserved popularity. It’s hard enough to get everyone to agree to wear something out of the ordinary and coordinate a custom bulk order. If you do that and then don’t stand out, what’s even the point?
Even though bachelorette parties are probably not happening this summer, it’s never too early to start planning for 2021. Plus, any of these can be adapted for a Zoom bachelorette. That’s why we’re pulling together some of the best “not completely overdone yet” themes that will ensure you get all of the compliments and Instagram likes that you so deserve.
Officially the new matching shirts, sarongs are our favorite way to easily coordinate without having to actually like, try. Not only are they cheaper than swimsuits and less cliche than personalized tees, but there’s actually a chance that your friends will wear them again, which is basically unheard of in the bridesmaid world.
It’s better than black and it’s not as tacky as say, sequins, but it’s an easy and cheap way to stand out in a crowd of sashes and tiaras. Odds are you have some neon stashed in the back of your closet from that ’80s party you went to in college, so get ready to rock the bright hues like a sign that screams “give me all your attention.” Bonus: Even though we’ve all been stuck inside, the bright colors will make you look sooo tan.
Whether everyone’s in matching colors or you just let it be a free-for-all, wearing a brightly colored wig out basically guarantees that you’re gonna have a wild time. Don’t ask me why. I didn’t make the rules, that’s just how it goes. Maybe it’s because you get to devote more time to drinking and less time to getting ready. Maybe it’s just the thrill of knowing you have a plethora of fire Instagram captions to choose from when you’re drunk posting at 2am (“getting wiggy with it”, “wigging out”, and my personal fave, “wig-ardium leviosa”). Either way, wigs are the theme for bitches who are here to party.
4. Robes and Towels
This is more of a “grab a pic for the ‘gram” kind of theme, but come on, that’s the whole point of a theme anyway. When you’re at your hotel, Airbnb, or getting spa treatments, be sure to get a picture of everyone in their white fluffy robes with towels on their heads. It screams bougie and above the whole “getting sh*tfaced in a shirt that says ‘bride tribe’” kind of thing. It also seamlessly transitions for the virtual bachelorette since you definitely didn’t want to change out of your robe in the first place.
Now, if you want to wear this outfit out, I can guarantee you’ll be the talk of whichever party town you’re at. You might have to check your dignity at the door, but don’t pretend you weren’t planning on doing that anyway.
Spots are in full fashion, and we are here for it. Easily the greatest animal print of all time (sucks to suck, zebras), leopard print is fun and sophisticated with just a dash of slutty mixed in for good measure. The only requirement? You have to belt The Cheetah Girls as you’re getting ready. It’s practically the law.
6. Spice Girls/Iconic Group
The Cheetah Girls aren’t the only group to consider channeling for your bachelorette party. Consider other famous packs like The Spice Girls, The Pink Ladies, The Pretty Poisons, or The Village People. Not only will this give everyone a chance to actually pick what they like, but if you go to a place like Austin, Nashville, or NOLA, folks will literally be stopping you on the street to take your photo. If that isn’t the dream of any bachelorette party, I don’t know what is.
7. (Utilize) The Groom
More and more we’re seeing parties (and especially brides) channel their groom for the bachelorette. Whether that means plastering his face on koozies, swimsuits, veils, or giant T-shirts, flaunting his mug is a hilarious way to not only match, but low-key make fun of the future hubby. While it’s more expensive than say, having everyone wear a bright neon color, what it lacks in frugality it makes up for in pure f*cking hilarity.
8. Everyone’s A Bride
— Rachel Varina (@rachelvarina) March 9, 2020
My personal favorite, there’s literally no better way to get in the bridal spirit than having everyone dress up as brides. You might think it will take away from *you* but trust me, you’re wrong. You will obviously be the best bride in the group, because hello? You’re the f*cking bride. Between Goodwill, Amazon, and your grandma’s closet, everyone can come up with a tacky outfit in formal white.
Bottom line, no matter when your bachelorette is or if it’s happening in person or over video call, ditch the “we’re getting shipfaced” shirts and pick a theme worth posting about. And don’t even think about anything “bride tribe”!!
Images: Andrew R Simoneaux; rachelvarina / Twitter, betchesbrides / Instagram (7)