The illustrious members of Bachelor Nation have spent most of the summer being pretty fricking P.O.’d, thinking our absolute favorite summer series was dunzo. I mean, we were like, concerned about the seriousness of the allegations and shit, but we also definitely wanted to see our favorite cast members who failed to find love have sex with each other on the beach. Fortunately for us, the Bachelor producers have literally no shame, and all the DeMario and Corinne drama did nothing to diminish their desire to make money off of our guiltiest pleasure.
Now, the teaser for the season that almost never happened is out, and, TBH, I hate saying it, but it actually looks kind of lame. Part of why we were all so excited about BiP this season was because Corrine was going to be on it. Now that’s not happening. Chad is busy with Famously Single for some reason. DeMario is also out, so, like who is even going to bring the drama? Amanda? Raven? I don’t think so.
So let’s break this down: The preview starts with a bunch of tweets from Bach fans basically just talking about how devastated they (we) were the show was maybe almost sort of not going to happen when allegations of sexual misconduct started swirling.
Of course when a show called “Bachelor in Paradise” almost gets shut down but then totally doesn’t, you have to throw in a “Paradise Lost” reference. Clever.
We get a few flashes of some of the cast members, including baby-voiced Amanda from Ben’s season and one of Rachel’s more annoying suitors, Iggy. We also see that Kristina is on the show. I almost didn’t recognize her because she has highlights now. She legit looks good and I’m happy she didn’t end up with Nick because she’s already been through too much shit in her life — fuckin Russia, amirite?
Anyway, then we get some more tweets about how happy people are that the show is back on. Then Robby says “It’s crazy” and that’s pretty much it.
Can I just say: booooooooo.
I don’t particularly like that they’re capitalizing on the fact the season almost didn’t happen, ya know, because the reason it almost didn’t happen was because there was a sexual assault investigation. Like, if it almost didn’t happen because of a hurricane or some shit, sure, play that up. IDK I just had a weird feeling about how they approached that whole thing, and critics generally agree. The trailer has been panned by basically everyone, with critics calling it both exploitative and tone deaf. So basically like everything BiP related. Isn’t the first rule of PR like, not to bring up the shitty parts of your brand all the time? IDK.
The show comes out August 14, though and we’ll be watching. Duh.