Presented by SkinnyPop
Congratulations team, we’ve finally made it to the end of award season. This year’s path to the Academy Awards has been especially arduous, with COVID-related scheduling changes tacking on an extra two months to the entertainment industry’s self-congratulatory tour. So now we just have one more Sunday night slog to get through, but if you’ve watched any of this season’s big shows, you’ll know that COVID has affected way more than where these shows fall on the calendar.
Every pandemic-era award show has tried something a little different, but February’s Golden Globes were definitely whatever the opposite of the gold standard would be. The participation trophy standard? We can workshop that, but the Golden Globes were excruciating. With a bloated runtime, speeches delivered exclusively via Zoom, and half-baked presenter bits IRL, the entire affair was just bleak. A few weeks later, the Grammys took their stab at a COVID-compliant event, and it actually kind of worked! The multi-stage performance setup and outdoor award presentation area felt as normal as one could hope for, and while the Grammys are always too long, at least they didn’t feel like a work meeting you could’ve skipped.
So with all that in mind, what will the Academy do? Last month, shortly after the Oscar nominations were announced, the show’s producers sent an email to nominees laying out some guidelines for the ceremony. Notably, the email discouraged “casual dress”—no Jason Sudeikis hoodies, please—but the most jarring bit of info was that there would be no virtual option for those unable to attend in person. The producers wrote, “For those of you unable to attend because of scheduling or continued uneasiness about traveling, we want you to know there will not be an option to Zoom in for the show.” They added that they’re focused on providing an “ENJOYABLE” experience in person, and that the “virtual thing will diminish those efforts.”
Ah yes, the “virtual thing.” Now that I think about it, I guess Zoom happy hours aren’t quite as fun as the real thing—I’m glad someone finally said it! Unsurprisingly, though, people had questions about this decision. With many nominees currently working in Europe and elsewhere, and many international travel restrictions and quarantine protocols still in place, coming to the Oscars this year isn’t just a matter of hopping on a plane. For anyone not currently in LA, the choice was either to skip the Oscar experience altogether, or face a huge logistical and financial headache to figure out a plan. With the backlash mounting, the Academy committee quickly backtracked, announcing that they would host satellite events for nominees in both London and Paris. Last week, producer Steven Soderbergh also confirmed that they will use “satellite hookups” for nominees who cannot attend any of these official events, though this is clearly not the preferred situation.
Great, so we’ve finally arrived at a solution where no one is being asked to risk their life so they can fly to LA to maybe win an award. Love that. But what does all this organizational chaos mean for us, the viewers? Let’s run down what to expect from this weekend’s big show.
First of all, yes, the Oscars are three hours long. But that’s not all! This year, they’re also doing a 90-minute Oscars: Into The Spotlight pre-show. Pour yourself a drink and have lots of SkinnyPop on hand, because it’s going to be a long night. It’s unclear exactly what the pre-show will be like, but we do know that this year the musical performances will be in the pre-show instead of the actual ceremony. So basically, they cut the most entertaining part from the actual Oscars and still kept the excruciating length. We’re off to a good start!
Like the last two years, the show doesn’t have a host, which is probably for the best. No one is actually that good at hosting award shows, and by the third costume change of the night, we’re always over it anyway. But there will still be lots of stars in attendance (or at least satellite attendance; it’s hard to predict). The roster of presenters is super A-list (Reese Witherspoon, Zendaya, Regina King, etc.), and this year’s nominated films are actually incredibly diverse and exciting, so there’s a lot of potential here. For the first time, the show will include pre-taped interview segments with nominees from all the categories, which basically means they’re going to make us cry. Honestly, I’m here for it.
So will this year’s Oscars actually be good? I’m not exactly getting my hopes up, but it has to be better than the “could’ve been an email” energy of the Golden Globes. Either way, we can be grateful that after this weekend we can finally go back to our favorite Sunday evening activity: focusing on our paralyzing sense of dread about the new week starting.
Images: Alex Millauer / Shutterstock.com
Welcome to the 2020 Golden Globes! While us normos are actively avoiding any human interaction after three weeks of non-stop partying and soul-crushing fights with our family members, Hollywood is getting together for yet another rager. Well, technically it’s an award show, but what would you call a night filled with 1,500 bottles of champagne, rambling monologues, awkward run-ins with exes, that all ends with a trip to a fast food joint? That’s what I thought.
This year, the Golden Globes were hosted by Ricky Gervais, marking the fifth time he’s held the honor, and his first time hosting since 2016. Now, I’m a fan of Ricky because at his best he is scathing, and at his worst he makes everyone so uncomfortable you can actually physically feel the hatred emanating off of them, and that’s a reaction I’m very used to. What can I say, you like what you know. But I can understand if he’s not your cup of tea. Well, I can’t, but one of my New Year’s resolutions was to be more understanding and it’s only January 6th, so I’m being magnanimous. You’re welcome. Anyway, this year he was better than I could have even imagined. Ricky immediately came for the people who hired him, called everyone in the room dumb perverts, and made a “Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself” joke. If that wasn’t 90% of you after three cocktails at your office holiday party, then you’re lying.
Ricky Gervais 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/z4LxMWj9ev
— Jack McGuire (@JackMacCFB) January 6, 2020
Ricky started the show off super strong, and it only got more preachy bonkers from there. So instead of a full recap, which none of us have time for unless you were fired after said office holiday party, I’ve broken the show into highs and lows. Let’s get to it!
☆ I know I already talked about the monologue, but bear with me while I just say that Ricky throwing out the line, “It’s the last time, who cares” after every insult he slung at the HFPA is a level of who gives a sh*t that we should all aspire to. (Also, special shout-out to Ricky for calling out Leo DiCaprio’s refusal to date age-appropriate women.)
☆ In toasting the three nominations for Knives Out, Ricky Gervais took an easy shot at Cats, everyone’s least favorite movie of the year: “See what happens when you don’t dress people up as cats?” Boom. Roasted. Honestly, that’s gonna be my philosophy whenever I accomplish anything from now on.
☆ Ramy Youssef admitting during his acceptance speech for “Best Performance by an Actor – Comedy or Musical,” that no one knows who he is. Fine, I’m mostly including this because he’s from Jersey, HOW DO YOU ALL SEE THROUGH ME? Hooray, New Jersey! We will take over the world like we’ve been secretly plotting! Soon everyone will be referring to their hometown by their exit on the parkway mwahahaahahahhahah!
☆ Celebrities raising awareness for the bush fires in Australia. I legit think that’s the only reason they gave Russell Crowe an award, because no one I know even saw The Loudest Voice. If they wanted to watch Roger Ailes prey on women they just waited to see Charlize Theron in Megyn Kelly cosplay in Bombshell. But really, those fires are BAD. Please help if you can!
☆ Bill Hader and Rachel Bilson showing up on the red carpet together for the first time. If you’re not watching Barry, you’re missing out on one of the best dark comedies on TV, plus you’ve yet to realize that Bill Hader is stealthily hot. And Summer Roberts deserves her happy ending. I stan.
☆ Just like at the Emmys, Fleabag won the Best Comedy Series, and Phoebe Waller-Bridge won Best Actress for her performance. These were some of the least surprising wins of the night, but sometimes the best show wins for a reason. Now that Fleabag is over, I can’t wait to see what Phoebe does next, because the world is truly her oyster. When will the world be my oyster?
☆ Succession wins! Succession won best drama and Brian Cox aka Logan Roy aka possibly the most mentally abusive father in America won Best Actor. Damn, that show is good. I actually screamed at the end of the second season when something insane happens that I won’t mention here, because I don’t want to get lit up in the comments over spoiling something that ended months ago. So I won’t spoil it, but WATCH IT ALREADY. And we were BLESSED that Brian Cox won because it allowed us the absolute best moment of the night, a Jason Momoa in a tank top sighting. It’s like someone knew we needed to start 2020 out that way.
My sexual orientation is Jason Momoa in a tank top at the Golden Globes pic.twitter.com/h0wwCl47Oa
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) January 6, 2020
☆ Kate McKinnon presenting the Carol Burnett award to Ellen. It was heartfelt, inspiring, and also funny. However, I was confused when Ellen said that people tell her that her show inspires them to go out every day and help people, and that’s what TV should do. The TV I watch inspires me to go out there and mercilessly mock Florida. Am I watching the wrong things?
☆ Brad Pitt’s face. Whoever is keeping Brad looking this refreshed is doing a fantastic job. It looks natural even though I know it’s not, and he could get it over Leo ANY. DAY. Fight me.
☆ While introducing Jojo Rabbit, Sacha Baron Cohen joked that Mark Zuckerberg is a “naive, misguided child who spreads Nazi propaganda.” LMAO. Where is the lie? Why do I feel like Sacha wrote that one himself? This definitely made some people in the room uncomfortable, but none of the other presenters had material that good.
Sacha Baron Cohen just roasted Mark Zuckerberg. #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/lc4m9WiTgc
— Lights, Camera, Pod (@LightsCameraPod) January 6, 2020
☆ Tom Hanks. Man, has that guy been in a lot of great movies. And THE EMOTION. Over his family. And he has a kid who is a white rapper and goes by the name Chet Haze! And he still loves them! For that alone he deserves an award.
☆ The cameraman who was smart enough to cutaway to Jennifer Aniston during Brad Pitt’s acceptance speech. I know some of you might be over this love triangle, but I didn’t invent it, and the media has made me invested in it for over half my life, so thank you, sir, for rewarding all the time and dedication I have put into this relationship. Now, if only her reaction had been more scandalous. We’ll have to work on that for next year, Jen.
☆ Also, Brad Pitt for acknowledging what we all know to be true, Leo COULD HAVE FIT ON THE DOOR and that Kate Winslet is a cold-blooded murderer. I also liked what he said about being kind to someone tomorrow. And I will, tomorrow! Today I have to write this recap.
☆ Awkwafina won Best Actress for her heartbreaking performance in The Farewell, and her acceptance speech was as funny as you’d expect. When she said “I told you I’d get a job, dad,” I really felt that. Way to stick it to dads everywhere that begged us to just be accountants.
☆ So I was about to put Joaquin Phoenix’s win on the “lows” list because I find him exhausting, pompous, and a little crazy behind the eyes, but then he called out everyone in the room for being hypocrites and I shrieked. Stop preaching about climate change and then hopping on your private jets, assholes! I loved it. Good luck at the after parties, Joaquin. Leo is not going to be happy.
Joaquin Phoenix did seem quite drunk BUT telling a room full of famous people to stop taking private jets to Palm Springs….you DO love to see it #GoldenGlobes
— Tyler McCall (@eiffeltyler) January 6, 2020
☆ Michelle Williams won for her performance in Fosse/Verdon, and she used her speech as an opportunity to speak out on the importance of women’s rights, especially when it comes to abortion. She’s known for keeping her personal life very private, so to hear her speak so passionately was truly a special moment.
☆ WHERE WAS LITTLE WOMEN?!! This movie was beautiful. I laughed, I cried, I remembered how much this story meant to someone like me, who fancies herself a writer. And the HFPA couldn’t give a sh*t about this movie. Couldn’t fathom how it would be important. Barely nominated it. It makes me believe everything Ricky Gervais said about them. Oscars, your move. Are you going to make me call you sexist trash bags, too?
☆ WTF was J.Lo wearing? Girl, we already know you’re a gift, you didn’t have to dress like the Christmas wrapping paper my mom bought at Paper Source on January 1st for 60% off.
☆ Laura Dern’s acceptance speech. I mean, she was funny, and charming, and she looked gorgeous, but the whole thing was hijacked by Gwyneth Paltrow’s ass. Come on, cameraman. We know she looked hot, but this is about Laura! Maybe film the winner’s acceptance speech from the front next time, and Google pictures of Gwyneth’s body at home later on your free time. This is your job, cameraman!
☆ Pairing Amy Poehler and Taylor Swift as presenters was BRILLIANT, because as you will remember, one of the years that Tina and Amy hosted the show they made a joke about Taylor Swift dating younger guys, and she responded later saying “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.” Which is something I still laugh about to this day because it was such an overreaction. But this presentation was a missed opportunity. They didn’t even address it! I couldn’t even tell you what they presented, that was how boring it was. The fact that they didn’t take advantage of this pairing just made it pointless. I know you had something to say Amy, YOU SHOULD HAVE.
☆ Jason Momoa put his jacket back on to present.
☆ I find it unbelievable that Unbelievable didn’t win anything. As a true crime junkie, I can honestly say that that series was a cut above the rest of the genre, and Kaitlyn, Merritt, and Toni each gave heart-wrenching performances. And seriously, WHO IS WATCHING CHERNOBYL?!
☆ Another year where the best actor in a musical/comedy was from a musical biopic. I love Taron Egerton, but if he was going to win for anything it obviously should have been Kingsman. It takes great talent to play a character named Eggsy without laughing.
☆ The presenters. As I mentioned earlier, they were all kind of nothing-burgers. Was Tom Hanks passing around his cold medicine at the pre-show?
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood winning multiple awards, proving once again that Hollywood loves nothing more than to jerk itself off.
That Pierce Brosnan’s sons, this year’s Golden Globe Ambassadors, were nowhere near as hot as Pierce Brosnan.
The length. Over 3 hours?!?! Did I spend 11 hours binging the entire season of Spinning Out just yesterday? Yes, but what’s your point?
At that’s all folks! Have a good day! As Ricky says, get drunk, take your drugs! Happy New Year!
Images: Jackmacdfb ,sbstryker, lightscamerapod, eiffeltyler/Twitter; enews, betches/Instagram; Giphy
Presented by Warner Bros.’ The Good Liar
Around this time of year, there are always a ton of new movies coming out. Between feel-good family movies and tearjerker dramas, there’s a lot to choose from. But no matter what you’re into, we know which movie needs to be at the top of your list right now. The Good Liar is the intense, keeps-you-guessing thriller you’ve been waiting for, and let me tell you, it doesn’t disappoint.
Let me set the scene.The Good Liar centers on Betty and Roy, played by Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen, respectively. (Yeah, the cast is iconic, but more on that in a minute.) Betty, a wealthy widow, meets the charming Roy on an online dating site, but unbeknownst to her, he’s a conman with sinister intentions, and their burgeoning relationship soon spirals into a thrilling, dangerous game of cat-and-mouse. Things quickly escalate as the façade of their seemingly innocent love story cracks, revealing an unexpected web of lies. Basically, it’s a wild ride full of intrigue, darkness, and one unbelievable plot twist.
But now that we’ve talked a little about the wild plot, let’s go back to the actors here. The Good Liar combines two of the ultimate acting legends, Dame Helen Mirren and Sir Ian McKellen, for the first time in their careers. So like, you already know this movie is gonna be major. Between their long careers and piles of awards, you might think they’d be ready to kick their feet up and take a break (I have approximately zero awards and I already want a break), but no. Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen are at the top of their game here, and they bring the sinister, complex story to life in a way that will keep you guessing until the very end.
The Good Liar is a complicated puzzle that you’ll want to solve, and it’s best experienced on the big screen. So grab your friends, your partner, your parents, whoever, and get to work on solving the mystery together. You won’t be able to predict the ending, but that just makes it more fun. You don’t want to miss out on the must-see thriller of the season. Get tickets now.
Did you miss the Golden Globes big show last night? Read our rundown of who got snubbed.
Award shows are about so much more than which movies are worth seeing this year. The 75th Golden Globes were on last night, and ICYMI, almost every woman wore black to show support for the Time’s Up movement and Oprah gave the best speech in the history of award show speeches—two important talking points. While we’re totally into the all-black wardrobe choice, we’re also literally floored by how good everyone looks on the red carpet. Like, aside from their dozens of personal trainers, nutritionists, plastic surgeons, and makeup artists, these celebs go through a lot to get ready for award shows, and we did some research on what exactly goes into the process. Get your Xanax ready and take notes.
1. Toning-Specific Workouts
Most celebrities (maybe with the exception of Jennifer Lawrence) already work out all year-round, so it’s not like they start sprinting marathons and doing a bunch of SoulCycle classes before award shows. However, celebrity trainers tend to focus on toning-specific workouts before award shows to make sure their clients’ arms and legs look super toned on the red carpet. A lot of stars go to Modelfit, Pilates or Megaformer classes to tone up beforehand.
2. Personalized Diets
It’s hard to pinpoint one exact diet that celebrities go on before award shows because they all do different things. Some celebs do intermittent fasting for the month before the show, which means they eat for 8 hours a day and fast for the remainder. A lot of celebrity nutritionists like this diet because it burns fat by cycling your body’s eating patterns, but some would rather their clients just eat as clean as possible without any sugar or fried foods for the few weeks before the show. Think green smoothies and grilled chicken.
3. A Gross Amount Of Sleep
I guess if you don’t have that many responsibilities or a 9-5 job you can afford to sleep 10 hours a night, and that’s what a lot of celebrities do before an award show. Must be nice. Aside from the healthy diet and exercise routine, celeb trainers make their clients get a ton of sleep leading up to the show. I mean, it makes sense that no one would want under-eye circles to show on the dress comparison page of People Style Watch, but this seems a bit extreme. Then again, if somebody told me I needed to get the amount of sleep of a hungover 17-year-old boy for a month, I wouldn’t protest.
4. Meal Delivery Services
For celebs that are too lazy to cook their own meals before award shows, a lot of them sign up for healthy meal-delivery services that bring organic meals to their doorstep. A celeb favorite is called Sakara, and the company specializes in a plant-based diet that helps you lose weight and even improve your skin before the red carpet. A lot of people are unsure about whether these food services are actually healthy, but like, Gwyneth Paltrow is a customer, so that should clear up the skepticism.
5. A Spa Week
After all the dieting and exercising, a lot of celebrities go to the spa for up to a week before the award show. The point of this ridiculous ritual is to relax their bodies and rejuvenate before the red carpet, and they schedule treatments throughout the week to make sure they’re completely chilled out before the big night. I mean, IDK why they can’t just smoke a J in their limo and get the same effect, but whatever works.
6. Specialized Red Carpet Facials
Getting a facial isn’t a big deal, but most celebrities go to skin specialists the day before award shows to give them a specific facial that makes them look younger and makes their cheek bones look more defined on camera. Joanna Vargas and Tracie Martyn are both celeb faves, and they have specific red carpet treatments for clients. These treatments literally erase lines on your face and lift your jawbone and cheeks. Day-of appointments are reserved for nominees, obviously.
7. Colonic Treatments
Apparently some celebs get colonics before award shows to make sure their bodies are totally cleaned out so they can look as thin and emaciated as possible on camera. Also known as colonic hydrotherapy, this treatment basically includes an infusion of water into your rectum by a colon therapist to completely cleanse your colon. It’s kind of like a colonoscopy but for no medical reason. Sounds fun.
8. No Alcohol
This one might seem obvious to some people, but we assume celebrities need to drink like, five times as much as the average person just to get through the day, so we’d imagine this is pretty tough. Most celebrity dietitians tell their clients not to drink any alcohol for a month before the show. Alcohol obviously adds on a ton of calories and can make your face look puffy the day after, which is basically a sin for the red carpet. I guess on the bright side, their tolerance is low enough to black out pretty fast at the after party.