Perhaps you, like me, spent your whole weekend binging Netflix’s new dating show Love Is Blind, and now you have a ton of questions. The main one being, why would someone ever want to go on this show? Are there seriously no other options for you, Barnett?
The show describes itself as a “social experiment” in which 30 participants have ten days to meet and propose to a partner. The twist? All of their dates take place in isolated pods, and they talk to their potential matches through a wall. And for some unclear reason, they still get more dressed up to sit alone in a room than I ever have in my entire life. After some couples find “the one”, the show jets everyone off to a resort in Mexico to see if they can create a physical connection, and then back to Atlanta to test if they will make it work in the real world. If they survive, like, a day with their partner in a random neutral apartment, they’ll be walking down the aisle and into the rest of their lives.
The show suspiciously does not give us many details as to how they chose their singles, but in an interview with E! Network after the show started streaming on Netflix, co-creator Chris Coelen revealed that all the singles were all based in Atlanta, and that the show was also filmed there. Okay, so, I’m just guessing here, but the social scene in Atlanta for young, attractive people willing to go on reality TV to get married cannot be that big.
I feel like there was a casting call posted in the greater Atlanta area that was like, “Want to be Instagram famous, but don’t want to move to LA or New York to do it? Can’t take a month off work because your feed isn’t paying for itself yet? We’ve got the opportunity for you!”
Marriage seems like a pretty high price to pay if the only reason you want to be on a reality TV show is to promote your brand. After digging a little deeper into their backgrounds, I found that half of the cast was willing to pay it. Alas, my faith in humanity grows ever smaller. Many of the contestants have personal brands or are the CEOs of their own media companies, or hold jobs like model, social media consultant, brand consultant, personal trainer, personal stylist, makeup artist, etc. Jobs that basically need all the exposure to clients they can get, and Netflix is just the place for that. (I have to give Netflix some credit, because they took away the cast’s phones during the month that they were filming, which seriously limited the number of times someone could reference their fake Instagram job in a confessional.)
I mean, the second we meet everyone at the start of the show, I was immediately suspicious. Everyone is way too hot. Like, definitely a few steps below The Bachelor, but still. Hot as far as regular, non-surgically-enhanced people go. I mean, Diamond Jack is literally an NBA dancer, which, as we all know, is a model who can also dance. And, as it turns out, a lot of them are actually models. Take Amber, for instance, who reminisces on her days in the Georgia Army in the first episode. Based on her Instagram, though, her current job is modeling for Tropic Beauty, whose Instagram bio is literally: “We produce model influencer events, photoshoots, travel and branding opportunities.”
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Know your worth… then add interest😘 . . . 📷: @bcphotography_ @tropicbeauty @_spraylavie
Lauren Speed is another example. Her bio on the show says “Content Creator”, which is the vaguest job description I have ever seen, and then we never hear another peep about it again. That is, until she shows Cameron, her new fiancé, her apartment, and there is a full-on photo studio in the living room. It turns out Lauren runs her own media company called The Speed Brand AND she has modeled in New York Fashion Week. I respect the hustle, but now I’ve got to ask how two literal models can really be on national TV claiming they hate dating apps because they get judged by their pictures.
Speaking of New York Fashion Week, another of the show’s participants, Danielle Drouin, recently posted from the runway. I don’t even remember her being on the show, and she clearly didn’t get engaged to anyone, so Netflix really wasted her hotness for nothing.
I also found in my midnight Googling spiral investigation that, in addition to all of these contestants being models, a bunch of them are weirdly connected. It does add up that some contestants would’ve known each other beforehand, given that it’s a show for the very specific demographic of model-adjacent singles in Atlanta, but something seems fishy here. It is a little hard to say, but more than a few contestants can be linked to Jezebel Magazine (a publisher of luxury lifestyle magazines, not the feminist website), which hosts tons of parties throughout the year. They named the show’s very own Mark Cuevas, (personal trainer, lover of Jessica, known 24-year-old) one of 2019’s 50 Most Beautiful Atlantans. Weird flex, but okay.
Matt Thomas, Mark’s confirmed friend, (which we know from this Instagram at an event for Thomas’ non-profit, Brawl for a Cause) and fellow contestant has also appeared in the magazine, as one of Atlanta’s Best Bodies of 2017. Not sure who gave the green light for that article, but that’s neither here nor there.
Lexie Skipper, a personal stylist (another vague job description) on Love is Blind, also had a profile in the magazine, although she unfortunately did not, at least to the extent of my research, make one of their rankings. Maybe next year, Lexie. Lastly, for what it’s worth, I found a picture of Jessica at a Jezebel party in 2011, so basically that confirms that everyone knows each other and the entire show is a scam.
Just kidding, but an anonymous source close to the show did tell Betches, “LC and Lexie are childhood friends.” The source told us that they went to the same middle school and have been pretty tight since then. Also, LC and Westley, who went to high school together, were one of LIB’s couples (that didn’t get engaged).
Look, I guess it kind of makes sense. Like maybe, some of them said to their friends, “I’m only going to apply for this if you do it with me.” And then their mom popped up out of nowhere and said “if every single in Atlanta jumped off a bridge, would you?” Pretty sure that’s how that went.
In the remainder of the cast, (those that aren’t models or fitfluencers), there are quite a few “brand consultants” and “social media entrepreneurs”. Giannina describes herself in her Instagram bio as a “soulpreneur.” I thought about what this could mean for a full five minutes and still couldn’t come up with anything. Carlton describes himself as a social media manager, which is fine, but LET US NOT FORGET he was Cynthia Bailey’s assistant on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, so Love is Blind is simply his way of continuing his foray into reality TV.
I’m definitely not trying to say that these people have fake jobs, because some of them do seem to run successful media companies, like Ebony Alexis (Ebony Alexis Entertainment) and Lille Mae (Glambitious I Am). However, I am saying that these are all jobs that function by gaining clients and serve to benefit from increased exposure to their brand. Production tried to throw us off the scent by throwing a bunch of tall, nondescript white men whose jobs are “scientist” and “engineer” into the mix, but I am not falling for it for one second.
Now, you may be thinking, so what if everyone was just there to promote their brand to a room of 30 singles that they already knew? But, I have to wonder, is love really blind if everyone is a model? Was the cast promised that everyone was going to be pretty attractive before they fully committed? Why was the show filmed so goddamn long ago? Everything about this show confuses me, and yet I have canceled all of my plans for Thursday night in order to watch the finale.
Images: Love Is Blind / Netflix, Giphy
Planning sucks, and bachelorette parties are a ton of work. So we’re taking all the guesswork out of planning a bachelorette party by breaking down top bachelorette destinations. Our guides will tell you where to stay, eat, party, how to get around, and give you a sample itinerary that you can follow. You’re welcome.
If your only associations with Atlanta are the Super Bowl and any of Coca Cola’s millions of diabetes-inducing drinks, allow a former ATL resident to open your eyes to all of the legit things the A has to offer. You’re welcome. Look, I’ll admit, Atlanta is not famous for being a travel destination, but that needs to change because it’s the fourth largest city in the f*cking world (land mass-wise, obv), which means there’s a lot of space for fun sh*t to go down. Let’s go!
How To Get There
One thing not enough Atlantans talked about is how f*cking huge the airport is, which is great because basically every airline flies into/out of Hartsfield-Jackson, so getting a flight could not be more easy. It’s also the Delta hub, so there’s also that. Unless you’re coming from, like, Nashville, I highly recommend flying from wherever you live to get to Atlanta. Please note, before you land: absolutely nobody down here calls it “Hotlanta”, so don’t embarrass yourself.
Where To Stay
So this part is tricky because where you stay will be completely dependent on what your personal vibe is and what you want to do. Because ice forms in a freezer faster than ATL traffic moves, you probably won’t venture too far out of whatever neighborhood you’re staying in a million times throughout the day. So, choose wisely. There are so many awesome neighborhoods here, so you really can’t go wrong, but the best three, IMHO, for a bach weekend are Buckhead, Virginia Highland, and Midtown. Read on for a brief breakdown on the neighborhoods so that, unlike that time you actually responded to that suspicious “hey stranger” text, you can now make a well-informed decision.
Virginia-Highland will make you want to drop what you’re doing and move there immediately. It kind of reminds me of Stars Hollow (if you don’t know that reference, you’re too young to be going on a bachelorette weekend). If you stay here, you’ll want to opt for an Airbnb, not a hotel. Make sure to get a baby biscuit from Callie’s Hot Little Biscuit, which is literally the cutest cafe ever, if you ask me. If you’re thinking that Stars Hollow is not where you’d want to rage for your bach weekend, think again because this place is unrecognizable at night. Another great option here is Ponce City Market, which used to be Atlanta’s City Hall, but now it’s a giant and delicious food hall with amaze shopping (think like Chelsea market, but cheaper because it’s Atlanta). Cha-ching.
Buckhead is where you go if you want to party all day and night (and you’re a little on the preppy side). It’s by far the bougiest neighborhood and kind of looks like Midtown Manhattan/Murray Hill if you tilt your head and squint your eyes. For young people who enjoy life’s simple pleasures, like a proper cocktail that’s an unnatural shade of orange, you’ll like the Buckhead Strip, which is chock-full of every style of bar, from two-story clubs to tiny dives that play “Wagon Wheel” and have popcorn machines in the back. Buckhead is also a good place to be if you like being surrounded by five-star restaurants. Just saying.
Midtown is exactly what you’d expect: high-rises, dudes in suits, and a whole lot of taco joints. Midtown Atlanta honestly kind of resembles any other city’s midtown, but one thing that separates this midtown apart from the rest is Piedmont Park, which is 185 acres of yas. There is literally always something happening in this park and 99% of the time, the events involve drinking. I’ve been to beer fests, jazz fests…etc. here and I’ve always left drunker than I intended to. Whatever. It’s also the opposite of Central Park in that it’s not crawling with hot dog vendors and tourists, which, in my opinion, have ruined Central Park.
However, there are other cute neighborhoods. If you’re a little more artsy, get an Airbrb in Inman Park. If you like to be off the beaten path, stay near Old Fourth Ward, since you’ll likely be going out there anyway. If you’re looking for a yuppie hipster vibe, stay in West Midtown since it’s all completely new but still draws a young crowd.
If you want to stay at a hotel, you can’t go wrong with the W Midtown. It’s nice, convenient, and the bar is a pretty good time.
How To Get Around
Atlanta technically has a public transportation system called MARTA, but it’s only useful if you’re going to or from the airport, since it stops legit in the airport. Otherwise, don’t f*cking bother. Once you’re in a neighborhood, you can obviously walk around, but to get from pocket to pocket, walking is a complete no-go. To illustrate how you will navigate Atlanta, allow me to direct you to this song, by Atlanta resident MadeinTYO.
But don’t worry! Uber, and life, in Atlanta is super cheap. You can legit Uber from midtown to a suburb outside the city limits for under $25. You’ll be fine.
Where To Eat
Ok this is another tough one, because the A is so f*cking delicious! Because each neighborhood has about a thousand amazing restaurants, I’m going to throw out the best of each. These are go-tos, so if you plan a trip to Atlanta and don’t make resies here, you’re fired. The Southern Gentleman (is there such a thing?) is, you guessed it, a southern restaurant in Buckhead. It’s classic southern food, but better because you won’t need a nap or an enema afterwards, so eat your heart out when you order the rainbow trout. Also, on weekends they have live music after 10pm and, let me just say, sh*t gets rowdy.
Next on the list is South City Kitchen, which, despite its name, is very different from TSG. If you want a quiet and intimate dinner during which your girls can toast you and you can actually hear said toasts, book a res for upstairs, otherwise, the screened-in patio is the move. It’s loud, but not too loud, and you get good street views for people-watching while you deep-throat the cornbread that puts all other breads to shame. South City Kitchen offers upscale Southern fare.
Also in Midtown, but on the west end, JCT. Kitchen is a good alternative if you want to take a break from the South for a sec. It’s swanky, like, Paris circa the 1930s swanky. No, it’s not a French restaurant, but the decor is v chic. Think dimmed globe lamps, plush white leather, round cabaret-like tables…you get the picture. Show up to your res a few minutes early here so you can down a few cocktails on the outdoor deck and sway to some sweet, sweet Maroon 5 covers on the guitar.
If you’re staying in Virginia Highlands, you have to hit up Murphy’s, which, in my opinion, has the best mac and cheese in the world. Full disclosure, Murphy’s kind of looks like any other decently swanky restaurant, but the food is truly incredible. Like, no matter what you order, you’ll be happy. If your group is big enough, book a table in the private room where you’ll be doted on as if you’ve just solved all the world’s problems.
If you’re looking for legit Southern Comfort food, go to Mary Mac’s in midtown. It’s f*cking huge and you won’t need a reservation, and the food is amazing while remaining unpretentious.
For a classier dinner, make a reservation (seriously, do not try to walk in there unannounced, you will be waiting for 67 years because it’s so popular) at Barcelona for tapas. It’s perfect for people who like to order a few things and split them all, rather than everyone getting their own thing. Everything is amazing and surprisingly filling, so you won’t need to get fast food on the way home (but Atlanta has amazing drunk fast food, too).
For brunch, you absolutely must try to make it to Flying Biscuit. Anyone in your party who thinks grits are gross will become a believer once they have a bite of their creamy, dreamy heaven-in-a-bowl. There’s usually a wait, but there are multiple locations throughout the city. Little pro tip: the Flying Biscuit in Terminus (on Piedmont and Peachtree) is small, but nobody really knows about it, so it’s usually got less of a wait time. Flying Biscuit does not serve alcohol, so save this for your last day when you physically can’t look at alcohol anymore.
What To Do
Ugh, what isn’t there to do in Atlanta during the day? First of all, you’ll want to get brunch. Then, there are a bunch of fun neighborhoods to just walk around in. The Krog Street Tunnel is low-key famous for its graffiti (and therefore, Instagram opps), and once you’ve taken all the candids you need, head over to Krog Street Market for a hipster-y bite to eat. (Atlanta is big on markets, if you couldn’t tell.) You should also walk the Beltline—a trail that connects Cabbagetown to Piedmont Park. There are tons of cute restaurants, shops, and stuff along the way, including Ponce City Market, which you’ll need to spend a few hours in. If you’re feeling super lazy, just grab a bottle of $3 Trader Joe’s wine and sit in Piedmont Park and drink….out of Solo cups, obviously. Don’t think anyone wants to spend their bachelorette in the Fulton County jail.
Atlanta also has a ton of breweries, like the famed Sweetwater (makers of the Sweetwater IPA and Sweetwater 420 that you see at every bar everywhere), Orpheus (which overlooks Piedmont Park), and Red Brick that are fun af to go to during the day. You can go, drink, and take home a souvenir pint glass, all for less than what you’d pay for a few hours at the bar. Also, people often bring their dogs.
Where To Party
Arguably the most important. Sorry, but there are so many options that I can’t narrow them down by neighborhood. The good thing is that most of the bars within a neighborhood have a v similar feel, so you aren’t missing out if you go to different ones than the ones listed here. Let’s get into it, shall we?
Now, the thing about Park Bench, one of Buckhead’s best dives, is that it can have v college bar vibes, but only if you go at like 2am on a Thursday night. This is just like your typical bar, except there’s a pretty huge stage and there’s live music every damn night. It’s a good time. Big Sky is another great Buckhead classic for dancing and it’s slightly bougier than Park Bench. There are two levels, both of which have a massive bar, but the upper level has an outdoor patio and the lower level has the DJ. Take your pick, y’all! I mean, just think, this could be you!
Ok, one of my fave bars is called Ormsby’s, which is in the same hood as JCT. Kitchen (West Midtown). Ormsby’s is a bar with games, but not in a boring or tacky way. Ormsby’s has old-school carnival games like skeeball and board games. It’s dark, it’s smoky, it’s loud. If you’re trying to dance and discover new Ariana Grande music, Ormsby’s is not the place for you, but if you want to pound whiskey, play a heated game of Uno and make new friends in the bathroom, Ormsby’s is the place for you.
Little Trouble is also in West Midtown, but it deserves a shout-out because this place was developed in the age of Instagram for a reason. They also have decent Asian-fusion food (like a sushi burrito), which is served on one side of the bar and cocktails on the other. It’s a tiny place, so make sure you don’t get there too late if standing in stilettos for hours on end isn’t your vibe. Same, girl.
Ya can’t be in the heart of the South without hitting up a church, right?! Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room and Ping-Pong Emporium, or Church, is a bar in Edgewood that pretty much sums up what Edgewood is: unpretentious, loud and a good f*cking time. The drinks are strong af because the bartenders don’t believe in stealing your money while keeping you sober, a simple concept most bars don’t abide by. And, as the name implies, it’s church themed. As in, there’s a Jesus statue upon entry, kitschy church memorabilia covers the walls, and they even have a nun habit and priest’s robe that you can try on if you ask the bartender nicely.
MJQ looks like a shed in the middle of a random parking lot across from the Belt Line Kroger, but once you go inside and downstairs, it’s actually a really fun club/dancing spot. Trust me on this.
Other fun places are Graveyard (East Atlanta), Dark Horse (Virginia Highland—they have karaoke downstairs), and Noni’s and Mother (if you’re already in Edgewood).
Friday, Day 1
- Arrive at Hartsfield-Jackson and age 10 years while you try to figure out how to somehow get outside. Pro tip: just take the Marta to the stop closest to where you’re staying, and Uber from there. It’s direct, no traffic, and costs like $2.50.
- Arrive at the hotel/Airbnb and unpack, decorate, chill for a few minutes before walking the BeltLine to Ponce City Market for a light pre-dinner snack and some shopping.
- Dinner and drinks at JCT. Kitchen.
- Walk across the street to Little Trouble for rounds on rounds of cocktails before finishing the night at Ormsby’s.
- Sleep in preparation for tomorrow.
Saturday, Day 2
- Good morning, world!
- Brunch at South City Kitchen. Do yourself a favor and order the malted buttermilk waffle.
- Walk the meal off at Piedmont Park, which is a v short walk away (for once!) and check out any mini festivals or cute dogs that are also in the park, before heading to…
- Ladybird Grove & Mess Hall for afternoon drinks. You’ll only want to go here if the weather is decent, which it usually is. If you follow anyone on Instagram who lives in Atlanta, chances are, you’ve already seen Ladybird. Big yellow umbrellas and gigantic cups of boozy lemonade ring a bell?
- Head back to the hotel/Airbnb to get ready for a nice dinner at Murphy’s. Make sure to order the Bonzo, which is basically a fudge brownie in pie-form.
- Get an Uber to the Buckhead bars, but make sure to start somewhere chill like The Ivy before making your way to Park Bench, Big Sky, and Dive Bar. If you want to dance, which, like, you should on a bach weekend, get in an Uber and head to Johnny’s Hideaway, which literally looks like the 70s in every way, shape and form. They play serious oldies and want everyone to go insane on the dance floor here. I concur.
- Good night, y’all.
Sunday, Day 3
- Brunch at The Flying Biscuit, a place I’m convinced was invented to soothe hungover bridal parties. My go-to here is a piping hot cup of coffee and the biscuit, eggs and gravy, a true Southern brunch. The biscuits are fluffy af and kind of sweet, so it really hits the spot. Ugh, I’m hungry!
- Head back to the hotel/Airbnb to pack and head back to Hartsfield-Jackson.
- Scream “ATL HO!” as your plane takes off the runway.
Images: watlmidtown, thesoutherngentlemanatl, jctkitchenandbar, bigskybuckhead, littletroubleatl / Instagram
It is my personal opinion that there are enough bars in Manhattan that no one should ever have wait in line to get in. The same can be said about bachelorette weekend destinations. There are more than enough fun cities in the world to take cute Instagrams in matching high-waisted bathing suits, but that doesn’t stop way too many of our fave brides-to-be from throwing their cowboy boots in a duffle and heading to Nashville for their bachelorette weekend. For those of you who would like to experience what being original feels like, but still want to have a truly fab weekend with your best friends, please, for f*ck’s sake, avoid the following cities and give the world some fresh inspiration!
1. Nashville
Obv had to start with the most traveled-to destination. I don’t have the precise figures on how many groups of young women travel to Honky Tonk Town for their bachelorette party, but if my Instagram is an accurate indicator of the truth, then every basic bitch in America is booking her bachelorette trip to Nashville. Don’t get me wrong, Nashville is a seriously great city, and I was this close to spending four years there for college, but I chose a different yet similarly Southern school instead. Oops? Look, if you truly love this city and are dying to take your crew here, you do you, but you will have to accept that you will be sharing Broadway with about a million other bachelorette parties. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a few new friends? However, you’re more likely to be really annoyed that it won’t really feel like your weekend. Also, give the Nashvillians a f*cking break from your drunken bullsh*t! One of my best friends lives there and said that going out is simply not an option anymore because every restaurant and bar has been taken over by bridal parties dying to run into Tim McGraw. Just let Jesus take the wheel and go to a different city below the Mason-Dixon if you want a Southern experience. Atlanta is prettier, cooler, and has a whole lot more to do (and we will have a bachelorette guide on it v soon)!
2. Las Vegas
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Get caught in the clouds.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Photo Cred: @donnalorraine15
Guys, stop going to Vegas. Just stop! You are better than the city in f*cking Nevada that’s still trying to make magic shows a thing. In my opinion, Las Vegas is like a really extravagant cage. Seriously, think about it! Your entire weekend takes place in your hotel during the day and on one street (the Strip) at night. If you venture like, one mile out of these confines, you’re in what looks like the set of Mad Max: Fury Road. People who love Vegas are f*cking extra, which I truly appreciate and respect, but you don’t need to waste your efforts on the place where Ross and Rachel got married. Look, I get it. You want Vegas because you want to wear makeup and heels at the pool without being #judged. You want to get a ton of money by having to do nothing more than deciding between red and black. You want to see if Magic Mike is a myth. We stan betches like you because you have no shame in your game! Vegas is not on your level, though. Instead, save your money and go to St. Tropez or Mexico City, two places that appreciate your level of extra.
3. Miami
Miami is like if Vegas was in Florida. Tbh, I love Miami, but not for a bachelorette party, because it’s where the rich kids in college went for spring break and then just went back for their bachelorette weekend, which is just tacky. Give yourself and your girls a place they can get excited about without having to worry about running into their grandparents on the beach. Yes, there’s always South Beach, but you will be one of many a bachelorette group taking group photos on the sand. You can do better, ladies. Again, Miami is so overdone because it’s a cool city, but there are so many other cool cities where you can do almost everything you’d do in Miami. For instance, ever been to St. Augustine? It’s gorgeous, full of charming bars, and obv has plenty of beaches so you can come home with a fresh af tan. What’s not to love?
4. New Orleans
Did we just write a Betches’ Bachelorette Guide to New Orleans? Yes. Is New Orleans overdone for bachelorette weekends? Yes! Look, the people wanted a NOLA guide, so we gave them a NOLA guide. See, we listen to you! However, as amazing as the Big Easy is, it’s time to go somewhere else. I just want to reiterate for the fourth time that all of these cities are great, but they’re almost so great that too many people are visiting them and making them sh*tty. For instance, apparently there was once a time when Rome was like a cute, charming quiet city in Italy that wasn’t dripping in tourists taking photos on iPads. Don’t let New Orleans become the next Rome, y’all. New Orleans is such a hot spot because of Bourbon Street and the Garden District (and, let’s be real, Cafe Du Monde), but think of all of the cities with amaze streets that you’d use for the same purposes as Bourbon Street. If all you want to do is bar hop on an aesthetically pleasing, historical street, go to M Street in Georgetown! It’s like the Northern New Orleans, but with preppier boys to flirt with and ruder bar tenders because Southern hospitality truly only exists in the South.
5. Charleston
Remember when everyone on the f*cking planet realized Iceland exists, so at the exact same time, everyone booked a trip to Iceland? Charleston is the Iceland of the U.S. because it suffered the same influx of people, but in the form of bachelorette parties. I totally understand why: it’s like if Julia Engel was a city. Sadly, Charleston is too popular for its own good and we need to give it a rest so that it can become cool again. This tiny southern gem and its population of freelancers were not prepared for the swarm of matching T-shirts and people asking “Hi, sorry, excuse me? Can you take our pic 80 different ways?” Charleston is so f*cking charming it hurts, but for this very reason, it’s losing sight of who it is! There are other cities out there that have a pale pink house next to a mint green house with a palm tree in between! We just need to find them! Savannah is better in my opinion. You know why I think that? Because it’s the only city in the South that the Union’s army spared because it was too damn beautiful. You know what city got pummeled? Charleston!
Images: nashvilletn, cosmopolitan_lv, themiamiguide, visitneworleans, galmeetsglam / Instagram
NeNe Leakes is coming back to Real Housewives of Atlanta next month, and it looks like we can expect plenty of drama from the new season. Even thought the season premiere is still weeks away, NeNe and Kim Zolciak are already getting messy over social media, and Kim’s daughter and younger clone, Brielle, is getting involved too.
Kim and NeNe have always had a…um…rocky relationship, and the drama picked right back up last week. The whole thing started because Brielle implied that there were cockroaches in NeNe’s bathroom. There were also two videos of the alleged cockroaches, which we didn’t actually watch because we live in constant fear of bugs taking over our lives.
NeNe wasn’t so thrilled with the cockroach accusations, and decided to start calling Kim and Brielle racist for making up such a ridiculous story. Now, we’re not like professional fact-checkers or anything, but the racist thing seems a little bit random. Like, maybe Kim and Brielle are racists for other reasons, but these accusations by themselves do not seem to amount to racism, unless we missed something here.
Also, can I just say that as someone who lived in Atlanta for many years, you could literally live inside a giant Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and STILL get cockroaches? Atlanta is a humid breeding ground for these bugs; they are everywhere; it’s really not that serious.
Anyway. NeNe also said that Brielle should “go somewhere and let the air outta those fake lips, fake titties and fake ass because you will never be @kylejenner.” We’re literally crying this is so good. Also, NeNe mistakenly tagged Kyle Jenner instead of Kylie, because she obviously is too busy coming up with sick burns to check her spelling. Even so, I can’t let go of the feeling that it’s weird to be a full-grown woman with children attacking a 20-year-old on social media (says the girl who regularly hates on Bella Thorne for a living).
We’re not done. NeNe then posted multiple other items calling Kim and Brielle racists, and they predictably didn’t love that. Now it turns out that Kim has hired lawyers (how did she not already have lawyers) to help deal with the situation, which means things could really get ugly. Okay, we’re kind of living for this. What a shit show. Good luck proving you’re not a racist to the courts, Kim; that seems like a very abstract task. Plus, I’m pretty sure hiring a lawyer because someone called you racist is peak white people shit.
Unfortunately, Kim and Brielle might not be helping their legal case, because they’ve since gone on Twitter to claim that NeNe has a prescription pill addiction. The pair posted some very thinly veiled subtweets because this is like middle school or something, and NeNe responded by, you guessed it, calling them racist and white trash.
Don’t worry, we’re still a little confused too. Okay Andy Cohen, you got us, you win, we’ll obviously be watching the new season.
