A few weeks ago, we broke that Southern Charm’s Craig and Naomie were dunzo and it got us thinking: What the fuck is going to happen to our fave shit show other than Vanderpump Rules? Obvi they won’t be fighting anymore. Landon’s moved to Cali so that kills any chance of her obsessing over middle-aged rich dudes who act like they’re 17. Cam is having a baby, which is cool for Real Housewives but a little off-brand for Southern Charm tbh. And what else could happen with Thomas and Kathryn? We did the whole on again, off again thing. We did the whole drug use-turned-rehab-turned-custody battle thing. What else even is there? Well Thomas Ravenel has a new girlfriend aka there’s a famous Kathryn Calhoun Dennis psychotic breakdown in our future. All right, Southern Charm. I see you.
The lucky lady (lol jk) is Ashley Jacobs and apparently, the two of them met on Cinco De Mayo in Santa Barbara so like, they probs drunkenly hooked up after a few too many margs, but weren’t exclusive until now. Now she’s moved to Charleston to pursue her nursing career (cuz they don’t have nurses in Santa Barbara…?) and things are officially offish. Oh shit. Someone get me an APB on Kathryn, stat. Unfortunately for us, Ashley’s Insta is private so we can’t do too much stalking, but from what we can tell she’s like, really pretty. And actually has a job. And isn’t in her early 20s dating a dude that could be her grandpa. So the odds are in her favor in terms of me liking her more than Kat.
And while all of this was relatively easy to find, I’m no regular journalist. I’m Lisa Vanderbetch, for fuck’s sake, so I dug a little deeper. And it turns out, dis bish seems annoying af. If you look in the comments of T-Rav’s posts, Ashley replies to anyone who says anything about him moving on from his baby mama. Like, don’t you have patients to tend to or something to do instead of reading your bf’s Instagram comments? She’s also friends with Landon so, like, she at least has to suck a little. Seriously, check out this crazy:
Yeesh. Check out the all-caps. Check out the passive-aggressive use of emojis. I thought I wouldn’t say this post-2012, but this bitch cray.
As for whether or not she’ll be on the show, I’m assuming so, but nothing has been confirmed. She doesn’t have to be a full-time cast member or anything, I just need her and Kathryn to be in the same room one time. That’s all. You listening, Andy?