It’s been a weird few years in the life of Rob Kardashian, and I have many questions about his life. Ever since his relationship with Blac Chyna crashed and burned back in 2017, Rob has pretty much been back in exile. He’ll resurface every once in a while, but mostly he just gets half-hearted birthday wishes from his siblings on Instagram. It’s been ages since he’s been seen at a major family event like the Kylie Skin launch party, and he doesn’t even make it on the family Khristmas Kard.
Yesterday, something seemed off when Kris Jenner all of a sudden posted telling people to go follow Rob’s Instagram page. I mean, is Rob Kardashian really that desperate for followers? Does he even really use his Instagram? A quick look at his feed shows that he first posted last summer, but then wasn’t active again until a couple weeks ago. Most of the posts are just ads for his sock line, Arthur George, which is apparently still a thing. Sidenote: if you’ve ever bought Arthur George socks, please detail your experience in the comments.
Kourtney Kardashian also posted an Instagram story on Wednesday telling everyone to go follow Rob. These posts seemed a little fishy to begin with—what does Rob Kardashian have going on that he desperately needs this thirsty publicity from his mom and sister? I already had questions, but then I noticed something on Rob’s profile that made my head spin.
“Account managed by Jenner Communications.”
WHAT. Okay, first thing, why is Rob Kardashian not running his own Instagram account? But more importantly, WHAT THE F*CK IS JENNER COMMUNICATIONS? Does Kris have a secret communications empire that we know nothing about? Does Kris have secret agents everywhere? Is this *literally* a case for the FBI? All I know is that my new mission in life is to go undercover and intern at Jenner Communications.
I did a little digging, and I’m pleased to announce that I found the website for Jenner Communications…which might actually be called Kardashian Jenner Communications, it’s a little hard to tell.
This looks…janky, and it also does nothing to convince me that Jenner Communications isn’t a front for the FBI. The page for Jenner Communications on Glassdoor has three employee reviews that are all completely negative, but to be fair, I’m not convinced that any of these people actually worked there.
Omg. Imagine having Kris Jenner as your boss at an internship. If I walked into my summer internship and the first task I was given was managing Rob Kardashian’s sock Instagram, I would faint from excitement. Speaking of Rob’s Instagram, let’s get back to the real issue at hand here: why isn’t Rob Kardashian managing his own Instagram account?
The good people at TMZ got the important info directly from Instagram. Apparently, Rob Kardashian is still banned from Instagram for posting revenge porn of Blac Chyna back in 2017. That seems like it was longer ago, but it was honestly horrifying, so he deserves it. Due to the ban, Rob’s official Instagram account is technically a fan account, and there are specific guidelines about how it has to be managed.
First, Rob isn’t allowed to create or post any of the content on the account, which explains why it’s managed by Jenner Communications (aka the FBI, I’m sure of it). Additionally, the bio and all of the captions for the account can’t be written in first person. Basically, Instagram wants everyone to know that Rob has nothing to do with his account. According to TMZ, Insta has no plans to lift Rob’s ban anytime soon. I’m fine with that.
So basically, Rob Kardashian is still banned from Instagram, which means that some poor lucky intern has to post the photos of the Arthur George DILF socks. Sadly, it’s not me. Brb, going to go devote my life to being a Jenner Communications truther. It’s the only thing that matters to me now.
Images: krisjenner, robkardashianofficial / Instagram; Kardashian Jenner Communications; Glassdoor
Arthur George, Rob Kardashian’s sock company that you probably forgot existed, recently pushed their line of “wedding socks” this week, which is odd considering the closest Rob Kardashian has ever come to being married was knocking up Blac Chyna and having her steal both his baby and his Eggos while he was out of the house. I’m not sure why he even pretends to be a “businessman” when he probably still gets a weekly allowance from Kris.
To be fair, the wedding collection, which features socks with phrases such as “Team Bride,” “Maid of Honor” and “Best Man,” is kind of a step up from the rest of the shit he sells. Apparently, Rob actually thinks people are going to wear socks that say “YOLO,” “Baby Daddy” and “Mother Fucker” on the sole. There’s even a pair that says “Dream On,” which is probably part of the branding contract Kris forces every Kardashian child to sign at birth. A moment of silence for the fact that there is at least one person in this world named Dream.
Honestly, I have a lot of mixed feelings about Rob trying to sell people trashy socks with cringeworthy phrases on them. On one hand, I think the socks are heinous and I am nostalgic for the good old days when Rob was hot and dating a Cheetah Girl. You know, before he got addicted to weed Doritos or whatever. On the other hand, I respect the fact that he has come up with a super elaborate way to avoid having to lose weight or ever wear real clothes again. Obviously, the only people who would want to wear Arthur George socks are people who, like Rob, wear sweatpants and slider sandals everyday and probably smell like Funyuns. In the same way that Kylie has to promote the shit out of her lip kits by using them daily, Rob has to promote his fugly socks by being a hot mess daily. I weirdly approve of using the Kardashian family name to promote his stoner agenda.
At this point, it would be more shocking if the Kardashians—whose social media presence consists almost entirely of Postmates discount codes at this point—did something we actually approved of, but tacky wedding accessories are about as bad as it gets. Rhinestone “Future Mrs” tank tops, tiaras with glitter dicks on them and “bride-to-be” sashes belong in the clearance section of Icing, not in the sacred Kardashian-Jenner empire.
If you’re looking to buy some actually cute wedding attire that wasn’t designed by the only Kardashian no one gives a fuck about, check out Shopbetches and plan a betchelorette!
