Another day, another drama desperately in need of Chris Harrison’s commentary. Not because Chris Harrison provides particularly insightful wisdom. He’s just managed to make me feel okay about a lot of things that would otherwise inspire long-term trauma. Today, it’s the news that former Bachelor Chris Soules is getting off on an aggravated misdemeanor after literally taking someone’s life back in 2017. To quote TMZ, Soules “copped incredibly sweet plea” on Tuesday. He’s now pleading guilty to “one count of leaving the scene of a personal injury accident.” Right, because getting rear-ended into a ditch by a drunk driver sounds like “personal injury” to me.
Pretty much Soules’ attitude towards this whole thing:
In case you don’t know the story,
my last sentence provides a pretty thorough summary I’ll dig in. In April 2017, Soules was driving through Iowa, rear-ended a man’s tractor and knocked it into a ditch. According to Soules’ attorney, he then proceeded to call 911 and administer CPR, staying on the scene until EMTs arrived. His attorneys have less to say about this part, but Soules then got back in his car and hauled ass out of there before the cops showed up. The tractor driver died, and cops tracked Soules back to his house. They found empty and “partially consumed” alcoholic beverages in Soules’ car, and arrested him.
Soules was initially charged with leaving the scene of an accident resulting in death, which is a felony. While other members of our community might have shut the f*ck up and been thankful they weren’t hit with a murder charge, Soules felt that any repercussions for his actions were way harsh and could not stand. So he briefly had his lawyers try to argue that the law itself—the one ruling that the surviving driver in a hit-and-run should return to the scene—was unconstitutional. In a ruling that should be considered common sense but currently feels like a tsunami level wave of relief, this argument did not stand.
Cut to today, and Soules has been offered a plea deal. In exchange for pleading guilty to the non-felony charge of leaving the scene of a personal injury accident, Soules could face up to two years in jail. He’ll receive his sentence in January. And I’m not one to argue that anyone should spend the rest of their life in jail, but I just have to say one more time that this is a really, really light punishment for literally killing someone. While drunk driving, no less! And then fleeing the scene after! Meanwhile, Ice-T is out here getting arrested for unauthorized use of the E-ZPass lane. It’s almost like…the police treat people differently based on their race??? Nah…
I’m sure it won’t be the worst news of this week, or even today. But that’s no reason we can’t let it depress us! Let’s hope at least that this is the worst Bachelor Nation news we hear until Colton’s season starts airing and Arie and Lauren give birth. At that point, I’ll just resign myself to rage-weeping through the next 12 or so Mondays.
Images: Giphy (2)
Yesterday TMZ broke the news that Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise alum Amanda Stanton was arrested in Vegas for domestic battery. Damn, that boob job really changed her. Let’s break down the story here.
Amanda was in Vegas for a bachelorette party (oh GOD, will I still have to go to things like this when I have two kids?!) and was partying at The Encore with friends and her new BF, Bobby Jacobs, because apparently this was a co-ed bachelorette party. Word of advice, if you saw them do it on Vanderpump Rules, RUN! I’d like to imagine this is what she was wearing during the incident.
Things started to get a little rowdy, and so security came to the room to quiet the party down. Apparently the guard was talking to Bobby, and Amanda got involved and shoved Bobby. So, even though Amanda is downplaying the incident (I’ll get to that in a second), the security guard thought the shove was serious enough to warrant a call to the cops, and Amanda was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery. Here’s her mugshot:
Finally, a photo that is truly #nofilter
TMZ also reports that Amanda and Bobby are still together and that they both think someone slipped something into her drink. Okay, sure. Maybe the bride? I heard they can be vengeful b*tches. But seriously though, let’s not blame the idiotic behavior of a 90-pound woman who probably had one too many vodka sodas on being drugged unless we have some proof, mmmkay? Also literally every girl that does anything stupid while blackout in Vegas blames it on being drugged. Are you all hanging out with Alan?
Amanda has responded to the arrest through none other than
the magazine of the stars, People.com. They report: Z-lister mouthpiece
“Amanda is embarrassed and ashamed this happened and sincerely apologizes to hotel security and the Las Vegas Police Department,” Stanton’s rep, Steve Honig, tells PEOPLE. “Amanda is a gentle, respectful person who has never gotten physical with anyone under any circumstance.”
You mean, except for this circumstance…? The statement continues:
“When hotel security asked her and Bobby to quiet down, she got a bit rambunctious. Amanda gave Bobby what she thought was a playful shove; hotel security did their job and reported the incident to the police, who in turn did their job.”
A playful shove?! Me thinks you are reaching, Amanda. Where are the producers now? Roll the tape!
I also think we should all take this as a very important lesson that drunken behavior that may be acceptable on Bachelor in Paradise is the same kind of behavior that will get you arrested in the real world, okay? Chris Harrison can’t help you fools now.
Images: Shutterstock; amanda_stanton/Instagram; Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department; Giphy