Is there anything more perfect in this world than when two beautiful people get together and form a power couple? It’s hard to look away. You know the kind of couples I’m talking about. We’ve got Brad and Angelina. Blake and Ryan. Chrissy and John. Leo and *insert 21-year-old lingerie model here*. We expect these couples. They make perfect sense. They just feel right. But recently we’ve had a, let’s say, non-traditional celebrity as one-half of the hottest couples, and I’m trying to wrap my head around just WHAT it is that makes Pete Davidson irresistible. In the last year and a half alone, Pete has been engaged to Ariana Grande, dated Kate Beckinsale and Margaret Qualley, and now things are getting romantic with Kaia Gerber. Over the weekend, they celebrated his 26th birthday and were spotted holding hands. It. Is. On. I think anyone with eyes would agree that Pete doesn’t look like your traditional Hollywood leading man, or someone that we usually see with the most beautiful women in the world. So what is it about him that makes women flock to him? Let me and my remedial Psych 101 knowledge break it down for you!
Pete Davidson is the reason that BDE exists in our lexicon, and it was exhaustively discussed all over the internet last summer. So what contributes to his BDE? First, he’s tall. You might not think this is all that important, but most of the men in show biz are tiny. I know this for a fact because I was once at a fashion show and the Jonas brothers were there, and I scooped up all three of them in my palm, put them in the front pocket of my overalls, and walked right on out. I’m not even kidding. So, tall is rare and tall is exciting. Also, unlike Kourtney Kardashian, he is interesting to look at. He might not be traditionally handsome, but that is a FACE, you know? It has presence. And finally, he’s intense. He falls hard. These relationships have not lasted a long time, but they’ve gotten serious quickly, with engagements and move-ins, and premieres, etc. And who doesn’t want a guy that’s completely obsessed with them, to the point that you get matching tattoos, a pet rabbit, and the inability to ever be physically separated before you even learn their middle name? I sure do. That’s totally healthy, right?
This one doesn’t need much explanation. He’s on SNL. He joined the show when he was only 20 years old as one of the youngest cast members ever. He also has a movie called King of Staten Island coming out in 2020 that is based on his life, and that he wrote with a guy you might have heard of, Judd Apatow. Sure, his humor is dark, but I think most people would appreciate someone whispering horrific jokes into their ear at their mother’s funeral. Just me? At the VERY least, Kate Beckinsale was definitely into that.
He Gets Lots Of Publicity
As I always say around here, if you think that celebrities are not calculated and strategic about their images, then it must be nice living in your very empty and uncomplicated brain. Can I move in, please? Pete Davidson is officially a publicity magnet. Ever since his relationship with Ariana, his profile has blown up, and people are interested in his every move. This makes him a great choice for a young female celebrity who wants to put her name on the map. I mean, Margaret Qualley? Not to be rude, but who the f*ck are you? Approximately 12 people watched The Leftovers. And yeah, Kaia Gerber is getting pretty famous, but if she wants to overtake Gigi Hadid as the top second-generation supermodel, she really needs to up her profile. And a buzzy relationship was the one thing she was missing. So now they’ll eat that Magnolia cake, they’ll hold hands around town, they’ll profess their undying love on Instagram, and then they’ll break up. All of this will happen in the next 30 days. The relationship won’t last long, but that publicity bump for Kaia will last forever.
And there you have it! Pete Davidson, hot girl magnet. Did I miss anything else that makes him so irresistible? Let me know!
Images: Giphy (2); whowhatwhere,commentsbycelebs/Instagram
I am so pro-tattoos, guys. I even have one. It’s a teeny design from a literary reference. You know what it’s not? A relationship-related tattoo. Because, unlike many of our favorite celebs, I am not a f*cking moron. For some reason in the world of Hollywood, it’s considered super cool and romantic to get your partner’s name or some kind of matching tat with your current lover. Considering I’ve had milk in my fridge longer than most celebrity relationships, this is a very, very dumb idea. And once their confronted with the realities of their mistake, or the drugs wear off, celebs have no choice but to try to cover up their poor choices. Here are the worst celebrity couples tattoos to remind you to think before you ink.
Pete Davidson & Ariana Grande
The reigning king and queen of tattoo f*ckups, and the source of a lot of drama recently, Ariana and Pete’s short-term relationship resulted in so many tattoos to cover up. Pete had Ariana’s bunny ear mask behind his ear, Ariana has “always” on her ribs in Pete’s handwriting. They have matching tattoos of: hearts, the word “reborn”, “H2GKMO” which apparently means “honest to God, knock me out”, clouds, Pete’s dad’s badge number, the phrase “mille tendresse”, and each other’s name/initials on their ring fingers. Like, how did they even have time for that many couples tattoos? Did they just schedule a recurring weekly appointment? With the end of their engagement, the tattoo cover-ups have started. But joke’s on them, because it seems that they now have new matching tattoos of black hearts—one to cover Pete’s bunny mask and one that covers Pete’s name on Ariana’s finger. Pete also has a teeny A next to his black heart. I guess so he can remember who gave it to him? How poetic.
Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson Show Off Matching Black Heart Tattoos Weeks After Split https://t.co/HGAeEB99OP pic.twitter.com/44kjuaJQhH
— Get Asian News (@GetAsianNews) November 23, 2018
Pete is on this list ~again~ because this is not the only time he’s had to cover up an awful relationship tattoo. Literally, earlier this year, he covered up some real scary tattoos of his ex Cazzie David, as well as some questionable quotes. You’d think he would have learned.
ALSO, Ariana Grande recently covered up *another* tattoo related to Pete. She had previously gotten his dad’s badge number on her foot, but it’s since been covered up with the name “Myron”, which is the name of Mac Miller’s dog. So I guess she’s not that grateful for her ex after all… too soon? You’re right, probably too soon.
Adrienne Bailon & Rob Kardashian
Who even remembers a world where Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon dated total trash like Rob Kardashian? What’s even weirder is the fact that I don’t think he was even trash back then. He was fit, alert, in school at USC, and I think he wanted to go to law school? Who would have thought he’d become the sad sack he is now, with a baby mama like Blac Chyna, and his mom running his sock line? Anyway. Rob’s life took a turn for the pathetic after he cheated on Adrienne, who got her ass TF out. Unforunately, said ass was still branded with Rob’s name. It’s unknown whether Bailon put something else over the probs pretty bad scar left from her tattoo removal, but let’s just hope it’s not another relationship tattoo.
Rob, meanwhile, covered up his Adrienne tattoo on his rib cage with a Rita Ora design that Kim K herself referred to as, “a life-sized Barbie doll that has now turned into a Cabbage Patch” with Rob’s weight gain. Not nice, Kim. We don’t know what it looks like now, but I’m going to say probs not amazing.
Before Angelina was the mother of a litter, she was a wild child who wore vials of other people’s blood as fashion and got celebrity couples tattoos. The “Billy Bob” on her arm is for Billy Bob Thornton, which she eventually got removed and replaced with her kid’s birthplace coordinates. She was Billy Bob’s fifth marriage, so I kinda think she should have seen this coming. At least the cover-up is about her kids and not Brad. You’re stuck with your kids forever.
Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards
Charlie and Denise had a tumultuous relationship, but that didn’t stop them from getting each other’s names tattooed on their limbs. Charlie got his covered up by the anthem of his mental breakdown, “Winning”, and Denise got a v strange little fairy on hers.
Celebrity tattoo fails Link: https://t.co/xkNFQSVal8#DeniseRichards #Celebrity #tattoo #failshttp://ift.tt/1h6Q5VL pic.twitter.com/0PoznQTY9z
— spothifi.com (@onemusic_tv) October 28, 2015
It’s easy to forget that Johnny Depp and Winona Rider were a thing in the 90s/early 2000s, but it’s probably because most of you weren’t even f*cking born yet. Johnny got “Winona Forever” tatted on him after only five months of dating. The couple lasted three years before finally calling it quits and Johnny lasered off part of his tattoo. It now reads “Wino Forever”. I would be mad at it, but it’s a lifestyle. More specifically, my lifestyle.
Images: johnnydeppofficial, angelinajolieofficial / Instagram; onemusic_tv, getasiannews / Twitter; klassicalmuzik / Youtube