Welcome to Aquarius season, aka the mini age of Aquarius. This air sign is known for bringing people together, big picture ideas, and general rebellion, so bust out the metal straws, biodegradable bento boxes, and zero-waste grocery bags. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself taking to the streets over whatever cause is important to you, or, at the very least, posting some extremely long Instagram captions about the 2020 election. Basically, Aquarius season makes us all Cher at the end of Clueless donating her ski equipment to the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief Fund. Every little bit counts!

Aries

Aquarius season 2020 will be opening up your sense of what’s possible, Aries, meaning it’s time to upgrade your situation. Still using a phone with a cracked screen? Still holding on to that one random pair of underwear from 2005? It’s time to let it all go. This Aquarius season, you’re leveling the f*ck up in all aspects of your life, and nobody has ever leveled up in old underwear. It’s just a fact.

Taurus

Aquarius season is reinvigorating your drive and ambition, so don’t give up on those 2020 goals just yet. This is a time to work on the big picture and make your plan of attack, so say yes to vision boards, outlines, timelines, and drafts. Get yourself prepared as f*ck, so that when the right moment arrives you can hop on it, knowing that it is step one of your plan to achieve complete world domination by 2021.

Gemini

Aquarius is making you feel like the world is your oyster, and we literally mean the whole world. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself scrolling through travel hashtags this week or trying to convince yourself to open another credit card for the travel miles. If splurging on a last minute trip is available to you, God bless, and I’d love to hang out sometime. If it’s not, try exploring some unknown parts of your own area, like a new bar or one of those fancy movie theaters that serves dinner and lets you get drunk during the movie.

Cancer

Aquarius season is increasing your passion for basically everything, but especially for your romantic relationships. You want romance, you want drama, you want sloppy makeouts in a semi public location. Basically, you want to be on The Bachelor. But since this season is already airing, it’s time to go out and meet some people. Luckily, there’s an app for that. Actually, there’s like 500 apps for that.

Leo

Aquarius is igniting your need to couple up, but not only in romance. Everywhere you go, you’re going to be forming dynamic duos, whether that be by tag-teaming an awesome project at work or by taking on a duet at karaoke night. The Aquarius influence has you wanting to connect with your fellow man, or should I say, your fellow drunk girl at the bar who is contemplating ordering cheese fries.

Virgo

Great news, Virgo! Aquarius is bringing you the energy you need to actually hit your fitness goals. Yes, even the ones you gave up on January 2nd. Because Aquarius is all about doing sh*t in groups, you’ll find yourself way more motivated by group fitness classes than by solo YouTube workouts at home. Sign up for the two-week intro deal at some studios, or better yet, ask a friend if you can tag along on one of her buddy passes and get in for free.

Libra

Aquarius is boosting the f*ck out of your confidence. Why not use it to make a love match with somebody you actually like, and not just somebody who is tall and available on weekends? Your magnetic energy will literally draw people to you, meaning you’ll have more luck meeting potential suitors IRL than on the apps. As an added bonus, you’ll get way less dick pics that way.

Scorpio

Close down the blinds, fire up the crock pot, and put your phone on do not disturb, Scorpio, because Aquarius has you hibernating all f*cking month. The world is deeply jealous. Under Aquarius’ influence, you’ll be feeling the need to connect with your home and domestic life, but that doesn’t mean you have to just sit around doing nothing. Paint a wall, build a shelf, Marie Kondo the f*ck out of your bedroom— anything that will work as a reasonable excuse when your friends ask you to leave the house.

Sagittarius

This Aquarius season, you’re in the mood to go out and do sh*t, despite the fact that its cold and Netflix has like 10 good true crime docs out right now. Whether they be group outings or solo outings, day drinking or night drinking, you need to get the f*ck out of the house and away from the TV. Save the TV shows for when you’re hungover on Sunday.

Capricorn

RIP your season, Capricorn. All good things must come to an end. Did you go a little splurge crazy during your birthday month? If so, you’re in luck because Aquarius is bringing you the financial discipline you need to dig yourself out of whatever credit hole you’ve gotten yourself in. You can probably start by cooling it on the Seamless.

Aquarius

Welcome to your season, Aquarius! Everyone’s acting a bit more like you this month and thank the good Lord for it. This is the month to focus on yourself and your needs, which can be tough for a sign that prefers to focus on literally everything else. For one glorious month, all the other signs are finally able to join you in seeing the big picture, meaning you won’t have to spend so much time explaining sh*t. Enjoy every last minute of it before its Pisces season and you’re back to explaining everything to everyone.

Pisces

Bust out the beret, Pisces! Your already creative sign is getting an extra dose of inspiration this month thanks to Aquarius, meaning you’re going to be your most artsy-fartsy self. Focus on things that feed your creative spirit this month like art projects, writing, dance, or just coming up with new excuses for why you won’t be coming into the office today.

Images: Giphy (6)

Because I have no faith in committing to bettering myself for an entire year, New Year’s resolutions aren’t really my thing, but for those of you who vowed to improve your lives by like, going to the gym and ~traveling,~ you’re probably excited for the first official weekend of 2020. This horoscope is for you guys. If you need some guidance on how to start the new decade, look no further. According to yearly-horoscope.com, “2020 will be a year when all the zodiac signs will be able to take advantage of a new beginning, both in their personal life and financially.” Lol, could this be a little less specific? Can’t wait for what’s to come!

Aries

Aries likes to be number one at everything they do, so you guys are def fans of making New Year’s resolutions, because doing so just gives you an opportunity to meet a goal. Overachievers like you may be annoying as hell to those around you, but you don’t give a f*ck because you’re here to win. This weekend, you’ll spend your days making spreadsheets of your five-year plan and spend your nights telling people about them. You’ll want to get your life on track this weekend so you know what to expect for the year ahead, but don’t spend too much time on this because, if our government has taught us anything, it’s that all plans fall apart rather quickly. Use this opportunity to be a little more adventurous, ya know? Explore a new neighborhood at the very least.

Taurus

From both the internet and my Taurus friends, I’ve learned that Tauruses “enjoy relaxing in serene, bucolic environments surrounded by soft sounds, soothing aromas, and succulent flavors.” Wow, deep. Anyway, even though Tauruses are described like literal babies, they’re nothing if not down for whatever, so take a seat and let your friends do the planning this weekend. Expensive dinner? Sure. Stay in with a bottle of Pinot? Sounds delicious. Go out until 5am? Fine, whatever. Take this time to mute your group chat until someone puts forth a time and place, then just meet everyone there. You do you, Taurus.

Gemini

Geminis are impulsive, nosy, and intelligent creatures who like to know everything about what everyone’s doing. You check everyone’s Instagram stories not because you love them, but rather, because you want to know where everyone is so you can make an educated decision on where you’ll be posted up. Geminis can’t be tied down, so maybe don’t meet up with the guy who spent your whole first date telling you how much you’d love his parents. Stick with Mr. Right Now this weekend, because starting a new decade in a will-we-won’t-we war just doesn’t sound like your cup of tea.

Cancer

Anyone under this sign may claim to be psychic, because Cancers are famous for being able to pick up on various energies. OMG, it’s like they have a fifth sense! I mean, picking up on energies is a fancy way of saying you can read a room, so congratulations on not completely lacking empathy. You’ve been going hard all damn year, so take this weekend to chill with friends. Nothing crazy or expensive. Maybe invite your friends over for a potluck dinner where all you have to provide is the table and your friends bring everything else. 

Leo

Leos are known for being theatrical, and they think of themselves as kings and queens. Honestly, I was born into the wrong sign, I think. Anyway, Leos are happy to be the loudest in the room and love to have all eyes on them. If you’re a Leo, this weekend take your quieter, more subdued friends out on the town where you can drink and dance until you can’t no more. This is your time to start the new year with a f*cking bang, so throw on a blue wig and go to an underground salsa club, or slip into your finest and end up at a 5-star hotel bar, the night is yours to own. 

Virgo

I am a Virgo and I proudly fit into the little box presented to me: Virgos have a deep-rooted presence in the material world. Yeah, sounds about right. Obviously, there are a lot of more down-to-earth qualities Virgos possess, but none that relate to this weekend specifically. Go shopping this weekend. You just got paid, so spend that hard-earned cheddar on that pair of boots you’ve wanted since last summer, then take them for a little walk around your favorite bar. If you’re really feeling yourself then be bold and invite the guy you’ve been seeing for a little while. It’s time for him to finally meet your friends already. 

Libra

It is my personal belief that all Libras change their names to something like Juliana and become yoga instructors, because Libras are obsessed with balance and harmony. Right on, I guess? So start the year on a good note and find your center. Whether that means hot yoga, vegan pizza, and an early night, or a romantic dinner date with your SO, do you. You won’t be persuaded to join your friends for an all-night banger, so maybe just put your phone on do not disturb until the weekend is up. That seems like something Libras would do anyway. 

Scorpio

Scorpios are as passionate as they are emotional, so maybe do yourself a favor and take it easy this weekend. By going out, you’re just setting yourself up to get in a fight with your boyfriend and regret the whole thing the next day. Instead of going out, keep it casual and invite everyone over for wine and cheese. I mean, everyone likes wine and cheese, right? What could go wrong?

Sagittarius

You guys don’t do anything unless you’ll learn something from it. You’d make my dad so proud! You’re pretty much up for anything, so if the crew wants to go out, join them! When you drunkenly text your ex 87 times, you’ll learn a valuable lesson that will keep you on an upward trajectory. You generally don’t regret anything (like, anything) because you’re always on an educational path that is leading you in the right direction. So if you want to crush the last of the bottle, do it!

Capricorn

Capricorn is represented by the sea goat, a mythological creature with the body of a goat and tail of a fish. Wow, swipe right! The significance of the sexy dual-creature situation is that Capricorns are good at navigating physical and emotional realms, which makes you an ideal friend in situations like “What should we do tonight?” You’re the decision-maker and your friends are grateful for you. This weekend, see how you feel before setting the plan in motion. If you want to go out, do it. If you’d rather stay in, your peeps are down. The weekend is your oyster. 

Aquarius

You guys are assertive and independent, so if your friends are all tired from their NYE parties, but you want to go out, you’ll do it. Grab a small group of your friends and head to your favorite bar to see where the night takes you. It may even take you to uncharted territory, but since you’re such an explorer, you’re okay with that. Maybe you’ll even meet someone who strikes your fancy along the way. Sold!

Pisces

Generally, Pisces have a little trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, but you don’t really care. Managing expectations is not something at which you’re particularly skilled, but if fantasizing that the sh*tty college bar your friends dragged you to will end with your long-time boyfriend finally proposing, more power to you. You see the best in everything, so you tend to be happy to do whatever the crew wants to do. Just go with the flow and wear something cute, because you never know what’s going to happen! 

Images: Giphy (12)

It may be hard to believe given the fact that you’re probably just now surfacing from a food- and alcohol-induced coma, but there’s magic in the air this weekend. The Sun and Jupiter both enter Capricorn today, a union that only takes place once every 12 years, which means that for the next two days, anything could happen. Yes, maybe even getting off your parent’s couch and eating a vegetable, but let’s not get too crazy.

Aries

This weekend is brining good news, Aries. Let’s just say that some long-awaited things will finally be coming to fruition, and it’s all down to your hard work and borderline obsessive dedication. Whatever, the ends justify the means, right? This could be a small-scale achievement or something that’s been a long time in the making, so make sure you celebrate accordingly!

Taurus

This weekend is the perfect time to pursue any passions or adventures that you’ve been holding yourself back from, Taurus. You’ll find yourself not only acutely motivated to get after them, but suddenly with the means of doing so as well. Don’t waste this opportunity! It’s time to, dare I say, take the bull by the horns (I know, I’m sorry).

Gemini

This is a weekend for bold moves, Gemini. You’ve had something to say for a while now and have been uncharacteristically quiet about it. Well guess what? NOT ANYMORE. Arm yourself with your favorite form of liquid courage and then make your voice heard. It’s the holidays, so you don’t need to worry about the ramifications until next week.

Cancer

The union of Jupiter and the Sun is going to give you that extra boost of courage to start making moves, Cancer. If there are things being left unsaid, or relationships that could use a little definition, this is the weekend for getting after it. Your typical aversion to change will be nowhere in sight for the next two days, so don’t be afraid to go big.

Leo

If there’s anything about your life that you’ve been unsatisfied with, Leo, this is the weekend for tackling it. For the next few days you’re going to find yourself dedicated to making changes, be they personal, environmental, or physical, and there’s a good chance they’ll actually stick. Don’t be afraid to take a good look at your life (almost impossible to do this time of year, I know) and figure out which parts of it you’re unhappy with. Does this almost sound like a New Year’s resolution? Well, yeah. But just less cliche.

Virgo

It’s time to start repping yourself, Virgo. You’ve been working hard—on your career, on your relationships, on yourself—and it’s time that people started recognizing it. You don’t need some big occasion to showcase how great you are, just get out there and let the people know what you’ve been up to. Recognition is an important step in the process, and well-deserved at this point.

Libra

This weekend you’ll find yourself wanting to connect with family and friends. Don’t fight it! That’s literally what the holidays are for! Don’t feel guilty shirking social responsibilities in lieu of kicking back with the people you care about, and likely don’t get to see as often. There’s nothing quite so soothing as looking like a total bum on your parents’ couch, watching movies and eating food that your normal self wouldn’t be caught dead even looking at. Soak it all in! This doesn’t happen all that often.

Scorpio

Your weekend forecast shows 100% chance of functional communication, Scorpio. Maybe not the outlook you were hoping for, but one that is very much needed. Spend the next couple days getting things off your chest, that way you can go into the new year with a clear conscious and substantially less baggage. It may not always be the easiest route, but it’s the one that will have you feeling better in the long run.

Sagittarius

You hear that, Sagittarius? It’s the sweet dulcet tones of you spending a bunch of money this weekend. Those post-Christmas sales won’t know what hit them. You’ve done a great job of being financially responsible this year (for the most part), so what better way to celebrate than getting out there and spending all that holiday cash? Don’t feel guilty—you deserve a treat now and then, too.

Capricorn

Get ready, Capricorn, because this weekend you’re going to go against all your instincts and do the one thing you truly hate doing: take a risk. We promise, it’s going to be okay. The Sun and Jupiter moving into Capricorn is going to have you feeling like luck is on your side, and it’s time to finally make those bold moves you’ve been secretly plotting for months. You’ve thought about it, dreamt about it, spent an outrageous amount of time strategizing around it, which just leaves one thing left: doing it.

Aquarius

This weekend is about you, Aquarius. That’s it. The only things you need to concern yourself with the next 72 hours is what you want, what you need, and what position you’re most comfortable in pursuing those two things. The new year and all the stress that comes with it is right around the corner, so hold onto this last bit of 2019 and use it to rest before real life kicks back in.

Pisces

The Sun and Jupiter entering Capricorn has fostered the perfect environment to get the gang back together. You’re feeling social, you’re feeling nostalgic, and you’re feeling like maybe getting day drunk—so call up your friends and make it happen! Being an adult means that these kind of reunions don’t get to happen as often as we’d like, so take advantage of the downtime and relive your college years—you know, when you just hung out on a couch with your friends all day and worried about literally nothing. Ah, youth.

Images: Giphy (12)

Venus enters Aquarius today, which means the weekend just got a lot more exciting. From social butterflies to sleepy homebodies, everyone is about to kick things up a couple notches. Prepare yourself for the madness by checking out our weekend horoscopes.

Aries

Venus entering Aquarius this weekend means one thing, Aries: your social calendar is about to pop off. For the next few days you’ll find that you suddenly have limitless energy for entertaining and given the time of year, it didn’t come a minute too soon. Take advantage of this boon and be sure to light up the room at every event you attend. Going home for the holidays inevitably means running into people from your past (both good and bad), so you might as well make it worth their while.

Taurus

There’s good news on the horizon, Taurus. All your hard work is about to pay off in a big way, but under one condition: that you keep at it. It can be tempting to abandon work for a seemingly limitless supply of Christmas cookies and mulled wine, but you’ve got to stay strong. Months of patience will finally lead to what you’ve been waiting for, so avoid the peppermint schnapps until you’ve achieved what you set out to do. After that, though? All bets are off.

Gemini

Spontaneity is in the air this weekend, Gemini. Venus entering Aquarius is going to inspire you to drop everything in the pursuit of a grand adventure. And you know what? Maybe it’s worth pursuing. You’ve had a hard year and have more than earned the right to blow off a little steam. This weekend, consider shirking responsibility and doing whatever your heart desires. What are the holidays for if not a little indulgence?

Cancer

Love is in the air, Cancer! Or at least, the newfound patience and desire to work for it is. Venus entering Aquarius means that you’re going to suddenly find yourself ready to settle down, or take an existing relationship to the next level. Don’t fight it! Let yourself be swept up in the madness and see where it takes you. After all, ‘tis the season to be merry—and if that means hooking up with your high school crush, so be it.

Leo

You may find yourself feeling extra needy this weekend, Leo. Don’t worry, that’s just Venus settling into Aquarius and stirring up some formerly stifled emotions. Let yourself lean on those close to you, and don’t be ashamed to admit that you might be in need of some extra TLC. Even you are allowed to let your guard down every once in a while.

Virgo

You’re getting your groove back this weekend, Virgo. You may have found yourself feeling entirely unmotivated lately and chalked it up to pre-holiday procrastination. Well now that Venus has entered Aquarius, you’re back in business. Take advantage of this sudden onslaught of productivity by finishing all those projects you’d been putting off. Two weeks off will be all the sweeter knowing you’re coming back to a clean to-do list.

Libra

Time to put away the groutfit and break out the party dress, Libra. This weekend marks the beginning of your return to society, something you’ve been desperately avoiding these past few weeks. There’s no better time to make an entrance than during peak holiday season. Treat yourself to a little extra glam and then hit the town. It’s time to close out 2019 in style.

Scorpio

There’s nothing wrong with taking a break, Scorpio. The holiday season has already worn you out, so this weekend is the perfect time to recharge before diving back into the swing of things. Invite your friends over for a chill night on the couch or, better yet, turn off your phone and get in some quality you time. The world will survive without you for two days, but you may not last through one more Christmas party without a break.

Sagittarius

If you’re looking for a sign to let loose this weekend, consider this it, Sagittarius. Just because your birthday season is coming to a close, it doesn’t mean that it’s time to dive back into bed. You’ve still got energy to expend! So dust off those party shoes for one last hurrah, and make sure to leave a bottle of water by your bed. You can sleep when you’re dead, right?

Capricorn

It’s going to feel like life is pulling you in two direction this weekend, Capricorn. While it may feel easy to succumb to one or the other, we highly recommend you opt for a little balance. Your all-or-nothing personality may reject this notion, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it. What is the holiday season about, if not compromise?

Aquarius

You’re no stranger to being the center of attention, Aquarius. In fact, it’s a position you inhabit with glee. This weekend will be no different—if anything, it’ll be even more over-the-top than usual. We urge you to be sure to take care of yourself while you’re out entertaining the entire town, because you of all people know how exhausting the limelight can be. You don’t have to dim your light, but do be sure to recharge it.

Pisces

You know what you’ve earned, Pisces? Some peace and quiet. After what feels like a lifetime of entertaining, organizing, and just general socializing, it’s time to take a break. Use this weekend to kick off your self-imposed exile. Your Netflix queue is overflowing, your bed is calling, and that takeout isn’t going to order itself. Feel free to go fully off the grid without any guilt, and then consider returning to the real world come Monday. Or, you know, don’t.

Images: Giphy

They say summer is the best season to fall in love, but I beg to differ. See, what most people don’t realize is, the weather is a major game-changer. It can truly make or break your sizzling love affair. One thing’s for sure: When the temperature drops, our panties follow mother nature’s lead. It’s inevitable. Cupid always makes a cryptic cameo once the fall and winter roll around, which is why this time of year is often referred to as “cuffing season.” People aren’t just looking to just get it in during cuffing season. On the contrary, they are looking to get cuffed… in every sense of the word. Do yourself a favor and test your luck during the next cold front. 

So what will cuffing season bring for you? Thotumn, a real relationship, all of the above? These are your cuffing season horoscopes:

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Don’t air out your dirty laundry just yet, Leo. Try to keep some things to yourself—especially while texting your crush. Seriously, you’re going to have to put those jealous claws away before you scare them off. Sit tight, though. The real fun will begin once Sagittarius season (November 22) rolls around. That is, if you put your ego away, of course. 

Virgo

Bask in the pleasures of life, Virgo. Single and ready to mingle? You’ll be craving the finer things and indulging in your comfort for the majority of October. And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a mental health day, it’s important that you put your picture-perfect checklist away before you let something good go to waste. After all, there’s no such thing as perfect, you know.

Libra

You’re in love with love, Libra. Your birthday season will be swirling with romance, and you’ll be feeling as irresistible as ever. Then again, when are you not adorably charming? Let your crush wine and dine you this season, especially once November rolls around. The sun will be shaking up your pleasure-seeking second house of money, and if you’re not splurging at the mall, you might as well let someone worship you.

Scorpio

Trick or treat, Scorpio. Cuffing season has your name written all over it, because who are we kidding? You know a thing or two about those autumn and winter nights. Lana Del Rey song or not…mid-October and November will be sizzling with passion, and your crush(es) won’t able to resist your sultry poker face. Quit playing games with their hearts, Scorpio. Karma is a messy bitch who lives for drama.

Sagittarius

Don’t be afraid to take the unconventional route, Sagittarius. Your social life will be lit in October, so decide whether or not you want to keep people “friend-zoned,” or if you think they deserve that holiday hall pass. As cliche as this sounds, having a friend with benefits is very likely during this time. The good news is, you’ll most likely keep it a secret, given November’s rather cryptic astrology transits.

Capricorn

Try taking a walk on the wild side, Capricorn. Trust me when I tell you, being uptight is not a good look for you. Just so you know, it’s not that there aren’t any opportunities for love this season, it’s that you’re usually too pragmatic to realize what’s right in front of you. I’m totally serious, too. Besides, with the sun beaming through your shady 12th house of secrets towards the end of November, no one will have to know. What do I mean by that, exactly? Go and get your secret love affair on, Capricorn. You’ll thank me later.

Aquarius

Is there TSA Pre for the mile-high club, Aquarius? OK, I’m kidding. Aside from charming your superiors to death this cuffing season, you could also be traveling for business more than usual during this time. What’s it going to be? Business or pleasure? Venturing into unknown territory is inevitable towards the beginning of October, so try to make it a good time. However, don’t do anything too crazy, because once November rolls around, you’ll be back in the spotlight.

Pisces

Despite your innate desire for intimacy and soul-to-soul connection, you’re also very guarded… even with your more serious partners. What are you afraid of, Pisces? I’m not saying you’re doomed this season, I am simply advising that you go with the flow. Although, one thing’s for sure: November will be an adventure. With the sun beaming through your expansive ninth house of travel, you might decide to take an impromptu vacation and perhaps meet someone along the way.

Images: Unsplash; Giphy (12)

No matter how long it’s been since you’ve had an actual back to school, the back to school energy is in the air, and it’s time to get your sh*t together. Is it any wonder that this very special time of year falls directly in the middle of Virgo season? The stars work in mysterious ways… Here’s what you need to know this week so you can get things on track, whether it’s in the classroom, the boardroom, or the bedroom.

Aries

Last week’s Virgo wellness energy is continuing into this week as you stay focused on health and self-care. I’m talkin’ green smoothies. I’m talkin’ superfoods. I’m talkin’ HIIT classes that make you feel like you want to vomit, or die, or vomit and then die. No pain, no gain Aries! But it’ll all be worth it when you can finally open a jar of pickles without asking for assistance.

Taurus

Focus up, Taurus! You’ve been getting distracted by shiny objects lately (understandable), but it’s time to cultivate some appreciation for the sh*t that’s right in front of you. What are you thankful for right now? By taking a little time this week to appreciate what you have, you’ll be more refreshed and ready for all the amazing things to come!

Gemini

Put on your fluffiest robe and slip on your house shoes, because this week is all about the comforts of home, Gemini! The stars are giving you permission to cancel every last plan you thought you had this week and trade them in for seven consecutive nights of couch potato-ing. And after a full summer of being a social butterfly, you f*cking need it. Don’t be afraid to hibernate! Your fans—I mean friends—will still be there when you return.

Cancer

You’re still floating around like the social butterfly you are this week, Cancer, and channels of communication are open. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself going deep in the group chat, or missing half the party because you got caught up talking about the meaning of life. Human interaction in fueling you right now, so take it where you can get it. Just remember, your server doesn’t actually want to hear your life story. They’re just a person working for tips.

Leo

Summer is (basically) over, Leo, and it’s time to get serious. Specifically, it’s time to get serious about money. Gone are the days when you spend your entire paycheck on last minute beach trips. The holidays will be here sooner than you think, and IOUs are not acceptable presents. Start saving now and wow everyone with your gift giving abilities come December. (And who loves wow-ing everyone more than a Leo??)

Virgo

Finally! It’s your season, and for exactly one month people will care about having their sh*t together as much as you do. Okay so, nobody actually cares about having their sh*t together as much as you do, but they’re trying and you appreciate it. Okay, no you don’t, but still…it’s not a bad thing. Don’t be surprised if you have a lot of people hitting you up for advice this week, hoping to steal some of that Virgo glow for themselves. Just remember, you can’t fix everyone. Don’t even try.

Libra

You’re a hurricane of creativity right now Libra, so don’t let it go to waste! Now is the perfect time to sign up for a local drink-and-draw class, or to bust out the ol’ adult coloring book and start coloring in those lines—or don’t color in the lines. I don’t want to stifle you. Just be sure to find a healthy outlet for your creativity so it doesn’t burst out in the form of increasingly creative new insults for your ex.

Scorpio

Connect with your inner Billie Eilish this week and let your freak flag fly, Scorpio! You’re not in the mood for anything mundane or “normal,” so it’s time to hit up your weirdest friend (you know, the one who moved to a cannabis commune and changed her name to ‘Star Fruit’) and embrace the odd! I’m not saying you have to go full Midsommar, but a little Halloween-in-August energy never hurt anybody.

Sagittarius

Goooooooooooals! You’re all about them this week, Sagittarius. Don’t be surprised if career advancements and opportunities find you. The stars are aligned for some major money moves this week, so keep an eye out for opportunities in unexpected places and get ready to shine. Even if you’re not feeling particularly motivated yourself, put on your best boss b*tch face and fake it ‘til you make it. You’ll be happy that you did.

Capricorn

Fun fact, Capricorn: in Greek mythology, Capricorn was represented by Pan, aka the “horny sea goat” of the zodiac. And you’re uh…embracing that ancestry this week. Yep. That’s right. It’s sexy time. The work that you put in to shake up your love life last week is coming (literally) to fruition this week, so maybe keep those nights open. Actually, you might wanna keep your mornings open too. Just saying…

Aquarius

Keep an eye out for romantic connections in unexpected places this week, Aquarius. Maybe it’s time for a recalibration of your standards? Not saying you need to start dating someone who still lives with their mom and thinks cargo shorts are fancy, but maybe you don’t have to swipe left on anyone under 6’7. There are plenty of 6’5-ers out there who are also deserving of love. (And you can always make them wear lifts if necessary).

Pisces

You’re another sign that’s feeling the urge to flirt this week, Pisces, and your best bet may be someone outside your typical type. Worse case scenario: you have a subpar hook up with someone you weren’t really sure you’d like that much anyway. Best case scenario: turns out your mailman was the love of your life all along. Who knew?!?!

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Welcome to Virgo season—do you have your day planner ready? Virgo is a sign that is known for very much having its sh*t together, meaning this month is the perfect time to clean up the (literal) hot mess that has been your summer. Harness some of that old back-to-school energy and get your life in order for fall. And yes, buying a new fall wardrobe totally counts as “harnessing back-to-school energy.” Your bank account might hate you, but whatever. You’re welcome.

Aries

You’re finally ready to get back on the wellness train, Aries, so you’d better get caught up on the latest Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast (shameless plug). As the balls-to-the-wall Leo Season energy starts to give way to significantly more responsible Virgo, you’re finding yourself with the motivation to actually make it to that 6am yoga class, or to stay through the stretching at SoulCycle. Beyoncé thighs, here you come!

Taurus

Looks like you’re the responsible one. Again. This week you may find lots of friends, coworkers, and random ass people at the bar are relying on you for very basic sh*t. Annoying, I know, but at least it goes to show that the world sees you as someone who actually has it together. If only they knew the truth…

Gemini

Cuffing season starts now, Gemini, as Virgo season has you looking to stop f*cking around and just settle down already. You’re over playing the field, and ready for some lay-around-in-bed-all-day-watching-Office-reruns type of love. Aka the best type of love there is. Go out there and find it!

Cancer

Virgo season has transformed you from a social caterpillar into a social butterfly this week, Cancer, so make sure to take advantage of it. No event is too far. No happy hour too stressful. For one week, you are 100% that bitch who stays out late on a Tuesday and somehow keeps the party going ’til Friday. Don’t waste this opportunity to go hard as f*ck before summer ends, and please preemptively stock up on Pedialyte for Sunday.

Leo

Hate to tell you this Leo, but your season is coming to a close. I know, I know, every season is Leo season when you’re a Leo, but it’s Virgo’s time to shine. Use this as an opportunity to chill tf out for a sec, and to relax and recharge after a whole month of non-stop limelight. Basically, use this as an excuse to book yourself a massage.

Virgo

Welcome to your season, Virgo! Starting this Wednesday, everybody is going to want a piece of that Virgo glow. As you know, being popular is v fun, but it’s also v exhausting, so be sure you’re not burning the candle at both ends trying to give the masses what they want. Your fans—I mean friends—will love you no matter what.

Libra

You might want to send out a preliminary “I’m sorry” text right now, because for the next week you’re going to be that person who can’t stop talking about their dreams. Sorry, but it is how it is. Virgo season is supercharging your dream realm, and it’s going to be hard to keep all the crazy sh*t your brain is feeding you every night straight. Maybe invest in a dream journal?

Scorpio

What is that strange feeling, Scorpio? Is it…? Could it be…? You being opent to trying new things!?!? I thought I’d never see the day! The new season has you looking for new horizons, and for the first time in a while you’re ready to shake up the routine. Try that weird underwater kickboxing thing you saw on ClassPass. Hit up a new bar. Swipe right on someone with a f*ckton of gym selfies…actually don’t do that last one. Too risky.

Sagittarius

Virgo season is making you want to get sh*t done in your love life, Sag, whether you’re single or not. If you are single, take a look at your standards. Are you setting the bar too low in certain places? Too high in others? Plenty of people have made an Andriod-iPhone relationship work. Just sayin’. If you’re in a relationship, now is a really good time to start working on something with your partner, whether it be a business venture, project around the house, or just some cute ass cupcakes you saw on Pinterest that will inevitably turn out terrifying when you try to make them.

Capricorn

You’re looking to shake things up in your love life, Capricorn, and per usual, the only person you can rely on is yourself. Try making a date outside your usual bars/restaurants, or plan a last-minute romantic vacation before you don’t have summer Fridays to keep you sane anymore. Nobody has ever regretted a last minute beach trip.

Aquarius

Virgo season has you ready to go deep, Aquarius, so don’t be surprised if you temporarily become that chick at the bar asking everyone what they think happens after you die. You’re just in a mood. Honor your inner philosopher this week by starting a new book, watching an interesting documentary, or just doing something for yourself that feels spiritual. It’ll help stop you from hitting a vape pen and asking everyone if they believe in the Matrix later.

Pisces

You’re feeling veeery coupley this week Pisces, so be aware of getting too clingy with your partner. Sending an “I miss you!” text is cute once per day, not once per hour. Try to make plans for some quality time later in the week, so you’ll get the attention you crave without breaking into anyone’s apartment.

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