Back in March, who could have predicted that basically nothing would change by the end of 2020? Okay, a few things have changed, but assuming you’re not one of the lucky few who have already gotten their hands on the vaccine, your ass is still glued to the couch, and you’re still f*cking bored. Luckily, the TV gods understand our need for constant stimulation, so there’s plenty of good stuff coming to a device near you in the next few weeks. Here are the most important new shows and seasons coming soon that you won’t want to miss.
‘Bridgerton’ – Netflix, 12/25
Back in 2017, Shonda Rhimes made history with a record-breaking deal to set up shop at Netflix. It’s taken a few years, but we’re finally getting our first Shondaland Netflix show, and Bridgerton looks like the exact kind of thing I want to binge in 1-2 sittings. Based on a series of novels set in 19th century England, this soapy drama centers on two young nobles who pretend to be in love, each with their own motives. With a diverse cast, gorgeous visuals, and Julie Andrews as the narrator, this is the event of the TV season.
‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’ – Netflix, 12/31
If you’re still watching Netflix’s Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, congratulations, you’ve made it to the end. The fourth and final part drops on New Year’s Eve, and as always, it looks creepy and thrilling. But the most exciting part, by far, is the news that the OG Aunt Hilda and Aunt Zelda from Sabrina The Teenage Witch will be making an appearance. Idk how this factors into the plot, but my sense of nostalgia is happy.
‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ – VH1, 1/1
The last time I was indoors at a bar was a viewing party for RuPaul’s Drag Race season 12, so the fact that we’re already getting a new season puts into perspective how long this year has felt. Season 13 features 13 new queens, and whether you’re a Drag Race super fan or have yet to watch an episode, trust me, you’ll love it. From the runway looks to the hilarious challenges to the SHAAAAADE that the queens throw at each other, Drag Race is the perfect competition show.
‘The Bachelor’ – ABC, 1/4
I don’t think The Bachelor needs much introduction around here, but I keep forgetting that Matt’s season premieres just two weeks after The Bachelorette wraps up. Filmed in a quarantine bubble in Pennsylvania, this season is sure to be (say it with me) the most dramatic season ever, and judging from the contestant bios, we might have more than one woman trying to secure the villain spot.
‘The Real Housewives of Dallas’ – Bravo, 1/5
I couldn’t talk about The Bachelor without also including a Bravo show, and the Dallas housewives are back in January for their fifth season. This season was filmed during the pandemic, so we’ll see how the ladies incorporate face masks and shields into their glam routines. Mainly, I’m curious to see how the cast fares in the aftermath of LeeAnne Locken’s problematic behavior and subsequent firing, because that sh*t was messy. Judging from the trailer, newcomer Dr. Tiffany Moon seems like a promising addition, and the ladies of Dallas are often underrated.
‘Dickinson’ – Apple TV+, 1/8
With so many streaming services available, a lot of people sleep on Apple TV+, but Dickinson, one of their breakout original shows, is already coming back for a second season. Hailee Steinfeld plays a young Emily Dickinson who’s struggling with the confines of her 1800s New England life. With modern music and dialogue, this show is super fun, and I found myself laughing out loud regularly during the first season.
‘Everyone Is Doing Great’ – Hulu, 1/13
James Lafferty and Stephen Colletti (aka Nathan and Chase from One Tree Hill) teamed up to create and star in this comedy about two actors who are trying to figure out wtf to do years after starring in a hit TV show about vampires. So One Tree Hill wasn’t about vampires, but I’m pretty sure this is low-key autobiographical. Also, yes, this is the same Stephen Colletti from Laguna Beach, which is reason enough to watch.
‘Search Party’ – HBO Max, 1/14
After moving to HBO Max last spring for its third season, Search Party is already back for season four. Going forward, I would appreciate if all of my favorite shows could start putting out new seasons every eight months or so. Dory, Drew, and the gang are still dealing with the aftermath of Keith’s death, and if you know anything about this show, things probably won’t go according to plan. Can’t wait!
‘WandaVision’ – Disney+, 1/15
When Disney+ launched, one of the main draws of the streaming service was the promise of new shows in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It took a while, but the first one is finally here, and WandaVision looks like it’s going to be a f*cking trip. Wanda and Vision, two of the more under-used characters from the MCU movies, are the perfect TV couple in this supernatural sitcom through the ages. Tbh, I have very little idea what this is actually about, but it’s going to be a big deal.
‘Servant’ – Apple TV+, 1/15
Along with Dickinson, Apple TV’s Servant is also returning for a second season next month. This psychological horror show is produced by horror icon M. Night Shyamalan, and it follows a family who hire a nanny for their child… who is actually a doll. Sh*t gets weird, obviously. Season one got solid reviews, and Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) is in this, which is reason enough to watch.
Images: Liam Daniel/Netflix; Netflix, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Bachelor Nation on ABC, Bravo, Apple TV, Hulu, HBO Max, Marvel / YouTube
You’ve probably heard a lot in the last few weeks and months about the escalating streaming wars, and it’s a lot to keep up with. In addition to the existing major players (Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon), other big companies are jumping into the streaming service game. HBO will launch its expanded HBO Max service next May, Disney+ arrives next week, and NBC also has its own service in the works. And last week, Apple jumped into the original content game with their new streaming service, Apple TV+.
It’s been a week since Apple TV+ launched, and I’ve had time to figure out how it works and what it has to offer, so let’s talk. I’ve gotten a lot of questions about what it is, how it works, and whether it’s any good. Keep reading for everything you need to know about Apple TV+.
How Does It Work?
First, let me address the biggest point of confusion here: Apple TV+ has nothing to do with the little Apple TV box that you hook up to your television. If you have one of those, great, but you can still subscribe to the new service without it. You can watch Apple TV+ on your computer, phone, Roku—whatever you’ve got, you can probably watch Apple TV+.
A membership will set you back $4.99 a month, so like, one coffee. You get one-week free trial, but don’t expect to just binge The Morning Show and cancel without ever getting charged. Most of the shows are being released one episode at a time, so you’ll have to pay for at least two months to get through a whole ten-episode season. Damn it. This is clever on Apple’s part, because they know that people will probably try to cancel this sh*t as soon as possible once they’ve seen the show they bought Apple TV+ to watch. Oh, and if you buy a new Apple device (including an iPhone), you get a year free, so like, score.
What Do You Get?
Before we talk about any of the original shows, there’s one major thing you need to know. Unlike the other major streaming services, Apple TV+ has no library of existing content, for now at least. So like, imagine Netflix, but without Friends, or The Good Place, or any of the existing shows and movies that you binge when you’re hibernating for the winter—it would be like if you paid for Netflix and only got the originals. Apple has invested hundreds of millions of dollars into producing original content, but because they’re not rolling out everything at once, this means that right now there are only a handful of shows on Apple TV+.
There’s no question that the marquee show on Apple’s new service is The Morning Show. Starring Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, and Steve Carell, this is like the Big Little Lies of Apple TV+, and they’ve thrown a lot of advertising behind it. Aside from that, there’s See, starring Jason Momoa, Dickinson, starring Hailee Steinfeld as a young Emily Dickinson, and For All Mankind, a period drama that imagines how the world would be different if the Soviet Union had landed on the moon first. There’s also an Oprah’s Book Club talk show, a documentary about an elephant, and a few shows for kids.
Are The Shows Good?
Okay, so I guess this is the big question. After all this hype, does the content deliver? And really, it’s kind of a mixed bag for now. I haven’t watched everything, but a week has given me enough time to get a feel for what Apple TV+ has to offer.
First, The Morning Show. After seeing the insane cast and the insane level of hype, I’ve gotta be honest, it’s a little bit of a letdown. The show isn’t bad by any means, but based on the cast and the production value, it’s not nearly as good as it should be. The main characters all give lots of spirited monologues about justice, and consequences, and power, but they tend to fall flat. Jennifer Aniston is great in a more dramatic role, but Reese Witherspoon’s tragic brunette wig and southern accent feel a little forced. The show is offering a commentary on the #MeToo movement, but after three episodes, I’m still not sure what it’s trying to say. The second and third episodes are better than the first one, so we’ll see if the season keeps improving.
Moving on, let me just say that I f*cking love Dickinson. It’s a historical comedy centered on Hailee Steinfeld as an angsty Emily Dickinson, whose parents don’t want her to be a poet. With modern dialogue, music, and humor, the tone of the show is fresh and hilarious, and I’m very into it. If you need some hints about the vibe, Wiz Khalifa makes a cameo in the first episode, and there’s a Lizzo song in episode two. Yeah, it’s fun.
I haven’t had a chance to check out Jason Momoa’s See yet, but with a 39% on Rotten Tomatoes, my expectations are staying low. I have, however, started watching For All Mankind, and the historical twist on the Space Race is an interesting concept that critics have really been liking. I’ve only seen one episode, but I’m definitely going to keep watching to see what happens in this alternate timeline.
Is It Worth It?
Look, Apple TV+ is brand new, and it’s definitely still a work in progress. Right now, the content offerings are pretty limited, and depending on what you’re into, you might not love any of these shows. But Apple knows this, and in addition to two more shows debuting in the next few weeks, they have over 20 titles currently in development. Building a network of content from the ground up is an ambitious project, so Apple is off to a pretty solid start.
To me, the biggest selling point of Apple TV+ is the low price point. Without the benefit of a large content library, Apple knows they can’t charge the same price as Hulu or Netflix, so they were smart to slide in just under $5 a month. I’m not going to pretend I’m great with money, and there’s approximately zero chance that I’ll notice this money coming out of my bank account every month. I should note that your account is automatically tied to your Apple ID, so it’s not really practical to share a membership with your roommates/ex/friend’s mom’s sister. Tragic, but at least it’s cheap.
I’m not going to say that Apple TV+ is perfect, but it’s really not bad, either. Even Netflix’s original offerings vary wildly in quality, so it’s not really fair to expect perfection from Apple. For the price, it’s probably worth signing up for, even if you only really want to watch The Morning Show. You can cancel any time if you’re not feeling it, and like I said, you probably won’t even notice that you’re paying for it. Personally, I’m going to keep my subscription, because let’s be honest, I don’t want to miss out on anything.
Images: Shutterstock.com; Giphy (3)
On Monday, Apple hosted a major event at its headquarters in California and made some major announcements about upcoming projects. The most exciting was the official reveal of Apple TV+, the new streaming service that is Apple’s direct competitor to Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon. They announced some enticing new shows, namely The Morning Show, a drama starring Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, and Steve Carell. It debuts this fall, and I’m basically already counting down the days.
But now that I’ve had a few hours to process my excitement about Reese Witherspoon, it’s time to talk about the other huge announcement Apple made on Monday: they’re making a credit card. I have questions, and so should you. It’s called Apple Card, and while Apple is claiming that Apple Card “completely rethinks everything about the credit card,” I’m juuuust a little skeptical. That’s because this all reminds me way too much of Billy McFarland and his legendary Magnises scam.
Someone at Apple must have watched the Fyre Festival documentary and was like, "THAT. MAKE THAT. THE COOL CREDIT CARD."
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) March 25, 2019
Let’s look at some of the features and benefits of the Apple Card, shall we?
On the website for Apple Card, the first thing Apple says is “A new kind of credit card. Created by Apple, not a bank.” Okay, so I’m not going to act like I’m the most financially literate person in the world, but is this supposed to be appealing? I already give Apple like half of my money, so why do I want them to have control of my credit card too? It’s not like banks are the good guy here, but is Apple any better?
Apple then says that the card represents “simplicity, transparency, and privacy,” which are all good words I guess. “It’s the first card that actually encourages you to pay less interest.” These sound like great things, but why does Apple want you to pay them less money? I don’t know about all this financial jargon, but I do know that banks make money off credit cards by charging interest (god, I hope I’m right). But the next line is what really got me:
“You can buy things effortlessly, with just your iPhone. Or use the Apple-designed titanium card anywhere in the world.”
A TITANIUM CARD. I bet it feels nice and hefty in your wallet, just like a Magnises card. People will be impressed by the clanking sound it makes when you slam it down on the counter. Here’s the card that is going to make everyone in the world think you’re a billionaire:
After running down the list of exciting features like Apple Cash (it’s basically just a regular rewards program) and great security (boring), Apple finally gets down to the nitty gritty of why there’s not technically a bank involved.
“Every credit card needs an issuing bank. To create Apple Card, we needed a partner that was up for the challenge of doing something bold and innovative. Enter Goldman Sachs. This is the first consumer credit card they’ve issued, so they were open to doing things in a whole new way.
Ah yes, let’s applaud the incredible bravery of Goldman Sachs, who dared to partner with Apple, the company with the world’s highest market value. They’re really stepping out of their comfort zone, so good for them. I’m not an expert on Goldman Sachs, but their Wikipedia page has a “Controversies and legal issues” section four times as long as this article, so I’m not fully convinced that this is some wonderful, groundbreaking partnership that’s totally safe for consumers.
So that’s a full run-down of what Apple’s website says about their new credit card, but this slide from their presentation yesterday is just asking to be memed.
Apple Card is the new Magnises. pic.twitter.com/rYqkONHqnA
— William Needham Finley IV (@WNFIV) March 25, 2019
No card number! No signature! A West Village townhouse! FREE tickets to the Met Gala!! Beyoncé will definitely perform at your birthday party!!! So far, Apple hasn’t made any promises about concert tickets that are literally impossible to get, but I’m sure that’s coming in Apple Card Series 2.
Apple Card is scheduled for release sometime this summer, and I can’t wait to see how many dumb rich millennials run out and get one on the first day. Lmk in the comments if you plan on getting an Apple Card, because in about three years I might be making a documentary about scams and need your contact info.
Images: Shutterstock; @parkermolloy, @wnfiv / Twitter; Apple
Friends fans, rejoice. At long last, Jennifer Aniston is heading back to TV, and her costar is none other than Reese Witherspoon, Elle Woods of our hearts and queen of business and Jennifer Aniston’s own younger sister on Friends. The show doesn’t have a name yet, but it’s a drama about morning television and the challenges women in that industry face. (Cue a bunch of old men groaning about how women don’t actually face challenges because a woman ran for president.) Not a ton of details yet, other than that it’s being produced by Apple. Yeah, that Apple.
Apple announced earlier this year that they’re hopping on the original content bandwagon behind Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu, so be prepared to steal your friend’s login for yet another streaming service. We weren’t sure how we felt about Apple trying to dominate yet another industry, but we’re really okay with Jen and Reese teaming up, so we won’t complain. Unclear if there will be any cameos from other Friends stars, but we’re not ashamed to say that we’re hoping for a little Ross, Rachel, and Jill moment. Yeah, we’re trash people stuck in the early 2000s.
The last time Reese Witherspoon was involved with a TV project, it was a little show called Big Little Lies that was literally incredible and won like, every award, so hopefully she can work her magic again. There’s no premiere date set for the show yet, but Apple has already committed to two full seasons, so there’s a lot to look forward to.