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I get the ick thinking about how much money people spend on wedding registries. No, actually, it’s not my dream for my Aunt to shell out $500 for a crystal pitcher I’ll never use or new towels will inevitably be stained with mascara and foundation. (Life hack, use black towels for makeup). But, when the chance to create a unique and affordable registry recommended by the literal food and wine expert on Queer Eye comes along, you fucking take it.
Yes, you heard me right, Antoni Porowski and his fiancé Kevin fully launched a wedding registry on Etsy. I would probably give my first born to be able to go back and create my registry again, simply because Antoni and Kevin really said, “this registry isn’t cookie cutter, even though there are custom cookie cutters.” Who better to give you advice than someone who does it for a living? Like, maybe I’ll just create a registry for my 30th birthday instead because the shit they’ve curated makes me fear for my wallet and space in my apartment.
Forget the crystal and oddly overpriced coolers, here are some of my faves from the collection that would 100% be on my registry.
An Elite Way To Get Your Caffeine Fix
I can’t function without caffeine, but I’ve yet to find a travel cup that feels as comforting as my morning mug and doesn’t make my coffee taste like a fucking penny. Until now, that is. The morning commute just got a hell of a lot more ~aesthetic~.
Shop it: Travel Cup, $46, Etsy.com
Save Time During Your Thank-You Note Era
This is me screaming from the rooftops telling every couple they need a return address stamp. The time and effort it will save you when during your thank you note era is priceless. This one is modern and unique.
Shop it: Modern Return Address Stamp, $26.10, Etsy.com
A Little Something For Your
No one tells you this, but the minute you get married you become a plant person. IDK what it is, but the minute I got home from my honeymoon, it just dawned on me that our family needed plants. You become a plant-parents, if you will. Might as well give it a chic home.
Shop it: Small Scalloped Planter, $28, Etsy.com
Not You’re Mother’s China
If you’re going to trust Antoni with any area of your home, it’s going to be in the kitchen. This pottery dinnerware is stunning and sturdy so you won’t be afraid to use it on a normal basis.
Shop it: 3-piece Handmade Pottery Dinnerware, $175.42, Etsy.co
Everyone’s Dream— More Counter Space
There’s nothing worse than having too many cooks in the kitchen, but like, what if one cook in the kitchen is too much? Enter: a stove top cover. I’ve never seen anything more genius and simple that gives you so much more space. Life changing.
Shop it: Ashland Stove Top Cover, $352, Etsy.com
The Only Kind Of Game Needed In A Relationship
I know you vowed to quit playing games once things became official, but like, how cute are these lawn dice? I think your relationship would probably actually benefit from these. I’m ~manifesting~ a fun night of entertaining in your future.
Shop it: Hand Crafted Oak Lawn Dice with Carrying Tray, $115, Etsy.com
Nothing Screams Wedding Like Something Engraved
This might be a hot take, but I’m not a fan of monograms. But this one is actually cute and not cringe like a lot of other wedding registry items out there. This cheese board is perfect for hosting or evenings at home binge watching Queer Eye with wine and cheese to keep you company.
Shop it: Personalized Engraved Cheese Board, $28, Etsy.com
Feature Image Credit: Dave Kotinsky / Stringer / Getty