Amanda Bynes Is Not Pregnant

The last few weeks have been a big time for celebrity baby news, and given that all the other news is about coronavirus or murder hornets, I’ll take it. We’ve had pregnancy announcements from Gigi Hadid, Lea Michele, Aaron Carter, Chris Pratt, and Ashlee Simpson, just to name a few, and I’m sure there will be more quarantine babies on the way. But who isn’t pregnant in quarantine? Amanda Bynes!

Back in March (yes, this was less than two months ago), Amanda shocked us all when she and her (ex?) fiancé Paul both posted a sonogram picture on Instagram. Amanda captioned her photo “Baby on board!”, so it was pretty clear that it was meant to be a pregnancy announcement. Or was it? Amanda quickly deleted the photo, so we were all left to wonder WTF was going on here. Was there, in fact, a baby on board?? That is, until this week, when Amanda’s attorney finally decided to clear things up.

In a statement given to Fox News (ew), her attorney David Esquibias said “Amanda is not pregnant and she is not residing in a sober living facility.” So uhh, no baby on board, and I guess that’s that on that. He didn’t offer any further explanation about the whole pregnancy thing, so I guess we may never really know what happened there. Esquibias also spoke to Entertainment Tonightsaying that Amanda “is sheltering in a safe location and is doing very well.” That’s good to hear, but I want to know why her attorney is suddenly going on a press tour. These past two months have been a whirlwind, and I feel like we had all basically forgotten about Amanda’s sonogram post, so why bring it up now? Also, is she still with her drop dead gorgeous fiancé Paul? Or is he completely out of the picture? Why can’t her attorney make statements about the things we actually care about?

The last time we heard from Amanda’s attorney was back in March, just a day after the alleged pregnancy announcement. At that time, he told Fox News that Amanda was “seeking treatment for ongoing mental health issues,” and that “Any reports that Amanda is suffering from drug or alcohol addiction issues are completely false.” While, at the time, he didn’t directly reference the pregnancy thing, he did ask for privacy for Amanda, and for “any speculation about her personal life from the public and the media to cease so Amanda can focus on getting better.”

The thing is, I feel like speculation about Amanda did kind of cease after this? Like, we talked about the weird, maybe fake pregnancy announcement for a few days, and then we all moved on? Maybe David Esquibias hasn’t noticed, but there’s been a loth happening in the world since mid-March, so Amanda Bynes’ non-pregnancy wasn’t the kind of story that hung around for weeks. I mean, the government literally confirmed the existence of UFOs last week, and none of us even cared! To be honest, I care more about Amanda Bynes than UFOs, but still, we’re living in a 10-minute news cycle.

Sadly, Amanda has been radio silent on Instagram since the sonogram picture, so her attorney’s statements are the only info we have on her current situation. I wish she would bless us with some quarantine content, but maybe she just needs a break from social media for a while. Either way, I would really like an update on her relationship with Paul, so if her attorney could address that in his next Fox News statement, I’d appreciate it.

Images: s_bukley /; amandabynesreal / Instagram

There Are Updates In Amanda Bynes’ Engagement And Conservatorship

If you’ve been following the life and times of Amanda Bynes over the past few weeks, you’ll know that it’s been a wild ride. It was less than a month ago when Amanda first shared that she was engaged on Instagram, and in that time, we’ve gotten to see our first glimpses of Paul Michael, her fiancé. We learned that she was a year sober, and so was Paul. She said her clothing line was coming soon. Sure, the face tattoos were still concerning, but things for Amanda seemed… good?

But then, over the weekend, reports surfaced that Amanda and Paul had called it quits, and reader, I was crestfallen. What could have happened so quickly? Amanda seemed so in love when she posted that video with the baby talk! All the videos were deleted, and things seemed grim.

Well, it looks like Amanda and Paul might not be done after all, because Amanda posted another selfie of them together. She captioned the photo “My love” with a black heart emoji, which certainly suggests they’re still together. So what’s the actual story? Were the breakup rumors false in the first place? Why did she delete all the photos and videos of them together? Maybe the whole relationship was a media ploy from the beginning—and if so, why? And WHY does Amanda keep getting face tattoos? So much to ponder.

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My love 🖤

A post shared by Amanda Bynes (@amandabynesreal) on

While I’m still desperate for answers about Amanda Bynes’ love life, the potential drama with Paul isn’t the only turmoil that’s happening in her personal life. Amanda is still under a conservatorship through her parents, which means that she doesn’t get to make a lot of her own life choices. Along with her parents, a judge is responsible for deciding what kind of treatment she’s receiving, and Amanda doesn’t really get a say in the matter. For the past few months, she’s been receiving treatment for her mental health issues at an outpatient facility, but things in the past week have gotten more grim.

According to a source from The Blast, Amanda had a secret hearing last Thursday, at which a judge ordered her to check in to an inpatient psychiatric facility for treatment. According to the source, Amanda’s parents were at the hearing along with Paul, and the breakup rumors surfaced just days later. I don’t pretend to know what all is going on with them, but I have a feeling these two might be connected. From the initial engagement announcement, sources were saying that Amanda’s parents weren’t going to let her marry Paul, so it seems like they might not be the biggest fans of the relationship.

At the hearing, Amanda apparently agreed to go to the facility, and she was ordered to check in over the weekend. Well, that didn’t happen. Even though she said she was down to go, she never actually showed up at the treatment center. Oh, Amanda… According to The Blast’s source, the family is now trying to figure out how to proceed from here, because things don’t seem to be going great at the moment.

While we don’t have all the details of Amanda’s situation right now, it’s not a huge surprise that she doesn’t want to go to the inpatient facility. In a recent Twitter video, she said that she wasn’t happy with her outpatient treatment situation, and that she wanted to transition to a more standard therapy situation, but this new decision is the total opposite of that. Maybe she isn’t in a position to make the best choices for herself, maybe she is, but either way, she doesn’t seem to be just going along with whatever the judge tells her to do.

So, where are we with Amanda Bynes right now? Honestly, everything seems very unclear. Hopefully she’s getting whatever treatment is best for her, and if she’s back with Paul, hopefully it’s a positive relationship. Who knows—maybe six months from now she’ll be married with a successful clothing line! I really just want the best for Amanda Bynes, whatever that looks like. We’re all rooting for you!

Images: amandabynesreal / Instagram

UPDATED: Amanda Bynes Ended Her Engagement

UPDATE: Well, how the turn tables have… On Sunday night, E! News broke the story that Amanda Bynes’ engagement to Pol has sadly ended after three weeks. I mean, who could have possibly seen this coming? I mean, everyone, but still, that happened fast. There aren’t many details about the split, but Amanda seemed to confirm the news when she deleted all the posts about Pol from her Instagram. (Thanks to the power of the internet, all the posts are preserved below!)

Now that Amanda is single again, what’s next? Theoretically her clothing line is still happening, so hopefully she’ll circle back with some updates on that soon. As for her personal life, she’s still under a conservatorship until at least this summer, and she’s doing outpatient treatment at a facility that she said costs $5200 a month. In another video, she said that she wants to switch to therapy that her insurance will cover, but the conservatorship doesn’t allow her to make that choice. Clearly, she has a lot to figure out right now, but hopefully things start looking up soon.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE: So far, 2020 has been a year full of surprises. Billie Eilish won all the GrammysThe Bachelor has *actually* had the most dramatic season ever, and I did my taxes two full months before they’re due. Surprising developments all around. But perhaps nothing has been more surprising than Amanda Bynes getting engaged. In the past week, we’ve slowly gotten more information about wtf is going on in her life, but we’re still left with more questions than answers.

On Valentine’s Day, Amanda shocked us all when she posted this photo, featuring a gigantic diamond ring and the caption “Engaged to the love of my life.” No less than five people DMed this photo to me asking for answers, and reader, I regret to tell you that I had no answers! By all accounts, there was no record of anyone that Amanda Bynes had dated recently, so the engagement truly did come out of nowhere. And really, for the first day or so, I wasn’t even convinced that the engagement was real. I don’t even know if I’m 100% convinced now! Idk, sh*t is weird.

After seeing this photo, I was thirsty for information, mainly about what man Amanda Bynes found that could afford a ring like that, and does he have a single brother? Luckily, Amanda didn’t make us wait too long to start getting a little more information, because she started posting videos on her Instagram, but there’s still much to be cleared up.

Who Is This Guy?

“I’m sorry to everyone whom I called ugly on Twitter” is my forever mood (h/t @CulbertsoMorgan)

Also I’m deeply worried about Amanda Bynes and her face tattoos.

— Maya Polon (@MayaPolon) February 28, 2020

After posting a few photos of her man this week, Amanda Bynes really blessed us on Thursday night, with a video introduction. No lie, I’ve watched this like, 40 times, and I have no regrets. It is ART. His name is Paul, but Amanda kind of pronounces it like “Pol,” which I love for her. Actually, I might just call him Pol from now on—it has more character. She says that he’s “drop dead gorgeous” (sure), and that they’ve both been sober for over a year. However erratic she can seem on social media, being sober for a year is a huge achievement, especially given the alarming reports a few months ago that she had fled her sober living facility.

We don’t know a lot about Pol (whose real name is Paul Michael), but an E! News source says that the two met in rehab, and have been dating for “two to three months.” I can’t say that sounds like a recipe for a life-long relationship, but I’m out here getting ghosted left and right, so what do I know?

Is That ANOTHER Face Tattoo?

I’m dismayed to report that, yes, it looks like Amanda Bynes has gotten a second face tattoo. I mean, why have one lopsided heart permanently inked on your face when you could have two? Unlike the first one, this second tattoo is smaller and completely filled in, which made me think it was a mole or something at first. But uh, it doesn’t really look like a mole, it looks like a tattoo. Ugh, Amanda, we were all rooting for you!! Pol, if you’re listening, please keep Amanda away from the tattoo shop.

Why Did She Call Me Ugly On Twitter?

Amanda Bynes is infamous for some wild tweets, and she feels bad about it, okay? In the video with Pol, she apologized “to everyone whom I called ugly on Twitter.” Someone please make a cross-stitch of that quote and mail it to me, thanks! She says that, at the time, she was feeling really ugly herself, and that she wasn’t able to express herself appropriately because she was “so drugged out.” I get it. I’ve watched eight seasons of Vanderpump Rulesso I’m very familiar with people rage texting when they’re f*cked up. It happens. Good for her for getting sober and apologizing for hurt she caused.

Wait, She’s Still Doing A Clothing Line?

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A post shared by Amanda Bynes (@amandabynesreal) on

Amanda’s Instagram this week has really been the gift that keeps on giving—she posted two videos yesterday alone! The first one got less attention because Pol wasn’t in it, but there was still some really important information. In this one, she thanks her followers and supporters, and then drops a hint about where her career is at right now. She says she’s out to dinner with her friend and FIDM advisor Kathy (hey Kathy!), and that she’s “really looking forward” to starting her clothing line, and that it should be available online “in the near future.”

This is exciting news, considering that we really haven’t heard much about her fashion plans since her PAPER Magazine interview in late 2018. She graduated from FIDM last year, but considering the drama with her conservatorship in the fall, I wasn’t sure if a fashion career was still in the cards. Honestly, if she needs some cash, she should just put Amanda Show quotes on T-shirts, because everyone I know would buy the hell out of those.

Is She Okay?

Look, I really hope so. It’s really encouraging to hear her say that she (and her fiancé) are sober, and hopefully she can keep it up. She does seem happy right now, which hasn’t always been the case. Yesterday, Entertainment Tonight reported that, according to a source, Amanda’s parents have yet to meet her fiancé, but it’s hard to know if that’s true. And even if it is, we don’t know if Amanda is on the best terms with her parents. At this point, there’s really no way to know how this will turn out, but I’m hoping for the best.

Hopefully Amanda Bynes stays sober and happy, and I’ll stay tuned for that clothing line. In the mean time, Amanda, please PLEASE don’t get any more face tattoos. It’s all I ask.

UPDATE: It’s our lucky day, because Amanda Bynes is back with two more videos! Things with Pol seem to be going great, so let’s unpack what we learned this time.

Do The Paparazzi Photoshop Her Pics?

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A post shared by Amanda Bynes (@amandabynesreal) on

Before we get back to talking about Pol, let’s discuss this first video that Amanda posted on Thursday. In this one, she talks about her frustration with paparazzi photos of herself. She says that in every paparazzi pic, she looks completely different, with “16 chins.” Relatable. She claims that paparazzi services are actually Photoshopping pictures of her to look uglier, which, idk. I believe that she believes that, but I’m just not sure that’s a thing. Like, I’ve seen myself in the security camera at Target, and trust me, it looks nothing like my selfies.

Okay, But What About Pol?

I’m baby Amanda Bynes

— Sarah (@edgeofyourseat) February 28, 2020

After her video about the paparazzi, Amanda went back to talking about her drop dead gorgeous fiancé, Pol, who sadly had to go back to Monterey. This is actually so funny, because she says she shouldn’t have divulged his location, so she won’t post the video, but uhhh, here we are watching it. Amanda, you’re so silly! She says that he does the cutest baby voice, and then she shows us her own baby voice, and really I’ve never been closer to ripping my hair out. I never knew that hearing Amanda Bynes say “you’re so sexy I love you” with a lisp would be so triggering, but here we are. Hopefully Pol comes back from Monterey soon, because I feel like Amanda needs someone to hang out with.

Images: amandabynesreal / Instagram