Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Groom Demands Bride Buy $100 Dress

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Mazel and welcome to another edition of crazy wedding stories, brought to you by Reddit, our ongoing source of anonymous entertainment and shaming as it relates to matrimony. Today’s story comes to us from the always enthralling Reddit Am I The Asshole (AITA) subreddit, where clueless folks post long-winded tales and ask an audience of casual Reddit readers if their actions are defensible or deplorable. AITA has brought us grooms who want to wear jeans to their wedding, kick their sister out for not allowing kids to come at the last minute, and many more tales of wedding assholery.

This week, a man explains to us why he just doesn’t understand why his fianceé can’t find a wedding dress for $50-100. Why are men like this?

WTF Happened

The thread, titled “AITA i (38 m) for telling my fiancee (f 27) her wedding dress choice is way too extravagant and suggesting alternatives?” already raises a few red flags for me, as the groom in question is 11 years older than the bride-to-be (come at me all you want, but I read a lot of relationship advice subreddits, and often times when someone acts like a controlling asshole, there’s a big age gap involved) and trying to mansplain why a wedding dress is extravagant. Ugh, you douche. That aside, let’s dive in.

The groom writes:

“We are getting married in July of this year, the venue is booked and the wedding is pretty much sorted.

Emma has been researching dresses and has a little scrap book of lots of dresses she likes for ideas but is now looking to buy.

All that’s left to get is the bridesmaid dresses and her wedding dress.

We jointly put aside 10k each for the wedding, everything is paid and we have 6k left over, which I think could go towards the honeymoon on top of the honeymoon fund we already had.

We aren’t the extravagant type at all, then comes the time for Emma to pick her dress. I know everything is more expensive when it has the term wedding attached to it. What I wasn’t expecting was a $950 dress plus $120 veil!

I’m using my dad’s old tux he used for his wedding to my mom, just had it taken in a little, Emma can’t use her mum’s dress as her and her mum both say the style hasn’t aged well, which is fair.

First off, I consider myself hashtag BLESSED to have a husband that can f*cking spell and understands proper grammar (I tried to correct the most egregious errors, but I didn’t feel like rewriting this guy’s entire post). That aside, the fact that this groom thinks $950 for a dress is expensive is laughable. I don’t recall even SEEING anything in that price range when I was wedding dress shopping, and I’m a f*cking bargain hunter. That’s great that groomzilla wants to wear his dad’s old-ass tux. I’m sure it isn’t dusty and I’m sure it doesn’t smell like 30-year-old sweat and cheap booze. Oh, and jazz snaps for acknowledging that the mother’s dress probably hasn’t aged well. So far, this is eye-roll-worthy at best, but it gets so much worse.

Yeah, It Gets So Much Worse

I had a quick google around at dresses online and there were so many! And so many just like the one Emma wants for like $50 to $100.

I’m not trying to get her to cheap out on her dress but she will literally wear it once, one dress for over $1,000 is just insane that would fund our honeymoon.

I tried to show her some dresses I found on a recommended app called Wish and but she was having none of it.

She is very slender but apparantly wants it specially fitted?

It turned nasty unfortunately because I said I refuse to drop such a large amount of money on a dress and she argued that she is using her own money for the dress.

Wich isn’t strictly true as we ate about to marry and our finances will be joined.

Then her mom had to get involved, they offered to pay for the dress but it’s not a case of not being able to afford it.

It’s a dress! there are identical ones online at a fraction of the cost.

I thought she would be ecstatic to learn there are identical dresses for a fraction of the cost but she was really angry and upset.

Hey, at least this guy knows how to Google, amirite? How commendable. Too bad he apparently doesn’t understand that you get what you pay for, and a cheap dress off some random site is probably not going to look like the picture. Additionally, for the groom to comment on his wife-to-be wanting her dress “fitted” is laughable. Has this jackass never seen Say Yes To The Dress, been to a single wedding, or ever just lived in a society? Of course the dress will be f*cking fitted! This isn’t some 8th grade dance dress she can buy off the rack at JC Penney. This is her wedding day and, short of the day she possibly has a kid or graduates with a Master’s or adopts six dogs, it’s pretty f*cking memorable and important.

The kicker, for me anyway, is that the bride is offering to use her own cash or her parent’s cash, and this guy is still clinging to his principles related to what he thinks the dress should cost. I don’t care how many “identical” dresses you found on Google that are likely created by tiny child slave hands for a fraction of the price. Let the woman get her f*cking dress. It has NOTHING to do with you and it isn’t your call, dude. I feel like the only reason this guy is so opposed to spending $1,000 of money that isn’t even his money yet, is because unlike the honeymoon, the dress doesn’t involve him and he doesn’t get to enjoy it.

Call Off That Wedding

AITA here? Is there something I am seriously missing because after we argued about the dress, Emma has been extremely cold towards me.

Then yesterday she said if I want her to cheap out on her wedding dress on her wedding day that she needs to really consider if we are a good match for marriage.

I’m blown away that she would say that over a dress, I told her she’s like a toddler throwing a tantrum over a sparkly toy she can’t have, that was a mistake as she left to stay with her parent’s, who called to tell me I am much more than an asshole.

Anddd see what I mean about the age gap thing? The only toddler throwing a tantrum here is this guy who realized he may not be able to control his fiancée without pushback for the rest of their lives. So sad for him.

Don’t worry, Reddit promptly called him the asshole. The top comment by Redditor milee30 read, “YTA. You say you don’t want her to cheap out, but then you say you want her to buy a $50 -$100 wedding dress. That’s cheap. That’s cheap even for a regular dress. Those cheap dresses you’re finding online will look terrible in person and are the source of so many disappointed women and jokes. Wedding dresses and their tailoring are expensive. $1,000 is actually a low priced dress. Regardless of dress type, though, your reaction to her—calling her names and deciding you have veto power—is the real problem. You should be solving this issue together. If you can’t, maybe it’s not time to get married yet.”

And this story gets better, because OP posted an update.

EDIT: Emma found this thread, it was a mistake to post here and I’m sorry I posted our problems on reddit, iata

Yes, buddy, you are, in fact, the asshole here—but you’re an asshole because you’re controlling and have totally unrealistic expectations, and you’re trying to bully your fiancée into fitting those unrealistic expectations… not because you posted your relationship problems on Reddit. I hope this guy ends up at the altar alone for being such an absolute d*ck.

For Emma’s sake, I hope she called off the wedding. This guy sounds like red flag city, and if he’s going to bully her into cheaping out on a sh*tty wedding dress, who knows what other kind of stunts he’ll pull in the future (why would we buy a house when we can get this $2,000 shoebox in a crappy area that barely fits our bed?). Emma, if you’re reading this, blink twice if you need help.

Images: Charisse Kenion, Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Groomzilla Won’t Dress Up For His Own Wedding

Whether you hate the wedding-industrial complex, are a bride planning a wedding and want to feel better about your own demands, or just need something to read, we’re doing a new series where we share the craziest, most out-of-touch wedding story we found on the internet that week. Submit your own crazy wedding stories to [email protected] with the subject line Crazy Wedding Story, and we just might feature yours. And make sure to follow @BetchesBrides on Instagram and subscribe to our podcast, Betches Brides.

Once again, we prove two things thanks to internet stories. First, weddings make everyone lose all sense of proper decorum (if they ever had it to begin with, I guess, is up for debate). That’s why we continue to post these week after week. Second, which is not relevant to all crazy wedding stories, but certainly this one: The bar for men is literally buried roughly six to 20 feet below ground. It’s stories like these that make me thankful I’m married to a guy who is willing to make compromises and sacrifices, which is more than the groom in this Reddit story is willing to do. But, wait, isn’t that the whole point of marriage? That and the tax breaks. My husband also wore a suit to our wedding, which again, seems like the baseline standard, but is apparently too much for this Reddit groom. But enough from me—read the story for yourself.

The Set-Up

Reddit’s AITA (Am I The Asshole) forum proves, once again, that it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Today’s story is written by a groomzilla who insists he be wearing the most comfy clothes on his f*cking wedding day. Never mind that this is supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime event (or maybe not, given his attitude so far), that his bride-to-be seems to have some goddamn standards, or that you can’t put a price on class. He writes:

“Groom here. My fiancee and I are getting married in about a year. She’s already started shopping for her wedding dress and asked me to start taking a look at suits. Honestly, though, I’m really not much of a suit and tie kind of guy, and I dress extremely casually in my day-to-day life. Obviously, I’m going to make a point to look sharper than usual for the wedding. I’m planning to wear my favorite pair of jeans with a blazer and a decent button-up shirt, which should be comfortable while still looking nice.”

Awwww you poor thing! You aren’t much of a suit guy, huh? You, uh, can’t make an exception on your wedding day? Life sounds rough, bro! I wish we had a picture of this guy so I can settle in my mind whether he’s a douchey hipster with a man bun, a redneck that owns a small collection of Confederate paraphernalia, or a former member of TKE who owns a Crossfit gym and works the word “bro” into 90% of conversations.

Oh wait—he’s got a solution! He’s going to make A POINT to “look sharper than usual”! What a gem this guy is! And how, pray tell, does he plan to up his usual, I assume, Walmart sweatsuit look for the day he weds the love of his life? With his “favorite pair of jeans with a blazer and a decent button-up shirt”! Wow! Omg! This girl is LUCKY! I wonder how many dates she went on before she met him? What a solid 10. I would give my left tit to shake his hand.

Fight Me

Mr. Personality goes on with his sob story about how he should get to wear whatever he wants without people judging him. It’s like women fighting for the right to wear cute sh*t without being cat-called, basically. I can smell his incredible activist spirit. This guy’s a true pioneer for men’s rights.

“My fiancee got really upset when I said I wasn’t going to wear a suit. She thinks jeans are way too casual for a wedding and says I’m going to look ridiculous and underdressed. But I don’t think that’s true. It’s not like I’m showing up in overalls and no shirt or something dumb like that, and I was a groomsman in a wedding just last year where all the guys wore jeans and suspenders.

I would never in a million years tell my fiancee what to wear to our wedding, because that would be insanely controlling, so I don’t think she should get a say in what I wear. AITA?

Edit: The wedding is in the woods at a forest preserve, if that makes a difference.”

There’s a lot to f*cking unpack here. Let’s go backwards: the wedding is in a forest preserve, as if that makes a difference. I’m pretty sure you should still wear something a bit more upscale than jeans to your WEDDING. Additionally, did you really bring in the whole “it’s controlling for my fiancee to tell me what to wear” argument? This is not the same thing as you telling her she can’t wear a low-cut top to go out with her friends because you don’t want guys checking out her cleavage. Plus, how f*cking stupid are you going to look standing next to a woman in a $2k dress while you’re in your “favorite” jeans?

My favorite argument point though, by far, is the “it’s not like I’m showing up in overalls and no shirt.” I’m sorry, but what? Neither jeans and a “decent button-up” nor “overalls and no shirt” are acceptable attire for a wedding. This brings me back to my “what kind of guy is he” question and, I think, clearly, the answer is option B, a redneck with Confederate paraphernalia. It’s the only way I can explain being a part of a wedding where gentlemen would ever consider wearing overalls on purpose.

Is He The Asshole?

Reddit and I have spoken and, yes, this guy is a f*cking asshole. Go ahead and @ me in the comments about men’s rights. There’s absolutely no reason this f*cker can’t dress up and throw his fiancée a bone for one day. Congratulations on your now-permanent position in every Facebook wedding shaming group of all time, Groomzilla. You’re arguing about wearing an outfit not acceptable to a job interview to your effing wedding. Give me a break.

My favorite comment, by far, on this thread comes from someone with the unfortunate handle of DefetiveCuckachoo:

There are two of you in this relationship. That means you need to learn to work together on common goals, and lift each other up, if you want to jealously assert freedoms and rights and boundaries then you aren’t partners, you are hostile neighbours at best.

Your fiance has normal expectations for your wedding day, and you are basically putting your feet up, rolling a blunt, blowing a cloud of smoke in her face, laughing about it and saying “IDGAF babe!” YTA.

PREAAAAAAAAACH. My only comment is that, hey, don’t bring the jazz cabbage into this.

Images: Waldemar Brandt, Unsplash; Giphy (3)

Crazy Wedding Story Of The Week: Say No To Sunrise Weddings

Your wedding day is pretty much all about you (and like, a little about the person you’re marrying). However, there are a lot of factors that’ll determine the day you end up having. The biggest one, for most people, is your guests. People have to travel. People have to eat and drink. And people need to be told when, where, and what outfit to show off. In fact, pretty much all of your wedding day planning decisions are going to land somewhere in the middle of what you want and what makes sense for your guests.

Our psycho bride today appeared on Reddit and is not adhering to these unspoken rules. Not only is she not adhering, but her idea of a dream wedding is f*cking insane.

Setting The Scene

This absolutely f*cking bonkers story was discovered in, where else, the Am I The Asshole subreddit. It’s really just the gift that keeps on giving.  This thread is a real doozy. Let me be the first (well, not the first—there are quite a few commenters who share my feelings) to say yes, these people are 100% assholes. Let’s explore why:

“Every year on our anniversary, my fiance and I wake up early to go to the beach and watch the sunrise together. It’s a very special tradition, as we have both overcome a number of personal challenges during our time together, and the symbolism of watching a new day begin is deeply meaningful for us.”

Aww, that’s v nice fam. Good for you, jazz snaps all around.

“We decided we wanted to incorporate this into our wedding. Our plan is to have our ceremony on the beach and have everyone walk over to a beachfront restaurant for breakfast, bloody Marys and mimosas (we’ve already talked to the restaurant owner about this, who loves the idea and said he’d be happy to open early for us). After that, everyone is free for the remainder of the day. Our friends and family are mostly local and should all be able to travel to the beach in under an hour, except for some extended family flying in from Canada, but that’s unavoidable.”

LOL WUT. Wait, like, are you honestly, HONESTLY expecting me, your beloved mother/aunty/future MIL/bridesmaid to wake the f*ck up WHILE IT’S DARK OUTSIDE and on a F*CKING WEEKEND to watch you guys get married at the ACTUAL asscrack of dawn? And then to partake in the worst kind of wedding of all—a breakfast wedding?! I must be misinterpreting this, right?

The Nitty Gritty

“Based on our geographic location and the date of the wedding next summer, we’ve scheduled the ceremony start time for 5:30 a.m., when there should be plenty of light but the sun itself won’t be quite visible yet.”

NOPE. It’s a hard nope from me, dawg. So, if the ceremony is starting at 5:30am, that means the bride and her posse are going to have to be awake for hair and makeup at what time? 2:30? That doesn’t sound fun. That doesn’t sound like a super fetch time. In fact, that sounds like f*cking torture. And don’t tell me you and the girls can just pull an all-nighter. As someone who has had to do the wedding day thing exactly once, I will tell you that a good night’s sleep is absolutely imperative to having a non-terrible day.

Also, if, like the Reddit post said, the majority of guests live an hour away, that means they need to prepare to arrive around 5-5:15am, forcing them to leave their homes around 4am, which makes wake-up time around 2:30-3am, depending how long it takes these people to get ready and chug some coffee before they drive bleary-eyed in the dark. This sounds unsafe and downright rude.

How’s Everyone Feeling?

“We’ve been getting a LOT of backlash from our families about this, who say this is way too early and we need to move the ceremony to a more ‘normal’ time of day. But my fiance and I don’t feel like we’re asking for anything that unreasonable. AITA?”

OMG, you’ve been getting backlash? Are you f*cking surprised?! You’re asking people to travel in the day before or earlier in order to wake up at 3am, then be totally dead for the rest of the day. Do you honestly expect ANYONE to start drinking at 6am? What am I, in college? I’m an adult! Maybe not a high-functioning adult, but an adult nonetheless!

The options for your guests are either to pull an all-nighter and be completely useless the next day, forcing them to stay overnight in a hotel to sleep it off, or drive home after the drunk wears off around noon and crawl into bed. Like, what planet am I on?

Why not incorporate the sunrise into the end of the reception? Like, have a late ceremony at sunset, which would be symbolic AF, dance and drink all night, then encourage all of your guests to stay up for the sunrise grand finale. Wow, I should be a f*cking wedding planner.

Obviously, this Reddit poster has officially been labeled an asshole and comments have been closed. Here’s to hoping the bride and groom change their mind and do something more normal, unless they plan on giving everyone a LOT of really good drugs to stay awake for 24 hours.

Images: Derek Thomson / Unsplash; Giphy (3)