Over the last few weeks, I’ve been tracking macros on MyFitnessPal. Initially, I was doing it to try and get back on Keto. (By “back on,” I mean I did it for two weeks before a vacation once.) Unsurprisingly, I bailed on Keto (nothing is low-carb enough!!!). and I then decided my #newyearnewme would be about counting macros instead. I’m currently using this calculator, which I found via this highly reliable fitness Instagram. I’m not even being sarcastic—there’s very good advice on there. My biggest challenge with macros so far has definitely been keeping my fat content in check. Within a week, I realized I knew way less about which foods are high fat than I thought. For example, I had a day of what I considered very healthy eating (salads! oats! grain bowls!), and then discovered my diet had been 60% fat. And this is why I have trust issues. So, I did some research into which of my “healthy” choices were causing that high fat content. I’m not talking about obvious fats—you should all know that baked goods are full of bad fats and avocados are full of good fats. These are the sources of fat you’re not as likely to guess as, say, a fried chicken sandwich or a BLT with mayo.
Disclaimer: Everyone’s dietary needs are different, and many diets may call for higher fat content. I am not advocating for a universal low-fat diet, so do not come for me. Rather, I am hoping this information may be illuminating to some of you (read: I don’t want to be the only one who didn’t already know all this).
Falafel
I’ll be honest, I’ve never really known a lot about the nutrition content of falafel. It felt like a kind of dietary gray zone. Not as healthy as a vegetable, but probably better than cheese. Right? Not really. While trying to design a low-fat grain bowl at Tender Greens, I was pretty shocked to see that the steak topping was lower in fat than the falafel option. While falafel can be a healthy dish (the ingredients themselves are nutrient-rich), I’d somehow forgotten that it’s typically deep-fried. This adds, in scientific terms, a sh*t ton of fat to your meal. FWIW, the “baked falafel” option at Tender Greens was way healthier—but unless a menu specifies “baked,” you should assume it’s deep fried, and therefore higher in fat.
Tofu
Tofu is a similar deal to falafel—it’s all about how it’s prepared. While tofu isn’t deep-fried quite as often as falafel (though still more often than you’d think), it’s really good at soaking up whatever it’s cooked in. And given that tofu on its own has just about zero flavor (it’s okay, we can all admit that), it’s usually cooked in a bunch of oils, sauces, etc. So tofu on its own? Low-fat, healthy option. But the way it’s usually prepared in restaurants can make it a higher-fat option than something like chicken.
Nuts
Okay, this one errs more on the side of “foods we knew were high in fat.” But take a minute and actually consider how many “healthy options” feature nuts as a key ingredient. Protein bars that pride themselves on not adding sugar? Full of nuts. Overnight oats? Probably filled with nut butter (or WTF are you doing). Even a lot of salads and bowls will add nuts as a topping, plus, almonds are constantly touted as the ideal mid-afternoon snack. We also all know the problem with nuts—they are impossible to portion for how calorie-dense and fat-dense they are. And anyone who says they’re full after 6 almonds is a dirty liar.
So, while nuts are full of technically good fats, it’s still super easy to go over on your fat content goals if all the healthy options you’re choosing are nut-heavy. So if my breakfast included 2 tbsp of almond butter (18 grams of fat and it never feels like enough), maybe I don’t also have have a nut-based Lara Bar at 4pm (9 grams of fat), and snack on nuts at 6pm (19 grams of fat). That brings my fat content from nuts alone (not even the fun fats, like sauces and cheese and sugar) to 46 grams, when my daily goal is 48. (Let it be known that my total fat content for that day wound up being 90+ grams. This sh*t is hard!!!)
Olive Oil/Butter
I know! I said this list would be about non-obvious sources of fat. Yet here I am basically listing the liquid form of fat and saying “surprise! This is fat.” Sue me, but also listen because this is probably the #1 thing that people forget to count in their diets. One tablespoon of olive oil has 14 grams of fat. One tablespoon of butter has 12 grams of fat. (The type of fat they offer is different. Here is a long article on different fats and how they affect you.) Even at home, I struggle to cook something edible using less than 2 tbsp of one of these. It can be super tempting to just log the one chicken breast you cooked in there, but unless you’re using a cooking spray, you have to account for the fats it absorbed.
Well, that’s the end of my tirade on fat, and now I never want to look at a nutrition label again! Remember, the worst thing you can do with your diet is eat in a way that makes you miserable, because you know that sh*t won’t last. My fat content is still way too high most days, but I’m figuring out what a low-fat day I can live with looks like. At least it’s not Keto!
I don’t know about you, but I literally always feel the need to reward myself with at least 36 burritos and 75 margaritas after a good, hard workout. Unfortunately, I have to force myself not to be the fat f*ck I truly am at heart, because I don’t want to reverse all of the time and energy I just put in at the gym. Instead, I save my money and keep my waistline at bay by fixing up some healthy post-workout snacks at home.
Here are four healthy post-workout snacks for when you’re super hungry after exercising but don’t want to eat anything that makes you feel heavy like you didn’t just bust your ass at the gym.
1. Avocado Toast
Avocados are the f*cking best, especially when they’re slapped on top of some carbs. My favorite avocado toast recipe is super simple to make. All you need to do is mash up half of an organic avocado, spread it on a slice of toasted 10-grain bread, then top it with red pepper flakes, sesame seeds, hemp seeds, turmeric powder, Himalayan pink sea salt, and fresh lime juice. Top it however you want to, but this is my number one go-to snack to eat after a killer class.
2. Protein Shake
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking… protein shakes are trash. Sure, some of them are gross, but they can actually be pretty damn good and nutritional if you use the right ingredients and protein powder. Mix an all-natural plant-based protein powder in vanilla or chocolate with fruits and veggies that complement the powder flavor you choose. I personally use less water in mine because I think thicker shakes are way more filling than loose, watered-down shakes, but you do you, boo.
3. Bananas With Peanut Or Almond Butter
Bananas are high in electrolytes, low in calories, and extremely delicious, making them a kick-ass post-workout snack. Just cut a banana in half and dress each side with 1-2 tablespoons of peanut or almond butter, which serves as the missing protein and healthy fat components that will replenish your body after sweating to death. If you’re feeling fancy, throw some granola on that b*tch.
Pro tip: Coat the banana with the nut butter of your choice and a dark chocolate drizzle, then throw it in the freezer before you head out to exercise. You’ll come home to a cold, ready-to-eat treat that feels like a magical dessert in your mouth.
4. Açai Bowl With Nut Butter
I didn’t realize how nasty the phrase “nut butter” sounded until I just wrote it. Anyway, açai bowls are said to be the perfect thing to eat after working out for many reasons. Although they’re high in natural sugar, because they’re full of fruit (duh), açai bowls are literally super-food bowls packed with antioxidants that boost your energy level. Depending on which type of nut you like best, top your bowl with some butter, and enjoy.
After eating any of these post-workout snacks, you should feel full enough to push back your taco and margarita cravings until cheat day. If you’re still hungry, make another serving of your healthy snack option or just say “f*ck it” and go reward yourself at your local Mexican restaurant. At least you worked out today. You can always try again tomorrow.
We’ve already established that you can now drink yourself pretty, but what’s better than incorporating drinking into your beauty regimen? Food. Food is always better. Like, sure, blacking out off vodka sodas is fun and all, but if I could take those calories and use them towards eating my weight in cheese without becoming the “before” girl in a commercial for Nutrisystem, best believe I would. So yeah, now that we’ve established that food is objectively the best thing ever, it’s time to talk about how you can consume unlimited amounts of (certain) foods and not only not turn into a hideous troll creature, but actually look even prettier than you do now. I can understand why you don’t believe me—it goes against basically everything we’ve ever been taught—but this is literally real. We’ve rounded up the best foods that are good for your hair, skin, abs, and just overall attractiveness WITHOUT sending your waistline into a death spiral. And it’s here just in time for you to drink excessively and ruin your diet by drunk eating pizza. Yas. So let’s see which secret beauty boosting foods are basic and which ones are betchy. Here’s a list of the betchiest beauty foods ranked:
8. Flaxseed
This seems like something Kourtney Kardashian would feed her children for “dessert.” Is this why Reign always looks like he wants to set someone on fire?
Seriously, someone get this kid a Capri Sun.
It’s recommended that you ground the seeds up into a “meal” for a better taste, but I’m still skeptical about calling shit you’d find on a bird feeder a meal. Aside from looking fucking miserable to eat, the omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids in flaxseed actually can help fix skin conditions like acne or eczema. But all the flawless skin in the world isn’t going to take this food out of last place for the reason that when I want to eat like a small bird, I’m talking about the quantity of food I’m eating and not the actual food itself.
7. Greek Yogurt
Is it just me or does a part of you die inside every time you eat Greek yogurt because you’re wishing it was actually frozen yogurt? Just me? K. Fine, if I have to eat this tasteless paste at least it’s packed with enough calcium and protein to keep my teeth looking gorgeous. Yogurt also contains natural live active cultures or “good” bacteria (sorry, I just vomited in my mouth for a minute) that aid in digestion and keep your stomach flat. Blessings.
6. Almond Butter
It has the word butter in it, which makes me want to root for it but it’s not actual butter or even peanut butter so now I’m just disappointed. It does have vitamin E, manganese, and selenium in it, which helps keep your hair shiny so it has that going for it. What puts it as #6 on the list is that health weirdos everywhere are rubbing this shit all over their bodies as some sort of DIY beauty serum. Jesus Christ, I hate people. Body hair and butter should never mix and for that, coupled with the fact that this shit costs like $11 a jar, Almond Butter gets the sixth spot.
5. Sweet Potato Fries
Okay, finally, something I actually want to put in my mouth. Full disclosure here, I may have added on the fries part to the end of this one, BUT sweet potatoes are hella good for you and promote glowing, gorgeous skin thanks to all the beta-carotene in them. They also have a shit ton of vitamins A, C, and E in them, which can help improve the look of your hair and skin. Mr. Potato would have been higher on the list had this beauty food actually been in fry form, but I guess you can’t win ’em all.
4. Berries
Aside from looking chic AF in your champagne glass, berries are loaded with anti-inflammatory agents and vitamins that help protect your skin from showing signs of premature aging. They’re also packed with vitamin C, which helps produce skin that’s firm and strong. Basically berries are natural botox for your skin and I AM ABOUT IT.
3. Kale
Other than being betchy as hell, Kale is actually one of the most nutrient-dense superfoods and one cup of it can literally fix your whole life (i.e. give you gorgeous hair, strong bones, and awesome teeth). Kale can definitely sit was us.
2. Dark Chocolate
About fucking time. This is something that’s already incorporated in my daily diet because #FitLife. Chocolate contains anti-aging antioxidants, which fight free radicals to protect your skin from UV damage and help prevent the appearance of wrinkles, fine lines, and skin discolorations. Plus it tastes like a dream and may or may not curb all of my homicidal tendencies.
1. Avocados
Avocados are the betchiest beauty food for sure. Not only are they the most Insta-worthy vegetable fruit (WTF seriously?), but avocados are also super fucking good for you. All of those monounsaturated fatty acids will make your hair look better than a Garnier Fructis commercial. Plus I love anything that brands itself as the “good kind of fat.” Better get these while you can, girls, they’re about to cost more than your senior year spring break trip to Cabo—because aside from ruining our lives, President Cheeto also wants us to look ugly. Ugh.
