So you might have been aware (because of the memes) that over the weekend, a bunch of people made a big production about going to Area 51 to break out the aliens. If you’re like me, you’re probably asking yourself, “what the actual f*ck is everyone going on about?”. (Things I say to myself most time a new internet trend emerges, tbh.) But don’t worry, I’m here to break down everything that popped off over the weekend, so you don’t have to sort through a bunch of Twitter threads. Here’s what’s going on with Area 51.
What The F*ck Is Area 51?
Fucking hilarious to me that the Area 51 meme has gotten to a point where without a doubt there has been a military meeting somewhere with some very high ranking officials sitting down and going…. “Okay but seriously what are we going to do about this?” pic.twitter.com/v3aQGHyRjh
— H҉o҉v҉a҉ ? (@JahovasWitniss) July 15, 2019
If you didn’t already know, Area 51 is The United States Air Force base in the desert of Nevada. Allegedly, it contains top secret information on extraterrestrial phenomena, and people believe there could be UFOs, aliens, and remains of such. Basically it sounds like the plot of Stranger Things. The base was featured in the 1996 film Independence Day as an alien testing laboratory, but the government rejects any sort of extraterrestrial activities. But still, there are people who believe the government is lying to us and there really are aliens at Area 51—just like there are people who believe we didn’t land on the moon.
What’s Up With The Facebook Group?
Upwards of 600,000 people have joined the event “Storm Area 51, they can’t stop all of us” which joins people together to invade the air force base on September 20th in hopes of seeing any sort of extraterrestrial paraphernalia. Over 600,000 people? That’s more followers than many influencers have on Instagram. That’s a lot of f*cking people. The event description says, “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry” and that “If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.” A little more intense than your typical birthday celebration Facebook event description, wouldn’t you say? “Naruto run” is based on the Japanese manga character, Naruto Uzumaki, who runs with his head down and and arms arms stretched out behind. Kind of like how that one weird kid from your high school would run through the halls. I imagine this event would play out like a walk of shame, except you’re not hungover in your clothes from the night before, and instead of avoiding anyone you know, you’re avoiding the government. But really, the first clue that this event is not serious is the sentence that claims people can outrun bullets just be emanating a manga character. But as we know, people on the internet are f*cking idiots and this event is being taken seriously. Which brings me to my next point…
The Government Is Always Watching
The government ready and waiting for everyone storming Area 51 pic.twitter.com/U98wrutx7X
— notanothertruecrimepod (@NATCpod) July 15, 2019
Apparently this event was a joke, but we all know there’s a little truth behind every “JK”, and consequently, the government has gotten involved. Air Force spokesperson Laura McAndrews said, “ is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces.” They would discourage it? That’s like my best friend telling me that she discourages me from drunk texting my ex. Am I gonna do it anyway? Yes. Does her telling me not to do it only make me that much more determined to disregard her advice? Also yes. McAndrews also says that “The US Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets,” which to me feels like code for “you’re gonna get shot if you try to go in there”. Are the “assets” extraterrestrial activities? Is ET real? How much longer until this event is sponsored? Is this going to be the next Fyre Festival? Either way, this has brought us great memes, so that’s all that really matters.
To recap, you should not try to storm Area 51. If Stranger Things taught us anything, it’s that breaking into a highly protected government building to find some aliens is only going to f*ck up your life. If you’re going to actually spend the money on a plane ticket to go to Nevada, you’re probably better off going to Vegas, where you would likely see weirder sh*t anyway. Luckily for the government, everybody knows that only about 1/3 of people who respond “yes” to Facebook events end up actually attending, so they probably don’t have much to worry about.
Images: JahovasWitniss, NATCpod / Twitter
If you’re like me, you probably don’t spend a ton of time thinking about aliens. I don’t have any proof that they’re not real, but the whole idea of UFOs crashing in the desert has always seemed a little unrealistic to me. But just because I don’t care about aliens doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy memes about aliens. Over the past week, a Facebook event promising to raid the top-secret military base at Area 51 has gone totally viral, it’s pretty much the weirdest, funniest thing happening on the internet right now.
The event is scheduled for September 20, but it’s unclear if anyone is actually planning to show up. Over a million people have RSVPed, but the US Air Force has advised people against trying to storm an active military base. I can’t imagine why they would have an issue with this! While the details of the event are a little confusing, the memes have been amazing. Here are some of the best ones.
So my mom said she can take us to area 51 or pick us up, but she's not doing both.
— duo (@duolingous) July 13, 2019
I’m having visceral flashbacks to arguing with my mom over how much she was willing to drive my ass around. My mom would definitely have nothing to do with this nonsense, though.
the aliens at #Area51 waiting for the we outside text pic.twitter.com/3ZVywYKtg7
— Sabrina??? (@idkhonestlyok) July 12, 2019
Okay but this is literally me. I’m cursed with being the fastest friend to get ready, so the amount of times I’ve been waiting for my friends to text me that they’re ready is honestly insane. Glad to know I have something in common with the aliens.
Anyone selling two VIP wristbands for Area 51 weekend 1… lemme know
— jilly hendrix (@jillyhendrix) July 14, 2019
I can already see people booking flights to Nevada and risking their lives just to get a funny Instagram pic. It’s exactly like Coachella, just with armed guards instead of an Ariana Grande concert at the end. Also, there probably aren’t any influencer parties.
YOOOOOO. The biggest hazard of unleashing aliens on the world is that I’m sure their species has plenty of f*ckboys too. The truth is out there or whatever, but so are the “u up?” texts.
At this point my only hope for finding a guy who will text back is to raid Area 51
— notanothertruecrimepod (@NATCpod) July 15, 2019
While there’s a high probability that all alien men are assholes, what if they’re not? Human men are trashy enough that it might be worth it to give aliens a try. It literally can’t get any worse.
Government:*pulls up to my house* Sir do you have an alien if so hand it over
Me and everyone who raided Area 51:#Area51memes #Area51 pic.twitter.com/lDuQeFQ1X7— キラキラ (@baratingz) July 13, 2019
I’d just like to put it on the record that this is my favorite video of all time. There is never, ever a wrong time for a Real Housewives meme, and I love the idea that we’re all just going to be hiding aliens in our houses. Is this all just an elaborate promotional scheme for the new Men In Black movie? Did you even know there was a new Men In Black movie? I saw it, and it was bad.
My motivation to study Vs. My motivation to get into Area 51 pic.twitter.com/lF7TbFb5RU
— College Student (@FactsOfSchool) July 13, 2019
This is painfully applicable to every single part of my life. If it is important, I do not care enough to get out of bed. If it is a viral meme that started as a sh*tpost on Facebook, I am way too f*cking hype. It’s my biggest flaw.
me after I save an alien but it keeps making jokes about destroying mankind #Area51memes #area51raid #Area51 pic.twitter.com/moPxY6x7RQ
— Joe (@JFlecTV) July 13, 2019
The biggest problem with kidnapping a bunch of aliens (aside from the fact that they’re not real) is that we don’t know what their intentions are. Maybe they look all furry and cute, but we have no idea what they’re capable of. Let me just remind you that I saw the new Men In Black movie, so I know how wrong these things can go.
the guards laughing at us after we enter area 51 and see no aliens #Area51 #area51raid #Area51memes pic.twitter.com/NCYtTDh1QW
— m (@remysthots) July 13, 2019
As funny as these memes are, the real joke is any of us thinking that there are actual aliens being hidden in the middle of nowhere in Nevada. I love The X-Files as much as the next person, but that sh*t is fictional. Please, please don’t risk getting shot down in the desert just because of a troll Facebook event.
Images: Oliver Pacas / Unsplash; duolingous, idkhonestlyok, jillyhendrix, natcpod, baratingz, factsofschool, jflectv, remysthots / Twitter; kweenkwerke / Instagram
It’s cold outside and you’re 5 minutes way from texting your friends and cancelling that catch-up-over-wine plan you’ve already cancelled three times. Just do it. Stay inside. Get high and google a bunch of these balls to the wall insane conspiracy theories. And then next time you actually get your shit together and go out and be social, you can tell everyone about them. You’ll sound like really, really smart. Or insane. Whatevs.
Denver Airport
Lots of people are headed to Denver to get high AF but a decent amount of loonies think that the Denver airport is also the home to Illuminati headquarters. Conspiracy nuts are convinced that the artwork is conveying a secret alien language and that the runways are purposefully laid out in a swastika. Again, this theory is probs just exacerbated because everyone there is high.
Mandela Effect
So, when Nelson Mandela was released from jail tons of people were like “WTF, wasn’t he dead?” Well, first of all, rude. He wasn’t dead. But second of all, it spurred this new theory that we are all living in multiple alternative timelines. So the people who were like “WTF, wasn’t he dead?” were remembering an occurrence from an alternative timeline that actually did happen. Scientists call this collective memory, but we aren’t getting stoney baloney to read what scientists have to say, we’re interested in conspiracy theorists in their mom’s basement making us question reality.
Katy Perry Is JonBenet Ramsey
There’s a small legion of folks who are convinced that child model JonBenet Ramsey who was brutally murdered in 1996 was actually…not murdered. And not only was she not murdered, she is now world famous pop sensation Katy Perry. I mean, could this be true? Sure. But does Katy Perry also just look like every hot girl from musical theater camp in 2003? Yes.
Stevie Wonder Isn’t Actually Blind
This one is actually incredibly fun because in trying to determine if Stevie Wonder is blind or not you get to watch dozens and dozens of his performances and there’s a reason he’s famous— he’s very talented. But some people think it’s a schtick. Blind or not he’s a musical visionary, soooo.
Area 51
I mean a reality star who got famous for putting his name on steaks and tall buildings is our president so like, I’m ready to believe that aliens are real and are being hidden in Area 51. People believe that crashed UFO crafts are kept at the government owned private land outside of Las Vegas. There is tons to be read about the mysterious plot of land and you should honestly consider having one of your Las Vegas bachelorette party activities be “breaking into Area 51.” Doesn’t that sound more fun than penis cakes?
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