Most days the world is like a giant dumpster fire, and the president is there dousing it with gasoline and covfefe, but today we have been blessed with a special treat and the world is like a hilarious cartoon and the president walked onto a plane with toilet paper stuck to his shoe. The only way this could have been better is if he slipped on a banana peel after (and didn’t get hurt because people getting hurt is bad, ty for reading FBI).
I’ll cut straight to the actual, actual footage and give the people what they want here:
This video of President Trump with toilet paper on his shoe is 100% real. He was boarding Air Force One in Minneapolis earlier today. pic.twitter.com/wr0ZnXknCx
— Beatrice-Elizabeth Peterson (@MissBeaE) October 5, 2018
What a gorgeous piece of cinema, no? Five stars. Also, as many people on Twitter pointed out, this just proves that nobody in Trump’s orbit respects him enough to tell him when he has toilet paper on his shoe. That is like, so sad. As the wise, literally perfect Chrissy Teigen once tweeted to Trump, “lol no one likes you.”
Is this what they mean when they say it’s the little things in life? Because I’ve always felt it was the big things in life, like becoming famous to spite all my exes, but now that I’ve seen Trump board a plane with literal garbage attached to him I’m starting to see the appeal of these little things. Anyway, v much looking forward to the next presidential alert that says “THAT WAS NOT TOILET PAPER ON MY SHOE AND ALSO THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE AT MY INAUGURATION THAN OBAMA’S AND MY DICK IS TREMENDOUSLY BIG AND LOOKS NOTHING LIKE A MUSHROOM, CASE CLOSED.”
Enjoy this moment while you can.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
In another move toward our president concerning himself with the really important issues in our country, Trump wants to re-paint Air Force One from its current blue to red, white and blue. Mr. President, painting your country’s flag on your plane is like going to your favorite band’s concert and wearing their T-shirt. It’s lame and everyone is going to make fun of you.
Trump calls the robin’s egg blue color “Jackie Kennedy’s color” and is aiming for a “more American” look. I sympathize with the designer who has to figure out a way to make paint patriotic. The next thing we know we’re going to see Air Force One covered in ads for Budweiser, Hot Dogs, McDonald’s and Dunkin’ Donuts. There goes the most American plane in the sky! Instead of pretzels, we serve gun-shaped crackers!
In an interview in Scotland with “CBS Evening News,” Trump said, “Air Force One is going to be incredible. It’s gonna be the top of the line, the top in the world. And it’s gonna be red, white and blue, which I think is appropriate.” The planes are set to be finished by 2024 according to a 3.9 billion dollar contract received by Boeing Inc. Before Trump took office in January 2017, he criticized the Boeing contract tweeting, “Boeing is building a brand new 747 Air Force One for future presidents, but costs are out of control, more than $4 billion. Cancel order!” Boeing Chief Executive Officer, Dennis Muilenberg visited Trump’s Mar-a-lago resort in January and promised, “We’re going to get it done for less than that, and we’re committed to working together to make sure that happens.” I guess there’s nothing like a relaxing trip to Mar-a-lago to negotiate a 4 billion dollar contract down to a 3.9 billion one.
Before the Kennedy’s redesigned Air Force one in 1962, it was red and black.
Air Force One, 1962, before it was redesigned by Kennedys: pic.twitter.com/suCR3bXyge
— Michael Beschloss (@BeschlossDC) July 18, 2018
If we look on the bright side, we could say Trump is trying to blend the old red with the current blue. When we asked Melania what her thoughts were on this issue, her jacket said, “I really don’t care. Do u?”
Melania Trump wore a jacket that literally says “I really don’t care. Do u?” on her way to visit a child detention center in Texas. She reportedly changed outfits after she got off the plane. pic.twitter.com/3yUuroFNPb
— NowThis (@nowthisnews) June 21, 2018
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
Sometimes we have to face the hard hitting fact that we are living in a time when the state of our president’s disastrous toupé is considered news. Sorry, but we all need a good spirit lift, especially on a Friday, and images of Trump’s busted wig do the trick. Buzzfeed was considerate enough to bless the internet with a compilation of photos of the president boarding Air Force One on a windy day. His “hair” was flip-flap-flopping all over the GD place, if you can believe. Here are some of the photos. You’re welcome to your love of shade throwing, and I’m sorry to your eyeballs
The Surf’s Up!
— David Mack (@davidmackau) April 5, 2018
The Great Plateau
i have no words pic.twitter.com/ex9Mrrlpw8
— David Mack (@davidmackau) April 5, 2018
Easy, Breezy, Beautiful!
watching his hair blow in the wind is honestly hypnotic pic.twitter.com/k82Kl37Ejq
— David Mack (@davidmackau) April 5, 2018
Trump has money. That’s like, his whole thing. So why doesn’t he just buy a better wig? Why doesn’t he just embrace nature, go with god, and go bald? Why was he elected to be the leader of the free world? Am I living in a nightmare? Will I ever wake up? These are the Q’s that I have.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!
Images: Twitter (3)
