Like the rest of the world, I am really, really obsessed with Marie Kondo right now. Like, I need her to follow me around and give me life advice all the time. She could tell me which of my dates are trash and don’t bring me joy. She’s like Xanax in person form with her little calming voice. There is nothing that woman can’t handle, and she’ll make it pretty and decluttered in the process. If you want to live as peacefully as Marie, you def can’t be throwing all your sh*t around all the time because living in clutter stresses everyone out. I bought a TON of organizational products after moving to smaller apartment last year and even more after watching her show, but here’s a list of my favorite have-to-have organizational products if you want to live the Marie Kondo way. It’s like I’m Oprah, here are my FAVORITE THINGS:
This rack is the best. Not only is it super cheap, but I was also able to build it in about 7 minutes. I’m no Rob Parks-Valletta, but if you ask Scheana that’s pretty impressive. I used to have a way bigger closet and I kept my shoes in clear plastic boxes (which is totally the way to go if you have the space) but in my new tiny af walk-in, this saves soooo much space. I have it against the wall where there isn’t hanging space and it fits exactly 30 shoes—booties and heels included. They also have a hanging version for the back of your closet door (I have both for max storage) . Pro tip: Put your heavy shoes on the bottom, which I originally didn’t do and eventually my tower started to sag. The tower is also attractive enough that it can be on display in your room without being totally heinous.
I started meal prepping because I never have time to cook, which caused me to eat out all the time, which caused me to gain weight. I’ve been using old takeout containers for ages to portion out my meals, but they’re ugly, they crack, they take up a lot of space in my cabinets, and they come in so many different shapes and sizes and I can never find the f*cking matching lids. I finally decided to buy nice glass containers, and it changed my life. They are easier to clean, look nicer, have locking lids so they don’t spill, and are oven/dishwasher/microwave/freezer safe. I have this set of 5 instead of 30 cheap broken ones, and I feel like so much more of an adult.
This is for that “paper” section that makes people cry on Tidying Up With Marie Kondo. Why? Why are you saving old receipts from 2009 anyway? Once you go through all of your paper, photos, etc., save what you absolutely must keep in this adorable organizer. It also folds up in case you don’t have an office and don’t want it as wall art.
You have no idea how ashamed I am of myself. There is nothing, nothing that excited me more than the day I first used my Joseph Joseph Kitchen Drawer Organizers. This is because I have the World’s Tiniest Kitchen™ and I have no drawer space. These trays are so genius. I was able to use both the cutlery one and knife one in one standard kitchen drawer with room to spare. Cutlery used to take a whole drawer by itself and then I had all my kitchen knives haphazardly thrown about in it and risked violent death every time I needed one. Okay, at least a light stabbing. NOT ANYMORE. I have these right next to each other and then in the additional space leftover, I have odd kitchen items like wine openers, chopsticks, pho spoons, rubber wine corks, etc. This is how I know I’m old, cutlery organization brings me SO MUCH joy.
I saw this on Instagram and my mind exploded. Let me ask you, is it weird to be sexually attracted to a bathroom storage set? I mean. Just look at the picture. My bathroom under sink area was full of baskets that were stacked on each other and I had to move each one to get things out of them. This is so much better. However, definitely measure your under sink before you just buy all the stuff. I learned the hard way that my sink pipe is not so neat and narrow as the picture and instead juts out sideways to take up a ton of unnecessary space. I was only able to fit two stacking drawers instead of three, and there was no room for the little caddy in the middle. But I just kept those items and put them under my kitchen sink. I still regret nothing and I can find things so much easier now.
This is one of those weird organizational products that I never knew how much I needed. Since I like to procrastinate doing laundry for as long as possible, I go through a lot of clothes and all my hangers end up all over the place. Usually on the floor of my very tiny closet. Which then I accidentally step on them as I’m trying to get to my clothes. And then they break. And then I cry, because they’re those slim-fit velvet hangers, which btw, save so much space and are a total must-have if you somehow missed the boat when they started being trendy 10 years ago. But I saw this hanger stacker recently and was like, “actually that could fit in my tiny closet next to my shoe rack” (see above). So I decided to give it a try and it is so convenient. I just neatly toss all my hangers on it as I use my clothes. It’s also way nicer when you need to hang things back up, since they’re all in one place, you don’t have to go hunting for them. We’ve had no hanger casualties or closet clutter since!
Images: Amazon (5); The Container Store; Netflix
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We know your dirty, disgusting, secret. Despite sleeping, touching, wiping, or wearing these things just about every day, you seldom wash them. Don’t deny it. We’re talking about your pajamas, your lounge pants, your sheets, and your towels. Be honest—when was the last time you stripped your bed and hardcore cleaned everything on it? If you say last week, you’re lying. It’s time to admit your faults, betch. To help combat these dirty habits, here’s a guide as to how often you should be washing those seldom cleaned items. Get your shit together and stop being dirty. What would your mother say if she knew you lived like this?
Every time you pop out of the shower, you use a fucking towel. Yah, you may be clean, but think about all the dead skin that towel is sloughing off; hair product it’s soaking up; soap and shit it’s cleaning off … that’s hella gross. According to the Huffinton Post, towels need to be washed every three to four uses. I mean, they’re probably getting mildewed and smelly anyway at that point. Also, if you’ve washed the towel multiple times and it still smells moldy or old, time to throw that shit away. For hand and dish towels, you need to be washing much more fucking often—like, every other day. Yikes.
Once per fucking week. Yes, really. Although it’s totally fucking time-consuming and now you have to remake the bed and omfg this is the worst, there’s a huge buildup of sweat, skin (yes, really), dust, and other disgusting shit all up in yo sheets. And that’s just when you sleep—I’m not even going to get into your sex life because that’s a whole Pandora’s box I’m not trying to open rn. Use hot water and a hot dry cycle to just fucking kill all the germs. Oh, and use bleach. According to Men’s Health, you need to think of your sheets as clothes that you literally wear for eight hours every fucking night.
Okay, honestly, these follow the same rules as your clothes (not jeans, cause we know those never get dirty). Pajamas should be washed every other day or so. I mean, why else would you have seven pairs of comfy pants? Because you fucking need them when the other shit is dirty, that’s why. Like, think about how often you wake up in a cold sweat. And now think about how many times you’ve put those same pajamas back on the next night without second thought. YA NASTY.
According to CNN, bed pillows can host up to 16 species of fungi, which, honestly, is fucking disgusting. Use a gentle cycle, hot water, and your fav super expensive detergent and wash those pillows at least every three months. You may even want to put them through the rinse cycle twice. To dry, add two clean tennis balls to the dryer and set on low. And we’re talking about your actual pillows—not the pillowcase, which you should wash at least once a week, especially if you have bad skin. The more you know… the more you hate your life and the amount of laundry you have to do.
You probs wear it every day, so stop going weeks without washing it. You should be washing your bras every three to four days so, like, at least once per week. I’ll let that sink in. Now look at your life, look at your choices. Also, fun fact—the elastic needs time to reset itself, so try not to wear the same bra day in and day out unless you want some saggy titties.
Okay yes, jeans never get dirty according to, like, everyone. But actually, they do. You need to be washing your jeans every four or five wears, according to WhoWhatWear. Honestly, you don’t want to wash much more than that because you’ll make the denim weird and then you’ll, in turn, look fucking weird. Also, always wash them in cold water, because obviously.
7. Bathroom Rugs
We’re talking the easy, pick-them-up-and-throw-them-in-the-wash versions probs down on your bathroom floor right now. Seriously, how often do you pick those up and wash them? According to the Huffington Post, these need to be thrown in the hot cycle every one or two weeks. P.S., you can also throw that plastic bath mat with the suction cups that sits on the inside of your tub in the washing machine, too. Just don’t throw it in the fucking dryer because, obviously, melted plastic is a no-no.
So now you have no more excuses to be fucking disgusting. Embrace your inner domestic betch and clean your shit, seriously.