Let’s get one thing straight before getting into this list: if you bang hard enough in any position, it’s exercise. But, I get it. We’ve all had a time or two (or three) when our stamina is pushed to the limit. It’s the moment you wish you went to the gym more so you could keep the sex going. (It’s normal, it happens to everyone, and it’s not a big deal.) Unfortunately, going to the gym requires… actually going to the gym. And who has time for that this winter? I can barely make it out of my bed to go to work. I’m not going to brave the elements just so I can work up a sweat when I can do that just fine in my own bed. So, here are sex positions that count as cardio and defs will make you hit the showers after (maybe for round two?).
This one sounds like some yoga sh*t, but trust me, you’ll feel the burn. This is not for the weak—or uncoordinated. Basically, the guy sits cross-legged and the girl straddles him, and it somehow works. It takes a special couple to be able to coordinate their bounces perfectly to actually count this as having sex and not just like, sitting weirdly. My boyfriend and I cannot master this one, no matter how many times we’ve tried. But I can tell you that just attempting this position is a workout in itself. The guy can burn about 40 calories per half hour, while the girl can burn up to 100 calories.
2. Doggy Style
This position is a killer workout for both partners, and I think we all know the mechanics of this one. For her, being on all fours works your abs and quads, getting that bikini body ready. For him, the faster he thrusts, the better the workout. According to The Cut, the girl can burn up to 118 calories in 30 minutes, while the guy can burn up to 211. (That’s provided he can last for 30 minutes.) To put this in perspective, jogging at five miles per hour for 10 minutes can burn 91 calories. Moral of the story? Bang longer to burn more.
This one is your classic cowgirl position that
we all some of us know and love, but with a twist. Instead of bending your knees, crouch on top of him. Doing so spikes the girl’s calories burnt to about 120 to 170 calories. How many calories will the guy burn? Zero. True.
This one is a REAL workout and definitely one of the best sex positions that count as cardio. The girl can burn around 150 calories per half hour and the guy can burn up to 500 calories. Want to up the cardio level? Pick her up, man. I’m not gonna say that the larger you are, the more calories he can burn, but if you’re five feet tall and a size zero, he’s not burning that much. Just another reason to have that second piece of cake!
This one has the benefits of missionary position with some added results. In missionary, the girl can burn about 44 calories, while the guy can burn around 143 calories. But shoulder stand is basically the candlestick position you used to do as a kid in gymnastics. She’ll be working her abs like crazy, so thank your childhood gymnast for the help. Bonus: this position will have him working his glutes, giving him buns of steel.
6. Legs Up
Just prop those legs up on his shoulders, and you’ll be able to justify not going to the gym that day. Not only will the girl burn around 115 calories, but she’ll also increase her flexibility. He’ll burn about 130 calories, which is great.
But remember, no matter what position you do, stay safe, kids.
Images: Stokpic/Pexels; Giphy (3)
People tend to save ab workouts for like, 10 minutes before spring break when you realize your juice cleanse was pointless so you resort to a few crunches and a 30-second plank. Most people don’t know that working your abs is about so much more than getting a visible six-pack in your bikini. In fact, all the crunches in the world prob wouldn’t give you those sort of results. Having real core strength makes every other workout easier and helps you push yourself harder, burning even more calories. If you’re bored of your classic scissor kicks and can’t do another sit-up, try these underrated ab moves that will help strengthen your core and tone your abs. You won’t be able to laugh tomorrow, but like, at least you have an excuse for your resting betch face.
1. Bear Crawl
The bear crawl is a killer ab move if you’re doing it right, so make sure to feel your abs engaged the entire time. The idea is to stack your shoulders over your wrists like you’re about to hold a plank, but then bring your knees under your hips and raise them just an inch or so off the ground, keeping your back flat and your core tight. At this point you should look like a bear. Get it? Now, start “crawling” forward (Right arm/left foot, etc. Like a bear!) for as far as you can before reversing backwards. This move kills because it engages your lower abs and ensures that your butt isn’t sinking too low and taking away from your ab activation. Use the space you have, or do six to eight “steps.”
2. Army Crawl
For this move you’ll need gliders or two towels and a floor that allows you to move. Usually the regular wooden floor in the group class room of the gym is perfect. Put one foot on each glider or towel, and then get into a forearm plank, with your hands directly under your head. In the plank position, crawl with your forearms all the way forward, and then backward. You’re basically pulling your core with your arms, and you have to keep your hips square the entire time without swaying. Think about keeping a tight core and literally moving your body with only your midsection. Set a 20- or 30-second timer and do the crawls in intervals with breaks in between.
These people aren’t using sliders, because they’re poor. But you get the idea.
3. Ab Wheel Rollout
Most gyms have an ab wheel lying around, and people usually ignore it because they either don’t know how to use it or they think their own bodyweight exercises are more effective. The ab wheel is a hidden gem, and using it in your ab workouts will be an actual game changer. Start on your knees with the wheel in front of you. Hold onto the handles, and roll the wheel outward, bringing your body out as far as it can go without caving in your back. Keep your abs tight as you roll outward, and then roll the wheel back in. Start with 5 reps and then try 10 once you start building strength in your core.
4. One-Handed Plank
The one-handed plank is one of those moves that seems like it would be easy, but once you try to get into position, you realize how much control you need to hold it for even 10 seconds. Just as you’d think, this move is a regular plank, but you only use one hand, so try to do 20 seconds on your right side and then 20 seconds on your left. It’s easier to start with your hand centered in front of your chest, but try to work it back out to under your shoulder as you get stronger. The idea is to keep your body square to the ground without raising your hips on one side. It’s not a side plank, so you shouldn’t be using your obliques. The point is to engage your entire core the whole time to stay straight and tight on each side.
Pike-ups can be done on the same gliders that you used with your army crawls, but a lot of people do them on TRX bands by putting your feet into the strap handles. Either way, the idea here is to start in a high plank position and then slowly bring your feet down toward your head while the top of your head rotates toward the ground, creating an upside down V-shape with your body. Your head should end up in between your arms, looking directly behind you, almost like you’re doing a handstand with your feet supported. It’s important to NOT bend your knees and to use your abs to bring your legs in. Do 8-10 slow reps.
6. Boat Pose With Pulse
The boat pose is great for your lower abs, and adding in a pulse just activates more muscles in the area, so it’s perfect for burning out your abs at the end of a workout. Sounds fun, right? Start in a seated position and rock back so you’re basically sitting on your tailbone (you’ll want a mat for this). Raise your feet up with a bend at your knees and lift your chest while raising your arms out in front of you. Again, your body should look like a V-shape. Then, keeping your hands extended toward your feet, pulse them up and down while keeping your core tight. Try to hold for a minute, alternating between holding the pose and pulsing your hands. You’ll most likely be cursing toward the end, but eventually it’ll get easier. But like, no promises.
If you thought you could kiss your summer body goodbye forever and head straight to the sleeve of BBQ Pringles in your pantry, maybe we should remind you Halloween is around the corner. Whether you’re being a slutty bunny for the eighth year in a row or getting regretfully creative with some cringeworthy political costume, you’re probably planning on showing a lot of skin, so you’ll need to look like you haven’t completely let yourself go since the Fourth of July. Here’s a quick workout that burns calories and targets your abs, so you can look amazing in your costume and spend the rest of the night drunk-eating mini Snickers bars. Complete the circuit three to four times total, and thank us when your slutty nurse costume fits better than ever.
1. Mountain Climbers
Starting the workout off with mountain climbers ensures that you’re getting your heart rate up while engaging your abs, so we’re already getting shit done. The idea behind mountain climbers is to stack your arms over your wrists and jog your knees into your chest, so you’re basically holding a plank while running in place. Don’t worry about moving your legs too fast because the main idea is to keep your core stabilized. Try not to lift your butt too high into the air or spread your arms too far in front of you, or else you’re defeating the purpose. Do 40 reps total.
2. Russian Twists
This exercise targets the top and sides of your abs, so if you’re doing it right, it should hurt when you laugh tomorrow. To really feel the burn on this one, you’ll probably need a weight or a kettlebell, but if you’re a beginner, you can just use your hands. Lie on the floor with your legs out in front of you, keeping them bent at the knees. Then, elevate your upper body so that it creates an imaginary V-shape with your thighs. Move the weight from one side of the body to the other, using your abs to bring it over. Do 12 reps.
3. Side Plank With Dips
This move is literally how Khloé Kardashian lost her muffin top, so if you’re looking to invest in a tight crop top this Halloween, I’d pay attention. The side plank is all about your obliques, which are where your love handles are. To tone that area, it’s important to keep everything tight and engaged, so don’t rush through this one. Start in a side plank on your elbow, keeping your legs straight and your feet stacked. Then, lower your hip to the floor, lightly tapping the ground before you lift it back up. Do 10 hip dips and then switch to the other side to do the same thing.
No one ever looked good in a French maid onesie costume without some cardio, so let’s stop kidding ourselves. Burpees are key when it comes to burning a ton of calories in a short amount of time, so only do 8-10 of these per round. Standing with your feet shoulder-width apart and your arms at your sides, lower your body into a squat and place your hands on the floor in front of you, jumping your feet back so that you’re in a plank position. Once your body is in a straight line, lower your chest to the floor and then bring it back up as quickly as you can. Then, jump your feet forward, outside of your hands, and jump up with your arms in the air. So easy.
5. Lying Leg Raises
So many girls neglect their lower abs because they think they can do a million crunches and look great in a crop top. Your lower ab muscles are really the area that give your stomach a toned, slim shape, so doing leg raises is v important. Lying flat on your back with your legs straight out in front of you, keep your feet touching while you slowly lift your legs up to the ceiling until your butt is slightly off the floor. Then, lower them back down until they’re a few inches off the floor. Do 10 reps total, and remember to inhale while you lift up and exhale while you lower down. Don’t make this harder on yourself by holding your breath the entire time.
6. Plank Jacks To Plank Hold
This last move is basically two exercises in one, but stop whining because we’ve noticed how many PSL’s you’ve been drinking recently. (And you’re not even asking for skim milk. For shame.) Both moves start in a plank position, so start on your forearms with your body in one line and your feet a few inches apart. Make sure to squeeze every muscle in your abs, butt, and legs to keep your body stabilized the entire time. Then, jump your feet in and out, as if you’re doing jumping jacks without standing up. After about 20 jacks, hold the plank for a full minute, or as long as you can until your abs start crying. Whichever comes first.