In honor of October 3, the date Cady Heron asked Aaron Samuels what day it was, we thought we’d check in on the hottest guy at North Shore.
Well, the good news is that Jonathan Bennett is pretty easy to track down, meaning he hasn’t completely fallen off the face of the earth. Even though he hasn’t been in a movie as successful with betches as Mean Girls, his IMDb page has a consistent amount of entries.
Bennett is currently starring on the channel that has tricked us into thinking Bobby Flay is kind of hot because he can make a decent taco, The Food Network. He’s hosting Halloween Wars, which I guess is like a Cupcake Wars type competition show, but with super gross-looking Halloween themed desserts.
His hair still has some Aaron Samuels-esque thickness, but the cut has been updated to fit 2017 and not… uh… 2004. Yeah, that movie came out a really fucking long time ago and I bet you feel super old now.
Instead of making out with Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams, though, Bennett’s acting chops are relegated, at least online, to goofy skits where he pretends to be Dracula and drinks cranberry juice.
On the show, I’m pretty sure he just introduces the challenges and contestants and says really lame puns like “You’re in for a spooktacular time!” and “Grool”. You know, shit that’s kind of socially retarded and weird, but he’s our friend, so just promise me you won’t make fun of him.
I don’t think that simultaneously hunky-yet-lame football player costume from the movie ever makes an appearance in this show, but people probably move on from that one role they did 13 years ago. It’s not our fault that movie is so popular. Oh wait, yes it is.
Four for you, Jonathan Bennett, for staying out of jail and not getting a DUI (that we know of). I guess you can still sit with us, as long as you bring dessert and also maybe Bobby Flay.
If you don’t care about Halloween Wars but still care about Halloween, then you’re in luck. With Shop Betches’ two oversize T-shirt dresses, I’m A Mouse Duh and Boo You Whore, you can combine your fave holiday with your fave movie and rep Mean Girls from wherever you are. These super comfy T-shirt dresses are here just in time for Halloween. Buy them now because last year they sold out super fast.
Jonathan Bennett aka Aaron Samuels recently got interviewed after a Mean Girls screening (These exist? Why am I not attending regularly?) to discuss the possibility of a sequel and talk shit about a bunch of celebrities. TooFab presented him with a Burn Book featuring some of his Mean Girls co-stars, pop singers, etc. and asked him to “burn” the celebrity whose picture they showed. We learned a few things from this whole debacle, namely that Jonathan Bennett is the worst at talking shit except when it comes to Lindsay Lohan, in which case he’s an absolute savage.
Rachel McAdams was up first and Jonathan’s “burn” was that she has the “softest lips” he’s ever kissed and is the “most beautiful person ever.” I get that it’s pretty hard to find a flaw in Rachel McAdams but come on, that’s pathetic even if she was half a virgin when she met him. Jonathan then proceeded to nice talk Lacey Chabert, who he said is like a sister, and Amanda Seyfried, who he called “one of the sweetest people ever.” Then it got to Lindsay and everything fell apart in the most amazing way possible.
It all started with the interviewer showing Jonathan her picture and him responding with the sentence, “That’s not Lindsay.” To be clear, this wasn’t some sketchy paparazzi photo, it was a standard headshot of her smiling, meaning he straight-up forgot what her face looked like. This is obviously priceless for several reasons, but to be fair he’s probably not the first person to selectively forget an experience with LiLo at this point.
To make matters
worse even better, he then holds the picture closer to his face, pretends to recognize her and follows this with a “Linds, lookin’ good! Lindsay, looking really good.” He delivers this with enough condescension to clearly mean, “Wow, you don’t look nearly as strung out as I remember!” He finally throws in a “Really coming together Linds,” which is probably the most brutal part of the entire thing. What’s “really coming together,” her looking semi-normal in a picture? True though. Regina would be so proud.
Watch the whole video below if you like, care.