Today is the Day Without A Woman strike! It is my sincere hope that you are reading this under a thousand covers, eye mask half on, after having left a 20 minute long voicemail for your boss explaining how the patriarchy hurts all of us—but if randomly not showing up to work isn’t something you can do right now (fair), here are four other ways you can participate in the Women’s Strike today:
1. Don’t Buy Anything, With Your Money Or Your Dad’s
This does not include minority- or women-owned businesses, so if you absolutely must shop today might I direct you to shopbetches.com?
2. Wear Red
Not that you need an excuse to wear a bold lip, but lipstick totally counts here.
3. Refuse To Do Work, Paid Or Unpaid
You probably know what paid work is (if not idk what to tell you), but if you’re confused about “unpaid” labor, it’s basically all the shit that you do for other people (men) all day that you don’t get any money for. So like, when you do your boyfriend’s dishes because he seems to be confused about how dishes go from being dirty to clean, that’s unpaid labor. When you help your best guy friend write his dating profile because when left to his own devices he’ll include stuff like “looking for a quick beej,” that’s unpaid labor. If you can’t take off paid work today, you can at least take the day off from helping men figure out how to be functioning humans, even though they might like…die.
4. Donate To Charities That Support Women
It’s not technically an official part of the Day Without A Woman strike, but we’re taking some liberties here. We’re gonna go out on a limb and say that the “don’t spend money” clause does not apply to charitable organizations whose purpose is to help women. So use the money that you would have spent on a green juice today and divert it to a cause you care about. Reminder that your personal Ben & Jerry’s fund does not actually count as a charity, no matter what its GoFundMe says.
Pro-Women Nonprofits You Can Donate To Like, Now:
The Movement Foundation: If body positivity is your cause, send your cash to The Movement Foundation, which empowers women to feel confident in their bodies by equipping them with the tools to be active. It was started by former SoulCycle instructor Jenny Gaither, so you know it’s legit.
Lady Parts Justice: As a Betches reader, it’s probably safe to say that you have a healthy interest in both women’s rights and comedy (also that you’re smart AF). LPJ uses comedy, culture, and digital media to “sound an alarm” about the erosion of reproductive rights in the U.S. They were the women behind the nationally trending #PaulRyanSoScared, and what could be more worthy of your support than trolling Paul Ryan on Twitter?
Girls Who Code: Girls Who Code helps to empower girls with the computer science skills they need to pursue 21st century opportunities. Think about how much money you’d pay to not have to ask your guy friends or some sweaty fuckboy at the genius bar for help with your electronics. Then donate that much.
The Malala Fund: The Malala Fund is a group started by Malala Yousafzai (duh) and provides girls around the world with 12 years of education to achieve their potential and create positive change within their families. If you’re feeling on the fence about whether or not your can really spare another $10, calmly remind yourself that the Taliban straight-up shot Malala in the face and then donate an extra $10 for being petty.
Planned Parenthood: You know ‘em, you love ‘em, it’s Planned Parenthood! With the GOP replacement threatening to eliminate Planned Parenthood’s funding, your donations are more important than ever. Do your nails at home this week and donate your manicure money to PP so that your next pregnancy scare doesn’t result in you being tied to Brad from Ultra for the rest of your goddamn life.
Dear Women Against Feminism,
“I don’t need feminism I don’t need something that tells me the actions of a slut are okay and then that the possible evidence of those actions can be thrown away like they were like nothing but a clump of tissue.”
That is a quote from your anti-feminist Tumblr “WomenAgainst Feminism.” The first thing we have to say to you is to learn English. What are you even trying to say here? We’re fairly certain you’re attempting a form of slut-shaming, which is awful by itself, but you’re also saying feminists throw away the “evidence” of slutty actions. What evidence? Promiscuity is not a crime, and feminists aren’t out to prove their sexual expression. Are you trying to say like, you don’t think women should be allowed to sleep around and still be able to legally obtain an abortion? Because having your birth control fail is not “the actions of a slut.” Getting sexually assaulted is not “the actions of a slut.” Having inadequate or no access to birth control and poor sex education is not “the actions of a slut.” What I’m saying is, there are about a million reasons to terminate a pregnancy and I’d bet none of them are “I thought it would be way easier and less invasive than talking a Plan B.”
“Patriarchy doesn’t exist. If it did, then we would have no rights. What kind of patriarchy gives women the exact same rights as men? Not a very effective one.”
Where do we even start with this one?
1. The Patriarchy has existed, and still does exist. It existed when women didn’t have suffrage. It exists now, when women compose half of the United States, but less than 20% of Congress. It exists across the world where a woman is killed to preserve a family’s honor after being raped (side note: feminism isn’t just about America).
2. The Patriarchy is not one man. It is not your loving boyfriend. It is not your dad. It is not that guy you’re seeing. The Patriarchy is society’s collective prejudice, intentional or not, against women that is a result of centuries of male oppression.
3. Women don’t have the exact same rights as men. Ever heard of countries outside the first world? Yeah. Not so great for women.
4. Did you just applaud the “ineffective patriarchy” for giving you rights?
“I don’t need feminism” because:
- I am an adult who is capable of taking responsibility for myself and my actions.
- I define myself and derive my value by my own standards. I don’t need to be “empowered.”
- I am not a target for violence and there is no war against me.
- I respect men. I refuse to demonize them and blame them for my actions.
That’s fantastic. You sound like a strong independent woman. It sounds like you’re… empowered. Furthermore, you are a target for violence. We’re not saying men don’t experience violence or sexual assault. They do; it’s not to be overlooked. But an overwhelming majority of sexual assault is on women. Why? Because these offenders were raised in a patriarchal society that taught them a woman’s body is not her own, that the way she dresses and acts is consent, and that women are nothing more than sex objects. And we repeat, feminists are not out to demonize men. They place partial faults on the Patriarchy, which does not equal “men.” Fucking, duh.
“I don’t need feminism.”
Comments on this post include:
“now once more with your top off kthx”
“and cover these boobs, you slut! (god, why?)”
“will this woman please make me a sandwich?”
Clearly. Clearly you don’t need feminism. Clearly these commenters are looking at you as a person, not a sandwich-making boob robot.
Here’s the thing. Feminists aren’t hairy women hating all men and calling rape on everyone who looks at them. Certainly, there are those people who hate men who call themselves feminists. But feminism is an attempt to help women stand on equal grounds socially and politically with men.
Like, we’re not going to tell you what to believe, we’re just telling you what you believe is completely wrong and probably doing women everywhere a disservice.
Very truly yours,
Thanks to Beyoncé and that African lady on “Flawless,” we are now all familiar with the definition of feminism (something about waking up like this I think?) Now that Bey has taken it upon herself to show us that feminism has less to do with burning your bra and man-hating and more to do with loving yourself and getting the respect you deserve, it’s time for betches to embrace the term and not puss out when somebody asks them point blank if they’re a feminist. (Note—the term “puss out” probs not super pro-feminist but, whatever. We all take on what we can handle.)
So that being said, here are some betchy feminist buzzwords you can use the next time some bro tries to take you down a notch just because you won’t touch his nasty-ass d.
#1 “The Patriarchy”
A long long time ago a bunch of cave bros got together and decided that they couldn’t have women leaving their caves and doing things because they might start doing those things better than men can do them. This idea persisted throughout history as bros convinced themselves that if women were allowed to have jobs and drive cars then men would never get hard again or some other bullshit, and thus the patriarchy was born. The patriarchy is all around us and is constantly trying to hold betches down. Luckily all the betchy ladies in politics and a bunch of just regular citizen betches are not having that shit anymore and are fighting on the daily for a betch’s right to decide not to carry a fuckboy‘s illegitimate child to term and to get paid the same amount as bros for the work they don’t do. TG.
So, there are a lot of super long articles about the psychological impacts of gaslighting and how shitty it is, but for the sake of not boring the shit out of you, here’s a crash course. Remember when your so-called bf blew you off for like a full week and then told everyone you were a “psycho bitch” when you finally went off on him via text? That’s gaslighting. Remember that dude you met on Tinder who said his ex was “crazy” but then after a little investigation you found out he just cheated on her a bunch? Again, that’s gaslighting. Remember that time you were in the car with your hot stepbrother and some chick in a beret laughed at your understanding of Hamlet even though you know you remember Mel Gibson accurately? You guessed it—gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a term that comes from some old-ass movie that means when a bro (or anyone—betches can gaslight other betches) tries to deflect their own shittiness by trying to make you feel insecure and stupid, usually by telling everyone you’re crazy and making you feel crazy. This is the ultimate in shady bro behavior, but unlike other shady things bros do, it’s not attractive. Gaslighting is bullshit and is used by people who want to take away your agency and make you feel small so next time somebody tries to do it to you tell them to fuck off and be like “you can go gaslight your back now byeeeeeeee.”
#3 Slut Shaming
Every betch observes the code of not fucking bros (sometimes) differently. For some betches, “sometimes” literally means “some of the time” and for others it means “basically every weekend now that I’m on Tinder.” Whatever. Do you. A betch is a gift to society and if she chooses to bestow that gift upon an entire basketball team, that’s her prerogative. No judgement. Slut shaming is when people fail to mind their own fucking business and act like what you do or don’t put into your front pocket has anything to do with them. Luckily, betches have been long times champions of the anti-slut shaming movement by embracing the joys of dressing like a slut and always keeping in mind that we’ve “got to stop calling each other sluts and whores because it just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” Thanks Tina.
#4 “The Bechdel Test”
The Bechdel Test is a test for movies that asks one simple question: Does the movie portray at least two named female characters who talk about something other than a man. Sounds easy, but a legit large percentage of movies do not pass this very simple test and it’s like come on, if I could pass Organic Chem you can pass the Bechdel test. It’s not fucking hard. Luckily, the Bechdel test might as well be renamed the Betchdel test because all our fav movies like Clueless, Mean Girls, Bring it On, and Spring Breakers all pass the shit out of it proving once and for all that feminism and betchism go hand in hand.