Over the past few years, there’s no doubt that the biggest trend in TV has been reboots of classic shows from the 90s and 2000s. Some of them are good, and some of them are…less good (BH90210, looking at you), but there’s always a level of excitement that comes with seeing your favorite TV characters back together. Just yesterday, we got our first photo of the entire family assembled for the Lizzie McGuire reboot, and I almost screamed, I was so excited. But happy on-screen reunions often come with tense off-screen ones, and behind the scenes drama can run rampant. That’s apparently the case with Will & Grace, and now we have some crazy new details about what’s been going down when the cameras aren’t rolling.
Will & Grace was obviously a huge hit when it first aired from 1998-2006, so it was a no-brainer when NBC decided to bring it back. They revived the show in 2017 with all four original stars, and it was a critical ratings success. The show was subsequently renewed for two more seasons, and season 11 (which just premiered last night) will serve as the series finale. But while the show has done well for NBC, it seems like the cast is having some trouble getting along.
On Thursday, TVLine reported that Megan Mullally is taking a “temporary leave of absence” from filming, and that she’ll be absent from two episodes later this season. While it’s not unheard of for actors to miss certain days of filming for other projects or personal reasons, it’s a pretty big deal that she’ll be missing from two full episodes. And according to the reports, Mullally’s leave of absence is related to friction on set between her and Debra Messing. Yikes.
While we don’t know what the tension is about, it’s probably been a long time coming. While Megan Mullally and Debra Messing have reportedly never been close, things seemed to take a turn earlier this year, when fans noticed that Megan was no longer following Debra on Instagram, and she subsequently unfollowed costar Sean Hayes as well. Megan still follows Eric McCormack, but none of her three costars follow her. I still don’t understand who spends all their time checking which randoms celebrities aren’t following each other, but they are truly doing the lord’s work.
All this Instagram following and unfollowing nonsense definitely suggests that things probably aren’t all good on set, despite efforts to make us think otherwise. Last month, Eric McCormack responded to rumors of behind the scenes drama in Us Weekly with a less-than-convincing statement: “It seems crazy. It is crazy! I think people worried about that entirely too much. The four of us get along like a house on fire. We always have.”
Hey, Eric? It sounds like you’re overcompensating for something. It’s one thing if there’s not some huge feud between the entire cast, but claiming that you’re all best friends when you’re unfollowing each other on Instagram left and right doesn’t exactly make a strong case. I’ve also never really liked the “house on fire” figure of speech, and especially in this case, it just makes me think that their relationships are all burning down. The Will & Grace cast has a lot of big personalities, so it would honestly be surprising if none of them had ever clashed on set. We might not know the specific cause of the current drama yet, but it seems pointless to pretend like it doesn’t exist.
Season 11 of Will & Grace just premiered, and they’re still filming, so I have a feeling everyone will be keeping quiet about any drama for now. NBC is paying them all a lot of money, and watching Karen and Jack’s shenanigans might feel less fun if they were tweeting nasty things at each other in real life. But hopefully once it’s all over Megan and Debra will both release juicy tell-all books about their side of what went down, because my little gay heart really needs to know all the tea.
It’s officially February, so that means the sun is still setting at 4pm, we’re still trying to pull off knit turtlenecks, and we’re still watching Netflix. Like, a lot of it. I’d say with the combination of the shitty weather, a boring Bachelor season, and the shit show of our political system, our society is at an all-time low, which means we can only turn to TV to make ourselves feel a little better. I mean, vodka helps too, but it doesn’t give you as much material for elevator small talk at work. If you’ve already binged on all 10 seasons of Friends this month and you’re in need of something new to watch, here are the best shows and movies coming to Netflix this month.
1. ‘Meet The Parents’ & ‘Meet The Fockers’
Ah, two classic movies for Netflix & chill season. First of all, they literally go together, which gives you an excuse to keep the TV on for another two hours, and secondly, they’re both equally great. I mean, there’s nothing like the combo of Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller to make us forget about our own family drama, and also to remind ourselves never to agree to meeting the parents. It’s always a trap.
2. ‘Coach Snoop’
Watching Snoop in action is more mesmerizing than watching Cardi B give a live TV interview. Luckily for us, Netflix is literally giving us a show that allows us to watch Snoop in his very unknown natural habitat of little league football coaching. Is this real life? The answer is yes, and the show is coming out this week. Sit back, relax, and watch Coach Snoop coach a team of teenagers, no bong in sight.
3. ‘Ocean’s Eleven’, ‘Twelve’ and ‘Thirteen’
Apparently there’s an Ocean’s Eight coming out this summer, so I guess now is a sensible time to catch up on the other three. Ocean’s Eight will be an all-female spin-off with a killer cast. We’re talking about Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Mindy Kaling, Rihanna, James Corden, even Anne Hathaway (which is frustrating, but you can’t win them all). Think of the OG trilogy as your pregame. The first remake of Ocean’s Eleven (I know, it’s confusing, and Hollywood has been out of ideas since 1970) and its subsequent sequels, though, feature the likes of George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, and more.
4. ‘The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale’
We have to admit we have a soft spot for obnoxious stand-up comedians hosting their own shows, so we’ll be watching Joel McHale’s show. Joel McHale is known for his amazing pop culture shit-talking and fabulous celeb guests, so we’re just praying his show is a fair combo of our two fav pastimes.
5. ‘Project X’
This movie is so underrated, and we’re totally into its revival, so thank you, Netflix. Project X was the movie that encouraged us to drink more and care less, and it also first opened our eyes to the hotness of Miles Teller (if you’d like to fight me on this, I’ll be outside). The movie is all about high school seniors throwing a rager, so maybe it’ll even hype us up to leave the house this weekend and get blackout enough to come home before even making it to the club. Ugh, I love being a responsible adult.
6. All 5 ‘American Pie’ Movies
Another childhood classic. Why weren’t these on Netflix already? I mean, the franchise was obviously overdone and dragged out way too long, but whatever, the jokes are funny and it just reminds us that life gets *somewhat* better after high school. On one hand, I feel like no one wants to watch the original from 1999, but on the other hand, most kids watching Netflix nowadays were prob not even born yet when it came out. Feel old?
7. ‘Everything Sucks’
Speaking of the 90’s, this Netflix original show is supposed to be set in 1996, and it follows high school freshmen through their v sucky lives. Honestly, it looks pretty good. The name caught my eye immediately, and the whole thing just feels like one relatable TBT. I mean, anyone who says they’re not nostalgic for AIM and Tamagotchis is dead to me. Like, I still look for Dunkaroos in the pantry every time I’m drunk.
8. ‘Queer Eye For The Straight Guy’ Reboot
In case you’ve never heard of the original show, the original Queer Eye For the Straight Guy was on TV from 2003 to 2007, and Netflix is launching a reboot with an entirely new cast. The show will follow a new group of “Fab Five” guys who are lifestyle experts and like, D-list celebs with good taste. For example, the well-dressed host on Chopped who announces the mystery basket ingredients was one of the original Queer Eyes. Kinda sounds like our next guilty pleasure… we’ll be watching.
Images: Tookapic / Pexels; Giphy (5)
So I know this response piece is about 13 years too late (God, we are old), but the internet wasn’t really big then and I’ve just finished watching Friends the second time through and I just have a lot of feelings. I know I’m about to lose a significant number of friendships and Betches may lose half its followers, but I’ll be damned if I let my better judgment stop me. I know Rachel and Ross is like, one of the most iconic TV romances of the 90s—possibly of all time—and it probably inspired your future wedding Pinterest board, but I don’t care. Rachel should not have gotten off that plane on the finale of Friends, and I’m not afraid to say it.
Rachel was offered her dream job working for Louis Vuitton in Paris, an opportunity that probably comes once in a lifetime. Now, maybe this is just because I’m dead inside, but there is no man on this Earth—except possibly Future—that I would give up my dream job for. And actually, Future definitely makes enough money to fly back and forth from Paris regularly, so I will amend my previous statement to say that NO man is worth giving up my dream job. As bae himself would say, chase a check, never chase a bitch. And we all know that Ross is Rachel’s bitch, so no, the statement applies as written.
And the same should apply for Rachel. Rachel, despite being spoiled and a daddy’s girl, admittedly hustled her way from shitty coffee shop employee to assistant at Fortunata Fashions to personal shopper at Bloomingdale’s to buyer and personal shopper at Bloomingdale’s to executive at Ralph Lauren. She went through a lot of shit, from serving coffee to her old-ass boss to dealing with Joanna’s crazy, insecure ass (may she rest in peace). She may have been kind of whiny and annoying, and was a bougie-ass ho, but she definitely earned that killer job at LV. And she should not have given up everything she worked so hard for to go back to a job she hated, a job where she’d advanced as far as she could, a job that ALREADY FIRED HER ONCE and didn’t even want to take her back. And all that for some nerdy paleontologist who thinks sushi gives you mind control powers (I wish).
Like, Ross is cool and all, but he’s not “fuck up your life” cool. Plus, what does that say about how much he supposedly loves Rachel if he’s not even willing to meet her in Paris? I mean, he’s been working his dream job for all 10 seasons, how about some compromise?
What really should have happened is Ross should have gotten his shit together, applied for some jobs, and joined Rachel in Paris when he had an offer lined up and ready to go. “But what about Ben?” you say. “He couldn’t just leave his son behind in the U.S.” you say. Okay, so, two things: One, where the hell was Ben all last season of Friends? No, seriously. Was that kid still alive? He is only mentioned in the first part of the last episode and his last physical appearance is in season 8 (“The One Where Joey Dates Rachel”, in case you’re interested—and yeah, I looked it up so try me). Ross never even sees this kid. For all we know, he doesn’t even have visitation rights anymore. Dark, I know, but someone’s got to say it.
Two, what about Emma? She’s Ross’s kid too. Why is it okay for him to leave Emma behind but not Ben? Ben has two moms to take care of him—and he’s like, what, 8 or 9 at this point? He’s good. Rachel, meanwhile, is about to be raising a baby all by herself in a foreign country. If anyone could use Ross’s presence and support, isn’t it Emma?
“But what about true love?” you say. “Doesn’t love conquer all?” you say. “Rachel and Ross are ~meant to be~,” you say, somehow inserting tildes into speech. Yes, let’s talk about ~true love~. Rachel and Ross have dated and have this huge history—they were even fucking married, FFS—but how does the moment Rachel realizes she’s still in love with Ross go down? LET’S ROLL THE TAPE.
“I still have feelings for Ross but feelings don’t mean love. I have feelings for Ross. I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn’t mean that I’m still in love with him. I have sexual feelings but I do love him… *gasp* Oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Like, come on you guys. We all know this is bullshit. You can lie to your friends about your feelings, but you can’t lie to yourself. You can be in denial, you can not want to admit it to yourself, but you yourself not even knowing you’re in love with someone is not a thing. It just isn’t. So how ~real~ is this love really? I’ll leave that to you to decide while I go into the Witness Protection Program.
At the end of the day, there are plenty of fish in the sea—Rachel of all people should know this. Rachel is hot. She would have done fine for herself in Paris. But okay, even if she and Ross are “soul mates” (gag), she should NOT have fucked herself over, ghosted on her dream job in a super unprofessional way and totally burned all her bridges with Louis Vuitton (a very dumb move for someone who wants to work in fashion and now has a baby to support), and gotten off that plane for him. She should have flown to Paris, called Ross from some café, face-first in a croissant, and told him to get his ass on the next flight to Charles de Gaulle. Does that make for good TV? Absolutely not. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t low-key disappointed when she got off that plane. Phalanges be damned.
When it comes to Friends, I was definitely a late bloomer. I only just watched the entire series this past year on Netflix. IDK, my parents repressed me as a kid, what can I say? So I’m not going to be one of those people who pretends to know everything there is to know about Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel. But like, I know things. Or at least, I thought I did until I read about this Friends fan theory about Monica and Joey. This fan theory comes from us courtesy of, where else, Reddit. It was posted like, a year ago to the r/fantheories subreddit (of course there is a fan theories subreddit), but in my defense I only saw Brobible post about it yesterday. No, I cannot in good conscience answer what I was doing on Brobible, but I can tell you I immediately took 12 consecutive showers afterwards.
If you’ve ever wondered WTF Joey does all day and how he manages to be an adult who doesn’t live under the care of his parents or a legally appointed guardian when he acts borderline mentally handicapped, or why Monica acts so crazy all the time and why she doesn’t let Chandler into the closet by the big windows, buckle the fuck up because this theory might explain everything. Straight from Reddit user lolalodge, here we go.
“Alright, so Monica is a restaurant chef, usually a Sous Chef or even head chef most of the time in some rather high end restaurants in NYC. First, most people that work in the restaurant industry tend to gravitate towards some sort of substance since the job is very high stress. But that’s not even my reasoning. See, head chefs and sous chefs in high end restaurants in NYC tend to get paid a lot, like $50-$100 dollars an hour a lot. Monica also lives in a rent controlled apartment that she illegally sublets from her dead grandmother, she even has a roommate to share the bills with. She doesn’t own an obscene amount of clothes or anything, doesn’t go out to bars regularly, so where exactly does her money go?”
Well, first of all, if restaurants and sous chefs today make $50-100 an hour, you’d have to adjust for what they would have been making back in the 90s. But that’s a good point; I never thought about it. On the one hand, Monica seems like the kind of obsessive saver who could retire by age 30 because she’s been putting money into her 401k since she was 11. On the other hand, she probably also spends a lot of cleaning products. But those explanations don’t come close to the theory, which is, wait for it:
“Cocaine, which she stashes in the closet by the big windows, which is why when Chandler opens it in the last season, she flips out because she doesn’t want him to find her cocaine stash. It also explains why Monica is so high energy and high strung. Monica doing cocaine also explains her rapid weight loss back when she was a teenager.”
Wow. Game, set, and that’s match. I can definitely see this. This explains so much. Maybe that’s why Monica likes everything so clean—she doesn’t want anyone to know about her habit. And it’s why she’s always yelling. Wow, everything makes sense. I am shooketh.
But that’s not all. The theory continues, “As for Joey, Joey pretty much smokes weed all day. That’s why he’s always hungry, can eat a ton of food and is constantly napping and is kind of spaced out and a lot of what other people say goes ‘whoosh’ right over his head.”
Okay, I mean, this is less shocking because this is obvious and I feel like Joey was purposefully written this way to kind of allude to this possibility. But also, to quote the Queen Mona Lisa Vito, this theory does not hold water. Number one, eating a ton of food, constantly napping, and being kind of spaced out are literally my M.O. and I don’t even like weed. Show me someone who fits those criteria and I’ll show you your average millennial. Also, and more importantly, Joey like, doesn’t work. Sure, he had that Dr. Drake Ramoray money, but is he really living off that money if he can’t even afford to pay for half of a new fridge? Or like, his share of rent for a significant portion of the show? If there’s a weed man in NYC who’s handing out free weed to the poor, even if he’s fictional, kindly let me know his name and contact information. I know I said I don’t like weed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have friends.
In conclusion, Monica was definitely a coke fiend, and Joey is just the OG millennial. Honestly, Rachel probably did coke too, working in fashion. And Ross too, now that I think about it—it would explain why he became so erratic towards the end and always blew up other nothing. Fuck it, they were all probably on coke; this show was set in Manhattan in the 90s. Except Phoebe—she was definitely on some harder shit.
In case you haven’t noticed, Hollywood isn’t that good at coming up with new ideas. Right now, we’re deep in a trend of rebooting all the best shows from the ‘90s, which we have mixed feelings about. Like, yeah it’s fun to relive our childhood, but it’s a little much. But the newest reboot is one we can definitely get behind: Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
First, and most importantly, there will be no Melissa Joan Hart. As sad as it makes us, Sabrina will still be a teenage witch, and Melissa is in her 40s. Sorry sweetie, maybe next time. In fact, it sounds like the new show will be taken in a much darker direction, focusing on Sabrina’s struggles against the evil that threatens her and everyone around her. Does this mean no talking cat? Because we’re very emotionally attached to Salem.
The show is being produced by the same team as the new Riverdale, which makes sense because Sabrina was originally a character in the same comic world as Archie (who knew?). Also, that means there are totally going to be crossover episodes between the two shows. It’s no Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice, but we’ll take what we can get around here.
We really hope the producers get this one right, so basically just don’t cast Bella Thorne as Sabrina. That’s all we ask. It sounds like the show is still in the preliminary phases, so it could be a while before you’re bingeing it in bed, but it’s coming down the pipeline sooner or later.
Early 2000s MTV was television at its finest. I know there are people that love the vintage shit where it was all about music, and then millennials will bitch about how great Teen Mom is because it opened their eyes to the epidemic of teen pregnancy in trailer parks across America, but like, none of that holds a fucking candle to the days of Real World, The Hills and My Super Sweet Sixteen. It was our first taste of reality TV besides shit like Survivor and American Idol, and we wanted to be exactly like everyone on these shows, even if they were trashy and/or douchey af. There are people who say that Netflix and other streaming services have brought us to the age of “peak TV,” but anyone who had the pleasure of watching Sammi and Ronnie in their first season knows that we reached “peak TV” long ago. That’s why we’re ranking our fave MTV shows from our youth by the only metric that matters: betchiness. Also because like, it’s better than focusing on whatever tf is going on today.
10. ‘Jersey Shore’
Don’t get me wrong, I fucking live for a weekend-long marathon of GTL, bar brawls and Sammi Sweetheart screaming Rahhhnnn at least seven times an episode, but like, this group of guidos and the Jersey Shore in general is so not betchy. They wore shit from… Fuck, idk where you buy shit like that because I would never, but y’all know what I’m talking about. It all looked like it came from the back room at the airbrush T-shirt store they “worked” in. They had a duck land line for fuck’s sake. Funny, but not betchy.
9. All Of The Dating Shows
Looking back on it, all of these shows were beyond fucked up. We think going on Tinder and Bumble is bad? Try having a fuckboy judge whether or not you’re worth his time by going on a date with your mom. Dating in the early 2000s was absolute savage. There was Next, where possible datees sat on a bus together and the main suitor just said “next” after five minutes if they were bored or thought you were ugly; Date My Mom, which is self-explanatory I hope; Room Raiders so pervy dudes everywhere could judge high school girls by their underwear drawer and women could use black light technology to see exactly how much men ejaculate on stuff; and my personal fave, Parental Control, where parents who hated their kid’s S.O. forced them to go on dates with other people and then they watched WITH THE BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND. I’m shook just thinking about it. Anyway, these were fun to watch, but like, if you need to go on one of these wack-ass shows to find love, you def can’t sit with us.
8. ‘Real World’
Real World is basically the OG reality show. If you’re anything like me, Real World was the first show you watched behind your parents’ backs because they didn’t want you turn into an alcoholic thot like all the girls on there. Understandable. The show was entertaining af, mainly because it was a bunch of semi-hot strangers who lived together and therefore ended up fucking, almost killing each other, or saying something racist. Sometimes all three. Naturally. It was fine and we all loved it, but everyone on it was legit trash and was either forgettable or went on to compete on Road Rules or The Challenge aka is now just a desperate middle-aged fame whore. No fucking thanks.
Ahhh… The classic tale of the state-winning high school football team and their undying love for every girl on the cheerleading squad. It was pretty much just MTV capitalizing off all of us being obsessed with Friday Night Lights by giving us a way more boring real life version. I loved it at the time because I could like, relate and shit, but now it’s just meh. Football captain Alex and cheerleading captain Kristin were a cute couple and all, but I would rather exercise than watch people do sports. And that’s serious.
Who doesn’t want to look in celebrities’ houses and see all the tacky shit new money can buy? Hopefully no one because that shit is entertaining. It gains betch points because the whole premise is touring v expensive mansions, but loses points because there’s no drama. Show me an episode of Taylor Swift’s “pad” as they liked to call it and have Katy Perry or like, any of the other billion people who hate her throw a glass of wine in her face. Now that’s a damn show. We need to get Andy Cohen on this, asap.
5. ‘My Super Sweet 16’
It’s a fucking miracle I didn’t turn into a legit terror because of this show. Or maybe I did, idk. Ask my mom. But despite them being the fucking worst, these spoiled af teens were betchy. They knew what they wanted and got it. Even if it was a six figure birthday party. I specifically remember one with two girls who had Sex and the City drag queens and Three 6 Mafia performed. Like, that’s legit af. But god, everyone was so annoying.
4. ‘Laguna Beach’
Let’s have a moment of silence for the first time we met Lauren Conrad… Okay enough of that. Who would have thought an overly bleached blonde teen that obsessed over a guy who friend zoned her for the BSCB would end up being our life idol? But here we are. There was the perfect mix of nice guys, mean girls, and people in the middle we’d actually wanna hang out with and I may or may not have tried to convince my parents to move to the real O.C. more than once. A lot like Two-A-Days, MTV just took a popular TV drama (The O.C., fucking duh) and turned it into a less exciting reality show. I mean, Laguna Beach was great, but no one OD’d in TJ or anything.
3. ‘8th & Ocean’
This is def one of the most underrated, forgotten MTV shows of all time. Beautiful people in a beautiful place with a decent amount of drama? I’m in. We watched really really ridiculously good looking models live together and fight about bookings and who was hotter. Riveting. There were the twins from the astigmatism commercial, the innocent new girl, the heartthrob and some more people who were there but irrelevant. In fact, is there anyway we can make this happen now? With like Gigi, Kendall, Bella, and the likes? God, I should be in television.
2. ‘The City’
This show could have slid into the number one spot because of head betch Olivia Palermo herself. Was she the mean girl who treated nicey-nice Whitney like shit while they worked at DVF? Sure. But welcome to NYC, bitch. You’re not in L.A. anymore. It’s cutthroat af. On The City, we watched Whitney go off on her own and stop being in Lauren’s less qualified but still more successful shadow. She hung with models, worked in fashion, got a scruffy boyfriend in a band, pretty much your usual basic new to New York betch starter kit. But we love Whitney and New York. And we really really love Olivia Palermo.
1. ‘The Hills’
Fucking duh. Lauren Conrad went from back burner betch to HBIC in like one fucking year. Sure, there was the whole Jason Wahler, giving up Paris to live with your bf at the beach thing, but we’re gonna pretend season 1 didn’t happen. We naively believed that Lauren was actually an intern at Teen Vogue and that she and Brody were soul mates and that she really did coincidentally meet a hot, already mic’d girl at the pool of her apartment. Were we stupid? Yeah. But The Hills gave us Lauren Conrad 2.0, one of the betchiest of all betches.
Before Edward Cullen assaulted our eyes with his pasty AF skin, there was Buffy the vampire slayer. Real talk though: Edward better count his fucking blessings that Buffy had better things to do with her time, like stop the apocalypse every five fucking minutes, otherwise you know she would have staked his hipster ass the first chance she got. Can you imagine a world without Edward whining to Bella about all the ways in which he didn’t want to
fuck love her? What a world that would be. Sighs. ANYWAYS, apparently it’s been 20 years since Buffy The Vampire Slayer first aired and I suddenly feel the need to start drinking during lunch because Jesus Christ we’re ancient.
If you’ll remember, this was the show that gave us the best one-liners to fire back at our mothers with when they were being like, sooo embarrassing. It also was the root of our desire to wear red leather and platform sneakers. But most importantly, it gave us the only question to ask if you really wanted to know someone: Are you Team Angel or Team Spike? But because I don’t want to
make someone cry get into this with people on social media, I won’t start this debate now. *Cough* Team Angel *Cough*
From her fashion choices to the way she got every hot AF immortal badass to profess their undying love for her, it’s clear that Buffy was a betch. So in honor of the series’ 20th anniversary, here are 10 reasons why Buffy was a true chosen betch.
1. She knew from a very early age that she was low-key better than everyone else around her and she wasn’t afraid to
brag talk about it.
Me when a guy on Tinder asks why I’m being such a bitch by not giving him my number.
2. And like every true betch she let her RBF do all the talking for her:
3. While other girls are getting ghosted by Bumble bros she had not one, but TWO guys willing to risk their literal souls for her love.
I’ll slow clap to that. Like, either of these guys could love me, leave me, and fuck me up emotionally and I would say “thanks for your time.”
4. And on that note, she had the original platinum vagine.
Sorry Corinne, but did your vagina ever cause someone to lose their soul/try and end the world and/or gain a soul/stop the end of the world? No? Then maybe you should think about re-branding those T-shirts…
5. She perfected the I DGAF attitude. Like, even though the apocalypse is coming she cannot even be bothered.
Me when everyone starts freaking out about an impending snowstorm.
6. She’s also, like, V uplifting.
Seriously, she should got into motivational speeches.
7. When her friends stepped out of line (which was always) and tried to pull something stupid shit like save the world or wear mom jeans with clear plastic inserts she’d be there to put them in their fucking place.
Words I whisper to myself every morning.
8. And she was ALWAYS having to save her friends from
getting blackout and taking home strangers vampire attacks.
9. She was full of
judgement insight into the human psyche.
That practically screams “Do not trust her. She’s a fugly slut.”
10. She died like, five times on the show and that still didn’t stop her from being the hottest cast member. And knowing it.
Tbh my only complaint is that she didn’t appreciate the true gift that was Anya.
Her appreciation for vengeance and sarcasm gives me the will to live. How can you not love this girl??
In conclusion, Buffy was one of the betchiest girls of the ’90s hands down. Now, if you need me, I’ll just be drinking like it’s 1997 again.
If you’re looking for an excuse to drunkenly rap the entire Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song, then you’re in luck because the Fresh Prince cast had a reunion. First things first, Rest In Peace Uncle Phil. As far as rich uncles with a hard exterior and a soft heart goes, you were one of the greats. Other than spending way to much time mentally comparing Jeffrey and Dorota or trying to figure out what the fuck Jaden Smith is talking about, we haven’t really thought about the Fresh Prince cast since the last time somebody brought up the “who was the better Aunt Viv?” debate. The answer will forever and always be the old Aunt Viv, btw. But this throwback brought back the ultimate west coast betch: Hilary Banks. TBH Cher Horowitz and Marissa Cooper can sit the fuck down because Hilary “hell is like the Valley” Banks is the reigning queen.
Hilary’s personality was based on the three tenants: don’t be easy, don’t be poor, don’t be ugly. Hmm, sounds vaguely familiar. So here’s a drinking game for the rest of this Hilary tribute: take a sip for every time you mentally say “same” and do a shot for every time you say “goals.” Make sure you have enough alcohol before reading the rest.
In her early years, Hilary was really good at not doing work. She quit the violin because it made her break out and she didn’t want her life to be a Noxzema commercial. She quit ballet because it fucked up her pedicure. She quit cheerleading because they made her ride a school bus to the away games, and even in a world before Uber, Hilary did not fuck with anything resembling public transportation.
Random people continuously mistook her for Whitney Houston, which in the late 1980s was a BFD. This was pre-crack Whitney, so being compared to her was like being compared to Beyoncé.
Whether she was complaining about the weather (even when she was a TV meteorologist), calling her dad for literally anything, going to a psychic, or spending a shit ton of money on her hair, Hilary’s life was a performance art version of The Betch List.
Much like nice girl Rory Gilmore, Hilary dropped out of UCLA (bc who gives a shit about college after tailgate season ends?) and moved into her parents’ pool house. But instead of planning parties for her grandmother’s friends, Hilary became a talk show host. She was the Oprah we need—imagine her doing an episode about Instagram pics. I would bet money this plot line inspired Tyra Banks’ show.
To announce her engagement to another TV host, Trevor—who she lied about hooking up with to her parents for almost a full season—she had him bungee jump to his death. And we’re out here dodging 2am “wyd?” texts. If Hilary were a 20-something living in 2017, she’d be deeply committed to read receipts and obsessed with Bumble.
But Hilary is truly the second coming of Jesus because she asked the iconic question: “Since coffee is made from beans, does that make it a vegetable?”
So pour out some Dom Perignon for one of the 90s’ flyest women, Hilary Banks. And props to Karyn Parsons for both bringing this iconic character to life, and for looking fantastic a full 20 years later: