Is there anything more telling about a person than their Zodiac sign? Maybe their holiday wishlist. Luckily, we’ve got you covered with the most accurate gift guide ever. Even if you don’t know enough about each zodiac sign’s strengths and weaknesses to make a highly accurate snap judgment about a person’s entire life and personality, at least you know exactly what to get your stubborn-ass Taurus sister this holiday season.
As the first sign in the zodiac, the Aries in your life is obsessed with being number one in pretty much everything. So for this self-proclaimed trendsetter, give them the gift of what they love most—showing up first—with this new fast-drying Shark hair dryer. Not only will they love the fact that they’re 10 steps ahead of everyone else who’s still gushing over their Dyson hair dryer (Aries knows that’s sooo last year) but they’ll also love the quick efficiency of this fast-drying, heat-damage-free Shark hair dryer.
Since Aries have an immature, childlike need for attention, you can contribute to their insatiable need to constantly be the center of everything by gifting the Aries in your life a gorgeous statement coat like this floral one from Hutch. Not only does the coat capture everyone and anyone’s attention with its bold, vibrant colors, but Aries will also find comfort in the kitschy flower print that plays to their more youthful desires.
The Taurus in your life knows a thing or two about being pampered, and is obsessed with everything luxurious. So let them life live every day like it’s a treat-yo-self spa day with this gorgeous facial steamer from the Honest x Vanity Planet collaboration. Of course, said Taurus will stubbornly insist that nothing compares to the expensive facial they got at the Ritz that one time, but even they will be pleasantly surprised with the high level of at-home luxury that this steamer offers.
Tauruses (Tauri?) will accept nothing short of the best of the best, so be sure to meet their high standard of luxury by treating them to the pinnacle of luxe living with a Barefoot Dreams blanket this holiday season. It’s one of those things that any sane person feels ridiculous purchasing for themselves because of the price point, but to receive as a gift? Well, even a stubborn Taurus won’t argue with that.
To put it nicely, the Gemini in your life is a bit unpredictable. They like variety and options because their taste can change on a whim. So since no one knows which way the wind will blow with a Gemini on any given day, just cover your bases and get them this versatile jacket that’s a blazer/hoodie combo and fittingly as adaptable as they are.
As we’ve established, the Gemini in your life craves variety and excitement, so what better gift for a Gemini than a wine subscription service? With this Bright Cellars wine subscription, Geminis will never get bored because they can pick four new wines every month. Not to mention, Geminis iconically love to drink and party, making this gift idea an all-around no-brainer.
Since Cancers are extremely intuitive and sensitive to the energies around them, give them a gift that allows them to tap into their more mystical side with this chic self-care crystal kit. Even if they’re not into the whole mystical crystal thing yet, the fact that you knew enough about them to know the traits of a Cancer to even come up with this gift idea is sentimental enough to make Cancer tear up over the thoughtfulness.
The Cancer in your life is sensitive, sentimental, and nostalgic. So give them what they love most, a chance to have even more sentimental possessions by gifting them a Polaroid camera. As if they weren’t hoarding enough already (please finally toss those 7th grade “love” letters, I beg of you) now they can enjoy taking fuzzy retro pics of you two in the name of creating more precious memories. Just don’t be surprised if you now get a mushy scrapbook with some of these photos for next holiday.
Represented by a lion, an aggressively obvious trait of Leos is that they love their mane AKA their hair. So treat Leos to a silk pillowcase which will help protect their beloved tresses while they sleep, plus it adds an element of glamour to their daily sleep routine.
If I could imagine a bag for a Leo, this would be it. This bag is everything that a Leo loves: glitz, glamour, and style. To put it simply, the bag is as over-the-top and attention-seeking as they are.
Nothing quite guarantees a Virgo’s restful night sleep like the mental comfort of knowing they’re in a matching pajama set. The successful execution of their Type-A perfectionist tendencies trickling all the way down to their nighttime outfit gives a Virgo a high that could only be matched by giving them an organizer. Speaking of…
Virgos are lovers of organization, aesthetics, and getting shit done, and this cheeky House of CB stationary feels like it was designed for their sign specifically. As your resident Virgo here, I can attest to the fact that I’m legit getting excited over the idea of crossing things off this highly aesthetically pleasing to-do list.
Notoriously indecisive, let your Libra indulge in their helpless indecision by giving them a gift that allows them to explore options. With this perfume sampler set, they can thoughtfully ponder which perfume they like best from this beloved brand without actually having to commit to a full-size bottle. Not having to choose is the best gift you could possibly give.
Libras love to beautify their surroundings with harmonious things, so what better gift than this gorgeous healing crystal candle? This one in particular has the intention for balance, something Libras basically invented and will certainly appreciate.
Scorpios get stereotyped as aggressive, but for good reason—because it’s true. Not to be that girl again, but have you ever dated a Scorpio? Yeah, exactly. Ironically, Scorpios have no tolerance for games and manipulation when it comes to relationships, so play this game to figure out what their dealbreakers are. Maybe you’ll actually learn a thing or two about this sign that’s normally secretive and mysterious.
Another great option for your Scorpio friend is this sexy faux leather strapless top. This top screams hot-Scorpio-about-to-ruin-your-life and they’ll love owning that energy all night at the bar while potential suitors hopelessly buy them drinks.
Get the restless and adventurous Sagittarius this stylish wintry belt bag, which is perfect for all of their #wanderlust adventures. Since they’re always on the go, they obviously can’t be bothered with an actual purse, so they’ll love the ease of this convenient Lululemon belt bag.
Since Sagittarius is the most high energy of all the signs, you can be certain that they’re actually making it to that 6am Barre class you both signed up for… unlike yourself. So for your Sagittarius friend, gift them a cute workout set that you know they’ll wear to the five million different workout classes they attend. Plus, that way, when you inevitably bail on the class because you’re too hungover, you can rest easy in bed knowing independent Sag still made it to class without you and looked cute as hell while there.
Probably the most obvious gift I’ll suggest in this gift guide is this stylish tailored blazer for the hardworking and ambitious Capricorn. Even if said Capricorn is still in a work-from-home situation, they’ll probs still wear this subtly printed blazer just for the Zooms, if only to remind everyone of what a boss they are.
Capricorns are very disciplined, and as such, they value skin care. So get them a gift only a diligent Capricorn would appreciate: a LED face mask. You know you’ll get your money’s worth since they’re the only person you can actually count on to use it regularly enough to get results.
Your non-conforming Aquarius friend will adore the understated irony of this casually cool Bodega-inspired crewneck. The nonchalant streetwear graphic is anti-mainstream, perfect for your alternative Aquarius.
Aquarians have always been into all things sci-fi, but now it’s actually trendy to be into space shit. Since it’s currently cool, there are lots of space-themed fashion pieces you can get them, like this celestial-inspired necklace they’re sure to love.
Pisces will appreciate both the dreamy artistic design and sustainable worldliness of this top from independent designer, Ecru. They’ll love the imaginative design inspired by the Peruvian mountains and take pride in this artistic gift.
Pisces seek to constantly express themselves creatively, so get them this paint by numbers art set which is a combination of everything they love: art and the beach. They’ll love being able to lose themselves in the activity of painting, plus they’ll get a wall-worthy image at the end of it, unlike some of their other free-spirited, emotionally-inspired art that they currently have on display.
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Somehow Christmas music is already playing on the radio, so I guess it’s time to start buying gifts. I’ve had since last Christmas to think about what to buy people, but it’s still not enough time—especially for the people who aren’t easily satisfied with a Glossier Balm Dot Com Trio or an Aquis Rapid Dry Hair Wrap.
This is the quintessential gift guide for those people in your life. I promise you they won’t own any of this. No one has this sh*t. From an intravenous drip for plants to a Juliette Lewis mousepad, you won’t find these things on the Goop Gift Guide.
New Parent: Wearable Mop for a Baby
Did you know being a parent is hard? Let’s make the newborn do something while they’re doing nothing. My favorite thing about this item is that it comes in a range of sizes. Even if your baby is already 18-24 months, they can wear one of these. No need to encourage the baby to walk when crawling makes the floors cleaner. Takes the pressure off the parents and the baby.
Horticulturist: Life Support Plant Drop
This is really a gift to yourself because you no longer have to kill their plants while they’re out of town. Is this you? “Why are the leaves brown? It’s either too much water or too little water. Could it be not enough light? Well, no, because this is where they left the plant. They wouldn’t have left it in this corner if it’s not supposed to be in this corner. I don’t really get thirsty until the evening. Maybe I’m watering at the wrong time of day?” If any of that sounds like your own internal dialogue, it’s time to get your friend a more dependable way to keep their plants happy and healthy.
Celiac: Bread Plush Pillow
For those that have a real allergy to gluten and miss bread. This is not a gift for those who have given up gluten for non-medical reasons. People who have been able to give up gluten for non-medical reasons don’t really love bread, and they really never did.
WFHomer: Juliette Lewis Mousepad
This is for the friend who learned they never even had to be in an office in the first place. No more stinky leftovers being microwaved or coworkers knowing each other’s bathroom schedule—this friend of yours is set. All that’s missing is a Juliette Lewis mousepad to go with their three monitors and ergonomic chair. “It’s a good quality item.” (A quote from Cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation, a film in which Juliette Lewis shines.)
Dog Parent: Urine Detector Light
When someone leaves their dog home alone, they don’t know what’s gone down while they’ve been away. Finally, a gadget to ruin their ignorance. An anonymous Amazon customer wrote, “try not to burn your house down when you see how much your pet has actually peed on your carpet…I suggest you have a few shots of whiskey so you don’t care as much about how much urine is in your carpet!”
AirPods Lover: Cordless Jump Rope
So, you’re telling me that while we don’t need a cord for headphones we also don’t need a rope for jump? These are the AirPods of exercise equipment. Your loved one will never trip on that silly rope again. Tangle-free living, baby!
Overachiever: Umbrella Hat
For that very busy person who doesn’t even have time to hold an umbrella, get them this. It goes well with AirPods and the Cordless Jump Rope. They can be listening to music and jumping rope while it is pouring down rain. That’s a W.
Traveler Who is Anti-Vaxx: Sky Mall Bigfoot
Remember the catalog Sky Mall? Me too. Well, your friend who refuses to get vaccinated might not be able to travel in the future, so why not get them one of the most memorable gifts from Sky Mall? Every time they look out their window, they can be reminded of the friendly skies they once frequented.
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