Since our last article on this subject just a mere few months ago, 2018 hasn’t gotten any better. As if 2018 couldn’t kick us in the nuts any harder, Pete and Ariana called off their engagement, the Keto diet has been deemed unhealthy (bye to my excuse for binge eating cheese), and Apple decided to start letting us know exactly how much time we waste per week just staring at our phones. Awesome. As if these tragic events aren’t excuse enough to just spend the rest of December blacked out until the new year, fashion trends haven’t gotten any less tragic, either. Which is why I’m here writing this article. I’m here to extend our previous list for the worst trends of 2018 and finally put to rest all of 2018’s terrible trends that we’re ready to say “thank, u next” to come 2019. Alright, let’s do this.
1. Tiny Sunglasses
This was a trend that was huge this summer (I mean duh, cause like, sun) but the season has ended and it still hasn’t gone away. Look, I was on board for a minute, bought myself a few cheap cute pairs to get some like-worthy Instas, but after that, c’mon, what’s the point??? They legit do not even do their only job of keeping the sun out of your eyes. Not to mention that if they’re not sitting on the exact right spot on the bridge of your nose then you look like the three blind mice, just like, without your other two blind friends. I’m so done with this impractical trend. Take me back to the early 2000s, the days of Paris and Nicole, and their obnoxiously oversized sunnies. At least with the huge ones I feel glamorous, not like a wannabe Insta model, and I’m actually shielding my eyes from the sun. In fact, with oversized sunnies, I’m shielding like, half of my face from the sun. Uhmmm, who needs expensive eye cream from Sephora when oversized sunnies are #antiaging at its best?
2. Fanny Packs
Now, I don’t know that I want to totally deem fanny packs done. But, I do know for certain that I want to go ahead and classify the trend of wearing your fanny pack across your chest as dunzo. Fanny packs in their original form with their intended use actually do make sense, and are in fact quite practical. However, slung across your chest, they become a useless seatbelt-adjacent accessory that pretty much looks stupid on everyone who isn’t a celebrity. And, tbh, I don’t love it on celebrities, either. Not to mention how extra terrible this trend looks on anyone who is bigger than an A cup. Like, I don’t look like a stylish fashion blogger with a huge fanny pack across my chest. I look like your crazy aunt who probs keeps some hard candies, Xanax, a flask, and some Gas-X in her fanny pack. Not cute.
3. Exaggerated Sleeves
If you have tried consuming an actual meal while wearing a trendy exaggerated sleeve then you know exactly why this trend needs to die with 2018. Not only have I officially dipped them in every sauce imaginable, but I’ve also gotten caught on enough door handles to justify just burning all my big-sleeved tops right now. I’m not going to wait until I dip my sleeve in my festive holiday candle and set my entire being aflame before just deeming this trend done. Over it.
4. Newspaper Boy Hat
If you haven’t Insta’d in a newsboy hat, then there’s no way you’re influencer-level enough to be hawking FabFitFun boxes. I mean, nothing says ~fashion~ like a trendy newsboy hat that everyone and their mom is wearing, right??? Even though I’m deeming this trend over, that’s not to say with the potential Lizzie McGuire reboot that everyone’s been whispering about that this trend may not come right back to bite Gordo in his brown-nosing ass come 2019. I mean, Lizzie wore a newsboy hat so I did. And like, I bought five. So if this trend does want to come back for 2019, I’m not going to be mad about it.
5. Aggressive Logos
Wearing a Gucci logo T-shirt when you’re a celeb is one thing. But, when everyone including your mailman is wearing one, it’s no longer cool. Because, simply put, it’s no longer exclusive. Like, it’s cool when you’re just so rich that even just your T-shirts are designer. However, it’s not cool when you’re a twentysomething living off of your parents and maxing out your credit cards to do so. Let’s leave logo-mania to Kylie and Stormi in their full matching Fendi sweatsuits, shall we?
Unlike a Real Housewife on a reunion show, I’m aware of my own potential hypocrisy. I may easily deem these trends “done” just to be wearing them again come 2019. I know fashion is cyclical and, who knows, come January 1st, as I rise from my blackout coma state, I may be decked out in a Gucci tracksuit with a fanny pack across my chest and tiny sunnies resting on the bridge of my nose. Only time will tell. Here’s to 2019, betches!
Images: @aaronburson / Unsplash; @kyliejenner, @bhadidnews, @revolve, @weworewhat, @oliviaculpo / Instagram
2018 is a weird time in the world of fashion. Everyone is wearing the tiny sunglasses from The Matrix, you’re expected to wear bike shorts in public, and now some insane person has decided that we should also be incorporating yellow into our wardrobes. Hard pass. But perhaps the strangest fashion development yet this year are these incredibly fugly LaCroix swimsuits. Yes, LaCroix, as in the flavored sparkling water that half of you love to pregame with, and half of you wouldn’t drink if your life depended on it. I happen to fall in the latter category, but these suits are disgusting no matter what.
LaCroix started to have a major moment a couple years ago, when people apparently first realized that most mixers are, like, not good for you. LaCroix quickly became one of the biggest basic bitch trends, but no one really cares about it anymore. That didn’t stop designer Eric Wu from slapping the LaCroix logo on some swimsuits for summer 2018. I’m not sure this truly counts as being a “designer,” because I’m pretty sure I could make these same swimsuits on any website that lets you customize T-shirts.
So yeah, the swimsuits are ugly as fuck, but to each his own I guess. The suits come in five different ~flavors~, which are Pure, Lemon Lime, Passionfruit, Pamplemousse, and Cran-Raspberry. Sorry to all you psychopaths who like the coconut flavor, no swimsuits for you. You’ll just have to drink that nasty shit in normal clothes like sad peasants. The Pure swimsuit is probably the least heinous, but also I don’t trust anyone who drinks the Pure flavor of LaCroix, so this is really a lose-lose situation.
Luckily, there are LaCroix swimsuits for both men and women, so you can guarantee your place as the most cringeworthy couple on the beach this summer with just one online order. The one-piece is $49.50, and the men’s trunks are $39.50, because of course the one for women has to cost more. Further evidence that you should not buy these swimsuits! If you and your boyfriend both want to wear these together, congratulations, you truly deserve each other. Now get out of my face and never speak to me again.
So yeah, if I see anyone at the beach this summer wearing these LaCroix swimsuits, they’re cordially invited to not be my friend. Hopping on the fun one-piece trend is great and there’s nothing wrong with a fun swimsuit, but the obsession with LaCroix has gone far enough. It’s fucking sparkling water, guys, it’s not that special.
Images: @publicspace.xyz / Instagram; Giphy
