The Taco Cleanse Is An Actual Real Diet That We Could Get Into

If you haven’t already broken your New Year’s resolution, or are a fucking reasonable person and didn’t make one at all but still want to lose three pounds, you should probably try the greatest cleanse ever invented: The Taco Cleanse.

Sure, most cleanses are complete garbage and starve your body of nutrients while making you lose water weight and no actual fat. But this vegan all-taco diet doesn’t sound so terrible.

Instead of drinking fucking gross lemon and cayenne pepper water for a week, you just eat only vegan tacos every day for all meals. The authors of the book/cleanse give you the recipes for how you go about achieving taco-weight-loss greatness.

You can’t, like, go off book and go to Taco Bell, Karen. Use some logic, fat ass. Your tacos will probably have to include mostly vegetables and other healthy shit. 

As if we needed more reasons to brag to our friends that we’re on a cleanse and also use the taco emoji in the same group chat.


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