Southern Betch Lemon Bars

The south WOULD rise it again; were it not for desserts full of sugar and dishes that are deep-fried and coated in mayonnaise.

If you live below the Mason-Dixon line, you can’t go to any event without seeing the classic southern lemon bar. Think like, a brownie-sized bar with lemon and sugar and shame instead of chocolate and shame. We’re not saying to make these for yourself; rather, make them for a picnic or country club event – even a fucking horse race viewing party. They’re delicious and refreshing and go great with a mint julep.



  • ¾ cup unsalted butter, melted completely but no longer hot
  • ½ cup white granulated sugar
  • 1 tsp lemon zest
  • Pinch of kosher salt
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour


  • 1 ½ cups white granulated sugar (moar sugarrrr)
  • 3 tbsps all-purpose flour
  • ½ tsp kosher salt
  • 2 tsps lemon zest
  • 4 eggs
  • ¾ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (FRESH; not that strange squeeze-bottle shit)
  • 1 tbsp powdered sugar

Grab a basic 13×9 baking dish/pan what-have-you. Coat the whole goddamn thing with non-stick cooking spray. Preheat the oven to 325F.

In a medium bowl, stir together the sugar, salt, lemon zest, and vanilla until it comes together. Stir in the flour and melted butter until a crumbly, sandy-looking dough forms.

Press the dough evenly into the bottom of the baking pan, then prick all over with a fork. Freeze the dough for like 5 minutes, then immediately put in the oven and bake for 25 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

While that shit bakes, stir together the ingredients for the lemon topping. Once the crust is out of the oven, immediately pour on the lemon topping. Return the whole fucking thing to the oven and bake for about 20 minutes at 350F or until the lemon part is no longer jiggly (like your thighs).

Remove from the oven and cool, then sprinkle on the powdered sugar.


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