Some Loser Thought A Vibrator Was A Bomb

According to San Diego News, a bomb reported last week in the county courthouse turned out to actually be a vibrator. Said the news source, the object was “an egg-shaped piece of aluminum attached to an electrical cord.

How embarrassing… the article didn’t say who called to report it, but we can only hope it wasn’t one of those nice girls who are like weirdly proud they’ve “never had a real orgasm.”  Also, just because it wasn’t a bomb doesn’t mean it’s not cause for concern.  Like what was a vibrator doing in the courthouse? I mean, does its owner like, get off on weird crime shit?  And you don’t just casually forget your vibrator on the streets, unless maybe it was evidence in a crime case? So many questions, it's almost like an episode of Serial.

At first we thought this was some joke, like a clever ad for Babeland, but alas, it’s another example of why we can’t have nice things. This sort of thing is like expected in Florida, but we thought you knew better, San Diego. At least they were right about one thing, it was definitely an inside job.

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