By now we all know that being on The Bachelor or its adjacent shows is simply a gateway to
finding love becoming a D-List celebrity. Basically every ex-contestant leaves their day job the day they step foot in the mansion, and while some have since found success as a writer (Andi Dorfman), a sportscaster (Jordan Rodgers), or professional gym-selfie taker/Lifetime Network actor (Nick Viall), most are making the big bucks by simply peddling random shit on Instagram. Oh, the places you can go when you are hot and have no shame…
If you haven’t seen their ads by now, then please tell me how you have the self control to NOT follow them on Instagram. Because I have been suckered into trying at least one of their “favorite” products and I am still considering getting a pair of DIFF Eyewear shades. But for those of you that are considering a career in post-Bachelor product placement ads or can’t decide if you should take retail advice from ex-reality TV stars who obviously didn’t spend their own money on those items: here is our breakdown of the most popular products among ex-Bachelor contestants and our
unsolicited opinion on whether or not you should give them a try.
Pushed heavily by Jojo, this subscription box costs $49.99 and is filled with “seasonal” beauty, style, and fitness products. I seriously wonder how much of this shit Jojo actually uses and how much ends up in her trash can. It does, however, appear to be worth the money. The items in each box are worth around $200 and you get them for less than $50. So if you are into random shit that you don’t need and don’t pick out—go ahead and sign up.
2. SugarBearHair Vitamins
Yes, Amanda Stanton has incredible hair, but I seriously doubt it is because of a gummy vitamin that looks like a Care Bear. Most likely it’s a combination of extensions and good genes, and the extra Biotin from these cartoon candies isn’t making a whole lot of difference. I am however, impressed by her ability to carry the weight of all that hair on her 90-pound frame. Her head must be so strong. I can’t pretend to be a total hater, though, I did try these for awhile because I am a sucker with thin hair. They tasted delicious and my hair did seem shiny.
3. DIFF Eyewear
This Toms-esque company donates reading glasses for every pair of shades sold, so by now, Jade and Tanner have likely helped an entire African village with their close-up vision. The glasses cost $85 a pop (you can get 25% off if you use
my a Bachelor discount code), which seems a bit pricey for an item that is likely to get lost within a month. I have a serious sunglass addiction, so I will probably buy a pair before I finish writing this article—but I will feel bad about it. JK, I’ll be helping people read; this is a great use of money I don’t have. I do, however, recommend that you practice the restraint and stick to $15 knockoffs.
Meal prep/delivery companies like HelloFresh are popular among Bachelor celebrities Sean and Catherine, Olivia Caridi, Robby Hayes, and actually, everyone else. With plans of $9.99 per serving where you still have to do all the work/cooking, I really don’t understand how this is a superior option to delivery. I will gladly pay 10 extra dollars a meal to ensure I never have to clean a dish. But if you like to cook and don’t have the time to go shopping yourself, this seems like a more responsible subscription plan than a FabFitFun box.
5. MVMT Watches
Dean Unglert and his more attractive, less-of-a-fuckboy older brother figure, Peter “Why Aren’t You The Bachelor” Kraus, have both found a sponsor in MVMT watches. While I am glad there is some Instagram work for the men of the franchise, and these are nice looking watches, I don’t totally understand how this is a real company. Do people still wear watches? Is there some sort of watch revolution that I wasn’t aware of? I don’t get it, but I would hate someone wearing a MVMT less than I hate anyone wearing an Apple Watch—so if you are in the market for some wrist flair, go ahead and drop $100+ on one of these babies.