Should I Tell My Ex That I’ve Been Hooking Up With Other Guys? Dear Betch…

Dear Betches,

So my boyfriend and I broke up when we graduated high school because we went to boarding school and are going to college thousands of miles away. We're still close friends and vowed to tell each other if we hookup with anyone else. So far, I've hooked up with four other guys, while he's hooked up with no one and his friends text me constantly saying how he has no game anymore. My hookups were platonic and had no feeling but I only told him about one of the guys. When I told him he freaked out at me so I can't seem to muster up the courage to admit the other three. So, the questions are 1) am I an awful person with a heart of stone and 2) should I tell him?


A girl with a slightly guilty conscience

Dear Delusional,

WTF? Are you positive you both have graduated? Like, really sure? Because this stupid-ass “vow” screams high school. This is dumb AF in so many ways. First off, if you think any guy who talks to you regularly–let alone an ex–is just a friend, you are seriously disturbed. Second. why would you think this hookup pact is a thing that normal, platonic friends do? Like how did that conversation play out?

Him: Yeah, let's just be friends but promise to tell me every other dude you hook up with so I can judge if I was stupid to have broken up with you or not, but like totally as friends, nothing romantic or anything.
You: Seems legit.

?? Your ex just wants what every ex wants: to get a whole bunch of ass while knowing their ex is wasting away, lonely AF and not hooking up with anybody. That's what this “vow” is about. Obviously. Unfortunately for your ex, it plan backfired on him (but props to you tho). Sucks, but under no circumstances should you tell him about your other hookups. Betches keep that shit on a need-to-know basis, he's not your bf anymore so he doesn't need to know. Full stop.

Newsflash, this guy wants to get back into your life because he has nothing going on in his life because (presumably) he ain't shit. Also probs why his friends are texting you (because despite what you told me, you're all still in high school and your ex is sending his friends to not-so-subtly do his bidding). Don't be surprised if he tries to hit you up over your next break.

Don't say I didn't warn you,

The Betches

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