Going to the gym sucks. You’re telling me I have to pay an exorbitant monthly fee for the privilege to be miserable? That thought alone is enough to raise your heart-rate. However, you may be able to get a good workout without even leaving the bedroom. Depending on how lazy you and your partner are, sex actually can actually count as your exercise for the day. So what sex positions should you do if you’re trying to skip the gym? We found out the sex positions that burn the most calories with the help of this sex calculator.
In a 30-minute period, an average woman will burn around 122 calories on top with moderate effort. According to The Cut, you can try squatting above your partner to bring the caloric rate up to 172 per half hour. If you’re vigorous enough, a woman can burn up to 220 calories per half hour, putting this at the top of the list of sex positions that burn the most calories, at least for women. Unfortunately, your boyfriend won’t be doing any work. As usual.
2. Reverse Cowgirl
This position can burn slightly less than cowgirl (weird), going to 210 calories in a half hour if you’re REALLY trying at maximum effort. Yes, it’s a lot of work (ugh), but still better and more fun than 5 minutes on the treadmill.
Standing sex is super hard to navigate and usually kind of awkward and terrible (example: shower sex), but it’s one of the sex positions that burns the most calories, clocking in at up to 165 calories per half hour. Half an hour is a really long time to stay standing having sex (or even to be standing without having sex, if you’re me), so assuming your legs don’t cramp up and you’re not horribly uncomfortable, then go ahead and do this one. Dudes will burn 220 calories per half hour in this position, so it’s a great choice if he is particularly gym-averse.
4. Legs Up
If you keep your legs up during sex, a woman can burn 116 calories per half hour. It also works your leg muscles, so there’s that bonus too. Because life is unfair, if your partner is a man in this position, he will burn 127 calories per half hour. This is the most equal high burn position for you both if you’re trying to knock out cardio together.
5. Doggy Style
If you’re into doggy, try engaging your leg muscles and core (i.e. throwing it back vs. just kneeling there on all fours and enduring it), and you will burn 100 calories (for a woman). A man will burn 150 for a 30-minute period. If you put it maximum effort, you can burn up to 135 calories per half hour.
Surprisingly, even though spooning seems lazy as shit, this also miraculously makes the list of sex positions that burn the most calories. Blessings. A woman burns 100 calories while a man burns 110 from spooning. By being on your side, you’re engaging your core, so you can skip your ab workout, too. This is perfect for the betch that wants to do the bare minimum and it’s not as bad as missionary, which only burns like 40 calories. (That’s what you get for being boring.)
The moral of the story here is you have to have sex for at least 30 minutes to make any real significant dent in caloric deficiency, and I’m sorry, I have shit to do. Also, all of these positions burn about the same as walking around the block for a half hour. But since you’re having sex anyway, you might as well maximize it and get a workout. And maybe think about finally canceling that gym membership.