Finally, the best day of the week has arrived. It’s Thirsty Thursday, Friday Eve, whatever the hell you call it, and most importantly, it’s another Sephora Weekly Wow. Halle-FUCKING-lujah. If you don’t know WTF I’m talking about, you probably
live under a rock don’t have internet??? The event for anyone that’s beauty-obsessed (so like, all of us) is Sephora’s new weekly sale that selects products to be 50 percent off. The deal only lasts for seven days, or until inconsiderate bitches buy it all (which happens more often than not). Anyone with a sense of time knows a week is not that long, so I normally would advise against camping outside or anything dramatic, but again, a betch has to do what a betch has to do if it means grabbing that palette you’ve been eyeing for half off. I’m just saying, desperate times call for desperate measures. If you missed out on the last two sales, I’m honestly concerned here’s to hoping third time’s the charm. I got the hot gossip on this week’s goodies so, call an Uber and hustle to your nearest Sephora—or better yet, just get to online shopping, loser.
^^^Jessica Simpson is me. I am Jessica Simpson.
There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The limit does not exist for how many Naked palettes you can have, especially when one is literally 50 percent off. That one being the most essential for next season and all the “let’s get fucked up” festivities it involves. Create the Insta-worthy smoky eye you’ve been trying to achieve since like, 8th grade with this palette’s 12 irresistible shades and variety of finishes. From ~nudes~ to stunning grays to our beloved black, each shade is infused with top-notch ingredients to keep it smooth af for easy, breezy, beautiful blendability. Plus, the case features a full-size mirror and double-ended brush to make it easier to perfect your
slutty smoky look.
A contour kit for dummies is essentially
what I need this is. This palette comes in two colors, Light/Medium or Medium/Dark, with three custom shades to define, bronze, and highlight for a natural-looking sculpted face. Natural is the key word here, so be sure to choose the color that looks best with your skin tone so you don’t up looking like a ratchet wannabe Kim K Aubrey O’Day. See:
Not only does it come with a full step-by-step guide “for all levels” (sooo if you’ve never heard of blending…), but it also comes with an angled brush for seamless application.
This is the holy grail of all moisturizers ever. Hope In A Jar basically speaks for itself in the sense that it truly holds the key to looking young and healthy forever in its little container. This lightweight moisturizer gently exfoliates your face by removing dead skin cells and reverses all the effects that stumbling home and passing out with your makeup on had on your skin. Yes, there is still hope for us.
So like, take everything I just said above and add in a broad-spectrum SPF 30 to protect yo’ face from sun rays that cause wrinkles, uneven texture, scarring, and oh yeah, SKIN CANCER. The moisturizer smooths out your skin and provides long lasting hydration so you feel and look like a glowing goddess.
Okay, I know this is beginning to sound redundant, but unlike the 100 seasons of Pretty Little Liars, I promise the more they create of these, the better they get. This formula takes on a new twist with ingredients specifically made for dry AF skin types.
Ugh, bless. So with all that damage the sun caused your skin this summer, you’ll need this extra hydrating moisturizer so you don’t feel like Hanna here ^. Infused with long-ass words I can’t pronounce and don’t feel like typing along with some “Asian fruits,” this formula promises a glow that’ll last all day long.