Science Confirms Alcohol Makes You Hook Up With Ugly People

Fugly people rejoice, you’re more likely to get laid at happy hour! University of Bristol researchers performed the first ever study on beer goggles and found that yes, being drunk does in fact make you perceive people as more attractive. I meannnnnn, fucking duh.

The researchers had volunteers either drink alcohol or placebos that tasted like alcohol and then rate pictures of men, women, and landscapes. Those who drank alcohol rated all three types of pictures as more attractive. Now at least you have a scientific excuse for that time you hooked up with that guy you thought was blonde but whose hair was actually white when you saw him on the quad the next day. The landscape part could also explain why, if you’ve ever stumbled into a bar while sober it looks less like an awesome, chic lounge and more like a crack den that also sells PBR.