Risotto: Because You’re Classy AF

Risotto is one of those things that can strike fear into the heart of the non-domestic betch. The fact that this side dish is time-consuming, can be full of calories, and has the reputation for being difficult can leave you scrounging for Minute Rice like you’re povo. Sad.

The worst part of all that is the fact that risotto is actually really easy; it just requires some attention – not unlike your professional insta-stalking ability or talent for pretending to listen to weird Aunt Ginny's story so she'll send money for your birthday this year. Plus, you can flavor risotto with pretty much whatever you have on hand. On a sweet potato kick? Totally works. Want to add some kale? You go, Glen Coco.

  • 1 cup Arborio rice
  • 3 cups dry white wine, chicken stock, or water (or a combo of the three), divided
  • ¼ cup sweet onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsps butter
  • 2 tbsps extra virgin olive oil
  • Salt and pepper, to taste

Saute the onion in the olive oil and butter until it's translucent – about 3-5 minutes. Add the rice and “toast” for about 2 minutes.

Add the first cup of liquid to the rice. The rice will start to suck up the liquid, so you need to keep watching, cooking, and stirring until all the liquid is more or less absorbed. When the first cup is almost totally gone, add the second cup of liquid. Do the same thing – watching, stirring, texting, judging, etc. You don’t want the pan to be so hot that the liquid just evaporates, so keep this shit at medium throughout. It’ll take a little while, but it’s totes worth it in the end.

Repeat with the third cup; but before the third cup gets sucked up like a vodka soda, you’ll want to add any “mix-ins” … sooo spinach, mashed roasted sweet potatoes, tomatoes and basil, caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, etc. If you don't want any mix-ins, you can keep it plain and basic (but why would you?).  Additionally, any add-ins are to be treated the same way as froyo toppings – just eyeball it and stop when it feels right.

Taste test the rice — it should be soft, with very little bite (think less than al dente pasta). It shouldn't be gooey or gluey — like that time our friend didn't realize you had to boil water before adding pasta and she came out with mush. Bless her.

Take your delicious creation and use it as a side OR the main attraction with roasted chicken, salmon, or what the fuck ever you choose. The world is your kitchen, betch. You've conquered risotto.


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