Last night's Revenge was definitely solid, even though halfway through the ep we reached a general consensus that we had no idea what the fuck anyone was doing. Why is Daniel actually doing work? That's new. Does Nolan ever get tired of watching Victoria pace around a room? Are they still trying to make Go Quest Go happen? Is the WHM stored in everyone's phone as White Haired Man? But the best part of this entire episode was that Conrad actually beat the shit out of Victoria, and the worst part is that we didn't get to see it.
After a lot of rewinding we figured it out. Vic was trying to take Charlotte (and her money) out of the country using fake passports supplied by the White Haired Man. But then Daniel discovered that the company's profits were too high, so CLEARLY this meant that Conrad had inflated them using none other than Char's trustie, fucking obviously. So Vic was like screw you bastard daughter, show me the money or GTFO. Naturally this meant it was time to call Conrad who did her the favor of beating her up, in an effort to frame the White Haired Mafia for kidnapping her, so she could come back to life and have money again…we think.
Prediction: Nolan's company being audited is going to bring up sketchy questions of where half the shares went after he hand-delivered them to Emanda when he picked her up from juvie.
Ashley and Daniel have as much chemistry as Declan and a vagina. The only tension Daniel feels is deciding between asking Ashely to get him a cup of coffee and fucking her.
Who's this preppy bro hitting on Declan? Oh hello Oliver Trask. But listen Declan, chill with the bitter speech. It's called financial aid and it's what you get when your home is restaurant.
So like, who is Famanda's (fake Amanda, f. duh) real baby daddy? Takeda?
Conrad, it's Victoria…the next few moments are going to the most important seconds of your miserable life. You're going to do exactly as I say or I will haunt you until your last pathetic day on earth.
…Vic obviously saw Taken 2 this weekend.
Daniel doesn't really seem at all shocked to see his mother for the first time..or he's just THAT bad an actor.
“He blew up my plane. He killed poor Lydia.” This show has more lies than Bachelor Pad.
White haired mannibal lecter – Nolan
What now revenger? – Nolan
Daniel who's been gelling your hair lately? Ashley? Danny Zuko?
“I feel like you just expect me to be your exceptionally dressed technologically savvy sidekick!” Don't pretend you don't love that role, Nolan.
Really though who's this accounting analyst? And who actually cares that much about a company you just started working for? Oh look! The Indian accountant can go on the interwebs on her tablet to, let me guess, Go Quest Go new recipes for curry.
Emanda: I don't care where you go tonight Nolan, I need the place to myself, I'm hosting a red sharpie convention.
Emanda is saved and OMG, it's the Black Haired Man!