Real World Roundup: Prince Harry So Horny

In case you've never heard of a little known site called TMZ.com before, they got pictures of Prince Harry playing strip billiards. Evidently he sucks at pool because he's completely naked here. Really Har, you're going to take it this far and not even let us catch a glimpse of the royal frotch? It doesn't seem like there were that many people around, meaning Harry must know exactly who took the pics. So he knows who Grandma Elizabetch should deport, right? Listen Harry, those pics are epic, and no matter how much of the kingdom Grams threatens to take away from you, don't apologize. Just be like, IT WAS VEGAS AND I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE. (Also on this Vegas trip we hear he ran into Ryan Lochte, challenged him to a swim race, and lost. Just a day in the monarchial life.) Read article>>

In the past 12 hours our worlds have basically been turned upside down (but actually not at all) upon learning that not only is Avril Lavigne no longer dating Brody Jenner, but she's engaged to Nickelback singer Chad Kroeger, whose name we didn't previously know. Why you have to go and make things so complicated, A? We have a feeling Bruce Jenner's son somehow wasn't “sk8rboi” enough so she said…wait for it…see ya later, boy. Read article>>

We tried to ignore this boring scandal, but if you haven't heard the words “legitimate rape” in the past week you've probably been like, on vaca. We'll fill you in real quick so as to not seem absolutely 100% ignorant. Republican senator from Missouri Todd Akin made a retarded statement that women don't get pregnant during rape because their body can naturally prevent it. Obviously this is not true, just another really stupid attempt by the government to deprive betches of our #102 birth control. Really bad rape joke, T. Just ask Barstool how it feels. And then he (surprise!!) apologized it by saying rape is not a joke. Here's a joke for you toddy boy: 2 politicians walk into a bar, no one gets raped. Read article>>

 

In the latest in Betchocracy aka election news, Eva Longoria will be speaking at the democratic convention. Is it because she dated a black guy once? Or did the Dems finally realize the importance of having a hot keynote speaker after watching Game Change? If not it had to be that they thought she could speak to the evils of Wall Wisteria Street after señor Solis' financial problems. Read article>>

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